MILLSUMMIT 2024: The Confidence to Connect: Develop Your Professional Pitch Keynote Session

[Music] m [Music] all right all right guys are you ready for your first keynote speaker oh come on are you ready for your first keynote speaker so our first keynote speaker is a communicator a connector a community champion who follows a faith Le calling to serve and support others as director of communications for High Mark Blue Shield and Southeastern PA she is responsible for media relations public relations and communication strategies that supports the organization's mission and vision reputation and brand and living strategy and high Mark's newest Market prior to this role she has managed Communications Community Affairs and philanthropic Investments for High Mark BlueCross Blue Shield Delaware overseeing more than 20 million and health focused grants throughout Delaware outside of work she commits Time treasure and talent to exceptional care for children Junior Achievement of Delaware Public allies Delaware Central Delaware Chamber of Commerce public relations Society of America Delaware a committee of a 100 she is also involved in the governor's Commission of employment and Social Services leadership Delaware and University of Delaware horn entrepreneurship and learner College mentoring programs she is also moderated by Chelsea Clark which is a VP of spur impact board member our first keynote da crumrine [Music] is this working ah it is good morning everyone hi welcome welcome we are very excited to be here I'm very excited to be able to sit and chat with denain we get to hear so many wonderful thoughts from her and I just want to say I applaud everybody in this room for being here today professional development really is an ongoing process so no matter where you are on your professional path the fact that you're here today and will willing to engage and learn massive kudos to all of you so I think da is ready to take us back to basics good morning everyone good morning everyone I always hate it when people do that but I'm gonna do it okay so before we kick off as Chelsea said we're getting back to basics and yes thank you all for being here this is so exciting I would love to share a quick story and then make you guys do a really awkward exercise so when I was in college at University of Delaware I had an amazing professor professor bar she's actually the reason I got into public relations and the very first thing she had our class do was demonstrate our handshake so your handshake is a first impression it is your intent to connect so I would love for all of you to stand up you don't have to but please stand up if you're willing find a partner first key component to a good handshake is any guesses eye contact thank you it has nothing to do with your hand the next the next best advice I can give you the next best advice I can give you if you've ever been bowling and you know you're supposed to aim for those little arrows on the runway right you're not aiming at the pins you're going to aim for your partners whatever this is called I don't know if anybody's Anatomy knows what this piece between your finger your for finger and your thumb is that's what you're aiming for so you make eye contact hi I'm d Chelsea can we we can and we're going to go for do you see this connection this this is what you want this is what you want okay I don't want to see any airplanes coming in that's not fun for your person you're meeting I don't want any curtsies right we're not we're not Bridgerton okay we're going in we're making a solid first impression so find a partner great great great I love it I love it okay that's oh I see some real connection happening I love it does anybody actually know what this part of their hand is called is that anybody no okay someone Google it someone Google it and let us know okay thank you for humoring me I think that's a critical point that definitely takes us all the way back to basics because the handshake is the most basic Gest year but it is important it is your first impression so now that our arms are kind of worked up we've made our connections we've exchanged our pleasantries now we can kind of dive in yes and I hope you just met someone new if you haven't that's the whole point of this conference so please make sure that you're practicing your handshake on new friends I'm gonna mispronounce that the thar space thar thar t h n a r all right we all learned something today learn something brand new all right are we ready we're ready okay okay so I am I just want to say before we get started that I am quite lucky to be able to sit up here with d because not only is she just a wonderful person but she actually is one of my friends so I feel like I'm just biased enough to be able to tell you that she is the real deal um she's really loyal she's logical intelligent fun to around but most importantly she's really comfortable in her own experiences she's going to tell you that she's a great communicator and I'm going to confirm that for you but she's not just a great communicator because she's good on this stage or because she can walk into a meeting and command the necessary attention she's a really good communicator because she's incredibly thoughtful with her messages and her responses she is very firm in who she is and stands on that ground but she stays open to the lessons that are meant for her and I think that's what makes her such an amazing Communicator so there's a lot of wisdom to be gained from the perils she's going to share with us this morning um so yeah Back to Basics and Beyond D thank you Chelsea was so lovely don't let her oversell me I'm pretty great but I don't know that was really beautiful she is she's worthy of all that so much so I am so excited to be here for many reasons but I will share with all of you especially if you're new raise your hand if this is your first Mill Summit yeah oh oh I love this huge I love that okay uh raise your hand if this is like your fifth or or more okay okay I love that all in the back so I go way back with this organization with this event to the days where it was just an idea Charlie Vincent brought it to me at the brewhaha on Delaware Avenue um and some other folks and I started out as just an idea person on on the planning committee and then eventually got roped in or rather volunteered for uh being a a subcommittee co-chair and then a lead chair and then you know event volunteer I've been a fireside chat moderator I've been a panelist so to be a keynote is truly an honor but also just a full circle moment for me with this amazing event and I can't be more proud of the people who make this come to life who make it what it is it's really special so I thank all of you for being here um so Beyond intros which is what I just did uh so we were talking about networking and you know you hear words like elevator pitch or what have you so I I do want to talk about the elevator pitch I'm not a fan to be honest I know that's like an unpopular opinion um and I think you hear it a lot to have one ready what I really think you should have ready and this is very much a personal opinion is really the the elements of that elevator pitch who are you what's your why um what's your aim for being there and then what are you open as chel said what are you open to in that particular setting um because it can't be just your like honestly you're going to go say hi I'm a communicator connector community champion these are my skill sets this is what I bring to the table how are you today this is like not really a realistic interaction right so I encourage all of you to think about what it means to introduce yourself but then also how you receive and remember the introductions that you're also encountering in these kinds of scenarios I think we're told often that it's important for us to have that elevator pitch but one of the things that you had said and I loved was you know can we skip the elevator pitch and take the stairs because really it feels like the elevator pitch is a quick response to someone but if you're trying to build a longer relationship you're going to need to put more into it and really have the background is that right I love yes that's a great analogy did I come up with you came up with that I stole your words so yeah so you know you hear 30 second elevator pitch if you r to someone in the elevator what would you say how would you be memorable and I would love yes so let's skip the elevator let's take the long way let's take the scenic route and let's really get to know one another in that space of time where I remember who you are what you're about you remember that about me so that five days five years later you're top of mine when something triggers my memory of you so what you said that you need to have those things built in that are your why your reason for what beyond that elevator pitch that initial introduction what's the next move so networking that's why we're all here right so think about Beyond networking which networking is amazing I'm a huge proponent of networking I used to work for the Delaware State Chamber of Commerce I had the great PIV yes chamber of people uh unite so I um you know it was I was very lucky that that job had inherent networking built in it was literally my job to connect people um and sometimes when we hear that word networking it can be daunting it can be intimidating it's very uncomfortable it seems surface level it feels transactional and there is a lot of that that is happening and so to Chelsea's point about Beyond networking I would encourage everyone to be thinking about what's beyond networking for you in terms of relationship building right you're not going to recommend someone for a position or a role without knowing a little bit about them to where your reputation's no longer on the line right we're not going to uh roll a thumb for me I don't connect with people on LinkedIn unless I've met you so when will send a request it sits in my inbox if I know I'm going to meet you great but I will never accept you on LinkedIn because I don't know who you are and I don't know that if someone said oh I see you're connected with Chelsea Clark what can you tell me about her if I can't tell you about Chelsea we shouldn't be connected there um I can't vouch for you that feels like a really bold strategy in today's day and age I think everybody tends to Dive Right In but I I appreciate that approach and I love it when people connect with you at LinkedIn once we've met or connect and and offer a meeting for sure yeah so when you are putting together going back to just taking it back to basics right um we really as we were kind of talking about what does this theme and what does this really um what does Back to Basics mean for so many folks really it's about finding out those pillars so if we're going to do the elevator pitch and we're going to have our why we really need to figure out what we stand for right like what what are our pillars and our basics of who we are so when we were discussing things three things really came to mind for DA they kind like popped out of our conversation and stood out to me and that really is that personal brand the relationships and that authenticity and I think that you were able to take that and build your why which leads to that beyond the elevator getting to the stairs and then the networking afterwards what can we encourage folks to kind of dive into as far as developing what their why is and their Basics does every is everyone familiar with that concept what's your why is anyone not don't be shy okay so if every does everyone here have a why every does everyone here know their why yes we need CJ back with another board yeah okay if you don't know your why think about it okay I would encourage everyone to think about what that is and your why for me it is to whom much is given much is expected that is my why right I'm very blessed to have a lot of people in my life that's why I'm involved with so many mentoring programs um I have a lot of Time treasure and talent that have been bestowed upon me so that's why it's very important to me that involved with the community um advocacy legisl whatever it may be right so I your why is not going to look like my why your journey is not going to look like someone else's journey and you have to really figure out what's important to you um if any of you are a nonprofit you'll you'll know we try to stay away from Mission drift right let's not Drift from our y if it's pulling us away from our y then it's probably not the right thing for us whether that's a job or a volunteer opportunity or a person um so I think that's really critical sorry what was there was was there more to that that was it you got this so they I think often times people will get stuck after they kind of give that elevator pitch or they aren't sure what the next move is what happens if you do get stuck if You' kind of feel like you've run out of words in that moment and you're oh what do I say next how do I continue this conversation what would be that next move for you always have questions ready networking is is a skill it is a practice some of us are are good at it some of us are afraid of it but it is a skill that you can learn in practice so there is a strategy behind it so yes be prepared you guys have a script ready have a couple of like curveball questions you can ask if you're standing there like oh crap we now know each other's names oh God you know have something like even if it's just a basic boilerplate question that you go to like what's bringing you Joy these days what's something that's keeping you up at night what's a cool project you're working on these are very meaningful questions to a person who loves to talk about their why right no one loves to talk about I mean I this is very easy topic for me because it's about myself uh so people love to talk about themselves and what they're working on so you should have a few of those in your back pocket to keep things moving and the beyond for that too is that people remember you had a great conversation people remember that you were interested in them that you were pulling questions about them and you weren't just standing there talking about yourself so I think it's really critical Beyond just that networking piece that you're actually creating a meaningful connection I know there's a little bit of cliche to that concept of I don't always remember what somebody said or what their resume was but I remember how they made me feel if I was able to laugh if I was able to engage in that moment I think there's a lot to be said about building those skills to be able to just have a conversation with a person to find a connection point and I love the idea that you said everybody likes to talk about themselves we do right we want to be able to share our story so if somebody's asking us about our story that feels good in that moment and then we can continue to carry that forward so if you enter a room you have your canned questions in case you need them are there any other tips and tricks for how to maneuver a room when you're walking into a networking situation because it's can be anxiety inducing for a lot of folks so what can we tell them or give them tips do not be on your phone walking into a room oh okay you walk in you can make eye contact with anybody in that room it doesn't need to mean anything confidence matters fake it till you make it you don't feel comfortable that's okay no one needs to know that you don't feel comfortable right do not hang out on the fringes okay just get out there everyone's there for that reason so we're all in our own heads right it's like that Pro concept of like oh I'm at the gym everyone's watching me at the gym no one's watching you at the gym everyone's there to do their thing at the gym networking everyone is there to meet you they are there to meet you whether you know that or not because that's why they're there so we don't need to be we can drop that fear now I know that's easier said than done so much easier said than done yes and then you know I think you know the more you practice your handshake the more you know your why the more that you get out there and engage in these conversations like I said it's a muscle it's a skill as you get better in time then that is it's going to be so much easier so keep doing it put yourself in uncomfortable situations um phone handshake eye contact fringes open the circle open the circle that's something um that we've learned in leadership Delaware if you're chatting with someone and you kind of like see someone on your peripheral or you see someone that looks uncomfortable wouldn't you want someone to invite you into that conversation be that for other people so you know that's body language and being open and not and you don't even have to stop you don't to sit and talk like this so we're boxing you out the open the circle idea really you don't even have to stop the conversation to do that you can be engaging in a conversation and see someone on the periphery trying to walk in and it's just a matter of like stepping back and that open space makes people feel so much more welcome to if they're feeling skittish or concerned about walking up and interrupting a conversation that openness without it even calling attention to the fact that they may be uncomfortable you've now created that space for them to walk into absolutely and I think that that is Meaningful one thing that you said is don't hang out on the fringes but I think people do hang out on the fringes right that's what we do we gravitate toward the space that feels a little bit more comfortable but if you are anxious maybe going to talk to the people that are on the fringes absolutely another great strategy right yeah I think so you can go and pull them in or just let that be your jumping off point start there is this resonating with anyone okay how many people hang out on the fringes who are yeah you do I see your hands know I get it I get it I absolutely it's not easy to do that but I think sometimes it's one step in front of the other just walk around look for those places where maybe there is somebody who's got just a little bit of an open hole and in their Circle and just walk into it um sometimes it's just walking in and being a able to listen to what they're talking about and then introduce yourself and kind of take that but sometimes it's just one step at a time if you are going to hang on the fringes and you're not ready to go find somebody else on the fringes with you and talk to them because you both are probably looking to hone that skill so I think that that's a great way to continue that conversation and continue to build your own skills all right anything else from networking I'll just say the way that I look at it is Rel networking leads to relationship building I would not be where I am without that um the job that I currently have came from connections that I made in another job I wasn't saying my goal was not to work at himark love it there it was I never said when I grow up I'm going to be a director of comms for himark no that's not what happened literally took opportunities that were presented to me I did my best at those things I met people along the way thankfully people who are willing to invest in me I raise your hand if you have a great mentor yes yes raise your hand if someone saw your potential before you did absolutely and that is how I got where I am because someone said D you're good at this maybe you're not so good at this focus on this and I've taken all of that feedback um and and it is interesting when I look back on my career path every job I've had came from some level of a network or relationship connection not me blindly submitting a resume somewhere not to say that's not a very valuable and valid way to get a job but because people were willing to voucher me in those scenarios to the people hiring took me a lot further than what was on paper well that's true if you surround yourself if you can make an impression if you can start to build relationships which is one of those pillars that I know that you stand On by Building those relationships what you're creating is a group of individuals who are willing to talk about you in a good and positive way in rooms you are not in yet y right so if you are building those connections if you are making somebody remember who you are when you are not there yet somebody is saying hey Den crumrine is awesome have you had a conversation with her and that starts that process that's critical that's why networking and relationship building taking the stairs instead of just the elevator is so critical and conversely people remember when you talk poorly about others and so you may be speaking truths but when you are critical of the people around you or people in your circles people remember that too so I would just caution um you know who you're sharing that type of feedback with uh because you don't want to be known as the person who says negative things about other people um and that's you know a lesson that I've learned on over the years and have seen and am guilty of in certain circles so we all have to just keep moving along and learning and growing and being open to that constructive I was lucky enough again that someone gave me that constructive feedback early on in my career yeah I think that um who how we speak that that's what people tend to remember so you always want to make sure that you're being as positive as possible in those situations um anytime you have the opportunity to bend someone's ear I think that that's a critical thing to be able to do um so beyond networking if we've kind of established oursel as somebody who can work a room somebody who can feel comfortable enough to walk in to maybe step into a circle have a conversation start to build relationship what happens after that event that opportunity is done what's the next move I just want to say someone who has the Riz if you will there was a really great article in the Wall Street Journal actually recently called is does everyone know what Riz is I feel so old saying it okay it's just short for Charisma I'm a millennial this it's not my language she said that did not feel comfortable for her I didn't but it's an article that's that is entitled is rise the secret to getting ahead at work and it it was a really insightful piece on you know yes be good at what you're doing but also do you have the people skills do you have the in ability to connect with others to leave that impression to to get ahead at work or in life um so I think you know that's something to consider it's again a skill right your people skills are skills that you can learn and grow and improve on so you're not going to ever be stuck wherever you are with those skills I like that I still I don't feel comfortable using Riz either but I like the word Charisma and I here for it being an absolute tenant that people need to have um it's a skill it's learned and it comes time and lots of times with a lot of practice but it is something so we get to beyond that moment um what would be your next move if you leave an event and you are hey I really like that connection I want to connect with that person and either build a relationship with them I can see value in US I find a way where we could be mutually beneficial to each other what is your next move beyond that do you wait for them to reach out to you no okay I mean you wait if you don't really want to connect right I don't know you have to make those choices right sometimes you're in a season of yes sometimes you're in a season of no sometimes you really need a way whether or not that's a relationship you want to continue to cultivate or not um if it is something that was meaningful to me or a person that I admire from afar or that I want to emulate in some way I absolutely reach out the worst thing that's going to happen is they ghost you or which let's be honest we've all been ghosted we've all done ghosting it's not an unusual concept here right big deal so they either don't respond or they respond and say no which okay then you know um but I would say seven times out of 10 maybe even more than that they're going to want to meet with you again because they love to talk about themselves they want to share their experience and their expertise with you the fact that you're interested in that is really very flattering um and validating right and so I always air on the side of uh I don't know confidence in that space of people are going to want to connect back with you so I don't really feel like I need to wait unless they were going to gather some information but then even then 3 days was is there a three-day text Rule now but three days follow up hey we met at this event it what you said about this was really impactful and I'd love to hear more can we please connect don't spam them though Take a Hint like if they're kind of trying to be nice about not meeting with you um but I think that there's flattery in that so I you're right I would say seven out of 10 times is is I even minimal maybe because I think people want to know that what they said whatever conversation they had made an impression on somebody so if somebody reaches out and found impact in that they're going to want to say yes let's connect let's find a way to either have a conversation have a coffee and dig in a little bit deeper to you had a thought I saw it com who who's who's been afraid to reach out raise your hand just be honest okay now that's a new goal right you're going to reach out to that person you were afraid to reach out to because you are worthy of their time and they are excited to meet you so everyone that just raised their hand that's your takeaway today you're going to reach out to that person you were afraid to reach out to what do you think is holding back if anybody shouts it out is it the fear well let me ask this question is there a comfortable space to reach out is it phone is it email is it LinkedIn is there a space that feels more comfortable than others in person feels more comfortable I like that I feel like some people say no yes harder for them right you can if they're right there it is more authentic it is absolutely fear of interrupting a oh yes so love that Ka thank you for bringing that that is a good fear to have because everyone's time is valuable so if you are going to reach out make sure you're doing it with intent and meaning do not leave them hanging you supply the dates and times at are work right offer to work with their schedule this you should be fearful of interrupting their time so make sure it's valuable for both of you right that's a great Point cor thank you but you are worthy of people's time so don't make yourself small because you feel like you shouldn't be taking up that space and you know you miss aund of the shots you're not going to take so it never hurts to at least do the LinkedIn after you've met some body or an email or a conversation but I do love the idea of being prepared if you do get into a opportunity to go in and meet with somebody if you have one thing that I used to find that worked and you probably were in the same ask for 15 minutes of somebody's time that's a small ask Small Favors small asks seems palatable and manageable for somebody who may have a busy schedule if it goes well you're going to end up in a conversation that lasts well beyond that 15 minutes but if you're only asking for 15 minutes and your intention is to go in with a specific question or a specific ask that is Meaningful so it's that going back to that being prepared thing I think that that is critical one thing I would also encourage folks to do and I'm want to ask you what yours is but have a question an ending question that you want to ask that kind of puts them to help you take the next step one thing I always ask is who else would you recommend I connect with that's an easy one because it forces them to be thinking about this conversation specifically this person in front of me who would be their next person to connect with and I think that that's a great way but have something that you want to that take away that question at the end of if you have 15 minutes conversation if you have a coffee if you have a whole lunch whatever you end up finding in an engaging conversation with somebody you wanted to connect with have that asking question love what's yours that's a great strategy mine is is there something that I can help you with today oo is there someone you need to connect with is there a project you're working on is there a recommendation I can make how can I help you well then we would be in a great conversation yeah right okay um so we talked about the idea of personal branding and the Beyond elevator pitch right you're taking the stairs we're also talking about Beyond networking what are some tenants that help us get in comfortable being uncomfortable in those situations because your networking is critical to building your personal brand and how people see you and the relationships that you're going to need long term Beyond that it's diving into your authenticity right yes who are you beyond that Beyond self so kind of I guess counterintuitive a lot of my identity my personality is wrapped up in the others in my life right my family my friends my community and so the third thing we will be talking about is beyond self um how giving back and giving your best begets gains I really Workshop that guys okay so that would I was working really hard on these Beyond so beyond self it again like I mentioned my why is to whom much is given much is expected um it might be your family it might be your career your why might be focused on something that's different and that's perfectly fine as long as it's really not yourself you know we all hear these sayings We rise by lifting others The Tide Rises all boats I believe in that 1,000% and so what I have found is that in giving myself back to the community giving back to others giving my time my treasure my talent because it's not about money right it's not just about like making a donation sometimes your expertise is needed as wanted but also sometimes those experiences and opportunities allow you to grow into new spaces learn new skills meet new people and so thinking about where you can plant yourself um to improve the world around you whether that's by mentoring someone or volunteering with a nonprofit whatever it may be serving on a board um these things that really grow your whole person um while also benefiting all those around you is something that is critically important and I certainly would again not be where I am without those kind of extracurricular if you will experiences that have helped shape my actual career path does that make sense it does make sense but can you elaborate tell us a little bit about those meaningful things that define who you are that have allowed you to get on the path that you're on okay so um I don't Andre was very sweet to read my whole bio which I'm so sorry that you had to sit through um but yeah so there was a point in time where I said I was in a season of yes I was on like 12 boards and committees that's too much guys don't don't do that don't you get a around like if you can't list them all on one hand you're probably too thin um but all of them have have led me or taught me something right and so I think one of the things that comes to mind is a very long-term unteer experience that I've had with exceptional care for children is anyone familiar with exceptional care yeah okay so ECC amazing if you have this is a Shameless plug for ECC um they are a skilled pediatric nursing facility in Newark Delaware they care for children with technological dependencies it is truly an inspirational amazing place where these kids are just resilient and happy and love people and the people around them and you see some nursing staff working at like this incredible capacity um of heart and skill that are making these kids lives better and so I started volunteering with them back in 2008 I not gonna I can't do that math right now but um it's been a long time it's been a long time it's been a long time and at one point in time and what I did was I sat in a room with a bunch of the kids before bed we just hung out um and that's not going to be for everybody I understand that so find the thing that works for you and one day the volunteer coordinator came to me and said we have a a resident child who really needs some extra attention he's very bright very precocious would love for you to sit with him and really explore his interests and I was like I I don't have any background in intellectual disabilities I don't have any background in autism or working with kids or education or anything like that we know but we think he'd be really great for him this involved like a huge background check like all these things I was like I feel so underprepared for this um and she just kept encouraging she's like you're going to be great at this he's gonna love you so Andrew is his name we met he was four years old Andrew was non-verbal not potty trained GBE fed for those of you who don't know what that is stomach tube so he could not eat um a lot of different challenges for this kid he was actually a conjoined twin and his twin also was at ECC I will spare the the long story if you want to know more I'm happy to talk about it but fast forward to today and I'm Andrew is actually in partially in my care um and and in the care of a friend of mine who I also met at exceptional care and so he will be 18 at the end of this month which is really hard for me he was four when we met and I've watched that child learn to eat learn to walk learn to talk um become incredibly independent and and intelligent and hilarious um that is a storyline I could not have guessed or foreseen with all the hints with all of the foreshadowing in the world I never would have guessed that I would be where I am right now with this kid who has absolutely changed my life because I was open to someone who saw potential in me before I saw it in myself and I am a better person for IT um I have learned more about the Health Care System about well maybe not I work for a healthare system but I've learned more about um disability and autism and special care um I've been to neor more times than I care to count and it has opened my eyes to A Whole New World but this kid has become such a huge part of my life that I I can't IM I really can't imagine my life without that that's a pretty intense story but but it it just go one you said you never know what's for you so you have to be open to things and I think your openness to this situation and I love that you tied back in the idea of somebody seeing something in you I think we all been associate that with just professional situations and that's critical but it can happen personally as well and they saw something in you that was life-changing and allowed you to be open and it also helped become I think a guiding star for you who you are and how you approach most of your professional decisions and personal ones correct no not an understatement whatsoever yeah no he he's been big so the whole idea of that is stay open because you never know what's for you so if you do stay open if you open circles and allow for additional Connections in your life whether it's in a professional setting or you find yourself volunteering or getting involved with an organization that pulls to you there's so many opportunities that could be for you you would have never planned for yourself and can make a world of difference in your life and I'll make that more full circle as I'm sitting here thinking about tying back to relationships relationships that I cultivated people who invested in me and made a point to connect with me years prior to any of this were absolutely people who I picked up the phone and called when the situation with Andrew um uh to kind of backtrack a little bit he had left ECC was living with his biom mother things fell apart and then he came back to Delaware to be in the custodianship of another person I was calling Val long Hurst who had connections to ECC and who I had met through my time at the chamber I was calling Rita langra the former Secretary of Health who was part of the high Mark family and part of um the work that I do now and was a tremendous guide for me I absolutely reached out to folks in leadership Delaware who had family law background and who had connections to the state and when we had a Medicaid issue or social security issue I called Senator Coon's office because I know the staff there and they were able to connect me with the paperwork I needed to get that straight I never thought I was going to need to call someone about any of these things but because years and years and years of these relationships existed I was able to navigate a very difficult time so that's I think again a very extreme story but I I I think it matters I think it applies well and also you never know when you're going to need these relationships so it's not always it's good to build them regardless but even just to be able to always be putting your best foot forward because you never know when those moments are going to come up that you're going to need to tap back into these relationships that you're starting to cultivate and build um so one other thing that I think that we should hit on and it's something that you had said to me that is a tenant for you but it's don't be so well-rounded this is one of DA's things and I think it's brilliant and I want you to share yeah the story behind it the idea behind it and how we can take that out of here because I think it's a great takeaway yeah has anyone raise your hand if you've done any of those like personality tests the color insights any of those right raise your hand if you've done the um Gallup strengths finder yeah awesome okay so I would love to give credit where it's due because I did not come up with this myself but I was talking with someone I believe it was on the cusp of getting my results and the strength finder um and if you're not familiar with that one the premise is that you have strengths to hone and weaknesses to be aware of um and so the the kind of concept is don't be so well-rounded you don't have a point right okay don't be a circle be a star and I can't take credit for it but I love it and you know I grew up at a time where are my Millennials at my like '90s babies yes oh my gosh all we were ever told was be well-rounded get your community service be an AP be good at math be good at English be good at Social Studies be good at history play 17 Sports burn yourselves out before you hit 30 absolutely the right thing to do go to college but also have an internship and get a job while you're at it like all these things and I did I grew up in this very kind of idea that I had to be good at everything that is unrealistic pressure on people and so as I've grown and learned what I loved about that concept is not only can I shine I'm going to be a star I have my five points or seven maybe you've got seven maybe you have three I don't know you've got your points right your strengths and if you think about a star here's another another like item I don't know the word of um is it a verticy the space between the points of a star anybody math anybody geometry here the th the th the ther of the star it leaves space for other people's points it leav space for other people to shine there is room enough in this giant sky that is our world for everyone to be a star Your Shine does not take away from someone else's shine their shine does not take away from yours so don't be a circle be a star be confident and love and hone your strengths and the weaknesses are where other people can step in and be their best selves okay we all have space for this so don't be a circle be a star I love that does that resonate with anybody else and I feel like when we had this conversation previously um I had not heard that I had not thought of it from that perspective because I again I was told well rounded do 100 things so I love that I think that that's a great takeaway um how about any other Perils of wisdom you want to share before we open it up for questions or thoughts from anyone out here just give your oh here's this is not mine either a friend of mine Clara matui she's with the slice Communications Group shared this with me it is so hard in a fastpac world it's so hard when we're always on to the next thing to stop and celebrate the Small Things um and she shared an idea with me that I really loved called sticker moments so yes when you have a big win when you finish that project when you have a big milestone please literally stop what you're doing and take a moment to soak that in that is what's going to keep you going through all the hard things ahead because we know they're coming and then her thing was every day she would sit down and even if there wasn't like a big moment there was a sticker moment so she's got a little chart again I think my 90s baby's Nostalgia we love a chart we love a we love a little game where we're like yeah we we completed the ring right or whatever little nuggets we love to to see she has a little calendar she puts a sticker on there and she says to herself my sticker Moment For Today Was X it could be that you made it through it could be that you showed up here today and you didn't want to it could be that you had that hard conversation with a friend or a parent or a colleague whatever it may be find a sticker moment I think that's really meaningful to applaud ourselves to celebrate ourselves and to recognize that we're putting in hard work I need to go buy stickers yeah like actual stickers so that you can be meaningful and intentional about putting it down and saying this is my sticker moment for the day I think that's great thank you um so I want to open it up to any questions thoughts anything that you want to ask do we have some out there yes okay I'm coming around I'm I'm going to take a walk yeah they I want to make sure they have a okay yeah Chelsea's amazing everyone give Chelsea Clark a hand I'm so thankful to have her as a friend hi my name is Maggie hi Maddie hi and my question is as someone that is newer to their career and to networking in general you said that one of the things is you can say how can I help you what do you say for someone who doesn't feel like they have those connection yet to give to other people like what could I give as someone that's newer where I I don't really have anything outside of myself to give don't underestimate yourself first but second the way that you just framed that I think it's perfect you're meeting a seasoned or maybe someone that you know maybe you don't know that but they're seasoned professional and you say hey I'm new to this what's the best advice that you can give me in this scenario or we just maybe you just interacted for 30 seconds you can ask them how could I have made this more meaningful as I grow in my networking Journey people are going to love to share that with you and help you grow as they've grown in their career Journey for sure is there's nothing wrong with asking for feedback and help that's I like that asking for feedback and that may be a great point because somebody who is more experienced can say Hey you know this is maybe the better question you could have asked or this is something that I would recommend you work on and if they're willing to share that with you receive that all right who else has a question oh I've got them all over there place okay I'm making my way around should I should I also be doing this no you shouldn't you got to stay up there you're the key L walking for you I don't mind on the ground kind of G my name is Lei Aran I have um moved away from the corporate world 20 years congrats so I went open my own business due to co I closed it and I'm going back to the corporate world the professional world so I'm behind in the technology fund like the computer emails um but I have very strong accounting background so I work in the office where people have been there 20 30 year or 10 year so I am struggling to have my coworker to share their knowledge so I asked could you show me how to do this I don't how to do could you tell me and then to the point that they say leave me alone don't ask me more question how how do you handle situation like that I am so sorry that that is your experience we should never gatekeep information especially when someone's willing to ask for it um I think out of spitefulness may God forgive me I would go figure it out myself um and then my second step to that would then be to be so ready when they need help from me to help them I think if you have some folks at your work um supervisors or other teammates that can help you navigate that thank you for sharing that was a that was a really beautiful moment of vulnerability and asking that question so I acknowledge that um I would I would try to find some folks that can support you and advocate for you in that space But if that's going to be their attitude then you're going to have to find that um education outside of them and rely on yourself but I would I think be ready to help them because they're going to need it Google we're going to Google things that's my number one when I don't have an answer and I need to find it um two this may be a lesson for everybody in the room that you never know what somebody's story is and why they're asking questions and where they're coming from so we may not be able to fix your co-workers currently but we can adjust all of our attitudes in this room to understand better that when somebody comes to us and needs help sometimes it's worth taking a minute being like yep you know what I want to lend that hand because it's helpful to them but it also leaves a positive impression and let's think about when we do good for other people it feels good make sure to find her if you have that skill set please if you're willing to help her out with some of that technology that's what this is about absolutely I believe you had a question I'm gonna sneak through here don't mind me excuse me hi again my name is Evan um I had a question related to uh networking and kind of after you've made that connection a lot of people will say oh keep in touch like let's connect on LinkedIn in what's kind of the like etiquette and expectations with that how do you actually maintain that connection with a whole bunch of people so that you know years down the line if you needed them in an unexpected way kind of like in your story where it doesn't feel like oh well I've never heard from this person in years so why are they asking me for help so kind of where's that line how do you stay in touch um what's you know appropriate I want to give a shout out to Evan it's Thomas right Evan and Thomas here they're with the horn entrepreneurship program they are about to launch a business they're so impressive I just got to meet them last week if you have not gotten involved with the horn entrepreneurship program and you want to be I highly encourage it I didn't think I had the expertise to support them but I've done a few things with that group and it is just an absolutely amazing experience to see what these students are learning and where they're going to take our entrepreneurial um landscape it's so impressive so shout out to you guys is anybody else here from your cohort oh there's a couple yes okay find these find these students and network with them they're so incredible so personally I don't care you've reached out you email me hey to n it's Evan from horn I have a question can we connect absolutely fine um I've had students reach out to me years later months later it I'm I will not give out my contact information if I don't want to be contacted I don't want to speak for everyone on that but that's generally how I view it any other questions I think that's a great point and sometimes I our networks can feel like they've gotten really big and you're not sure you may feel like oh gosh am I reaching out five minute asks is a great way to do that if you can ask a five minute favor oftentimes that's an easier way to open up a door for somebody if it's not something too big because if it becomes too big of an ask and you have never spoken to them or made a deeper connection it may not be something that they'll even entertain but if you start with a five minute favor that seems to I think be helpful sometimes and I want to share one quick story too with the horn um and this is not a this is a self again this the point of networking I got to meet one of the students from the horn program and in talking with him one of his actual biggest issues was not like his entrepreneurial Journey it was that he was um struggling to find a Visa and help with staying in this country to continue his education I don't know anything about that but I know people who know people about like who know about that and ultimately because of the people that I have made connections with who also have connections we were able to get that student the paperwork and the guidance he needed to continue his education here that's a win for me I didn't do anything someone else had the expertise and the connections but to be that conduit is I think for me is another reason that I do what I do and that I am such a big proponent of relationship building absolutely that's a great example um what we have time for one more before they're gonna boot us off cor all right cor what's up so one of the important things about making connections and networking with people is you know go going out and actively seeking those connections but the other part is signaling to the universe and signaling to the people in your network that you're open to providing support to being my my question is how do you like what advice can you give to people to like how do you signal to people like how do you make the people who know you think about you when they have a problem love that cor thank you um you stumped me I don't know I hope it is my hope that my presence is a welcoming one and that in my doing this right I'm open to networking I'm open to supporting um I think there's a lot to do with again we talked about Charisma we talked about being open to opportunity I think there's just you don't I mean you can just say I would love to help you at any point in time please call me um but I think there's just a way about you that you can carry yourself that is saying like people are going to take from you that energy that interaction and think I don't know I I'm really struggling with this because I'm not really sure how to answer you I think the impression that you leave speaks volumes right so you always want to be carrying yourself with an air of I am open and I'm willing to help um also I would say that if you're struggling and you feel like that's not coming naturally find places that call to you and get involved because if you can't seem to just build that relationship quickly with people because some people just don't have that's a gift and it doesn't come easy but if you don't have that getting involved in organizations whether it's a nonprofit or professional development organization getting involved in those places where you can build deeper connections with networks within those organizations start to help you Branch out and then people start to see you as core is great at helping with this she was wonderful to work with she'd be a great person and next time somebody reaches out to D and is like I need help with ex da served on a committee with you and now she's like core is your girl she's going to be your person and then you start to build that reputation of being able to do that I think that's great I so I think it goes back to that long game right long game mindset of when you're asked for help help right be consistent be reliable because then people will say oh my gosh Chelsea helped me with this oh my gosh cor showed up to this and be visible to Chelsea's point do stuff you can't just sit at your office or in your home office all the time and then expect to have these amazing connections right I know that sounds silly but you have to be seen you have to be heard that's and I'll just say that don't be afraid to speak up there are no stupid questions there really aren't and if someone makes you feel stupid that's on them ask questions say your mind because a lot of times and I'll share there have been times in my corporate life where I'm sitting at a meeting thinking to myself I must not know something right I have this question I must have missed the beginning of the meeting I must have missed the conversation where they answered this and I feel very uncomfortable to speak up about it nine times out of 10 when I've asked the question hey guys why are we doing it this way or hey guys is there a reason that we are approaching it from this perspective no one's ever asked the question and so you can be the person that asked the question in the worst case scenaries you ask it and they answer you and now you know right so don't be afraid again don't be afraid to take up space don't be afraid to use your voice be a star be a star be a star a star thank you all for coming D final closing thoughts other than be a star no but thank you so much and and do reach out thank you for being here [Music]