[Music] it's been an amazing week hometowns was a really big turning point for me each of these relationships grew so much this week because these guys were able to express how they were feeling to me I really do feel so strongly for each of these four men and that's why tonight's grow ceremony she going to be so hard probably going to be one of the hardest nights that I've had so [Music] far oh speak of the devil I've never seen Jeremy so happy I know what's his deal the guys are meeting up one last conversation before we head into the rose ceremony tonight these guys have been my best friends for the last few weeks so as much as like we are competing for Jen's heart like we've developed some really great relationships here so it's going to be nice to catch up ah so which one of you is going home yeah it's not like any of us just like dislike each other so it's like cool to sit here and hang out but there's like the elephant in the room you're like there is a big elepant this is the last time we're going to be together like besid for Rose yeah yeah you had a good Hometown I had a great homeown we I think we all had a great Hometown I definitely went into it super nervous but my mom and my brother they both made good points one thing that they made note of was this was like the first time I walked through the door with a girl where I was just cool calm and Collective and like just happy about it and she was like that's the biggest thing that I noticed about you was how normal you were with this girl and so right now like with the family involved I get to a place in my head where I want to know like I want to know if I'm the one like I don't want it's it's kind of tough right now to not know you I loved it cuz I'm like oh this is what like normal day could be like right and I felt like very good leaving the hometown maybe I should be more nervous but I feel like very very confid we're all at peace right I mean I am at peace with how things are I really wanted Clarity and I got a lot more of it that I wanted and there's just no reservations on it just sitting down with everyone I think that everyone's feeling really confident about their hometowns the guys seem like they you know have given the opportunity that they would get down on a KNE and like not have you know any reservations about that I mean I had a a lot of good moments where I felt really sure yeah especially with her meeting my family and meeting my friends it was kind of that little Clarity that I needed too so you know as happy and as excited and as optimistic as I want to feel like I just kind of feel like I'm like behind right now I'm like trying my best to like understand why I had my hometown with my sister and like a bunch of my friends I think I went into it looking for like Clarity and I think I walked out of it with some clarity um but yeah like I think like kind of just where I'm at like I think that I have like maybe I'm like like have reservations or like hesitations about like how I'm feeling you know I think I'm I'm afraid like for for me to go into an engagement like there's some things I need to to to feel unapologetically in my heart for me to like get down on a knee and know that it means everything that is true me um yeah that's where it's kind of where I'm at with everything I don't know if anyone's feeling like similar but I like I don't have any more reservations for her like it's I've it's all out there now you know like I look like this is where I am this is what I want in life and I can see you there honestly like it's like this feeling of like shame of like not being there yet like what are what are those guys doing that I'm like incapable of right now it does make me feel like there's like something wrong with me che che us going into this row ceremony there's no reason that I should be feeling the way that I'm feeling whenever it's just her and I like the world is is very small it's just it's just us and that's all I'm thinking about and I'm loving every second of it but Jen deserves to have guys here that are certain it's scary that something that's bringing so much like good and happiness into my life could could be gone