just talked to my mom a lot and she she really was well my mom and my family they really was the reason you know I've had a lot of dark days and you know just to be able to touch that grass is it's a big blessing man you know and I I've been through a lot bro like like for real like my fault I've been through a lot bro so take your time yeah I've been through a lot bro that's all I can really say but I never gave up you know a lot of people would have gave up but I never gave up