My Confession okay I confess I did it I admit it I did it all of it all of it I did it I admit it in 2016 I didn't run to win I just wanted Free Press so I could build my Moscow Tower and show my power I did it to impress these gents and ladies since the 80s I've been flossing like that some run for president to serve but I ran to keep my pockets real fat then I had to adjust when the people saw me as their savior because I say the racist tastes things they think and they know anyone else in any other job would be fired for that exact same behavior plus they wanted a pilot with no experience flying the plane so I confess I lit the fires and we're dying in Flames I confess to making less than no progress I confess to cheat and using Wikileaks in 2016 I confess I've never been in a competition where I've tried to win clean in 16 almost half the country wanted a pilot with no experience flying the plane plus they don't like a woman that's tough and Bill cheating on her of course meant that she was to blame four years later it's harder to explain half the country is insane they want a pilot with experience crashing the plane to bring America more pain and crash it again to make America sick again I confess the presidency was just the best way for me to get my attention huh I confess even if you were my own son I couldn't care less if you live or you die I confess to not caring about the deaths of your moms and your pops I confess I only noticed their deaths cuz the stock market dropped I confess to profitting off the presidency with tons of self-dealing they let you do it when you're famous just like the rape victims never really blame us for cheating on our wives and forcing them to provide sex ual healing yeah it seems almost half the country voted for a demon sometimes my victims complain but I just pay them hush money from my campaign sometimes the 5 Seconds of Shame still gets out because the women want their 15 minutes of fame I confess I've blackmailed more countries and people than you've even heard about I confess I'd stay right here 40 more years if you wouldn't escort me out I'd build a wall around the White House and surrounded by alligators in a moat and I'd get my follow followers to reins slave black people and bring more white Masters in votes now you can finally see when I meant America was Great America was great when the majority wanted freedom and white racist men like me set aside that wish and decided your fate I use lawsuits like condoms to help me stay free and stay safe you'll see it is such a waste when I still catch AIDS after I lose every case speaking of AIDS I need to call Putin to seek asylum in Russia cuz you got Fame like me and you go to the penitentiary all the inmates will rush you in the end I have no remorse for the stuff that I've done blame Obama seeing a black president is what made me run privately I'm not sure if it was my ignorance or poor character that led me to ruin first but publicly I'll always blame China and the plague cuz before Co hit I inherited a depression from Obama and Biden and created the best economy in the history of the entire universe and yes the Press is still your enemy when they announce Biden's President elect remember to tell them it's me remember I'm the chosen one it's my destiny so I confess I confess I confess and that's just the first first page of my 50 page confession speech so what do you think boss oh you said I need to write a concession speech and I paid so much taxpayer money for this confession speech