(Tamara): Okay, when the decision was made to swim competitively, you all had to realize that there are, for the most part, no local competitions, but, in fact, it started off directly with the International German Championship in 2002.
(Kirsten): Yeah, it's weird. (Tamara): That's weird, that's true, but it's just the way it is. If there is nothing else, then you have to do it. And how was it? (Kirsten): At first that was too much of a challenge, I thought. My psyche was playing a little trick on me because I thought, first, what are you doing here? You're not that disabled. Very arrogant, I know. I'm not proud of that either, but that's how I thought back then. I had to be classified into a start class. We do not start in the paralympic area only separated into males and females, but also into start classes. So, that it's relatively fair in the respective races and I had an appointment. There is always a committee of doctors, therapists and swim coaches, so they know what they are talking about - at best they should. They observe your movements against gravity on both land and in the water and classify you accordingly. And the appointment was pushed back again and again and I sat there and saw different forms of handicaps: crawling, rolling, running, accompanying (because blind) and other things. And I always thought, "oh God, oh God, you don't want to be here, you want to go home." And there was not the first time, but one of the few times in my life, a moment where I thought, "no, you're not doing that now, you're backing away from this." There have always been people in my life who have given me such a kick in the ass or in the ribs at such moments and said, "hey, you've prepared for this now, you've come this far and you're not going to quit and back away right at the last hurdle." And that wasn't the friend with whom I had the accident, that was someone else, and he said. He was a policeman or he still is. And, he said, "I'm on vacation now. I drove all the way here. The hotel is mega expensive. You're going to go through with this." And then I did it. And that was like a reawakening, like a rebirth. I realized I am still Kirsten, I still have that adrenaline and competitive spirit. I also want to prove what I can do and how much I have worked for it, and if that is even better than others, then that is the kick I need. (Tamara): Exactly, you actually swiftly became the German champion. (Kirsten): Yes, not in everything, but yes.
(Tamara): One title is enough. And in your book I could read, you wrote, "the world in the water was back to normal." (Kirsten): It was fine in the water, yes. (Tamara): So there was, so to speak, your life again at a point that you could deal with and that seemed really worth living. (Kirsten): Right.
(Tamara): That was eleven years after the accident, where you say you found your personal way. Eleven years sounds like a long time, and you said earlier that you wished it had been shorter. And it was a very hard, a very exhausting time. I know that with many things it is simply different how people cope with things, but I also meet people again and again who think that everything should go faster. It doesn't matter if what happened to you happens to someone else, which, of course, is an incredibly big cut in life and probably one of the worst things that can happen to you, or just heartbreak or you lose a loved one. Many people are always of the opinion, "yeah, come on. It's been a year, now. It's got to be good." Have you encountered something like that and if so, how did you deal with it? (Kirsten): Well, I came across it very, very much later. Not at all in the situation I was in after the accident, or with the way I dealt with it, but, when I lost people I love, my brother and my mom. And I can only say, those are just stupid people who say things like that. For there is no right or wrong in grief. You have to experience it for yourself and unfortunately you have to live it out. And you can only hope that you will always have people at your side who will support and accompany you in some way. But, there is no Marshall Plan and no recipe for a certain number of months, year or a way you do it. And I can only say... (Tamara): And with some things it is actually never quite good. So I would say, after eleven years you had the feeling, I have now found my way again and I can go on now. Nevertheless, you will probably have thought again in the years to come, "Jesus, why did this have to happen to me?"
(Kirsten): I still have that today. (Tamara): That is quite normal. In my childhood I also experienced something very bad. But, it has nothing to do with me physically. But, I am still working on that today. So, it is normal for me, but there are really many people who see it differently. I think that is a pity, but unfortunately you have to live with it. (Kirsten): Yes, one can only hope that they are at some point taught something better, which again means that they must suffer such a blow of fate, because then they really, I believe, feel and realize what that means. But, for me these are smart-asses, excuse me, but the world doesn't need smart-asses. This is the case in medicine, in the working world in general, among friends and colleagues. You have to give everyone his or her right. This also has something to do with inclusion, to live it out in the moment, as long as one does not harm anyone else, that must be clearly stated. But, even today, and especially when it comes to doctors, when they have studied and have professorships, that is all well and good, they are certainly competent in their field, but a healthy doctor, who stands at 180 cm (5'9) in front of me and is master of his leg function, master of his bladder function, please don't tell me, "Mrs. Bruhn, you were lucky, it could have been much worse." That's not appropriate. (Tamara): I think that's also something, when somebody says something like that, that many people think they are encouraging you because it could be worse. But, I believe that sometimes less is more in that situation, i.e. saying less and just accompanying and being there and quasi enduring the pain with the person. This probably helps a lot more than telling someone that it could be worse. That doesn't help you in this situation at all.
(Kirsten): No. (Tamara): From 2002 on you had twelve or thirteen really successful years. I have to read this list now. I couldn't remember it all by heart. 34 medals at European and World Championships and Paralympic Games, 104 German championship titles as well as 65 world and 76 European records. That's really a lot, especially for a period of 13 years. I think it's an incredible amount. Were you ever anywhere else besides in the swimming pool? (Kirsten): In bed.
(Tamara): Alternately, exactly, and the bed was probably next to the swimming pool. In retrospect, can you name one or two moments, especially outstanding moments, from that time? (Kirsten): Yes, I think in 2003, when I was first actually a member of the German national team of the Paralympic swim team in Edmonton, Canada. We had the Canadian Open, where I actually swam my first official world record on 100 meters breaststroke. And, with that I had also sealed the deal for my ticket to Athens 2004, which was for me... Yes, that was bizarre. A dream can become reality. In a way, that's the way it was. And when I was on my way to Athens with the team a year later, we were sitting in the plane, a team mate of mine who was sitting next to me said, "Kirsten, you do realize that we are flying to Greece now?" I responded, "yes, I may be blond, but I'm aware that Athens is in Greece." "Yes, but where did you have your accident?" But, I don't associate the accident with Greece. Greece can't help what happened on the island of Kos. And I would never say now that I don't like Greeks, for God's sake. So I really try not to be the person who generalizes. That is very, very important to me. This is not always easy for me, I am also only a person who has experiences and emotions, but with these things, I did not think about it at all. But, the moment the others started talking about it, it started to come up a bit.
(Tamara): But sweet that he thought of it. (Kirsten): Yeah, I thought it was kind of funny, too. Not funny, in that moment I was a little ...
(Tamara): It shows that he was interested in it, in you and your well-being. (Kirsten): In retrospect, I learned that there was actually one of them who said at the beginning, "what is she doing here? She has no business here." But I think he did like me then. Yes, but that was a moment when I was thinking, "now you can somehow turn an inner negative back to something good." And when I had succeeded in doing so with every single competition I had, I was able to win a medal and gold, too. It was the first time for me not to have a doping test in training, but really after such an exorbitant experience. And then, of course I couldn't use the bathroom. Girls can always use the bathroom.
(Tamara): But then not. And then at some point the referee came and said, "Kirsten, the award ceremony is at half past midnight, the international media will all be there. We can't postpone the award ceremony because of you, you have to watch." Then the team doctor said, "stand up." I had drunk six of those, I think, half liter Powerade light blue up until that point. When I see the stuff today, I immediately get the taste back on my tongue. And, I wasn't even standing completely yet, so I had to go to the toilet, luckily. And we also did everything quite properly. Then I put on the German national team suit, which is all described in the program, what you have to wear and how. You are not allowed to take mascots. I was allowed to take my teddy and... I was not allowed to take all that, but ok. Then I straightened my hair a little bit again, I know that today, too, but I didn't succeed, but it doesn't matter and then I thought, "you're not going to cry." "Why should you cry now? It is something positive and you don't cry." The anthem hadn't even started yet, ...
(Tamara): And you are an emotional person. (Kirsten): I had already started crying. And, the stupid thing is, it doesn't look good on TV when you cry. But it was not because of the emotions, I urgently needed to go to the bathroom. That was the revenge of the doping control and then I somehow had faith, that if now the national hymn is almost over, I can quickly go somewhere.
(Tamara):But that was nothing. (Kirsten). No, because then comes the so-called "mixed zone", where international reporters ask you the same questions for what felt like an hour. But, you also have to make use of every microphone and sometimes even in English. And, when the mid-section of your body presses and tortures you, and then to concentrate and sound reasonably smart in English, that was a challenge I will never forget in my life. (Tamara): Funny.
(Kirsten): Funny today, not funny then.
(Tamara): Not at all in those days. Exactly, I think it was probably very special to win the gold medal in the same discipline for the third time in 2012, I don't think anybody has ever managed to do that before. This was certainly something very special, especially since you, I suppose, knew from the very moment you arrived that you would not be going to the Paralympic games again. (Kirsten): Yes, I didn't really keep that in mind myself and that was good, otherwise I would have put myself under even more pressure. My personal pressure is already immense anyway. But the one time or the other, while preparing for the competition, either the head of department came or even the coaches came and said, "Kirsten, if you can do this, that would be so bomb." So, at some point I really put it into words that I resent that, because that is not helpful, but rather a block for me. Fortunately, this was also accepted, but I am also extremely glad that it worked out. To be honest, I wouldn't have even known that if I hadn't been told. I'm not the type who'd go through the records or something... (Tamara): No, but there are always people who tell you that.
(Kirsten): But promptly, and especially reporters, who then of course think they have something thrilling, but fortunately I was spared.
(Tamara): Yes, very well.