FREE AUDIOBOOK! Popular Small-town Romcom Series. (The 101 on Love) #freeaudiobooks

the 101 on love good girls don't come last written by Jennifer Young Blood narrated by Lori West prologue the tension in the room is thick enough to cut he is nervous as I've ever seen him my heart skips skitters and trips over itself when he gets down on one knee he whips out a small velvet box from his pocket and peers up at me with soft hopeful eyes this is really happening my mind screams how many times have I dreamt of this moment now that it's here I can hardly breathe there's classical music playing in the background but I can hardly hear it because it's drowned out by the frenzied pounding of my pulse my gaze flits around the room he thought of everything a gourmet dinner roses candles the great philosopher Evelyn K Donaldson also known as my mother often says if you think you're in love with someone but you're not sure then you're actually not in love for if you're truly in love you'll feel it clear to the Bone am I in love tears spring to my eyes yes I'm in love and it cuts me clear to the Bone just like Mom said likely Catherine Donaldson he says solemnly will you marry me two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler long I stood thanks Robert Frost for that high defin visual am I sorry I can't travel both heck no there's only one road I want to travel I want it with my entire heart I bring my hands together and place them over my mouth as the Waterworks start he Graces me with a noble Smile as if to say it took me long enough but I finally came around he's right it took him almost as long to reach his decision as it took me to reach mine blly he prompts his expression pleading I love you a knock sounds at the door this is followed by a persistent pounding that rattles the windows he looks past me are you you expecting someone I glance back over my shoulder as the door bursts open chapter 1 3 weeks earlier it's for a good cause I remind myself for the upth time skate is going to owe me big time for this one the only reason why I agreed to participate in this wretched Bachelorette auction is to help bring awareness to Ski's outreach program which she started to help underprivileged adolescents who need a place to go while their parents are at work sk's program isn't merely a daycare but more of an activity center where teenagers enjoy hanging out I admire ski for her humanitarian efforts granted ski is no Mother Teresa she's more like Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit whose predictable life was disrupted when Gandalf showed up at his door and set him off on his Grand Adventure except in Ski's case her Gandalf came in the form of a grumpy old man named Henry who took a lyen to skate and left her his fortune with the express instruction to use it to help other people to sk's credit she's honoring Henry's wishes and doing all that she can to help members of the community I wish someone would have told me that when Henry set ski down her altruistic path that I'd be on the hook too normally I don't mind helping but this auction has me squirming like I'm food for a colony of Fish Fire ATS for a while there skate and I could commiserate about being the only two in our friend group who were still single now that skate is blissfully married to her best friend and my brother Jasper I'm all by my lonesome it's a sad dreary place to be wonk wonk Debbie Downer alert God that sounded pathetic okay my life isn't all that bad despite my own problems I'm thrilled beyond words that skate and Jasper finally got together and I'm proud to say that I helped the cause by playing m maker I was super invested in ski and Jasper's relationship to the point where I got steaming mad at ski for a while there when it didn't seem like she was going to own up to her feelings about Jasper a humorless grin tugs at my lips as the psychology professor in me pipes in arguing that my getting wrapped up in skate and Jasper's relationship was a form of transference I have a bad habit of living vicariously through other people wanting to help them find their happily ever after because my path towards that destination has been blocked by an insurmountable obstacle despondency clutches me in a tight grip as I think of Reed a fellow professor at the college where I teach Reed teaches English and literature a deep longing stirs through me reminded me of how much I miss having him in my life immediately my rational side kicks in with a reminder that Reed made a reasonable decision he chose the well-being of his children over me how can I fault him for that Reed is trying to patch things up with his ex-wife Cresta in the hope that the two of them can be a family with their son and daughter eventually when Reed remarries Cresta I'll have to come to grips with the fact that I've lost him for good I take in a deep breath as I pull my thoughts away from Reed my stomach twists into one of those dreaded pretzel yoga poses that are impossible to get into and out of as I scan the packed audience the enormous Ballroom of the country club is filled to the brim all the seats are occupied and people are standing standing in the back every year doy Clayborn holds a Christmas party at the club it's the event of the Season wanting to mix things up a bit doy brainstormed having a bachelor auction before the start of her party she pitched the idea to skate who ran it by me unable to stomach the idea of the desperate women of comfort trying to outbid one another to secure a date with the slim pickings of men that we have to choose from I suggested that we hold a bachelorette auction instead dumb me I should have looked down the pike far enough to realize that I'd be one of the lucky bachelorettes even worse I'm the grand finale let me rephrase that I might be the final Bachelorette to be auctioned off this evening but the finale award will surely go to Caroline melli who's now on the stage her bid is approaching $1,000 wow that's the highest bit of the night I hate to admit it but Nelly Kinsey was right in her prediction of Caroline earning the top bid I grunt softly thinking how much I detest Nelly's hateful blog that she writes about Comfort Nelly Kinsey is a busy body of the worst sort hiding behind her computer and wreaking havoc on unsuspecting Town members on a positive note I'm excited about the money Caroline's bid will bring to the outreach program especially since skate has pledged to donate three of her own dollars for every dollar raised at the auction then again this auction is not about earning money skate can easily fund the outreach program a hundred times over however ever she wanted to bring awareness to the center and figured that the town's folk of comfort would be more invested if they spent some of their own money to support the effort bless her heart poor Caroline was a bundle of nerves before going out on stage I don't blame Caroline for being nervous she has been through the ringer several years ago her husband died suddenly in a road biking accident leaving her to rais their teenage son Caroline recently came back to comfort to help her mom Willie Joe run her pizza restaurant Willie Joe fell off a ladder and is out of commission Caroline reconnected with her first love Hayden melli who happens to be her late husband's brother Caroline admitted to me earlier that she has a reputation for freaking out and running from potential dates that well-intentioned friends set her up on Hayden is out outside waiting hoping that Caroline will run from the auction and straight to him it won't be easy for Hayden and Caroline to be together tongues will wag about their complicated family connections despite all of that I encouraged Caroline to run to Hayden Here I Go Again living vicariously through other people desperate to overcome her fears Caroline wants to see the auction through however I pointed out to her that if she runs to Hayden then she's not following a destructive pattern of running away from something but to something the Romantic in me swounds thinking of Hayden waiting outside will she leave him hanging the way Reed left me hanging the MC's voice interrupts my thoughts when she exclaims $2,000 folks this is incredible do I hear 250 I see another hand go up disappointment stirs inside me if only Caroline would have summoned the courage to pursue her happily ever after the next second Caroline takes a step back then she turns and fleases When She Flies past me I give her a hearty two thumbs up my spirit's so or and I feel as though my Underdog horse has just won the Kentucky Derby maybe all hope is not lost after all Caroline has mustered the courage to run to Hayden if only I could run to read murmurs rustle through the audience well folks the MC Chuckles that's not something you see every day I suppose when you've got to go you've got to go this brings a few chortles from the crowd it doesn't look like she's coming back a heartfelt apology to Caroline's top bidder her voice takes on a practical note the good news is that we saved the best for last she fires with excitement give it up for our final Bachelorette of the evening Blakeley Donaldson that's my queue taking in a quick breath I straighten my shoulders and go out on stage my smile is stretched like taffy over my face and I tell myself to walk with light dainty steps the way Albany taught me her words ring like an annoying cowbell in my ears remember you're a graceful gazelle not a flat-footed hippo Albany was the pageant girl not me of course it's not like Albany could participate in the auction seeing as how she's married with a child lucky her what does it say about me that all of my friends have moved on with their lives and I'm still in the same spot Treading Water although at the moment it feels more like I'm drowning in quicksand a native of comfort Blakeley teaches psychology at Comfort State College she's the daughter of Mark and paty Donaldson her brother Jasper is a firefighter and the husband of skate Donaldson who is the sponsor of tonight's auction I stop at the designated spot in the center of the stage remembering Alban's instruction I positioned one foot over the other and try to stand up straight holding in my stomach let's hope the Spanx will do its job and keep everything molded into Place let's start the bidding at $300 $300 to the gentleman in the middle I peer out to see who threw out the first bid but the stage lights are blinding me so that I can't see a thing a smile is plastered over my face and all I can think is that I can't believe I'm being auctioned off like a slab of meat to the highest bidder I tout to my students that the value of a person has more to do with what's on the inside rather than the outside with this one event I'm throwing away a lifetime's worth of sound wisdom like I said skate is going to owe me big time for this the bid steadily climbs I figure it'll top off at500 but it keeps going when it gets to $2,000 my jaw drops like it has been weighted in lead $2,000 to the gentleman over on the side who will make it 2,100 I look over to where the MC is standing behind a Podium sheap points 2,100 to the gentleman in the back 2,100 she calls out there we go two ,200 goes to the gentleman off to the side the bidding goes back and forth like a pingpong battle between the man on the side and the one in the back curiosity stirs inside me wondering who these men are it looks like we have a bidden war the MC proclaims exuberantly as she keeps raising the price I'm astounded when the biding finally ends at 28 $100 congratulations to the gentleman in the back what is your name sir the man answers but he's too far away for me to make out what he said people in the back convey the man's name up through the chain of the audience until it reaches the MC congratulations to Reed Thorston the MC booms you paid the top dollar of the evening for a date with Blakeley donalson thunderous Applause breaks out and fills the cavernous Ballroom confusion whirls through me as I go weak in the knees read bid on me why I thought he was working things out with Cresta so he could be there for his kids hope percolates in my breast as my vision blurs with moisture this can only mean one thing even though it ripped me to pieces I had the courage to do the right thing I behaved like a rational adult and let Reed go in a grown-up amicable fashion with the understanding that we could still be friends now he's coming back to me congratulations to the highest bitter doy Clayborn CS as she places a hand on my arm I avert my eyes to avoid getting scarred by her plunging gown that leaves little to the imagination I heard through the grapevine that doy got a boob job it would seem that she's quite proud of her new purchase and wants to show them off ew I don't need that snapshot in my brain instead I focus on her gloss red fingernails light from the overhead chandelier picks up the shimmery gold tips on the ends doy is one of those pampered women who probably spent an entire week getting ready for tonight's event she hosts the Christmas party every year at the club and was the organizer Behind The Bachelorette auction thanks offering a brief smile I scann the people in the ballroom search for Reed a breathless energy is surging through me demanding to be released I've got to find readed so I can discover why he bid on me the corners of do's lips turned down as outrage coats her voice I can't believe that Caroline fled the auction talk about irresponsible I expected more from Willie Joe's daughter I don't dare D admit that I encouraged Caroline to run I slide a note of gentle persuasion into my voice hoping to appeal to Do's sympathetic side uh that is if she has one I wouldn't be too hard on Caroline it would be tough to lose a husband as if I know anything about husbands I can't even manage to keep a boyfriend or maybe I can is read coming back to me my eyes ping around the room where is he I suppose Donnie grunts she certainly didn't score any brownie points with me Caroline nearly ruined the auction her voice lifts as she oozes a syrupy smile but you saved the day $2800 wow she G gives me an insinuating look does this mean that you and your professor are back together a blip of giddiness circles through me that has to be what's going on here right regardless of what might be happening with Reed I have no intention of discussing my personal life with doy would you excuse me I offer an apologetic smile sure she nods but doesn't look h happy about me brushing her off oh well I'll have to mend fences with doy later right now I have a bigger fish to fry I move past doy and weave my way through the tight clusters of people many of whom offer hearty congratulations thanks so much I respond with a tight smile my heart flips when I spot Reed coming toward me he's dressed in a navy suit and popping yellow bow tie I'm sure my friends will think the bow tie is hokey but it fits Reed to a tea his offbeat Manner and quirky style of dress might not appeal to most but I find his bookish intellect stimulating he's what you would call an Indiana Jones type sans's the adventure Albany finds him dull and has made a point of telling me that he's a limp noodle over and over emphasizing that I can do better while I appreciate Alban's concern she doesn't know Reed like I do it's like I told Albany I'm not looking for some pretty guy whom I can pin up like a poster to gawk at I want a man with substance reads like an avocado nondescript and a little Plain on the outside but oh so smooth and rich on on the inside all I know is that when Reed quotes Byron to me in his full-throated lyrical voice I Swoon hey I begin with a tremulous smile hey he utters his brown eyes flicking over me with more appreciation than I ever thought him possible of exhibiting you look beautiful moisture prickles in my eyes wow this is a new side of Reed he's never told me I was beautiful before touching my arm he leans in and gives me a peck on the cheek I never knew he could be so tender when he pulls back I hold his gaze in a question you broke the bank tonight with the bid what does that mean my breath catches as I wait for his answer do I dare to hope that he's coming back to me he searches my face the vulnerability in his expression calls to me with a sharp reminder that I've been miserable without him that I miss you his soft plaintiff tone wraps me in a cocon of warmth what about Cresta I asked hoarsely and your kids he swallows before glancing at the couples in the center of the floor would you care to dance sure I answer figuring he's trying to ease his way into the conversation placing his hand on the crook of my elbow he leads me onto the dance floor and draws me into his arms as we move to the slow song multiple eyes are zeroed in on us like we're making a debut on Dancing With the Stars a chuckle tickles my throat I can't believe you paid 28 $800 to go on a date with me I peer up into his face noting the faint Shadows beneath his eyes has Reed been pining away for me as I have been for him ever since our breakup he's been avoiding me at the college I figured he was doing so to make it easier on the both of us well I've been sorely tempted to meander over to the English Department just to get a glance at him I've refrained you're worth every penny he says did I hear him right that's the second compliment tonight I can count on one hand the number of times Reed has complimented me I've always attributed his reticence to him being focused on loftier matters however tonight feels different tonight is a night for New Beginnings a glow of pleasure warm through me as a smile curves my lips even though his dancing skills are abysmal being in his arms is a Triumph I would have gone out with you for free I admit softly our eyes catch and hold oh how I've missed him I thought you were working things out with Crista his jaw tightens about that long pause it didn't work out a dozen questions popped through my mind like the Ratatat tat of firecrackers going off in Rapid succession am I the reason why it didn't work out did Reed choose me over her when Reed broke up with me he explained in careful detail that it wasn't about Cresta he felt obligated to go back to his ex-wife for the sake of his kids Matthew is struggling in school and Lany cries herself to sleep every night they need their dad to be there for them in the home Reed insisted he laid out his case in such a thoughtful rational manner that my broken heart seemed of little consequence compared to weigher matters how could I place my own happiness above that of Reed's kids the only logical course of action was to let him go how are Matthew and Laney he gives me a brief smile they'll be fine they know that Cresta and I both love them that's the most important thing I tip my head needing to know more what happened between you and Cresta Shadows shroud his eyes for a second I've lost him behind a door of things which I have yet to experience forging a bond of marriage sharing a mortgage and other household expenses pouring your dreams and hopes into your kids irony Clips his voice we started fighting reminding us of why we broke up in the first place the regret on his expression rips at my heart mainly because I can tell that a part of him is still connected to Cresta Reed will always be tied to her because of their shared experiences and and their kids disappointment climbs up my throat as I swallow it down I'm not sure how I expected him to respond to my question but I supposed I hoped his words would include something about not being able to live without me I've always known that I love Reed more than he loves me or maybe I'm just better at showing it my love for Reed started out as admiration for his notable academic career and the many articles that he has published in literary magazines when Reed is in his classroom lecturing he's a superstar the downside of him being such a deep thinker is that he often has a hard time expressing his feelings when I peel back the intellectual layers I suppose there's a sliver of me that wouldn't mind being swept off my feet to be looked at the way Jasper looks at ski or how Memphis looks at pen romance is not in Reed's DNA the fact that he came here and bit on me speaks volumes I can feel his nervousness as he clears his throat are you free tomorrow night I was hoping we could go out on that date a teasing smile tugs at a corner of my lips well since you did pay $2,800 I suppose I can clear my schedule relief Smooths out his features as he rewards me with a grateful smile when I was a little girl I used to dream about being Swept Away by my very own Prince Charmin I wanted the White Horse a castle the sparkly princess style dress with the puffy sleeves and skirt voluminous enough to house Ursula the seawitch as I have matured and grown into myself I've come to realize that not all relationships are story book romances like ski and Jasper's some are more sedate and grown up while the little girl in me Mourns about that and still holds on to the hope of being rescued by a prince from the dragon of doldrums the adult in me argues that I need to be content with what Reed is able to give he came here and bid on me we're going out tomorrow night that has to mean our relationship is moving forward I should probably question him more about where the two of us stand however right now it feels good to simply be in his arms tonight I can bask in the knowledge that I not only garnered the top bit of the auction but even more important the bid came from Reed from what I can tell he seems to be intent on resuming our relationship I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps this time he'll come back to me for good chapter 2 wow skate utters in a low musing tone Alban's original you're pulling out the big guns tonight I hope the professor appreciates the lengths you went to in order to get ready for this date a tight smile wraps my lips in a tourniquet as I smooth my hand over the bodice of the dress what's the point of having access to Alban's designer dresses if I don't wear one or two of them on occasion uhhuh skate her rumps as she folds her arms over her chest I don't like how she's drilling me with her Superman eyes that have the power to penetrate through my veneer of confidence I'm a hot mess and ski knows it my stomach is hurling like an elevator that has been cut loose from the cable going down down down I swallow hard willing myself to pull it together I wish for the umpth time that skate hadn't dropped by a few hours ago to keep me company while I was getting ready for my date I don't have to be a mind reader to know that she doesn't approve of me giving Reed another chance at least she's keeping her thoughts to herself well mostly except for the occasional veiled comment it could be worse if Albany were here she'd be shouting from the rooftops that I'm a moronic idiot for going out with Reed of course I would argue that Reed paid an exorbitant amount to go out with me how could I possibly refuse him I peer into the mirror taking a mental picture of my appearance I went to the trouble of putting on magnetic eyelashes and ditched my glasses for contacts the black shimmery dress does look fabulous if I do say so myself it picks up the depth of my chestnut hair making it look full and lustrous where's the professor taking you the droll tone of her voice is the strike of the match that Sparks my irritation he has a name I retort as I whirl around to Face ski who's sitting on the edge of the bed perching a hand on my hip I give her the stare down where's Reed take you she makes a point of enunciating his name as she rolls her eyes why are you so determined to cast him as the bad guy she touches her chest her voice pitching high with the sauciness of telling me how it is I don't have to cast him as anything he's certainly doing an inferior job of doing that to himself the corners of my mouth mouth quiver don't you mean he's doing a good job I slip effortlessly into the role of teacher the way one slides into a comfy sweatshirt Academia is my safe Zone the place where the prowess of my brain overshadows The Emptiness of my heart my tone goes dactic as I lift an index finger if Reed did an inferior I job of casting himself as the bad guy than you wouldn't think he was one the blank look on sk's face brings a giggle to my throat skate is notorious for mixing up her words I tease her about it relentlessly because it's what I do what I have done since we were kids however I find her slip-ups endearing you know what I mean she blusters with a wave of her hand furthermore reminding me how intelligent you are won't change your situation ouch that hurts just because ski gets her words confused doesn't mean that she's not a smart cookie ski knows me inside and out but more importantly she cares that's why she's dissing on Reed tender emotion Wells inside me as I soften my voice I know you think I'm C crazy for giving Reed another chance but I know what I'm doing she arches an eyebrow you sure about that Jasper has been worried sick about you she ticks through the list Alban's worried pen is worried your parents are worried I'm worried even Presley and Bo are worried I scrunch my face why in the devil are Presley and B worried Presley is sk's cousin and Bo is Penn's brother the two are now married jeez I would think that Presley and Bo would have more important items to discuss than my love life I give ski a stealing look have you been blabbing my business no she goggs her cheeks going pink you know how close Jasper and Bo are they've been talking about it at the fire station ew i c thinking about being the topic of conversation at the fire station I wish my brother would keep his big fat mouth shut Jasper and Bo are firefighters and best friends you can't sneeze in Comfort without everyone knowing about it don't fault Jasper for caring she fires back as she Rises to her feet and pads across the carpet she touches my arm we're just worried about you getting hurt it's all I can do to keep my voice even I know I taken a long breath and let it out slowly time to paint ski a picture of the situation look I agreed to do the auction for one reason because you wanted me to I realized that she conceits okay then why are you harping on me for following through and going out on the date that Reed paid top dollar for I realize that you need to see the one date through ski says evenly however I would stop it there she Narrows her eyes I don't like Reed using you her words slice my insides is using me why is everyone so worried about him hurting me even mom called earlier today expressing concern that Reed bid on me at the auction how many times have I preached to my students that the obvious answer is usually the right one my entire network of family and friends seemed to be opposed to Reed am I foolish for giving him another chance I thought I was being rational about the situation but maybe Reed is in my blind spot I just wish that you would give yourself the chance to date other guys a hard laugh rattles my throat as I turn away from her and go over to my dresser where I begin placing my phone and makeup into my purse I'll be sure and do that the guys are lining up to date me after all Gat steps up beside me they would be you just need to expand out of comfort I turn eyeing her in a challenge and just how do you propose that I do that she nibbles on her lower lip a second later her eyes light with an idea you should go on a DAT in sight she talks faster enthusiasm coding her voice I can help you set up your profile we'll get Albany and Penn to look over it too a smile curves her lips we'll make you so irresistible that you can have your pick of any guy you want no thanks I clip cutting this idea off at the roots I've seen more than a few of those situations go south remember that student I told you about Rebecca Sykes the poor girl spent to months communicating with what she thought was a hot guy her age when she finally met the guy in person she learned that he was 20 years older than his profile suggested and 50 lb heavier that sounds like an insulated event a smile tugs at my lips you mean an isolated event yeah she says with an off-handed wave actually it's not dating sites are a hot bed for Predators one article that I read estimates that 16,000 abductions over a 100 murders and over a thousand rapes are attributed to online dating skinks eyes bug that's horrible she utters her hand curling up around her neck it is I agree with a hearty conviction which is why I'm not going down that road I reach into my purse to check the time on my phone Reed should be here in the next 10 minutes butterflies fan my stomach filling me with a Restless energy you haven't listened to a word I've said about Reed have you skate probes me with worried eyes I listened I'm just not sure that I agree with you Reed is a good guy I stayed emphatically the only reason he broke up with me was so that he could be there for his kids ski talks over me my beef with Reed is not about his kids it's about Cresta I know you don't want to face this but Cresta has a tight hold on Reed she says jump and he asks how high her words Pelt me with needles of uncertainty that's not true tears rushed to my eyes him going back to his kids had nothing to do with her the pity on Ski's face fires me with a RedHot anger you don't have a clue what you're talking about I hiss why are you determined to ruin my date how easy it is for ski to sit on her lofty throne and cast judgment on me she has Jasper who loves her heart and soul Albany has Gavin Penn has Memphis and then there's me the last one hanging on the vine I'll shrivel up and die long before anyone decent comes along to pick me Reed may be my only chance as if reading my thoughts ski brings her case home with don't settle for whatever crumbs Reed throws your way you owe it to yourself to find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved I do I croak in a perfect world I would find that skink rushes on raid is locked into a life with Cresta not true I jut out my chin Reed says they're over until the next time ski counters her eyes are a battle flag and blazoned with the slogan you know I'm right I love ski like a sister but right now she's being a royal pain I'm done talking about this I reach for my purse and Slide the strap over my shoulder I appreciate you coming over but you should probably leave before Reed gets here my voice has a high pitched unnatural Edge desperation washes over Ski's features I wouldn't say these things if I didn't care lucky me I say tartly I'm glad you care so much a tear escapes the corner of my eye and dribbles down my cheek I wipe it away with my palm I do care ski says simply we give each other the stare down Gunslingers at High Noon neither willing to back down my phone dings break in the tense silence I fish it out of my purse and look at the screen it's a text from Reed ski steps close and peers down so she can read it too the words come at me in a sucker punch that whooshes the air out of my lungs I'm sorry to do this but I won't be able to make it tonight cresto is under the weather and needs my help with the kids let's plan a time to reschedule for a second I go numb all over then a searing hurt shoots through me I'm such an idiot to think I spent the greater part of the day getting ready for the stupid date telling myself that this time would be different tears pull in my eyes as I push out a short laugh is this where you tell me that you told me so no skate says quietly this is where I say that I'm sorry chapter 3 the ringing of the doorbell jolts me motionless an unreasonable hope surges in my breast as I wonder who's there is it Reed I haven't heard a word from him since he broke off our date 5 days ago I thought I might hear something from him on Christmas but nope not a word the doorbell chimes again gritting my teeth I stare at the TV if it is Reed he's going to be disappointed no way am I opening the door right now when I look like crap it's 1: p.m. and I'm still in my pajamas I haven't combed my hair put on makeup or brushed my teeth heck I might just forego the personal hygiene regimen for the next 2 weeks I've got nothing but time stretching before me school doesn't start back until January 9th the doorbell rings again followed by a pounding that nearly knocks me out of my skin open up a female voice demands I recognize the voice instantly Albany a sharp disappointment stings me what was I thinking of of course it wouldn't be Reed at the door no doubt he's too busy playing house with Cresta and his kids to concern himself about me I lean forward and use the large kitchen spoon to cut off a generous section of brownie I shove it into my mouth go away I Bellow and then chew and swallow I'm not up to having visitors the only thing worse than having your world fall apart is having it happen while you're well-meaning friends watch the whole thing from a front row seat from the time I dragged myself out of bed at 10 a.m. this morning Albany pen and skate have been blowing up my phone with texts questioning if I'm doing okay no I'm not okay I'm a wreck I haven't answered a one of the texts and I don't intend to anytime soon moisture rises in my eyes as I blink it back yesterday was a blur Christmas was torture I dragged myself to Christmas dinner with Mom Dad ski and Jasper it was all I could do to paste on a happy face all the while everyone eyed me with pity go I'm a monkey on display at the zoo I didn't have to be a mind reader to know the refrain running through everyone's Minds let's see if Blakeley can piece herself back together after another setback with Reed I direct my attention to the Hallmark movie playing on the TV as the Knockin continues A Silent Scream screeches in my head why can't everyone understand that I need some time to myself time to figure out how to put the pieces of my shattered heart back together actually I'm not sure if it's my heart or my pride that's the most injured right now I was an idiot to get my hope hopes up that things with Reed could ever be any different the knocking continues I said go away I shout yes I'm being a jerk but I need some space right now and my friends need to respect that for the past 2 days I've parked myself in front of the TV and have been gorging myself on frozen pizza that I baked in the oven chips brownies and whatever else I could find in the pantry I had hoped that eating myself into Oblivion and watching copious amounts of Netflix would fill the emptiness inside me it hasn't the hole in my heart is growing larger by the hour conversely my stomach is so jam-packed with rocks that it's going to pop we're not leaving Albany Chimes so you'd might as well open the door I scowl remaining where I am open the door door skate pleads great skat's here too skate made cookies pen adds and Penelope just what I need everyone trying to cheer me up my brain process is what Penn said I could use more cookies especially later on after my food digests what type of cookies I call out ski answers with a lilting your favorite chocolate chip no one can pass up sk's cookies not even me quit pouting and open the dang door Albany demands I'm coming I Grumble good grief Albany can be so annoying raking my hair out of my face with a jerky movement I get to my feet as I take a step forward my foot gets caught in the strap of my purse which is resting on the floor beside the couch I trip and bang my shin on the corner of the coffee table tears spring to my eyes as I hurl out an exploitive I hold my shin and wait for the pain to EB before hobbling to the door I unlock it and throw it open hey I sulk as I step back to allow them to enter they rush in with a flurry meanwhile I clamp my arms over my chest and Trail behind them as we go into the combination living room and kitchen that flows off from the foyer Alban's eyes round to golf balls as she observes the aftermath of my eating binge there are empty chip bags one Doritos and one Cheetos and a plate of mostly eaten pizza with only the crust remaining the pan of brownies is hollowed out in the center because I overbaked the edges sk's expression is concerning turned as her eyes rake over me how are you doing she uses her arm to push the chip bags aside and places her tin of cookies on the coffee table I push out a self-deprecating laugh as I motion to my attire do you really have to ask it smells like sour milk in here Albany wrinkles her nose in disgust it's probably the garbage I haven't taken it out in a few days face I might as well have the word loser tattooed across my forehead a look passes between pen and Albany what I mutter as the heat from my face fogs up my glasses like I said nothing worse than your best friends having a front row seat to your falling apart party I remove my glasses and use the bottom of my t-shirt to clean them Alban's dark eyes flash with Fury reads a [ __ ] my voice goes practical his kids needed him I can respect that why do I feel the need to protect Reed even now it's official I'm a total loser that's a bunch of malarkey Albany seats I can tell from the looks on ski and Pen's faces that they agree pan goes to the couch Scoops up the blanket shoves it to the side and sits down ski sits beside her as Albany plops down on the love seat I shuffle over to the recliner and fold into it you need to quit making excuses for Reed Albany Harts she balls a fist and holds it up in the air her fiery demeanor is reminiscent of scarlet O'Hara and how she held up those withered carrots and ranted at the sky it's time for you to get mad and take charge of of your life just because I'm taking a couple of days to regroup doesn't mean that I'm not in charge of my life I counter with an arched eyebrow a Ry grin tugs at a corner of albany's mouth as she motions to the coffee table if you keep this up we'll have to roll you back to school when your classes start up again spoken by the woman who can put away more ice cream than anyone I know I fire back touche Albany Chuckles she touches her hair so I like ice cream what's the big deal ski scoots to the edge of her seat and clasps her hands in her lap her jaw Works letting me know that she's trying to figure out how to phrase her next words you can't let Reed get to you her voice gathers intensity you need to meet some other guys go on a few dates she looks to pen for help sk's right pen pipes in sympathy touches her expression if anyone understands what you're going through it's me when Tim had the affair it rocked my world I roll my eyes too bad I don't have a hunky Cowboy next door to take away the pain Penn's surprised expression Pricks me with guilt don't get me wrong I add I'm glad that you and Memphis found each other my gaze bounces from pen to skate and Albany y'all have significant others I shrug my shoulders as a tight smile wraps my lips all I have is me I detest The Wretched tears that fill my eyes blinking fast I focus on the floor so that I won't have to see their pitying expressions sk's voice goes was cheery on that note we have a plan for a second my troubles take a backseat to my curiosity plan I throw her a warning look my voice going hard and don't say you want to fix me up on a date nope no date ski throws me a buoyant smile this is so much better she brings her hands together you ready for this you're going to love it she sinks quit hedging and spit it out I snap we're going on a cruise she announces jubilantly my jaw drops a what a cruise Jasper and I are going with you pen Memphis Albany and Gavin would go but pen can't break away from the bed and breakfast right now and I don't want to leave Noah Albany enter Jacks he's too little to be away from Gavin and me for a long period of time I wrinkle my nose thanks for the offer but I'm looking forward to spending time at home ever since ski inherited the big bucks she thinks that she can pay her way out of her and everyone else's problems obviously Albany cuts her eyes at the coffee table ski squares her jaw I won't take no for an answer the tickets have already been purchased her tone goes brisk in fact we need to get you packed now we leave in 2 hours what I croak my head spins like I just got off of the mother of all roller coasters you can't just spring this on me and expect me to drop everything and go it's not like you have anything better to do Albany retorts you had to go there I throw her a look that could kill she laughs and blows me a kiss in response I scramble to come up with excuses what about my school schedule you'll be back home by the time classes start back pen reassures me I think of something else can Jasper take off work a broad smile curves skat's lips he already has where's the cruise could I just up and go the slightest tingle of anticipation runs through me anything would beat sitting around feeling sorry for myself for the next two weeks at the rate I'm going I'll eat myself out of house and home the West Indies we fly into Puerto Rico and leave from there you'll have your own room with a balcony she flashes a gargantuan smile you've always said you wanted to go on a cruise today's that day Albany sinks SK stands let's get you packed the bus is rolling forward at a fast pace leaving me no other choice but to run to catch it there's so much to do and so little time I can't leave my house in a wreck I look at the food on the coffee table Albany and I'll take care of that pen offers we will Albany g yep pen grins we will she shes her hand at me you need to hurry and get packed okay I sigh as I smooth a hand over my t-shirt it would seem that I'm going on a cruise I'm putting the last item in my suitcase and about to zip it up when my phone buzzes my heart lurches when I read the text my throat squeezes and for a second I can't breathe what is it skate asks frowning a dozen emotions ping through me all at once surprise frustration longing when she reads it Fury simmers in her eyes it's a good thing you're leaving that jerkwad needs to get the memo that you are not at his deck and call beck and call I correct in Dy Amusement she waves a hand be and call she blusters must you correct me all the dang time sorry it's a habit the knowledge that Reed texted asking if we could go on our date tonight gives me more pleasure than I would ever admit out loud I chew the inside of my cheek as I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear you know maybe the cruise isn't such a good idea my mom mentioned that she needs my help organizing her pantry my parents are getting up there in years it's probably not a great idea for Jasper and me to be gone at the same time steam spews out of skat's ears as her hand goes to her hip you are going on the cruise she Roars she holds out her hand give me your phone I rock back what why she gets up in my face because I'm sick and tired of Reed leading you around by the nose heat crawls up my neck this isn't about Reed the heck it's not give me the phone skate is going too far no you're not getting my phone I Jud out my chin hurling out my words contrary to what you think I'm an adult and do not need babysitting even if SK might be right about Reed on some level there's no way I'll give in her by handing over my phone I've got to Stand My Ground to prove that I'm not an imbecile this is about the principle of the situation she reaches to grab it from me but I snatch my hand away I Yelp as ski lunges forward and knocks me onto the bed sending my glasses flying off the two of us scuffle swatting at one another and pulling hair as I wrie and strain to try and keep the phone away from her clutches my suitcase is at the foot of the bed I accidentally hit it with my foot it slides off the bed and crashes onto the floor look what you did I scream that was you not me ski insists what are y'all doing Albany exclaims as she rushes into the room and picks her way around the suitcase and strewn clothes in quick steps she charges over to the side of the bed and pulls us apart ski and I get to our feet We Stand red faced glaring at one another she's trying to take my phone I wail as I point an accusing finger and she knocked off my glasses Albany glances around here are your glasses she goes over sweeps them up and hands them to me thankfully they aren't damaged I wipe them on my t-shirt and slip them over my nose I can't believe y'all were fighting Aly shakes her head in weary disgust the last time skate and I got in a scuffle was in high school when we both had a crush on Charlie wilop if anyone asks I would have sworn up and down that I was Way Beyond such childish behavior however I now stand corrected the more things change the more they stay the same Ski's voice goes shrill as she spins around to Aly you would be fighting her too she's trying to back out of the cruise because Reed texted and asked her out tonight I told her she's going on the cruise and demanded that she give me her phone Alban's face registers a shock and then rigid determination give me the phone she demands no I shriek cradling the phone against my stomach I throw Albany in accusing glare not you two I'm going to need your computer also skate adds pan comes into the room wide-eyed she looks down at the suitcase and strewn clothes her arms fly into the air what's going on I was in the bathroom and heard the commotion skate launches in with Blakeley is caving one hand is perched on her hip and the other is wagging in sync with her words she wants to stay here and go out with Reed tonight instead of going on the cruise Penn's face Falls that's not good I can take Ski's banshe Rampage and Alban's disgust but seeing the worry carved over the face of my Practically Perfect friend is nearly my undoing it's not just because of Reed I stammer go why is everyone looking at me like I'm pitiful tears blur my vision as I get a clear picture of myself I'm pathetic aren't I my wretched glasses fog up again this time I don't even bother to clean them they'll air out eventually I push out a hard laugh as I look at the ceiling to stay the Avalanche of emotion that's threatening to come hurling out when I managed to get myself under control I ask in a small voice how did I get here I'm Blakeley Donaldson a psychology Professor I picture myself in a lecture room full of students who are lapping up my every word because I'm the so-called expert the term unrequited love snaps through my brain as I mentally review the definition unrequited love means having strong romantic feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way it can leave one feeling underappreciated causing shame guilt confusion and pain skat's expression immediately softens we all have our weak moments remember how frustrated you got with me because I wouldn't admit that I had feelings for Jasper I remember I said Dry I wanted to pound some sense into your brain ski gives me a perceptive look I know the feeling I grunt in response before rolling my eyes you don't have to go this alone skate continues her tone pleading that's why you have us even when I'm trying to own up to my weaknesses there's a tiny part of me that wants to argue that my friends are not validating my emotions maybe if they listen to how I'm feeling they would understand or maybe they would tell me that I'm a lost cause my apology Falls from my lips as I look skate in the eye I'm sorry a smile tugs at her mouth me too in all fairness I did attack you first that's true her smile widens I would have taken you if Albany hadn't intervened I guess we'll never know I chuckle pen shakes her head I can't believe y'all were fighting what are we in junior high some things never change Albany pins me with a look that's hard as Nails about the phone don't forget the computer skate adds remember that scene in Star Wars where Princess Leia and Han Solo are caught in the trash compactor that's how I feel right now ew I hate facing my weaknesses my words come out thick like they've been sloshed in Elmer's Glue okay I'll admit that I'm not thinking clearly where Reed is concerned I can be strong they give me doubtful looks I can I assert lifting my chin you will get stronger in time Albany says in a pragmatic tone that sounds eerily like me when I'm in the throws of delivering what I deem to be a kick butt lecture but right now your tantamount to a recovering alcoholic and Reed is your preferred brand of whiskey she gives me a meaningful look hand over the phone I need my phone so I can communicate with my mom and dad while I'm away I pretend asked and what if one of my colleagues tries to contact me I'll check your devices for you skat says in a chipper tone Jasper will have his phone on the cruise he can keep you updated on your parents I can tell by sk's eagerness that she's going to offer up 10 solutions for every one protest I can drum up always The Peacemaker pen offers me a kindly smile chances are you won't have have great service while you're on the ship anyway that's true I concede knowing how this will end I'm losing this battle any effort I expend from here on out will be feudal fine I'll give you my phone and computer I direct my next comment to skate but you have to promise that you'll check them every day to make sure I don't miss any important messages the thought of not having my devices ties my stomach in knots cross my heart skate makes a cross over her chest I look at the phone in my hands shouldn't I at least text reback to let him know that I'm going out of town no all three of my friends explode at once you don't owe that idiot a thing Albany growls in a quick movement ski snatches the phone from my hand and thank you very much she Snips in Triumph alany goes over to my desk and grabs my laptop computer and charger pen bends down and picks up my suitcase she places it on the foot of the bed and grabs an arm full of clothes now that we got that settled let's get this suitcase repacked so we can get you out the door chapter 4 Corbin normally the time I spend alone in the locker room before a fight is hallowed I get myself in the Zone by going through a mental checklist of my moves and techniques as I run my mind through an exercise of possible scenarios if he does this I'll do this my stomach churns over and over before drawing into a hard ball The Angst I feel right now is not new fear is my constant companion on the eve of fights it used to wig me out but experience has taught me that in all actuality fear is my friend it will make me stronger because my instinct is to rise up and meet it full on the fear will be shortlived for once I step into the cage and deliver the first blow my trepidation will dissolve like vapor in the wake of my adrenaline rush some call my insatiable need to prove to myself over and over that I'm worthy to be in the cage a Fool's Quest my mom worries that I've sustained a few too many hits to the Head a grim smile curls my lips maybe mom is right I smash my gloved fists together as fresh anger Burns a hot Trail through my veins I don't have a playbook for what I'm about to do tonight is different from anything I've ever ever experienced this is no ordinary fight rage will be what fuels me tonight rather than precision and control an image of sadonna flashes through my mind flooding me with a fury so intense that I'm surprised it doesn't torque my insights I Was a Fool to trust her tat tried to warn me but I was too L struck to listen being the idiotic [ __ ] that I am I thought tat was jealous that he was butt sore about his best friend spending so much time with a member of the opposite sex my gut Hees making me feel like I've chomped on a handful of sour balls and swallowed them in a single gulp sadonna claims that her transfer of affection from me to jimie hamr is owed to the fact that I've been dragging my feet about proposing sadonna claims that I've been scarred by my parents failed marriage I suppose there's a grain of Truth to that how could I not be scarred my deadbeat dad left when I was a kid leaving my mom to raise me while trying to put food on the table mom and I had several tough years before she married my stepdad Carlos Reyes I owe a lot to Carlos he takes good care of Mom and me it was through Carlos that I got a taste of what it was like to be part of a real family all wasn't peaches and cream however growing up a tall gangly white kid in a predominantly Mexican community in Compton a city in southern Los Angeles County California had its fair share of Hard Knocks I got pummeled on a regular basis before tat brought me into his world and introduced me to his brother Angel who owns a gym it was thanks to Angel that I learned to fight once word got out of around the neighborhood that I could hold my own everything changed the guys who had once tormented me grew to respect me as I won fight after fight that respect turned to reverence from the outside looking in it would seem that I've got life all figured out I'm pulling in more money from the fights than I could have dreamed of making when I was a computer tech at a junior high school I've got a Swanky condo a sleek sports car and a glamorous girlfriend or had a girlfriend until she did the unthinkable and betrayed me that's the problem with being on top there's only one direction to go from here straight down like a lead balloon Focus I command myself I can't let the negative thoughts in otherwise they'll be my undoing I'm tougher than this the only outcome that that I'll allow myself to entertain is where I come out on top I'm no idiot some hungry Contender is eventually going to beat me in a fight and take my title I clench my teeth vowing that the person won't be Jamie the Hammer Hammer the hammer has been talking trash about me on social media and TV for weeks I grunt as acid burns up my throat I'll clean the Hammer's clock and then wipe the the floor with his cocky grin my thoughts pinged to sadonna yes I've dragged my feet in proposing however my hesitancy is no justification for sadonna dumping me and then hooking up with my Arch Enemy a week later her behavior only confirms that I was smart to hold off on the proposal I'm going to get a truckload of satisfaction out of beating the hammer to a pulp he's been gunning for my title for months in fact I wouldn't put it past the scumbag to woo sadonna just to get inside my head that's not going to happen I've scratched and clawed my way to the top of the pack to win the light heavyweight division in mixed marshal arts and have zero intentions of letting that scumbag get the upper hand on me no doubt about it the hammer is tough but I'm tougher Knuckles wrap on the door I turn and look over my shoulder as tat steps into the room how you doing he asks his tone husky with excitement it's a packed house out there a Ry grin slides over his lips all the chicks came out to see the choir boy in action I offer him a slight courtesy smile because I'm cleancut and make a point of staying away from booze and drugs I've been dubbed choir born there are worse things I could be called I suppose Tad trapes his over to the nearest chair and whips it around so that he can straddle the back he surveys me with perceptive eyes before proclaiming you look like crap tell me how you really feel I smirk Tat's real name is Juan Garcia his nickname came from his multiple tattoos some of which creep up the side of his neck Tat's hair is so short it's nearly shaved he's Burly with layers of gristle and muscle tough as rawh hide on the outside but has a tender heart he and I met when we were freshmen in high school fed up with getting harassed by one of the Juniors I decided to get the inevitable over with and pick to fight I got my clock cleaned tat watched the whole thing after everyone had left the lunchroom I sat hunched over nursing my black eye and bu Ed lip Tad approached with an admiring grin man you got guts to go up against Brooks guts are stupidity I muttered he sat down beside me and gave me a few pointers you need to stop telegraphing with your right shoulder before you punch it gives you away every time keep your elbows close to your body and throw quick punches to sensitive areas it helps if you can get in the first hit when I asked how he knew so much about fighting he told me about his older brother Angel's Jim you ready to wipe the floor with the hammer he taunts interrupting my thoughts I'm ready I growl Tad gives me a doubtful look you sure about that you seem a little weak weak I bulk as I Thrust out my chest I'm not weak I narrow my eyes daring him to disagree all right he conceits with a good-natured grin just checking he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a peppermint unwrapping it he plops it into his mouth and shoves the wrapper back into his pocket drumming his hands on the top of the chair he says it's a full house out there you said that already I quipped dryly his anticipation prickles over my skin ignoring my jab he pushes on Angel stress sent me in here to see how you're holding up angel is my trainer and Tat's my manager I often refer to the brothers as the dynamic duo Tad searches my face in concern Angels worried that this thing with sadonna has gotten in your head I can handle it I say offhandedly it's not just Angel who's worried Tat's nervous probably because he knows me too well he can tell that while I'm trying to put on a good front I'm crumbling on the inside just focus on your Technique Tad admonishes Channel your anger his expression hardens he took your woman don't let him take your title his eyes cut into mine you've come too far to back down G we've come too far I enunciate a silent standing passes between us Tad and Angel saw something in me that no one else did when I was a skinny kid trying to survive I never would have imagined that I'd grow up to become a champion I overcame nearly insurmountable odds to get here surely I can hold my ground Angel often talks about my unconquerable spirit I need to tap into that power now I owe it to the Garcia Brothers and to myself to show the hammer who's boss I offer up a silent prayer for help and then grin inwardly thinking how my nickname choir boy is more appropriate Than People realize thanks to Mom's dogged determination of hurting me to church every Sunday I'm a deeply religious person it was no accident that Tad an angel came into my life they were a gift sent Straight from Heaven and I've never forgotten it please Lord help me to make peace with my anger so that I can focus on the task at hand Tad pushes back from the chair and Rises to his feet let's do this thing A peculiar gleam flickers in his eyes which will it be tonight see guts or stupidity a little of both I quip t has been repeating that Mantra since the day I first spoke the words to him and I always answer the same way I heard that he draws as we share a grin show him what the choir boy from Compton can do I nod as I hop from foot to foot and throw a series of Jabs at an imaginary opponent to Rouse myself up the entrance song announces my arrival into the arena while I'm not big on all the height Ty I recognize that Showmanship is an important aspect of the fight hearing my fight song a country song that tat selected because of the Gospel message The Crowd Goes Wild the Press of the crowd is electric with the cheering and clapping as we strut down the path to the cage wearing game faces a guy Springs to his feet pumping his fist he starts chanting choir boy choir boy soon other people join in by the time I step into the cage the entire Arena throbs with the rhythmic repetition of my name the agulation is intoxicating as I smile and wave at the fans I do a little dance and make a show of punching before I make my way over to my designated corner of the cage where Angel is waiting with a white towel slung over his shoulder he fist bumps me and gives me a hearty p on the back angel will act as my corner man during the fight a cutman sits me down on a wooden stool in DEA movements he applies petroleum jelly to the sections of my face that will sustain the greatest impact the jelly will keep my skin Supple and help protect me from damage from the hits once the cutman finishes he and Angel leave the cage taking the stool with them they go to my corner area and set up shop on the other side of the vinyl coated chain link fence the announcer steps into the cage with a glib smile in a booming tone he fires up the crowd even more by laying out the situation in short Punchy sentences Corin Ledger the choir boy from Compton must defend his title against Jamie hamr the hammer both Fighters are undefeated his voice escalates to a crescendo as he raises his arm like he's a preacher lifting his entranced congregation to new heights this is going to be epic as if on Q a rustle goes through the crowd the Hammer's entrance song a hard rap number pipes over the speakers I watch in cynical Amusement as fog Billows down the aisle I've seen plenty of crowd Hogs during my time in the MMA but this Takes the Cake The Hammer is pulling out all the stops the fog clears to reveal a group of scantily clad women who twirl their Li bodies in a seductive dance a cluster of photographers snap pictures at a rapid fire Pace the hammer rounds out the back sporting an arrogant grin light on his feet he spins around and takes several Jabs at the air putting on a big show for the crowd let's see if the clown fights as well as he showboats Angel grows I grunt in response eager to get down to business the anticipation is killing me a championship UFC fight consists of five rounds that last five minutes with a one minute break in between in a little over 30 minutes this will all be over for better or worse disgust sour my throat as I wonder for the eenth time how sadonna could have picked this flake over me I skimmed the crowd and spot the object of my thoughts sitting a few rows back from the cage that she looks terrific with her dark lustrous hair and exotic features boils my blood sedon is half Mexican and half Caucasian the sense of loss nearly overwhelms me for some reason I can't explain an image of my dad flashes before my eyes as if sensing my gaze sadonna and I meet eyes for one long moment is that a pinch of regret on her beautiful face I clench my jaw reminding myself to Tamp down the emotion too late it comes bubbling up with a Vengeance the pain I feel over losing sadonna meshes with the dis spare I experienced when dad left I don't know where one starts and the other ends I remind myself that I'm no longer that helpless kid who was abandoned by his apathetic father I've made a practice of eliminating toxic people from my life the way a butcher trims the fat from a cut of meat I just never expected sadonna to be toxic a meaty hand reaches through the fence and squeezes my shoulder focus on the fight Angel orders in a Gruff garbled tone I respond with a Curt nod tearing my eyes away from sedon the hammer enters the cage we catch gazes and he throws me a smirk as he struts like a rooster over to his Corner the cut man assigned to the Hammer steps into the cage with a wooden stool and makes his way over to prep the hammer teach that arrogant putts a lesson Angel snarls his curled up lip gives me a glimpse of his gold ey tooth my voice goes razor sharp I intend to several minutes later the referee takes his position in the center of the cage as the hammer and I stand in our Corners waiting for the go signal at our way in the day before I came in at 2011 lb with the hammer weighing in at 204 one lb shy of the 205 lb limit I'm 6' 2 in tall the hammer is roughly the same height the smug expression on the Hammer's face causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand on ends when he blows me a kiss it's all I can do to keep from ripping his head off the hammer is a rich boy notorious for partying it up with champagne and all the trappings he craves being in the Limelight the way a dog soaks up the sun sadonna must be delusional if she thinks she can build a future with this Thug 29 minutes and it'll all be over just 29 minutes the Raph gives the signal and then the Bell dings the hammer and I come out ready to fight I throw the first punch to the Hammer's jaw he comes back with a blow that causes me to stumble backwards I'm jolted by the power of his fist it's how he earned his nickname around and around we go each of us trying to get the upper hand by the time the Bell dings signaling the end of the first round the hammer and I are both bleeding him from the lip and me from the edge of my right eye how you holding up angel talks to me through the fence as the cutman dabs anti eptic on my cut I wince at the sting good I say the word comes out slurred through my mouth guard truthfully I'm rattled the hammer is ruthless I'm winded and my Edge is slipping away my quest to get revenge on my adversary is replaced by a desperate need to make it through the next several rounds somehow I managed to hold my own the next couple of rounds it's on the fourth round when everything goes Haywire the hammer gets me in a choke hold and slams me to the mat he pins me in an iron grip as I wiggle trying to break free meanwhile I'm jabbing at his torso at the same time he's pummeling my face my right eye is so swollen that I can no longer see out of it it's the kiss of death to get caught in a hold the only chance I have of coming out on top is to break free exerting all the force I can muster I escape from his clutches and stagger to my feet the world around me spins and I struggle to get my bearings in every fight I've ever won there's a point a sweet spot where everything comes together and I can see a clear path to victory that hasn't happened yet I pray that it will soon the Roar of the crowd becomes a blur as the pounding of the blood against my temples drowns out all else my chest heaves and falls in a shallow effort as I struggle to get a good breath holding up my fists I prepare myself for the Hammer's attack he charges forward and lands a hit to my jaw the force rattles my teeth I punch him in the face knocking him back for a split second I think I've gained the advantage but then he unleashes a series of punches that jostle me One Direction and then another I'm a fragile insignificant boat caught in the ruthless path of a hurricane I take a step back only to find that he has me pinned Against the Cage a blinding pain shoots through my jaw at the same instant his fist connects with my bone before my brain can comprehend what's happening blackness crowds the edges of my eyes and then I'm falling in the time it takes for me to hit the floor the fight is over along with my last shred of dignity the hammer takes my title chapter five Blakeley as I sit on the edge of the bed drumming my fingers and looking around at the modular furnishings in my closet-sized cabin the saying of feeling all alone in a crowded room comes to mind except this time I'm alone on a crowded ship G why did I let my friends talk me into this all was good at first I was so caught up in the excitement of traveling to a new place that I hardly thought about Reed now it's a different story I can't help but wonder what Reed thought when he didn't get a response back from me as soon as the thought flits through my mind I squelch it reminded myself that there's not a dang thing I can do about the situation for the next week for better or worse I'm stuck on this floating city that reminds me of a mall with all of the shops and restaurants on the main level we boarded the ship a little over an hour ago skate and J ER retired to their cabin saying they wanted to get caught up on sleep leaving me all by my lonesome with way too much time to think I should have never agreed to Forfeit my phone and computer Jasper has a need to be prepared and ahead of the game in every situation hence us getting on the ship several hours before we're scheduled to depart from the port the plan is for us to meet up during the mustard drill where all of the passengers are required to report to their assigned location so the crew can go over safety procedures and what to do in the event of an emergency afterwards we're going to the main dining room where we'll eat dinner at our designated table until then I have a few hours to kill lucky me okay I can't sit here and twiddle my thumbs I'll go nuts I've got to do something productive an idea takes shape I'll get a workout I'm sure the ship has a state-of-the-art fitness center getting a hard workout will help me quiet my brain I could run on the treadmill and get on the elliptical heck I might even get in a lightweight workout after using the machines depending on how ambitious I feel having decided on an activity that will occupy my time my sense of well-being is restored I change into workout clothes slide my key card into the side pocket of my Spandex pants and head out the door it's strange not to have my phone I feel naked without it ski in Jasper's room is a few doors down from mine I pause questioning if I should let them know where I'm going nah so long as I get back to my cabin about an hour before the mustard drill I'll have plenty of time to shower and get ready for the evening the dress is formal for the last night on the ship tonight it's dressy casual which is an oxymoron I grin thinking how ski would chide me about overanalyzing the terminology 15 minutes later I find the fitness center this ship is ginormous even after studying the map key in the lobby area of each floor I got lost a handful of times and had to ask for directions the gym is located beside a spa H maybe I should book a massage or other treatment I make a mental note to grab a brochure after I finish working out using my key card I step into the large room containing various machines there's not another soul in the room wow I hadn't counted on having the place all to myself it's a nice bonus I make a beine over to a cubby area which holds rolled towels grabbing one I drape it over my shoulder and go over to a treadmill that faces a wall of Windows the fitness center and Spa are located on the top deck of the ship I step onto the treadmill adjust my glasses and tighten the strap I use when exercising so they won't bounce when I run I fiddle with the buttons on the machine and set it for a brisk walk after I get warmed up I'll increase the speed to a jog there's a TV on the screen I turn it on and switch the channel to HGTV I didn't even think to bring the earbuds that I was given on the plane oh well I can turn up the volume loud enough to drown out the sound of the machine if anyone comes in I'll turn down the volume so it won't be annoying I quickly lose interest in the show and turn my attention instead to the city skyline comprised of mostly putty colored offices and hotels with a few small smaller pastel colored structures dotting the landscape the row of pink buildings near the water reminds me that I'm in Puerto Rico my gaze climbs higher to the frothy white clouds perched against the Azure Sky the day is bright and sunny I'm on a cruise ship about to depart to a series of exotic islands in the Southern Caribbean I should be happier about that instead I feel a chilling kinship to Antoinette from Jean Reese's novel wide saroso C it's not without irony that I note that Reed is the one who introduced me to the tragic prequel of Charlotte bronte's novel Jane air like Antoinette who was eventually locked away and isolated from society I'm cut off from all Communications with home and Reed Antoinette eventually went mad my family and friends believe I've lost my marbles where Reed is concerned are they right okay I'm being morbid it's hard not to be when I've got nothing but time stretching before me drawing in a deep breath I let the air fill my lungs before letting it out slowly I can't keep dwelling on my woes I make a concentrated effort to channel my thoughts in a positive Direction I need to take the advice I've given my friends on numerous occasions why is it so much easier to give advice rather than to take it I chuckled Darkly at the thought okay sha acor I need your wisdom right now and I need a shot of it straight into the center of my heart the Happiness Advantage is one of my favorite books I quote it to my friends and students often acor coined the phrase falling up meaning that it is possible to rise above our setbacks and choose to take the upward path during hard times I need to find the strength to get over read that's the only way I'll ever regain my self-respect my head knows this why is my heart not getting the message time to stop thinking and to start exercising 5 minutes into the workout I increase my Pace first I'm going at a slow jog then as the Blood starts flowing I get faster I welcome the sweat that drips from my forehead As I push myself harder my feet pounding in Rhythm it's nice to work my body and release the tension ma'am I jerk at the sound of the voice the movement causes my foot to slip I trip and hit the emergency stop button with my palm I catch myself as the treadmill comes to a screech and halt chills pop over my arms as my body tries to adjust from going full speed to a stopped position I'm sorry to bother you the man begins he's wearing a white short sleeve shirt uniform with stripes on the shoulders and black pants I glance at his name tag which reads Chad the guy is so fresh f that I could almost mistake him for still being in high school my TV is too loud I surmise as I turn it down sorry about that I figured it was okay since I'm the only one in here I explain it's not that what is it irritation prickles through me at having been interrupted now that I've lost my momentum I'll have to start over and build myself back up to where I was Chad pinches his lips together I'm sorry but we're closing the fitness center for a few hours my jaw drops what just when I thought I had my afternoon planned out the rug is pulled out from under me he nods in the affirmative why I sputter we have a celebrity on board he needs to get a workout I need my workout too I protest you stopped me right in the middle of it you nearly caused me to trip and fall he gives me an apologetic look I'm so sorry I Bunch my brows what type of celebrity his front teeth slide over his lower lip in what looks to be a nervous gesture um a mixed martial arts fighter my words come hurling out are you talking about the guy who's doing the exhibition fight yes ma'am he looks intensely uncomfortable figures I grunt when skate first mentioned the cruise she pitched it as being a way for me to get overread being the trusting individual that I am I took ski at her word and felt a rush of gratitude that my brother and ski would drop everything and go on a cruise for my benefit then when we were on the plane headed to Puerto Rico Jasper started jabbering about the exhibition fight of some guy who recently lost his title and is trying to make a comeback that's when I realized that this Cruise isn't just about me and my broken heart it takes an act of Congress to get Jasper to take time off from work which is why the gesture meant so much now I know the rest of the story this Cruise isn't about me I'm merely the tagalong narrowing my eyes I level a glare at Chad channeling all of my frustration straight to him I paid for this cruise and have every right to work out no need to point out that skate paid my way the point is that my way was paid and I have a right to take full advantage of the perks Chad's cheeks go Pink as he Ducks his head slightly under my tongue lashing I was supposed to put a sign up saying the center is closed however I got busy with other things his expression turns pleading it's only for a couple of hours please just let me do my job he adds I pride myself on being levelheaded no I don't want to cause Chad problems however two hours might as well be an eternity right now I'm the only one in here I argue is it really going to hurt for me to be on the treadmill while some MMA guy gets his work out it's not like I have cooties he winces I'm only following orders he glances at the door like he'd like to make a Mad Dash for it blood thrashes against my temples fine I growl I'll leave as if I have a choice in the matter what now I suppose I'll have to speed walk around the ship it's going to be a long long cruise relief spills over Chad's face thank you he trembles with a faint smile I lift my chin my words snipping out for the record it's not right to shut down an entire fitness center for one person even if he is a celebrity fighter righteous indignation swells inside me now I'm a crusader for all the little people who get chopped down by thoughtless bigh heads who think the world is their oyster a picture of Reed flashes through my mind he has used me so many times and I've let him the sad part is that if I were back home I'd be lapping up whatever attention he was willing to give me yeah I'm pathetic sorry sha aor I'm not falling up I'm falling down down down into a gaping black hole of confusion and despair unrequited love bites hard in the most tender spots of my heart my stupid glasses fog up I remove them from my face and continue to glare at Chad who has become a blurry blob I understand he mumbles it doesn't matter what I say this ends only one way with me leaving the gym am I being bullheaded about this the rational side of my brain recognizes that Chad is only trying to do his job I should view him as a worthwhile individual who has needs and hopes the same as me on the other hand it's not fair to close off an entire gym which customers have paid to use all because some MMA guy wants his privacy in a flurry of motion I grab my towel from The Handlebar of the treadmill throw it over my shoulder and stalk out of the center I get two steps outside the door and run smack dab into a brick wall no not a brick wall but a guy who's as Stout as a brick wall whoa he cautions in a deep throaty voice his hand goes to my arm to steady me his touch is strong sorry I stammer as I glance up at his face seeing nothing but another blurry blob in a quick motion I put my glasses back on my vision sharpens as I blink wow he's easy on the eyes in a visceral gii Joe way I take in his prominent brow and even features my gaze sliding over his chiseled Jaw that's dotted with a fine layer of stubble his dark blonde hair is messy in a reckless way he's wearing a white sleeveless shirt that highlights not only his impressive torso but also his cut biceps jeez Louise this guy is fit as I lift my eyes to his I'm startled by the dart of heat that zips through me swallowing the dryness in my throat I become aware of his size in comparison to mine he's so rugged and masculine that I question if he's real oh yeah he's real so very real you okay he asks an amused smile tugging at a corner of his lips I'm fine I say turly he's still holding my arm heat from his fingers seeps into my skin making me feel even more attraction which quickly turns to humiliation his smile widens revealing a neat row of white teeth you sure you look a little dazed I can tell from his cocky expression that he's getting a kick out of me OG in him good grief what in the tar nation is wrong with me I'm acting like I'm 16 I'm Blakeley Katherine Donelson a professor of psychology I don't gawk at men regardless of how well formed their muscles are I'm fine I take a step back my wretched glasses are fogging up again rather than making a production of taking them off i l them up from my nose to get some air flowing it helps a smidgin feeling the guy's Gaze on me I do what comes most naturally when I get into a jam I slip into my practical know-it-all Persona if you're on your way to get a workout don't bother he tips his head in Amusement oh the gym is closed for some boneheaded MMA fighter who's too good to work out with the other their passengers wait until I tell my brother that one of his Heroes I make air quotes is some grandiose celebrity who suffers from an entitlement complex a low chuckle sounds in his throat is that right he gives me an appraising look that does strange things to my insights that was a mouthful his voice has the fascinating combination of being both lyrical and strong with a hint of tough guy grally he tips his head so your brother is a fan of this fighter I Bunch my brows evidently I thought he and his wife came on the cruise to help me but on the plane ride over I learned that Jasper came to watch the fight why am I spilling my guts to a complete stranger probably because I'm desperate for company shame on Skate and Jasper for going off together in their cabin and leaving me to fend for myself can't blame a guy for that he shrugs you'd better believe I can I fire back fighting is so Neanderthal I shudder why can't people be civilized he flashes me a boyish grin no no he draws don't be too hard on your brother fighting is how men set things right with the universe he pumps his fist before lifting it in the air as his voice vibrates with exaggerated Gusto it's how we establish our place in the world a giggle tickles my throat I try to swallow it down but it escapes nevertheless he wags a finger as a grin slides over his mouth see you know I'm right just because I'm amused doesn't mean I agree with you okay I hear you he says in an easy tone curiosity lights his eyes so miss philosophical what do you do to set the universe straight I teach College psychology I say with a note of Pride he raises an eyebrow as his voice takes on amusing quality I wasn't far from The Mark you are Miss philosophical he teases he touches his chin and turns sideways let's see how intuitive you are take an assessment of me am I a lover or a fighter I'm unprepared for the heat wave that splashes over me this guy certainly has the market cornered on charm I blink fast as my hand goes up around my neck I'd have to get to know you more to make an accurate assessment good grief I'm not sure what to make of these feelings that are stirring inside me they're different from what I experience around Reed my love and adoration for Reed came out of my deep respect for him and his intellect I wasn't initially attracted to readed how relationship developed and blossomed after we got to know one another what I'm experiencing right now is so physical like I've been given a shot of adrenaline straight into my veins he lowers his hand and turns to face me his voice a low caress he murmurs that can be arranged I take a step back and touch my glasses before folding my arms over my chest if only my friends could see me now if they hadn't all found their significant others they'd be drooling up a storm right now heck I'm drooling and I don't drool my body temperature has probably heated up 10° I'm sure my cheeks are cherry red I've got to put my head in control here before I turn into a puddle of mush Adventure sparkles in his eyes are you game my tongue sits like a rock in my throat for what I croak to get to know me thanks I say lightly but I think I'll pass laughter flows from his throat like a ballad ouch crash and burn a smile tips my lips are you always this Brazen he doesn't skip a beat are you always this Ki what I blessed her thoroughly insulted I am not Ki prove it weariness sweeps over me I don't owe this man anything even so I come back with a single word question how did I really just say that EK I'm losing it why am I go Tit for Tat with this guy he motions with his head let's go into the gym I'm sure we can work something out with the fighter the thought of working out alongside this Warrior makes me dizzy I clasp my hands together I don't think so you don't think the fighter can be persuaded to share the gym he throws me a confident grin I can be very very persuasive I don't doubt that blood fires faster through my veins it's all I can do to keep my tone impersonal considering the conversation I had with Chad I'd say the chances are slim to none P looks puzzled who's Chad the crew member who asked me to leave I see I wouldn't waste your breath talking to the fighter if I were you my hand goes to my hip as my voice goes conspiratorial evidently the bonehead is doing the exhibition fight to prove he's not a has been I give him a pointed look that translates to the fighter having a huge chip on his shoulder I motioned toward the closed door meaning that the two of us are left in the Lurch Chad said the gym will be closed for a couple of hours I let out a long sign oh well such is life talking helps me regain control of my senses that way I can focus on something else other than what it is about this man that excites me so a new thought enters my brain this attraction is a good sign that maybe there is hope after Reed is that what this experience is teaching me my spirits lifted yes that has to be it I'm not naive enough to think that this man could be a contender sure he's eye candy and quick with the banter however I know nothing about him I need a man who stimulates me intellectually first and foremost if I'm also attracted to him on a physical level well that's a bonus but not a necessity I can't help but allow myself another glance at his torso this time I take in his flat abs this guy must live in a gym I didn't get your name his expression is open and friendly as he thrusts out his hand for me to shake even his forearms are tanned and toned so very manly time stops as I look at his outstretched hand his fingers are long and tapered Blakeley Donaldson taking the plunge I clasp his hand and wince at the tingle that ripples through me when he gives mine a firm shake his skin is tough and callous he must be a blue collar worker he's tall probably 6'2 or three as cut as he is he's not beefy but lean and seny Blakeley he says my name with Precision like he's committing it to memory do I dare tell him not to get his hopes up nope better not go there it would come off as conceited I doubt that this man is interested in me he's a big flirt I'll bet he talks sweet to all the women chances are I'll never see him again it's a big ship after all our eyes catch and hold gush in a river of heat through me I stand corrected he is interested in me but it's purely physical a meeting of two strangers who cross paths for one brief moment and then go on with their lives as if the event never happened a few awkward beats pass it rustles through my brain that polite conversation dictates that I ask his name your name is I'm not asking because I want to know only because it's what's expected keeping hold of my hand he lean into my personal space his golden green eyes shimmering with Amusement you might have heard of me I'm Corbin lger don't think so talk about presumptuous Jiminy Cricket how in the heck would I know who he is I'm that boneheaded MMA fighter who's trying to prove he's not a has been he Winks my jaw hits the floor my cheeks stinging with the heat of a dozen sunburns as he releases my hand and grins nice to meet you Blakeley Donaldson see you around with that he turns uses his key card to open the door and trapes his into the gym with a jaunty step he doesn't even give me the courtesy of looking back chapter 6 I take that brisk walk around the ship all the while I replay the meeting with Corbin the bonehead MMA fighter God I put my foot so deep in my mouth that it's doubtful I'll ever dig it back out Jasper is going to freak when he realizes that I not only crossed pads with one of his Heroes but insulted the guy the polite thing would have been for Cor to tell me who he was before I made an idiot out of myself all of the strain with re and travel is making me dense I should have connected that Corbin was the fighter in question after all he did happen to be outside the gym at the same time the fighter was coming to work out also Corbin is the epitome of a fighter with his rock hard muscles and imposing demeanor and a lover I admit my insides warming he's certainly Charming is it terrible that I like how his eyes flecked with gold when he was teasing me after finishing my walk I go back to the cabin where I shower and get ready for the evening now I find myself back where I was at the start sitting on the edge of the bed and drumming my fingers the mustard drill is not for another hour and a half time drags by on this ship at this rate I'll go out of my mind more like poor Antoinette than I care to admit unable to handle the silence any longer I Rise to my feet St Martin is the first stop on our trip I'll need some sunblock and maybe a hat to keep from getting burnt to a crisp I'm sure they'll have those items in one of the shops I step out of my cabin door only to see a couple around my same H the man and woman are Tangled in each other's arms and are locking lips seeing me they pull away from one another the woman's cheeks stain with color as she gives me a sheepish smile it's our honeymoon she explains floating her husband a dyed expression congratulations I say lamely nothing worse than being the Third Wheel I should be used to it by now but it still stinks the couple forgets about me as they lose themselves in each other keeping his arm firmly fixed around his bride the man uses his key card to unlock a nearby door they fall into the room and close the door behind them seeing their intense love for each other fills me with such an acute sense of loss that tears rise to my eyes laughing at myself for being such a sap I blink them back and straighten my shoulders I go to ski and Jasper's door and wrap on it with my Knuckles coming Jasper says before opening the door he's dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and his curly hair is must hey little sis he begins how's it going he looks me up and down as the corners of his mouth turned down why are you all dressed up I thought we were going casual this is casual I counter rubbing a self-conscious hand over my red blouse so I took a few extra minutes to get ready I curled my hair and put in my contacts it had zero to do with the fact that I wondered if I'd run into one bonehead MMA fighter ski steps up behind Jasper and drapes her arm around his shoulder when she sees me her eyes nearly bug out of her head wow you look great a large smile fills her face this Cruise has been good for you already it's a dream come true I say dry Jasper pulls a face who peed in your Cheerios I level a glare spoken by the man who came on the cruise just so he could watch Corbin Ledger prove that he's not a hasbin Jasper blinks in surprise you know the choir boy's name he lets out a low whistle I'm impressed a choral rises in my throat is that what people call him the choir boy to come to think of it Corbin is cleancut I don't know a lot about the MMA but many of the fighters are tatted up Jasper looks at me like I've sprouted another head his tone is Frank like he's stating a well-known fact he's the choir boy from Compton Compton I asked dubiously Compton Los Angeles don't they teach geography with all that psychology haa very funny I roll my eyes a second later I get a good look at skate her hair is all over the place and she has a dreamy look in her eyes why why do I get the feeling that these two have been doing more than sleeping if I have to see one more lovey-dovey couple on this trip I'll puke okay that's not fair I'm happy that Jasper and ski are together still seeing them so content is a reminder of all that I don't have my pulse increases as I look from ski to Jasper so have I gotten any messages or emails the internet should be working since we're at the port a look passes between them before Jasper answers nothing that you need to be concerned about what's that supposed to mean my heart lurches Reid is probably wondering why I haven't responded to him the longing to get to my phone is overwhelming of course I'm concerned about back home and everything that could be happening well you'll be interested to know that it's snowing back home skate says cheerily I scrunch my nose really with it being South Alabama we don't get much snow in Comfort when it does snow it usually turns to ice yep she continues they got three Ines last night before skate can utter another word I fire questions at Jasper how are Mom and Dad they haven't lost power have they it happens quite often when we have an ice storm he holds up a hand to calm me down no they haven't lost power and they're good they said to tell you hello and that they want you to have the time of your life it has been a joy thus far trying to figure out how to keep myself occupied while y'all are napping sarcasm drips from my voice and I make a point of looking at skate whose cheeks flame don't get your drawers in a wad sis Jasper says easily it's only been a few hours we haven't even left the port yet urgency fires through me bringing home the knowledge that once we get out on the Open Sea the internet will be spotty if Reed has been trying to contact me I need to know now my words tumble out in a breathless Heap before I can stop them have I gotten any messages from Reed ski pinches her lips together and glances at Jasper before turning her attention back to me if there's anything you need to know we'll tell you her voice is Ironclad firm leaving no room for argument y'all are so exasperating I mutter ski Smiles sweet that's why you love us she gives me a pointed look you'll thank us for this later don't count on it I hurled back look at the bright side SK says you get to ring in the New Year in a warm place on this fabulous cruise ship that's right Jasper pipes in I'm so done with going rounds with these two one thing I didn't count on when getting them together was having them gang up on me it's infuriating my voice goes snippety as I wave a hand anyway the main reason I stopped by is to let yall know that I'm headed down to get some incidentals from one of the shops I was going to tell Jasper about meeting his Idol but since he's being such a pain I think I'll keep it to myself a little longer I'll meet y'all at the mustard drill Ski's voice goes soft as she gives me an imploring look don't be Huffy we're only keeping your phone and computer because we love you when you're strong enough we'll give them back yep I'm starting to feel more and more like antwinette I'm sure that's what people told her we're only keeping you locked away in your room because we love you everything in me wants to rant and rail that I'm not a teenager but that would go over like a box of bricks confirming what Jasper and skate already think that I'm a pathetic lovesick wretch who had the misfortune a fallen for a man who's lukewarm about his affection for me it would be better for me if Reed would muster up the gumption to just cut me off rather than string me along it's the tantalizing hope of what if that gets me I detest myself for threatening over whether or not Reed has texted or if he's wondering why I haven't responded my feelings aren't rational but love rarely is whatever see you later shaking my head I marched down the hall my feet as heavy as concrete blocks don't be such a baby Jasper calls after me in a huff I fling my hand into the air and give it a twirl as I continue walking our cabins are on the 10th deck ski explained that it was better to get a cabin on an upper deck so that we could avoid seasickness I make my way down the hall into the lobby where I opt to take the stairs rather than the elevator I go down to the main section where the shops are located the food is free in most of the restaurants and cafes interestingly enough there is a charge for ice cream it boggles my mind that I could get food from any of the places 247 that's a nice perk to be in on a cruise what I would have given to have taken a cruise as a kid imagine being able to eat all the pizza you want whenever you want I browse around several of the shops picking through racks of clothes Without Really seeing them I'm sure a cruise is great when you have your significant other by your side alone it's torture a silent prayer goes through my mind I know I'm being selfish and ungrateful right now I've been taking my frustrations out on Skate and Jasper the two people who know me the best I know they only want what's best even if their actions are misguided it probably would have been better for me to stay home at least then I would be in my element instead of in some strange place trying to figure out how to off occupy myself help me to make the most of this cruise I have always wanted to go on a cruise to the Caribbean but I always thought it would be with a companion I squeeze my fist and squelch the moisture that blurs my vision please help me to come to terms with my feelings for Reed if he's the one for me then let him realize it if not I pause not want to form the next words in my mind however I know I need to so I press on my heart beaten dully against my ribs like a deflated ball if reads not for me then please help me to realize it and move on once and for all please help me recognize New Opportunities and to be grateful for them the instant I end the prayer and utter a silent amen an image of Corbin Ledger flashes through my mind causing me to grin it was kind of fun sparring with him I looked down at my red blouse and skinny jeans wondering what the choir boy from Compton would think if he saw me all cleaned up without my glasses with that thought on the brain I Meander over to a shop that carries sunblock and other Beach items I replay my conversation with Corbin to his credit he took it rather well when I inadvertently insulted him as I told myself when Corbin and I first met odds are I'll never see him again however Corbin is a good distraction the fact that I was attracted to him gives me hope that there might be life after Reed thornstone I'm scrutinizing bottles of sunblock trying to decide which one to buy when my skin ripples with the awareness that someone is standing behind me the next second a puff of warm breath tickles my ear you could go for the 50 SPF but I recommend the 20 a low voice murmurs your Olive toned skin would look great with a tan I whip around my elbow knocks over several bottles and sends a few toppling to the ground energy whooshes through me when I catch gazes with the MMA man himself the next second the store clerk throws us a sharp look oops Corbin says with a sheepish grin sorry about that the corners of my lips quiver he doesn't look sorry at all in fact the devilish glint in his eyes suggests that he's used to causing trouble I suspect he's one of those types who when he was a kid would sit behind the girl and yank her pigtails when the teacher wasn't looking The Reckless streak in Corbin is not only refreshing but also endearing I suppose it's far for the course first you foil my workout I looked down motioning at the mess now this he presses his lips together and shrugs his broad shoulders I I guess the rumors are true I really am a menace time speeds up and slows in the same breath as we share another look this time I note that his Vivid green eyes are rimmed in Gold maybe not a menace I tease just a neanderthal clucking his tongue he shakes his head why can't people be civilized if only I laugh taking a quick survey I note that he changed from his workout clothes into a snug fitting navy blue t-shirt faded jeans and a pair of Converse tennis shoes ski often says that Jasper is the fittest man she's ever seen well I beg to differ the choir boy could certainly give my brother a run for his money suddenly I'm off kilter and a bit G I suppose Corbin and I have beaten the odds on a ship of almost 9,000 people our paths have crossed a second time he looks down at his clothes the corners of his lips turning down in a mock frown am I underdressed what I giggle underdressed for what he makes a point of looking me up and down for you the intimate way he speaks the words causes warmth to flush over me the appreciation in his eyes makes me feel Ultra feminine it's on the tip of my tongue to thank him for the compliment luckily before I make an idiot of myself I realized that he didn't actually compliment me he merely said he was underdressed for me whatever that means he tips his head no glasses contacts he nods on Instinct I touch the outer edge of my eye with my index finger you don't like me without glasses he looks thoughtful I like you both ways with the glasses you're the professor all the way no he pauses studying me with a critical eye I'm rais an eyebrow now no you're a GL Hammer girl with that long flowing hair he moves his hand in a wave you're a cross between Esmeralda and Jasmine laughter sputters in my throat are you talking about the Disney characters he doesn't so much as Flinch yeah so you're a Disney fan I am he says matter of factly I grew up watching it with my stepsisters he has stepsisters I file that bit of information away a glamour girl huh what does it say about me that I'm gushing a celebrity thinks I'm glamorous suddenly I'm glad I took Extra Care in getting ready for the evening his gaze moves over me from head to toe Rising heat over my flesh you look fantastic he says in in a low tone my blood pumps faster thanks you look great too I figured I might as well own up to thinking he's handsome he saw me ogling his muscles when we were standing outside of the gym it's hard not to even now I have to fight the urge to keep looking at his cut biceps and how the muscles roll smoothly beneath his tanned skin a pleased as punch smile fills his face thanks Doc I make a face doc you're a professor I assume you're a doc I am see I thought so and you're a choir boy surprise streaks over his expression my brother got me up to speed I explain his eyes sparkle with Amusement ah you been checking up on me he taunts heat rushes to my cheeks have not I retort it's okay he says easily you can own up to it did he really just say that talk about arrogant I'm about ready to tell him off when he laughs the sound is warm and mellow like Rich smooth caramel I might have done a Google search on on you my eyes bug you did yep it wasn't hard to find you with that cute twang I figured you were from some place in the South I like your profile picture on the college website his expression goes sanctimonious as he turns to the side and strokes his chin very scholarly a chal breaks through my lips I don't know whether to be flattered or concerned that you checked me out I had a few extra minutes after my workout how was your workout by the way I'm sure it was nice having the gym all to yourself not really it was kind of boring all that privacy gave me way too much time to think about what a has been I am ouch that stinks I'm moist in my lips about that it's all good the truth hurts his smile is strained I had no right to cast judgment on you a humorless laugh rattles my throat goodness knows I've got my own share of problems curiosity lights his rugged face such as too many to name I chuckle no way am I going to tell this Adonis about my sorted relationship with Reed it would be too humiliating and unnecessary Corbin's eyes fly open wide as he glances at the clerk who's walking quickly in our Direction incoming he blurts shoot the lotion I forgot all about the mess quick like a flash I bend over to pick up the bottles he does the same and we butt heads a sharp pain shoots through my forehead as I fall back into the Shelf knocking over much more than bottles of lotion what are you doing the clerk shrieks it's not her fault Corbin says with a good-natured grin it was all me taking hold of my arm he helps me to my feet concern touches his chiseled features are you okay gingerly I press my fingers against my forehead I'll survive my skin is a bit tender but there's no lasting pain if anything the situation is comical I can't believe we buted heads and I fell back into the Shelf what is this the I Love Lucy show the clerk a woman in her early 50s straightens to her full height her voice reeks of irritation I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you both to leave we can clean up the mess Corbin offers that won't be necessary the woman says stiffly just go the situation strikes me as funny as I suppress a giggle this is the second time today I've been asked to leave all because of you I guess I am a menace isn't anyone civilized anymore evidently not the woman snaps laughter gurgles in my throat it's all I can do to squelch it I look at Corbin who lips are quivering let's go He suggests before she tars and Feathers us the woman gives him a scathing look as we hurry out that was fun Corbin says there's never a dull minute with you Corbin couldn't imagine how much of a compliment my words were now that I'm with him again everything looks brighter and more promising by unspoken consent we pause in the main walkway neither of us sure how to navigate the situation but not wanting our association to come to an end what now Corbin asks I'm supposed to meet my brother and his wife for the mustard drill he grimaces ah the mustard drill a reckless streak goes through his eyes we could live dangerously and skip it he point points to the ceiling we could go up to the top deck and reenact the scene from Titanic where you stand on the bow of the ship I'll hold you over the edge you can't be serious I snigger why not he wrangles his eyebrows haven't you ever wanted to fly he holds his arms out like he's flying not like that I scoff he lowers his arms and leans close his voice goes low and husky so doc should we skip the mustard drill with him so close it's hard to form a clear thought no question he's handsome however his appeal goes beyond that Corbin exudes raw masculinity he's the type of man who would charge into a situation busting Knuckles first asking questions later I realize that he's waiting for me to answer rousing up my tongue I come back with no way we're required by the Coast Guard to attend ah so you're a rule keeper I am that's something to be proud of to prove my point I lift my chin I take it you're a rule breaker a rule Bender I can't help but laugh Corbin has a keen wit I like the sizzling banter that passes back and forth between us don't get me wrong I'm not under any delusion that Corbin Ledger and I could ever be a couple aside from the fact that he's a celebrity we are from two totally different worlds I'm just having a bit of fun and passing the time I feel more than see Corbin tense I follow his vision Trail and spot a group of people with cameras and notepads rushing toward us in a swift movement Corbin steps close and drapes an arm around my waist what are you doing I protest Paparazzi he growls the next second we're surrounded is this your new girlfriend a woman holds out a cordless microphone are you ready for your upcoming fight a man asks how does it feel to have your title ripped away by the man who took your girl I blink in Surprise as I glance at Corbin whose jaw is set in stone the man who beat him took his girl that's brutal and Corbin has to suffer the humiliation in public the hairs on the back of my neck rise as I glare at the vultures even though I know nothing about Corbin's past or what actually happened with his girlfriend his loss blends with my own I'm ready to defend him against the onslaught you need to give him some space I demand what's your name this comes from the woman who asked if I was his girlfriend crud now I'm on the hot seat my brain races trying to come up with an answer I don't want to tell these people my name once my information is leaked to the press the damage will be done when ski got her inheritance reporters came swarming to comfort they were ruthless she is Corbin answers in a loud tone I gulp his words were spoken with such Authority that I could almost believe the two of us are together even though I of all people know that we're clearly not I give him a questioning look you sure she's with You choir boy a man jeers she looks stupified the snarky comment Taps on my nerves like a jackhammer especially when I see Corbin's strained expression if you're really together then kiss her a woman suggests my lungs squeeze don't let them get to you Corbin Whispers in my ear they feed on fear he releases my waist and touches my arm kiss her a man demands his words catch like wildfire a second later they're all chanting my face goes so hot that I fear it will burst into a bundle of flames I turn to Corbin and see something in his expression that floes me desperation in that fraction of a moment our eyes catch and hold we truly see one another for the first time he's been hurt just as I have he doesn't have to breathe a word for me to know exactly how he feels I straighten my shoulders and speak my next two words without the slightest tremble kiss me are you serious he asks quietly he leans close you don't have to do this I run his words through my mind he's right I could walk away right now and be none the worse for the wear on the other hand for so long long I've had zero control over my life I've been a pawn in Reed's game hungrily scarfing up whatever crumbs he decides to throw at me helping Corbin will allow me to regain some self-respect in time I hope to take back my life I glance at the Sharks a fierce determination overtaking me let's give these low lives something to chew on I seee Amusement flicks over his rugged features and then comes the boyish smile okay in a movement so fast that it hitches my breath he steps close slides his arms around me and dips me back reflexively I curl my arms around his neck being held in his strong arms reminds me of his command in masculinity I expect him to kiss me with the blunt fire and fury of an MMA fighter however his mouth presses against mine with the softness of velvet his lips caress mine in a gentle persuasion that tickles and teases like a wispy Cloud as our lips move together I'm taken off guard by the warm ribbons that stir through my stomach then he deepens the kiss with an intensity that sends me into a tail spin for a moment I forget about the reporters and am lost in the tumult of these strange exhilarating Sensations All Too Soon the kiss is over as he lifts me back up and stands me back on my feet my legs shaky and uncertain I struggle to regain my bearings as cameras flash around us I'm vaguely aware of Corbin standing close his arm wound tightly around my my waist smile for the cameras he urges softly I do so although I'm sure my smile looks dazed that kiss was so so very unexpected I can't even begin to wrap my mind around everything that I experienced clear the way a Gruff voice Demands a path Parts between the reporters as a stout man covered in tattoos put pushes his way forward give my boy some space the tattooed man orders he steps up to Corbin and then sees me his black eyes flick with surprise before he turns back around to face the reporters the muscular guy is a head shorter than Corbin of Spanish descent his black hair is so short it's almost shaved and he has a diamond stud in his left ear is this man an MMA fighter he certainly looks the part tat what can you tell us about the choir Boy's new girlfriend a female reporter asks he holds up his arms you've taken your pictures time for you to leave what's your prediction for the exhibition fight a man asks that's enough for today he looks past the reporters and motions with his fingers a second later two male muscled crew members walk briskly up to the group of Porters ready to do the tattooed man's bidding the crew members remind me of bouncers at a bar will they throw the Sharks off the ship I sure hope so you know our arrangement we allowed you onto the ship to cover the exhibition fight on the condition that you give Mr Ledger his space the taller crew member begins Corbin's guard dog Narrows his eyes that means it's time for you to scatter he eyes the reporters with disdain grumbling the reporters disperse I'm sorry about that the shorter crew member says to the guard dog the tatted man hardens his jaw you need to talk to the captain or whoever is in charge to make sure this doesn't happen again my boy needs his space that was our agreement yes sir the man nods we'll take care of it right away as the crew members walk away the tattooed man turns back to Corbin who's this he asks motioning to me Corbin's arm is still around my waist this is Blakeley Donaldson he says with a cheeky grin she's a professor of psychology and my girlfriend the astonished expression on the tattooed man's face is comical what he blusters when did this happen you were unattached the last time I saw you in the gym that was what an hour ago I'm his pretend girlfriend I correct we put on a show for the Press yes we did Corbin makes a point of looking at my lips that was some show he murmurs with a cocky grin hate ripples through me as I replay our kiss I suppose it was I chuckle the attraction between us is Alive and Well the pragmatic side of me always thought that physical attraction was exaggerated in Romance Books and films I now stand corrected of course considering how Corbin Ledger is 100% male with his chiseled physique it's only natural that I would be drawn to him I'm sure I'm not the exception any woman with a pulse would notice Corbin he removes his hand from my waist this is tat my best friend and manager hello I hold out my hand for us to shake a medium height with my heels I'm the same height as tat nice to meet you tat says as he clasps my hand and gives it a hearty Shake how did the girlfriend thing come about he asks Corbin the reporters were razing us Corbin explains I said Blakeley was my girlfriend they challenged us to prove it so we did I finish it gives me a dart of satisfaction to know that we sucked it to those sharks if nothing else comes from this trip I'll know that I did something to help someone prove it we did Corbin draws with a grin that stretches from ear to ear his gaze holds mine causing me to blush thanks for taking one for the team my pleasure the second the words leave my lips I realize what I said an invisible blowtorch ignites my cheeks God I can't believe I just said that I'm turning into ski in a few more minutes I'll be mixing up my words his eyes hold mine in a caress the pleasure was all mine Tad clears his throat we should get going disappointment washes over me will this be my final encounter with Corbin I suppose it's only fitting that he would exit my life as quickly as he came into it too bad because when I'm around Corbin my problems aren't as press he's a brilliant rainbow that streaks across the sky and then disappears leaving only a tendril of color lingering in its path he reaches for my hand and sandwiches it between his palms thank you he says with sincerity anytime a smile tugs at his lips if you ever want to take me up on the flying thing his voice dribbles off as we share a grin my brain scrambles for something halfway intelligent to say in parting good luck with the fight I'll try and keep it civilized he Winks take care doc you too he releases my hand see you around yeah I sigh as I watch him walk away his gate is fluid and Nimble his body moving like a well-oiled machine I Trac the outline of his broad shoulder shoulders noting how that even his tanned neck is attractive with his dark blonde hair tapered next to his skin my lips curve into a grin as I think of all the crazy events that happened between us in such a short stretch of time this time Corbin glances back over his shoulder a goofy grin wobbles over my lips as my hand goes up in a wave other passengers fill in the space between us and then he Fades from my view chapter 7 this way please the man in the black tuxedo uniform says with solemn dignity as he leads Jasper skate and me through the massive dining area to our sign table we wind our way through the tables and up a series of steps that lead to an upper floor find finally the man directs us over to a table next to a wall of Windows here you are he says pleasantly this will be your assigned table for the duration of the cruise thanks Jasper nods as the three of us sit down I look around the table noting the empty seats there are seven of them I wonder who'll be joining us I guess we'll soon find out ski says with an exuberant smile the glow on my bestie's face causes me to grin what she asks I Tu a loose lock of hair behind my ear I'm glad y'all are having a good time to my surprise it occurs to me that I mean it heart and soul I've been so caught up in my own misery that I haven't stepped outside of my problems to recognize that ski and Jasper overcame a lot of obstacles to be together they were best friends before falling in love skate was petrified to pursue a relationship with Jasper because she feared losing him as a best friend then when out of the blue Henry roach left her his fortune things got even more complicated Jasper had a hard time coming to grips with her being wealthy the two worked through their problems and have a rock solid marriage the kind of relationship I'll probably spend my entire life trying to find normally I think of Reed when such thoughts come however this time it's Corbin's face that flashes before my eyes I can't help but smile inwardly the choir boy is fast becoming my favorite Daydream ski turns to Jasper lovees shining on her beautiful face we're having a great time they share a lingering look strangely this time I don't cringe over their affection instead I'm happy for them your servers will be with you shortly the man nods and strides away to help the next guests skate picks up the cloth napkin from her plate shakes it out and places it into her lap this is fancy her brown eyes glimmer with anticipation I wonder what they'll serve for dessert spoken like a true Baker skat's pride and joy is her Bakery I'm sure that whatever it is won't hold a candle to your chocolate chip cookies my words aren't empty flattery sk's baked goods are the stuff Angels Sing About she gushes with pleasure as she waves a hand ah I'm a lot to be desired she means I lack a lot to be desired before I can direct her Jasper chimes in she is a lot to be desired giving her a tender smile he drapes his arm around the back of sk's chair before turning his attention to me so are you getting more excited about the cruise now that we're out on the Open Sea actually I am another picture of Corbin flashes through my mind I wonder what he's doing this very minute I can't help but glance around the room in the hope that I'll catch sight of him Always ultra perceptive Jasper probes me with curious eyes you looking for someone my cheeks go warm I thought I might catch a glimpse of that MMA fighter you're so enamored with Jasper smirks I'd hardly call it enamored it's fun to get a rise out of my brother you did take time off from work and go on a cruise something totally out of character for you I point out his voice pitches High seriously you're harping on that again ski touches his arm this trip is twofold yes Jasper wants to watch the fight but we also want to be here for you you needed a change of pace and so did we she gives me a warning look would you please quit tormenting your brother about the fight I'm laser in on Jasper I'm not tormenting you I say sweetly I only bring it up because I'd like to know more about the choir boy from Compton and what makes him so special Jasper eyes me with suspicion I smell a rat the only thing you smell is your stinky feet I retort he places a hand over his heart that that hurt when I was 10 you need some new material sis he flashes me a mean smile the one he always gives when we fight back and forth I stick my tongue out at him now children ski says in a motherly tone control yourselves she started it Jasper suls I blow out an exasperated breath I was just asking a about Corbin what's the big deal Jasper's eyes round to baseballs Corbin you're on a firstname basis a wise smile spreads over his lips as he sits back and Wags a finger you met him today didn't you why would you say that I gawk hating how heat rushes to my cheeks Victory flashes over his expression you met him I can tell Blakeley has a crush he taunts hope lights Ski's face really you met someone that's awesome I adopt the same tone I use when setting my students straight yes I did meet Corbin today and no I don't have a crush skate swats Jasper's arm quit harassing your sister it's a good thing she met someone Jasper shifts to get comfortable in his seat and rolls up his sleeves what do you want to know about the choir boy eagerness bubbles up inside me I keep my tone neutral so I won't give myself away is he a good fighter one of the best you mentioned on the plane that he recently lost his title that's right I don't dare bring up the part about Cor 's former girlfriend shating him by getting together with the guy who took his title I sit up taller in my seat and moisten my lips what makes him a good fighter other than the obvious part about him being a champion in his division he's one of those instinctual fighters who has an unconquerable Spirit my stomach tightens as I ask my next question do you think that Cor will be able to win the exhibition fight it's odd that I'm so concerned about Corbin and the outcome of the fight what a difference a few hours can make absolutely Jasper says smoothly easing my fears the panda isn't a real threat that's why they call it an exhibition fight laughter ripples through my throat the panda Jasper nods straight faed that's his fighting name I crinkle my nose why would anyone opt to be called the panda ski shrugs nonchalantly beats me she glances around where's our server I'm starved she touches her stomach me too Jasper agrees I'm itching to know more about Corbin although I have to be careful what I ask otherwise Jasper will tease me relentless ly so he grew up in Los Angeles yep in Compton Jasper answers as he looks past me where is our dang server you think they would have better service on a cruise ship he drums the table with his hands a couple of times one would think skate her rums good evening a soft Spoken Man with a slight accent says as he steps up to our table with his olive skin dark hair and matching eyes he has a multicultural appearance I can't decide if he's from somewhere in South America or maybe India sorry for the delay he touches his chest my name is PIP I'm one of your servers Brandon will also be helping he should be here any minute he's helping the other guests who will be joining your table you don't have any menus he frowns I'll be back with those some water and rolls offering a brief smile he hurries away I hope he comes back soon Jasper laments otherwise my intestines are going to start ging on my stomach I wonder who else will be joining us skate Muses it'll be good to get to know a few of the passengers pip returns a couple minutes later he distributes glasses of ice water and places a basket of warm rolls on on the table next he passes out fancy paper menus that detail the many options which are available for the multi-course evening meal I peruse the menu my mouth watering at the shrimp cocktail and cpra salad I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu pip says before leaving the table Jasper pulls the basket of rolls close he selects one dips his dinner knife into a ramkin of butter slathers on a thick layer and takes a large bite skate motions to the server coming toward us that must be our other server what was his name again I search my brain Brandon I believe that sounds right she concurs there are two men walking behind the server one is Stout arms covered in tattoos the other is tall and lean with chiseled muscles my heart leaps into my throat it's Corbin here you are the server says as he motions to the empty seats I'll be right back with some more drinks and more rolls Jasper chokes on his roll when he realizes who's joining us he reaches for his water glass and takes a long Swig I bite back the grin threatening to spill over my lips because he's a firefighter and often thrown into dangerous unpredictable situations Jasper Prides himself on holding his composure however right now he's dumbfounded tat sits down directly across from Jasper ski and me Corbin on the other hand goes around the table and selects the seat beside me hey duck he begins with a Cavalier grin surprised a little although I probably shouldn't be our paths seem to keep Crossing purely happen stance he Winks uhhuh I draw I've got your number I sure hope so his voice holds such an intimate significance that it rushes all the blood to my head where it pounds against my temples making me dizzy I'm suddenly so deliriously happy that I have to fight the urge to giggle like a teenager for some inexplicable reason this Superstar is interested in me the prospect of dining with Corbin is glorious it's flattering to know that he pulled a few strings to get a table with me tat opens up the conversation by directing his comments to Jasper with a tough guy nod how you doing okay Jasper croaks I'm tat he motions this is Corbin but everyone calls him C nice to meet you Jasper stammers he looks at Corbin with an a struck expression I know who you are I'm a big fan thank you Corbin says with a magnanimous nod he looks at skate and this lovely lady is your wife I presume Jasper sits in silence like a knuckle head until ski Jabs him in the elbow he jumps offering her a sheepish grin sorry this is ski more silence yes I'm his wife ski rolls her eyes in exasperation you'll have to excuse my husband he's a bit thunder struck more like Star Struck I chuckled dry Jasper gives me the evil eye to which I shake my head and laugh Jasper's looking forward to your exhibition fight I say to Corbin in a casual gesture Corbin stretches out his arm and drapes it around my chair much like Jasper did earlier to skate his closeness Cascades tingles through me Ski's eyes go round as her gaze lingers on Corbin's arm if she's that surprised by Corbin putting his arm around me she'll freak when she learns that we were locking lips in front of a throng of reporters a short while ago the mere thought of Corbin's lips on mine causes my breath to come faster reel it in I order myself the kiss meant nothing it was a publicity stunt the kid in me gushes in the knowledge that I am now associated with a kick butt MMA fighter ja asper shakes his head that was a tough break with the hammer it was Corbin admits something strange is happening here I'm so in tune with Corbin's feelings that his angst is flowing into me I think of the ex-girlfriend wanting to know more of the details about the breakup and why in the heck any woman in her right mind would choose another man over Corb been ler yikes did I really just think that okay time to put this silly attraction into a box close the lid and seal it once and for all I hope you'll challenge him to a rematch Jasper reaches for another roll I think you can take him after adding a layer of butter he looks at tat and Corbin want one no thanks Corbin says diplomatically ly I'm sure our servers will be back soon with more I grin inwardly at how Jasper neglected to ask ski or me if we wanted any roles normally Jasper is a gentleman to the MTH degree however his chivalry has gotten overshadowed by his excitement over meeting one of his Heroes while it's tempting to rise Jasper in front of Corbin I'll resist the temptation Jasper and I might bicker and fight but we fiercely loyal to one another Brandon and pip approach the table Brandon gives tat and Corbin glasses filled with water and their menus pip places a basket of rolls near tat who grabs the top one and takes a large bite pip takes the lead brundon and I will be your servers for the duration of the cruise if there's anything you need don't hesitate to ask it runs through my brain that we'll be eating dinner at this table with Corbin and tat every night excitement bubbles up my throat as I swallow it back down I need to play The Situation off casually as if dining with a hunky celebrity is everyday business in a polished tone pip goes over the menu in lengthy detail when he's done Jasper jokes sounds great I'll have one of Beach not skipping a beat pip responds with yes sir I was kidding Jasper counters with wide eyes you can have anything you want pip assures him if it's not on the menu we'll see if the chef can make it Jasper tips his head wow that's impressive pep and Brandon divide up the task of taking our orders when that's done we pass around the rolls and begin eating the conversation revolves around Jasper peppering Corbin and Tad with questions about fighting by the time our appetizers come Jasper's still talking fighting as if sensing mine and skat's restlessness Corbin redirects the conversation what do you do for a living he's a firefighter I answer and he does some boxing on the side skate pipes in a boxer tat muses that's cool I do a little boxing myself Tat's brother Angel owns a gym Corbin adds how' you pick up boxing tat asks Jasper Bo my buddy and a fellow fireman has a brother-in-law who boxes Memphis got us into it Jasper answers Jasper's Too modest to tell you that he's quite good skat's Voice rings with pride I'm all right Jasper says off handedly it's cute to see my brother blush oh how I would love to R him right now Corbin turns to me a wicked glint in his eye so does your disdain for fighting include boxing or is it just the MMA that you find to be uncivilized Jasper's jaw drops please tell me you didn't insult the choir boy she did Corbin grins she chopped me down to size chewed me up and spit me out in tiny pieces now I'm the one whose cheeks are burning it wasn't that bad I counter it was Corbin laughs he leans in and touches my shoulder that's okay I still got a kiss out of it I nearly choke on my own saliva Corbin gives me several hearty pats on the back you okay there Duc skat throws me an incredulous look you kissed him you bet she did Corbin jeers or rather I kissed her the two of us are dating he States in a matter of fact tone I whip around to him my voice pitching high that was a publicity stunt to get those reporters off your back you should be thanking me not castigating me I snip a cocky G stretches over his lips I do thank you he makes a point of looking at my lips that kiss was something God my face is so hot it's going to combust you're enjoying tormenting me I am he laughs you can chalk it up to the Neanderthal in me you are a Neanderthal I raise an eyebrow daring him to disagree guilty as charged you're getting great Delight out of teasing me aren't you just a little he says lightly what what the heck is going on here ski blusters as she lasers in on me you kissed him I did my defense Falls from my lips in disjointed fragments we were on the main deck where the shops are located reporters surrounded us and started harassing Corbin one thing led to another I push away my near empty appetizer plate as I looked to Corbin for help Blakeley came to my rescue the edges of Corbin's eyes soften all joking aside thanks for what you did the moment turns deliciously slow as the connection between us runs Swift and strong my eyes trace the angular line of his jaw I can't look at his lips without thinking about their velvety softness at first and then how they grew insistent when he deepened the kiss so the Press thinks you're Corbin's girlfriend sk's voice is coated with disbelief they do I acknowledge I watch as ski takes that in several seconds later her expression turns thoughtful uh-oh I can see the wheels turning in skates crafty head no telling what hairbrained scheme she's dreaming up the servers bring our dishes for the main course I ordered prime rib fluffy mashed potatoes with Rich brown gravy and seared asparagus it looks delicious Corbin ordered salmon stuffed with crab and topped with hollay so sauce it came with mashed potatoes and brown gravy along with roasted vegetables we turn our attention to eating for several minutes before ski opens up another conversation have either of you ever been to Alabama she looks from Corbin to tat nope they answer the corners of her lips turned down in disapproval that's a dying shame you should go sometime it's a beautiful place a choral tickles my throat when I see the puzzled look on Corbin's face Jasper and I catch eyes and I can tell that he's trying not to laugh what SK means is that it's a crying shame that you haven't been to Alabama oh tat says with understanding he Spears a roasted potato and shoves it into his mouth he hardly chews before washing the food down with a swamp of soda having only been around tat for a short period of time I can already tell that he's a blunt instrument questions percolate inside me starting with how did tat and Corbin end up becoming friends and business associates Corbin is clean cut and more refined no wonder he has been dubbed the choir boy of Compton from my understanding Compton is a rough place place that leads to more questions how did Corbin grow up what got him into fighting he mentioned having stepsisters did he grow up with both parents or was one out of the picture does he have any siblings you should come to comfort skate suggests Comfort is the name of our town Jasper clarifies I could go for a visit to Alabama Corbin looks at me and smiles maybe taking a lecture or two from a certain professor of psychology I have a fabulous idea ski announces brightly here it comes her hairbrained scheme I embrace myself for whatever it is she's about to say I run an outreach program that provides a safe place for adolescent to go while their parents are at work we offer a wide range of activities Shan looks at Corbin you should come and teach some self-defense classes to the kids Corbin doesn't have time for that I protest how do you know what he has time for ski retorts tat jumps into the conversation you know see that's not a bad idea it would be a way to give back to the community while rebuilding your image prove I'm not a has been Corbin gives me a pained smile without thinking I touch his arm I should have never said that it was before I knew you I'm sorry the truth hurts he admits it does I agree I've certainly gotten my fair share of problems interest flicks in his eyes what kind of problems oops I stepped right into that land mine my mind races to come up with some sort of answer before ski or Jasper start blabbing my business similar to what you're dealing with I say lightly a pesky X want me to take care of him for you Corbin jokes please do skate chimes in Professor bonad is a derelict that's enough I warn ski she rolls her eyes like Corbin said the Truth Hurts Corbin turns to me so your ex is a professor yes his brow Furrow does he work with you he does I answer his Corbin jealous the notion fills me with a curious sense of pleasure his lips vanish into ta lines H maybe I should go to Alabama and and attend a lecture or two that's a fabulous idea ski proclaims you should go as blakeley's boyfriend wh what I blust her that's ridiculous why you helped Corbin by telling the Press you were his girlfriend and then you all kissed what could it hurt for him to go to comfort and pretend to be with you she hardens her jaw it would serve Professor bonehead right for leading you on humiliation Burns through my veins I'd like to shove my napkin down Ski's throat to shut her up the professor has been leading you on Corbin probes me with inquisitive eyes before I can articulate a response ski jumps in you'd better believe it the [ __ ] keeps vaselin between Blakeley and his ex-wife it's pathetic she grunts I clip out my words through clenched teeth I believe the word you're looking for is vacillating she Twirls a hand as she lifts her chin you know what I mean I can't believe that ski is airing my dirty laundry seeing my distress Jasper jumps into the conversation the short of the story is that Bley trusted the wrong man I can certainly relate to that Corbin Huffs his eyes round uh I mean that I trusted the wrong woman he turns to me I'm sorry tears rise in my eyes as I furiously blink them back thanks I look down at my plate no longer hungry pushing my plate aside I fold my hands in my lap Corbin reaches over and squeezes my hand his touch is as comforting as it is surprising you know tat begins this fake relationship thing could work fake relationship my body tenses I'm not sure what this thing between us is but I certainly don't like to think of it as fake I look down at Corbin's hand resting over mine should I pull my hand away from from his Tat's voice turns speculative as he focuses on Corbin it can only help you if the public thinks you've moved on from sedon he looks at me it sounds like it would help you to send a clear message to your ex that you're not taking any more of his crap a smile spreads over his lips it's a win-win situation the two of you hang out together on the cruise pretend to be dating after afterwards we could go to Alabama Corbin could teach a few classes he directs his remarks to skate heck we could even make a sizable donation to your program skate brings her hands together that would be fabulous she trills what do you say see tat prompts Corbin removes his hand from mine the real question we should be asking is how do you feel about this a lopsided grin lifts a corner of his mouth could you handle hanging out with me during the cruise I could let you work out with me he's so darn cute that I can't help but giggle you mean I might actually get to finish a workout his gaze caresses mine maybe if a certain someone doesn't distract you he makes a point of looking at my lips you sure this relationship is fake Jasper Hoots somebody needs to turn down the air conditioner it's getting Mighty hot in here folks stop Clowning Around ski warns giving him another SWAT on the arm my heart beats wildly against my chest I'm not sure what exactly is happening between Corbin and me but there's one thing I do know it's not fake it's very real so real that it's throwing me for a loop Corbin lger is not my type I've always dated intellectual guys maybe that's the draw I need a change from my normal I need some excitement in my life well I'll certainly be getting it with this man more excitement than I would ever need in 10 lifetimes well Corbin props what's the verdict Professor his voice is surprisingly gentle his expression Placid as if he has all the time in the world for me to make a decision the air holds its breath as time halts why do I feel like something significant is happening I suppose it could work I say casually but only if you let me work out with you it's all I can do to hold hold a straight face done he punches out like he scored the deal of the century not so fast choir boy I hold up a finger there is a condition Amusement turns his eyes more gold than green all right doc let's hear it I'm going to need some good seats for that exhibition fight I make a point of glancing at Jasper as I speak the seat request is for him Corbin buls what you're gonna watch the Neanderthals clock one another he clicks his tongue that's a flash knockdown I shake my head a what Jasper translates when a fighter is knocked off his feet due to surprise I lift an eyebrow directing my attention to Corbin wouldn't that be the expectation that I would attend the fight and watch my boyfriend in action seats are no problem Tad interjects his fingers form a gun which he aims at Jasper I got you covered you're going to watch me fight Corbin Muses I think I'm going to like this dating a professor gig I can't help but be amused oh yeah a cheeky smile curls his Li lips yeah he punches out with gusto and then pumps his eyebrows sounds like I'm about to get the 101 on love the 101 on love you are too much I shake my head grinning Corbin reaches for his water glass and proclaims grandly this calls for a toast his eyes soften as he turns to me Here's to Us for a second I'm so absorbed in him that we might as well be the only two at the table I pick up my glass and clink it to his Here's to Us chapter 8 my skin tingles and stretches as I turn my face to the Sun and bask in its warmth this is Paradise in its purest form a gentle breeze rustles my hair as I soak in the soothing sound of rolling waves the scent of coconut from the sunblock invades my senses I want to remember every detail of this Exquisite day my eyes are closed but there's no dozing off for this girl I'm too aware that Corbin is beside me reclining in a lounge chair I can hardly believe any of this is real I'm walking around in a splendid dream dreading the moment when I have to wake up and face reality last night after dinner we all went as a group to watch a comedy show the great thing about the cruise is that live entertainment is offered every night I had feared we might be attacked by those shark reporters we weren't thankfully but we were certainly the object of interest for many of the passengers a few brave souls approached Corbin and asked to take a selfie with him Corbin handled the attention like a pro however after getting repeatedly bombarded I sensed that the strain of being in the spotlight was getting to him after the comedy show ended Tad excused himself saying he wanted to go and enjoy the night life Corbin opted to walk me back to my cabin Jasper and skate were with us the entire time I'm sure they thought they were doing me a favor by hovering close however I was ready for them to give me some space when we got to my door Corbin touched my arm and gave me a peck on the cheek an overwhelming longing came over me and I wanted him to kiss me once again on the lips however I didn't dare suggest it this morning we met in the main lobby bright and early to strike out on our adventure to my surprise and Delight Corbin brought along two bottles of sunblock the same bottles I'd been looking at in the shop SPF 15 and 25 we didn't book an Excursion through the cruise ship but opted to decide what we wanted to do after we got on the island we learned quickly that we were fresh meat for those hoping to book us on an Excursion it was unnerving to have so many strangers offering to take us various places or sell us something after talking back and forth amongst themselves Jasper Corbin and tat decided to go with the guy renting ATVs once we gave the okay the guy and a couple of his buddies who' been waiting nearby shuttled us by ATVs a mile or so up a narrow road to a remote warehouse at first skate and I were trepidacious fearing we were being taken to some secluded location to be robbed or Worse however our fears soon dissolved the man who ran the warehouse was great originally from England he gave us the lay of the land pointing out the best places to go on the island then he showed us how to operate the ATVs and sent us on our way we rented three vehicles one for Jasper and ski one for Corbin and me and one for Tat few things can compare to the rush I experienced as we sped down the winding roads of the island the wind ripping at our clothes my arms firmly fixed around Corbin's tight waist every time we made a turn I felt the movement of the corded muscles in his back it's not hard to suspend reality and pretend that I truly am Corbin's girlfriend as if reading my thoughts he reaches out and grazes my hand with the tips of his fingers his touch zests me with a Restless energy how you doing his voice is lazy with contentment great my smile how could I not be great we're lying on a pristine Beach at a deluxe Resort in St Martin maybe I should pinch myself to make sure this is real nah that would hurt and I'm not into unnecessary pain Corbin's fingers Trail a warm path back and forth over my skin I open my eyes and shift toward him trying not to gawk at his incredible muscles or how his golden skin glistens in the sun I tear my gaze from his muscles and focus on his chiseled face which is just as enticing as the rest of him what is it he asks with a quizzical expression did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Channing Tatum that's as close of a compliment as I dare give him he lifts a corner of his mouth in a smirk is that a good thing yeah I say with an off-handed shrug he pushes out a low chuckle do you always hold your cards so close doc I'm not holding any cards his fingers are still trailing over my skin driving me to distraction he removes his hand and angles so that he can face me full on his gaze moves over me from head to toe with a languid thoroughness that quickens my blood I suck in my stomach wishing that I weren't so pasty white a tan would help minimize my body flaws I'm not fanatical about my body like ski who thinks she has to clog off extra calories every time she takes a bite of something delectable however right now I'm Beren myself for eating that ginormous Walnut fudge brownie topped with ice cream last night and that was after I polished off a slice of lemon iced cake Corbin is not even pretending to be discret about checking me out his admiration is bold and apparent are you always so transparent when you look people over I harumph in mild irritation an easy chuckle rolls from his lips there are worse things than being direct not how I expected him to respond I have to admit there's something admirable about him being such a straight shooter particularly after I've turned myself inside out in an attempt to figure out Reed and his subtle Behavior I suppose that's true you look great by the way thanks I press a self-conscious hand over my stomach did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Jessica Alba really I squeak Jessica Alba that's a high compliment so tell me about Professor bonehead he prompts a startled cackle Clips my throat ski needs to learn to keep her big mouth shut about my personal affairs ski is lying on my right hanging on every word that passes between me and Corbin quit being a brat she Rises up and pinches a plug out of my arm ouch I Yelp rubbing my arm I turn to skat why don't you and Jasper go for a swim skate laughs and miss this interesting conversation thanks but I think I'll stay put she juts her thumb besides Jasper's out cold I'm surprised you haven't heard him snoring figures my brother can sleep anywhere I smirk Corbin sits up and cranes his neck to look past ski is Tad out too ski lowers her sunglasses and peers over at his still form looks like it Tad was out late last night burning the candle at both ends Corbin lowers his voice the poor guy got dumped by his girl a couple of weeks ago he's had a rough time of it and needs all the R&R he can get he touches my arm let's go for a walk gladly I throw ski to smug smile and no you can't tag along she thrusts out her lower Li in a pout fine be that way I think I will I snip as I slide my legs off the lounge chair and dig my toes into the warm sand I pull a cover up from my beach bag and slip it over my head Corbin grabs his T-shirt and puts it on he rises to his feet and we pad side by side across the gleaming white sand to get to the shore my gaze sweeps over the expand of the ocean I've never seen water this turquoise earlier in the day we drove around on the ATVs and explored the island St Martin is unique in that it's two separate countries French and Dutch we then went to a beach that our English friend recommended kopa Coy Bay is secluded and incredibly beautiful with its caves and unique rock formations what we didn't realize is that that it's a nude beach I'd always imagined that only people with perfect bodies would dare go nude how mistaken I was in that regard we got quite the education during our 2 or three hour stay there and finally decided to go to a different location we ended up making our way to the resort where we presently are we ate lunch at an outdoor Cafe and are now lounging on the beach the deadline for report report back to the ship is 400 p.m. it's now 2: p.m. I can see the cruise ship off in the distance docked at the harbor while it looks to be relatively close we estimate that with traffic and the narrow roads it'll take us 40 or so minutes to get back to the port return the ATVs and get back to the ship it would make me feel more comfortable to leave now however tat Jasper and Corbin insist that leaving at 300 p.m. will give us plenty of time what is it with men and them wanting to take things down to the wire Corbin throws me a sideways glance a penny for your thoughts I was just thinking that we should probably go ahead and leave soon to get back to the ship in plenty of time my stomach twists with the worry of getting left behind St Martin is beautiful however I get the impression that it's not a place I'd like to be at night even at this Resort there are signs everywhere warning tourists not to go on the beach at night we'll be fine Corbin says casually like my concerns are completely unfounded he motions at the Splendor before us why are you in such a hurry to leave this tranquil place the only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up up there he stops and turns to face me that's pretty good he purs did you come up with that on your own nah it's from the American philosopher and writer Robert M persc he purses his lips studying me what I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear not wanting to have to bother with my glasses I opted to wear contacts instead okay if I'm being brutal honest I wore contacts because I look prettier without my glasses and I wanted to impress Corbin of course that means that I haven't been able to swim the water looks so enticing that tomorrow I'm planning to put aside my vanity and wear my glasses I suppose the Zen quote would apply if we were on a Mountaintop instead of the beach true I concede his voice takes on the tone of an orator and he lifts his arms like he's delivering a speech to a large audience no man ever steps in the same river twice for it's not the same river and he's not the same man okay not sure how that applies to our conversation me neither but it rolled right off my tongue I scrunch my nose as I search my brain s Socrates nope heraclitus a presocratic philosopher from the city of Ephesus the choir boy knows his Greek philosophers I'm impressed it's the only quote I can remember he admits with a sheepish grin I gave a report about heraclitis in high school he Taps his Temple it's stuck good to know that fighton hasn't pounded out everything from your brain Amusement colors his features you sound like my mom she worries about me getting hurt sounds like a smart woman she is he answers with affection she's the best he tips his head you know you remind me of her a little she's well read and smart like you thanks he thinks I'm smart that's nice to know my stomach tightens as I replay his words Corbin getting injured is a real concern as soon as the fear comes I inwardly chide myself I can't get invested in an MMA fighter fighting is what he does he's a grown man and knows the risks well if something has to stick in your head that's a good quote to remember I think so we go in an ambling Pace enjoying the experience of simply talking and being together tell me more about your mom I prompt he presses his lips together as if compiling his thoughts her name is Mary and she's a shift manager at a small grocery store what about your dad his jaw goes sharp several beats pass before he speaks he left when I was a kid deserted us I'm sorry I say quietly even if I didn't teach psychology I would know from Corbin's reaction that he has some baggage where his dad is concerned of course he would the man deserted him and his mom he throws me a tight smile ancient history I resist the urge to probe deeper and shift gears yesterday you mentioned having stepsisters two of them he looks impressed you were paying attention I tend to do that I respond with a slight smile so that I won't come across as being braggy do you have any siblings I'm an only child there's a sense of loneliness about him that tugs at my heartstrings to be so tough on the outside he strikes me as tender on the inside I connect the dots so your mom remarried she did when I was a teenager his voice softens Carlos is a great guy he takes good care of Mom he Grins and he makes some of the best tamales refried beans and tortillas you'll ever eat is Carlos Hispanic he's from Monterey Mexico did you know that ski is half Mexican I giggle at his astonished expression I know she doesn't sound like it at all her dad is from Mexico and her mom's from Comfort skates about as Southern as a person can get both in her mannerisms and the way she speaks curiosity prickles over me what was it like to grow up in Compton is it as rough as people claim yeah it is I wait for him to expound but he doesn't I'm itching to ask more about his childhood starting with how he got into fighting how should I approach it so he won't get testy before I can articulate any more questions he turns to me so when do I get to hear about your ex when do I get to hear about your ex I counter he quirks a grin here's how I see it he emphasizes each word I know what's going on in your head every time I say something about my past you're psychoanalyzing me that's not true I protest but it's written all over his face that he's not buying it I'm not sure if I should be concerned or impressed that he has pegged me so accurately in such a short period of time okay I'm analyzing you a little I pinch my index finger and thumb leaving an inch of space in between it's what I do I knew it he said say with gusto while we're being so Frank why don't you tell me how you started fighting did it come from you growing up in a rough neighborhood without a father he [ __ ] his head as if considering my questions here's what we'll do you tell me your deep dark secrets first then I'll feel more comfortable opening up to you he speaks as though it's a done deal who does he think he is some King who can make a decree and then have me obey it simply because the words flowed from his lips I rock back my voice shooting up to the Wisps of clouds overhead I'm not going to tell you my secrets we've only known each other for a day either he's completely unaffected by my Outburst or he's also good at holding his cards close come on Doc he draws there has to be something in your bag of quotes that talks about how human relationships aren't limited to the constraints of time can't think of anything offand I talk faster using my hands anyway I'm not Santa Claus carrying around some fuzzy red bag of quotes and tossing them out to the world melodic laughter flows from his throat you sure about that up he taunts he leans into my personal space eyes zinging with laughter I thought that was what all professors of psychology do haha very funny I give him a shove much like skate does to Jasper Jiminy Cricket his arm is Rock Solid and red with muscles what does it say about me that I'm a fan girl crushing on him right now I would love to trace the lines of those bicep muscles ew please tell me I didn't just think that what has gotten into me what were we talking about oh yeah he was bagging on me because I'm a professor my words come out Saucy as I wag my finger in syn I have to put on a good show of being outraged to cover up this ridiculous attraction I suppose this is Poetic Justice what I get for assuming I was above going Gaga over some guy because he's easy on the eyes and puts off pheromones like Nelly Kenzie puts off gossip that's a blanket statement if I've ever heard one his comeback is so fast that it nearly gives me Whiplash kind of like how all fighters are uncivilized neanderthals my eyes fly I open wide that's not fair I spin around to face him you're getting me back for making that jab about you for the record I said what I did before I knew who you were I stare him down with a look that says don't push me buster uhhuh his lips quiver before a pleased smile breaks over his rugged face it's kind of fun getting under your skin he's playing in me like a fiddle okay I deserved that I admit with a sheepish grin my friends and family often Raz me about my Sharp tongue they call me a brainiac who thinks she knows everything I suppose there's an element of Truth to that in fact I have to re in that part of me when I'm around Reed because my sarcasm is lost on him those times when I can't res resist the urge to be cheeky he gives me a faint smile tinged with condescension as if to say I'm so Above This childish behavior that it's not even on my radar I've always thought it was a good thing that Reed doesn't go tit fortat with me my logic has been that we balance one another out that our differences make us stronger however I'm enjoying the verbal sparring with Corbin quite Frank it's downright exhilarating Corbin can certainly dish it out and he can hold his own he pauses in his tracks retrieves his phone from the side pocket of his shorts and starts punching on the screen Corbin fascinates me his behavior is totally unpredictable what are you doing I demand in be Amusement finding a quote about human connections I crinkle my nose as laughter circles my throat you can't be serious heck yeah I am what are you typing in to find the quote I peer over his arm at the screen he talks as he types human relationships are not limited to the constraints of time you are crazy I Snicker maybe he slings back with a reckless glint I have been told that a time or two he Chuckles then again bucking the system has been my Saving Grace in the past so Why Stop Now are you referring to how you got into fighting I asked with a hint of eagerness he gives me a wise look that story is for a later time my hand goes to my hip you're enjoying dangling the bait he grins in response a second later Voice rings with Victory okay here we go there are no constraints on the human mind no walls around the human Spirit no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect wow I utter that's profound who said it Ronald Reagan I let the meaning of the quote sink into my brain I guess I'll have to add that to my bag of quotes it's deep something that I'll have to ponder over at a later time when I'm not so Twitter pated over a tall strapp and MMA fighter he pushes out a short chuckle before rewarding me with a smile as brilliant as the glittering ocean who's stretching her legs into the far distance before Fading Into The Horizon he shoves his phone back into his pocket as Advent lights his features see our possibilities are endless he proclaims his voice carrying on the salty air and just because we've known each other for a day doesn't mean that we don't have a connection he probes me with an intensity that fires my cells you can feel it too I can I admit quietly he touches my arm his expression going tender and we shared a kiss my pulse bumps up several notches as my words come out as light and frothy as the foamy waves nipping at our toes that was for the reporters I hear you he size thank you for that by the way you saved me his words ring with significance you're welcome but I'm sure you would have handled the Press just fine on your own I can tell from his expression that what I'm saying is right on the money Corbin has no trouble holding his own on any playing field and he knows it all the same I appreciate what you did his compliment infuses me with warmth as we share a smile my breath hitches when he steps closer when do we get to kiss for us he trails a finger up and down my arm Rippling an awareness over my skin that goes down to my toes I lose myself in the depths of his penetrating eyes Corbin is so intense so alive and in the moment being with him makes me feel as though I can let go of some of my restraints instinctively my lips part as he lowers his face to mine before our lips touch I hear movement and voices we pull apart and turn to see three girls in their early 20s making a beine across the beach hello the one in the front begins in a bubbly tone as she flaps her hand in a wave we saw you from a distance and recognized you she eyes Corbin with a dyed adoration that drives an unexpected Spike of jealousy through the center of my heart the girl is is tall with long blonde hair both she and her companion are clad in string bikinis that leave little to the imagination their skinny bodies are perfectly toned and tanned they are so polished that they might have stepped straight out of a Beachbody commercial can we get a selfie with you the girl asks of course Corbin is going to say yes what else can he do he does something something surprising he looks at me to get my approval go ahead I say dowly a friendly smile tips Corbin's lips as he turns his attention back to the girl sure he shrugs she steps close presses her body against his and holds up her phone smiling brightly she snaps the picture the other girls take their turns getting photos me meanwhile I stand watching the whole thing like an old pair of shoes that has been traded in for shiny new pairs there's no way I can compete with these girls nor do I want to they look like they're barely out of high school around the same age as my students we're looking forward to your exhibition fight the blonde gushes Corbin looks surprised you're on the cruise ship we are are another girl answers with a wide grin maybe we could plan a time to get together the lead blonde says shyly if a cartoonist were sketching a caricature of me I'd be red-faced with steam coming out of my ears how could that Floy ask Corbin out with me standing right here after seeing these drop dead gorgeous girls Corbin will surely dump me like a a hot potato for one of them I glanced down at my cover up thinking how it suddenly looks too baggy I'm a nerdy Frump Corbin glances at me for one flash of a moment we catch eyes the corner of his jaw flicks letting me know that he's uncomfortable he has that same look he had when talking to the reporters I'm surprised that I can read him so clearly he's wearing a Sol ious mask while keeping the bulk of him hidden away a new revelation Dawns on me making me deliriously happy Corbin isn't interested in these girls not even remotely so sorry but I'll be spending the cruise with my girl Corbin throws me a crooked grin that has intimate written all over it the girls turned to me as if just now realizing that I'm here the blonde tosses daggers at me with her eyes somebody needs to tell Miss Beachbody that the extra servant of snark doesn't look good on her she turns back to Corbin A seductive smile tilt in her lips you don't know what you're missing she Chimes when Corbin doesn't respond she sigh in resignation well thanks for the Selfies I guess we'll see you at the fight with that the blonde and her Entourage trapes away Corbin winces as he rubs his neck sorry about that I can't resist throwing a heated glare in the direction of the departing girls why are you apologizing you didn't do anything actually he did do something he claimed me as his girl although I am pretending to be his girlfriend so I shouldn't read too much into the situation still the protective way he spoke the words made me think he meant what he said and we did almost kiss for us before we were so rudely interrupted I don't know how you can stand all of that attention I spout it's not easy he admits he motions up the shore in the direction we were going before getting stopped shall we continue I hug my arms we should probably head back this thing with Corbin is confusing the heck out of me well it's nice to have something else other than Reed to dwell on I don't want to trade one problem for another Corbin's a celebrity and has people fawning over him we live on opposite sides of the country this is a pretend romantic relationship I don't need to blur the lines I glanced back at the ship in the harbor I don't want to cut it close getting back the corners of his lips turned down in disappointment you never told me about your ex I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that later maybe if I keep putting him off he'll lose interest in the topic he gives me a perceptive look I know what's happening here what I asked innocently those girls threw you off all of that agulation crap doesn't mean a thing it's not just them he searches my face then what emotion bubbles in my throat as I swallow it back down and stare out at the water try as I might I can't keep the tremble out of my voice as I try to articulate my feelings I've been hurt before and I don't think I can can go through it again whoa who says anything about getting hurt he throws me a lopsided grin as he motions from me to him we've got a good thing going here you can't mess it up because you're afraid I'm not afraid I harp he lifts an eyebrow in a surly challenge my success in the cage has more to do with reading the body language of my opponent over anything he might might say to me he looks me in the eye right now everything about you screams that you're afraid it gives me no pleasure to admit that he can see right through me okay so what if I am my throat thickens I just came out of a bad relationship I can't jump into something else at the snap of a finger especially when I don't even know what the two of us are is this thing between us fake or real ew I sound so desperate I can't believe I just did a DTR I mumble he eyes me with Amusement what's a DTR it's a term my students often use Define the relationship ah he Chuckles I don't dare point out that many a guy has run for the hills because the girl was too quick to try and pin him down with a commitment Amusement touches his features what do you want us to be at least he's not running yet what do you want us to be he looks thoughtful I suppose I'd like to get to know you see where things go is that so bad I consider his words they sound reasonable enough I guess not although we live on opposite ends of the country so it's doubtful that anything lasting could come of this it could all be a colossal waste of time leaving us emptier inside than we already are he smiles are you always so Grim call it what you will but I prefer to be pragmatic he looks down and shuffles the sand with his feet I can think of another name for it he says in a low tone what's that I frown not liking where this is going he lifts his gaze to mine a pessimist seriously I sputter now you're judging me I throw up my hands you're unbelievable no judgment he says evenly we're just having a conversation ah hard laugh riddles my throat is that what you call this yeah I like having open discussions is that such a bad thing tense silence stretches between us all I'm asking is that you don't make any snap decisions let's just enjoy the next few days and see where the road takes us his eyes flick with humor as Reagan so wisely said there are no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect wow I can't believe you're using that against me he shrugs just being pragmatic okay I hear you loud and clear a begrudging smile breaks over my lips he gives me a tentative look as his voice goes husky do I get that kiss now not on your life I harumph as I turn and walk briskly up the sand to get back to our group hold up he calls as he hurries to catch up chapter 9 as we near our group I halt in my tracks what's going on Corbin asks I'm not sure I utter trying to figure fure out what to make of the three local women who are busy at work one is giving tat a shoulder and neck rub another is massaging Jasper's feet and the other woman is braid in skat's hair Corbin and I look at one another my expression radiates astonishment whereas Amusement is written all over his handsome face well it certainly seems like everyone managed to keep themselves entertained while we were gone he surmises with a chuckle I guess what in the heck possessed jper and ski to let these strangers work on them it strikes me as a huge invasion of privacy what's going on I ask as Corbin and I step up to them is this your friend the older woman working on Skate asks in a sing song voice that's rich and melodic it is Skate answers the older woman looks at the younger girl who's rubbing Jasper's feet silent information passes between them as the younger girl jumps up let me do your hair she hurries over to me takes my arm and attempts to stir me to an empty lounge chair no thanks I'm good the last thing I want is to have my hair braided I I glance at the ship we need to be getting back there's really no time you have plenty of time to get back the girl counters sit down and I'll let you pick out which color beads you want with a wide smile that showcases pearly white teeth she says you look beautiful like B deric I don't think so I say in a firm tone Jasper waves a hand oh come on sis don't be a spoil sport we're on vacation relax he urges I don't find getting my hair braided relaxing I counter bunching my brows I throw him a glare since when are you so agreeable about getting your feet rubbed who is this man who has suddenly replaced my brother never would I have imagined that Jasper would go for a foot massage we've had people hounding us all day trying to either get us to buy something or go on an Excursion I can't imagine what must have transpired to get Jasper to let some strange woman rub his feet or braid sk's hair ski on the other hand is so naive and good that she's taken in much easier she would have a dying duck fit if I said that out loud but it's true Tad talked me into it Jasper says at that tat grins ah situation explained Jasper succumbed to peer pressure from his Newfound MMA buddy sit down the older woman orders as she flaps her hand we'll make you look so pretty she CS Blakeley hates people working on her SK says with a note of apology as she hands the older woman another bead she doesn't even like getting pedicures or manicures it's all I can do to get her to the beauty salon to get her hair cut she's right I don't enjoy any of those things getting my haircut is a necessity that I've come to terms with but I certainly don't have to do all the other fluff stuff that my friends love doing I glance at Corbin who's wearing a ginormous grin what the doc doesn't like doing all the typical girly stuff he Muses I'm learning a lot about you his eyes light with teasing oh quit harassing me I blust her however I'm more amused than irritated at his razing you would look cute with your hair braided in the island style Corbin quiffs with a taunting grin I don't think so I harp folding my arms over my chest and rooting my feet into the sand smiling blindly as if oblivious to my protests the girl hustles me over to a chair and practically pushes me down we'll just do the crown her expression turns pleading I'll make you look so pretty she says softly there there's something vulnerable about the young girl that calls to me she's a wave with large timid eyes and stringy hair she can't be much older than 16 I wonder what her life is like going off her dirty t-shirt and men's basketball shorts she doesn't come from money are the other women her relatives is the girl on holiday will she go back to school after the break is over I have no idea how the school system works on the island go for it SK encourages as she Twirls her hand YOLO YOLO I grunt skate loves to pull the you only live once card when she's trying to cajo me into doing something the woman rubbing Tat's back turns her attention to Corbin I'll work on you next she promises thanks but I'm good Corbin says pleasantly excuse me I pipe in but if I have to endure this torture then so do you I pin him with a challenging look I see how you are misery loves company he draws he shrugs in AC Ence my lady has spoken I'm next delicious tingles Ripple through me he called me his lady skate throws me such a goofy grin that she might as well be shouting Blakeley has a new boyfriend GH rocks settle in my stomach I don't like having my personal life on display I can't believe I'm doing this I muttered to skate how long is this going to take I turned to look at the young girl who's selecting beads from a square plastic container would you like white beads she asks her tone mimicking the sing song manner of the older woman white is fine I answer flatly I don't care what color the beads are they're coming out of my hair the second I get back to my cabin the girl grabs a comb and begins pulling it through my hair how long will this take I ask again not long she assures me skate gives me a warning look be nice she urges in a low tone I am I Grumble 30 minutes later the women are still working on skats and my hair the braids are so tight that they're digging into my scalp causing it to itch like crazy call me a party pooper but I can't wait to get these wretched beads out of my hair I'm sure I look ridiculous with the crown of my hair skinned back the only consolation is knowing that some of the money will go to help this young girl hopefully our precious time is trickling away irritation presses on me with a hard stamp am I I the only one worried about getting back to the ship on time I'm not great at judging time but the sun is sitting lower on the horizon what time is it I ask ski she looks at Jasper what time is it hun she asks braily a qu to 3 he answers we need to leave soon the hint of urgency in Jasper's tone causes my blood to pump faster how much longer is this going to take I ask the young girl five more minutes she assures me as she uses the flat of her hand to press down on the beads that are woven into my hair 10 agonizing minutes later and she's still working as is the older woman Braiden skat's hair they seem to be oblivious to our situation and how we're clearly Running Out of Time Jasper Cor and tat are now on their feet and packing up our things urgency fires through me as I look at ski we've got to leave now I glan at the ship in the harbor it might as well be a world away all I can think is that we're cutting it down to the wire even if you're not done we have to go I pull away from the girl and stand ski i bark we're not going to make it back to the ship in time if we don't leave in the next few minutes you're fine the older woman says in a plating tone I have no intention of getting into a discussion with the older woman skate I say in exasperation you're right ski agrees we need to leave she says to the woman as she stands sk's hair is only 2/3 of the way braided she looks AB SD with part of her hair wound up in the tight braids and the other part hanging loose I'm sure I look even worse how much do we owe you Jasper asks reaching into the pocket of his shorts for his wallet $1,000 the older woman says my jaw gapes that's outrageous Corbin frowns $1,000 the woman repeats with rigid determination Tad curses under his breath we let you give the massages and do the braids because we were trying to help you out you said you had kids at home that need feeding his voice goes razor sharp now you're trying to rip us off I don't think so he pulls out his wallet and counts out a series of bills $300 is highway robbery but it should do the trick you don't have to cover it all dude Jasper protests in several quick steps tat marches over and slaps the money into the older woman's hand yeah I do man I got us into this he throws the woman a disgusted look I was trying to help you out but you're running a scam he scoffs I lock eyes with the young girl guilt Shadows her dark eyes as she averts her gaze let's go Tad Clips his jaw hard as glass we've got a ship to catch I gather my towel and beach bag as we rush across the sand to get to our ATVs I glance back my stomach lurches the women are walking several Paces behind us the older one is on her cell phone the desire to get to the ATVs and back to the ship is overwhelming Corbin is walking beside me the women are following us I say in a low worried tone just keep walking He commands in the tone of one preparing himself for a possible battle my skin prickles with unease do you think the woman is calling other people to come that would be my guess he answers Corbin confirming my fears rattles me as I Quicken my Pace I glance at Jasper and skate who also look concerned we make our way across the beach into the parking lot of the resort where our ATVs are parked my heart slams against my rib cage when we spot three guys standing in front of our ATVs I look back to see the three women still behind us the knowledge snaps through my brain with a terrifying certainty that the women are part of a ring stay behind me Corbin warns there's a dangerous edge to his voice you too Jasper orders skate skate and I move close together as Corbin Jasper and tat Take the Lead do the men have knives or guns we're in a foreign country thankfully we left our passports on the ship for safee keeping I glanced back over my shoulders relieved that the women have fallen back they're standing half a foot ball field length away watching good afternoon tap begins pleasantly he motions at the ATVs you're in our way the tallest of the men is around Corbin and Jasper's height he's muscular with colorful tattoos running the lengths of his arms his long Raven hair is braided similarly to mine in skats he plants his feet in a Battle Stance his hands balling into fists you owe my auntie $700 he says in the same sing song Island tone that the women used we paid them more than a fair price tat counters now I'll kindly ask you to move out of our way braided hair smirks and turns to his companions one is short and thickly S said the other is medium height and skinny all three men look to be in their early 20s did you hear that man this dude thinks he can rob auntie and then push us around his expression hardens as he turns back to Tad not going to happen pay the money or else a silent prayer flits through my mind please help us to get get out of this situation and to stay safe I take a quick scan of the parking lot hoping to see more people or a security guard but it's empty except for us the men and the women who are standing back and watching I'll ask you once more to get out of the way Tad says my heart drops when braided hair whips out enough knife and crouches into a fighting position the guys behind him ball their fists oh no skate whimpers as she grabs my arm my stomach roils as I keep uttering silent prayers braided hair wields the pocket knife and lunges at tat in a lightning flash movement tat sidesteps his attempt he wrenches braided hair's arm behind him and causes him to drop the knife the thickly set guy charges at Corbin at the same time the skinny guy goes for Jasper I watch in awe as Corbin blocks the guy's punch with such a neat move that it might have been choreographed a moment later Corbin socks him in the jaw the guy staggers back he regains his footing and comes at Corbin again this time Corbin's side swipes the guy's feet dropping him to the ground like a block of lead Jasper and the skinny guy trade blows before Jasper Jabs the guy in the eye with his elbow and does a side kick that lands the guy on the ground tat kicks braided hair's knife several feet across the parking lot and Yanks on his arm braided hair doubles over and Yelps in pain you broke my arm man he whines I'll break more than that if you don't stay out of our way tat horns shoving braided hair forward braided hair stumbles and then straightens back up his face Twisted with rage he goes for Tat again tat gives him a swift jab to the nose sending blood spraying out braided hair doubles over holding his nose the other two guys are still on the ground called the others braided hair screams across the parking lot to the women let's go Orbin barks that's all the promp and Ski and I need holding our bags to our chests we Scamper to the ATVs and climb on the engines Roar to life as Corbin Jasper and tad back out the ATVs my arms wrapped tightly around Corbin's waist I hold on for dear life as he speeds behind tat and Jasper out of the parking lot I brave a glance back to see braided hair still holding his nose the other two guys Lumber to their feet we RAC down the road weaving in and out of traffic I look back over my shoulder fearing that the others who braided hair mentioned might be behind us by the time we get to the port it's 10 minutes till 4: Corbin and Jasper let ski and me off the ATVs run to the ship Corbin directs tell them we're coming we have to drop off the ATVs we won't be far behind you nodding we do as he says we reach the ship entrance and wait our turn to pass through security and a metal detector excuse me I say loudly to the man who's studying a screen to examine the contents of our items as they pass through a scanner I need to talk to someone in security talk to a crew member inside he says in a bored tone fine I Grumble biting back my my Angry retort the second we're allowed to pass into the lobby area I look around for a crew member I flag a guy walking past hey I be in we're still waiting for three members of our party they're running a few minutes behind they had to return our ATVs I explain he looks me up and down his gaze settling on my partially braided hair I'm sure he thinks I'm a loon I'm sorry ma'am but the captain won't wait for anyone he closes the gang way at 4:00 sharp he lifts his arm and looks at his wristatch 2 minutes from now you can't leave them skate cries tears pulling in her eyes we were attacked by a group of Thieves the guy blinks I I'm sorry but the rules still stand let me handle this I say under my breath as I catch hold of her arm nodding she clamps her lips shut I straighten to my full height and use my most authoritative tone you're going to want to wait for these passengers exasperation coats the guy's face it's not a matter of wanting ma'am the captain will close the gang way he doesn't wait for stragglers under any circumstances I lean close enunciating every word through clenched teeth if you want the exhibition fight on Saturday to go on as scheduled you'd better call the captain and explain the situation Corbin Ledger aka the choir boy is one of those so-called stragglers the guy rocks back blinking fast I'll call him now he says as he walks briskly over to another crew member and Whispers into the older man's ear several seconds later they come over to us I understand that Corbin Ledger got detained the older man begins quietly yes he should be here soon he and two other members of our party had to return the ATVs that we rented we were attacked by thieves skate interjects her voice shrill that's why we got derailed the man gives ski a funny look detained I correct that's why we got detained I know Ski's trying to help but she's making things worse now the men surely think we're off in the head the older man pulls a walkie-talkie from his side moves a few Paces away and talks into it he steps back and announces the captain will wait five more minutes sk's eyes widen as her words rush out but what if it takes longer then they'll have to travel to the next port and rejoin the cruise tomorrow I'm sorry the man says that's the best we can do my throat constricts to the size of a toothpick as I swallow I hate the idea of leaving Corbin Jasper and tat on that island especially not knowing if the thieves could be lurking around to retaliate skate shakes her head tears filling her eyes I knew it was a mistake to let those women braid my hair and give the guys massages she says hoarsely her hand going up to touch her hair the older Man's eyes widen I can only imagine what he must be thinking when ski mentioned the word massages a hysterical laugh bubbles in my throat the women gave the guys neck and foot massages while we were at the beach I clarify the older man nods in understanding I'm sorry you got taken in Jasper told me it would be okay to help the women skate whimpers it will be okay I reassure skate as I offer the men appreciative Smiles thanks for your help I just wish there was more that we could do the older man says good luck to you both with a Curt nod he and the younger crew memb stride away skate and I go over and watch as the last of the passengers file through the security area ski clasps and unclasps her hands her face white with apprehension I may be better than ski at portraying a calm persona but my heart is hammering out a fast beat against my ribs we wait after what seems like an eternity I catch a glimpse of Corbin's dark blond hair at the same time ski lets out a cry of relief the second Jasper gets through security she runs and throws her arms around him we were so worried she breathes into his neck that was a close one Jasper admits with a wise Corbin steps up with a wide grin Caught In the Heat of the Moment I fling my arms around his neck he Chuckles in Surprise before encircling my waist with his strong arms this is a nice welcome he murmurs I'm just glad yall made it in time his muscles are taut against my skin our bare legs touching everything about this Fierce Warrior draws me in he pulls back so that he can peer into my eyes thanks to you the guys at security told me you got the captain to wait a sideways grin tugs at his mouth of course of course when the guys realized who I am they insisted that we take a few selfies a choral Falls from my lips what I fume while you were doing a photo off with your fans ski and I were waiting on the other side sweating bullets that you wouldn't get here in time I'm keenly aware of his arms around my waist his nearness ignites every inch of me never have I been this physically attracted to a man before I never realized these feelings were possible his expression turns sheepish sorry about that it's okay I say with a long sigh I'm just glad you're okay I suppress a shutter I was worried what would happen if yall got stranded on the island and those thieves came looking for you I was worried about that too he admits I had halfway expected him to respond to my worries with some Macho comment I'm impressed that he's being straight with me I search his rugged face relieved to see that it's unmarred I have to fight the urge to touch his cheek to run my finger along the defined edge of his jaw he's a fighter how is it that his face is not scarred then again now that I'm super close to him I notice a hairline scar on his chin also his nose is slightly crooked like it has been broken a few times his Battle Scars only add to his attractiveness earlier I didn't see him get hit but everything happened so fast that I couldn't be sure that he didn't get clocked how are your hands did they get scratched or bruised I've had worse he says offhandedly of course he has he fights for a living thanks for being concerned about me a pleased smile tugs at his lips somebody has to watch out for you is the first thing that falls from my lips the moment slows as his voice goes husky I'm glad that somebody is you the significance of his words are a much needed reality check I can't allow myself to get swept away in a whirlwind Cruise romance with a celebrity I I don't do casual relationships a droll grin tips his lips is this where you withdraw into yourself I startle how is it that he can read me so well I'm not withdrawing into myself I snip his smile widens his moss green eyes sparkling you are he taunts okay I blust her so what if I am I can't put my heart on the line and have it stomped to Smither I'm not sure why I'm getting so testy all of a sudden what is it that I want from Corbin he's already told me that he wants us to spend time together to see where this goes maybe I'm still reeling from our heroin experience my nerves are firing all over the place trying to release the adrenaline also it scares me that I'm already so invested in Corbin should I be worried at how quickly my affections are transferring to him we just met yesterday for crying out loud yes I should be concerned very concerned well I don't want to spend my life alone I'm not a clinging Vine I'm a hardworking professional woman who will be just fine on her own if that's what fate dishes onto my wa the edges of his eyes tighten just because you've been hurt in the past doesn't mean that I'm going to hurt you I've been hurt too but I'm willing to give you a chance you should extend the same courtesy to me I'm not used to someone using such profound Logic on me how can I argue with that it occurs to me that we're sinking into conversation much too deep deep given our current circumstances I look around and spot a group of men and women who are talking excitedly amongst themselves and throwing glances at Corbin one woman has her phone out videoing For Better or Worse Corbin attracts attention wherever he goes I make a point of cutting my eyes at the group maybe we should continue this later when we have more privacy we can do that his eyes cut into mine just be prepared for some straight talk I laugh in surprise I can do that glad we got that settled he pauses a wicked grin tugging at his lips in the meantime should we give those folks something to wag their tongues about anticipation circles my spine when his gaze drops to my lips after all you are my girlfriend he leans close causing my breath to Hitch this is a first he murmurs what I whisper I've never kissed a girl with braids before a cackle circles my throat if you ever get tired of fighting you could do standup comedy he rewards me with a large smile that stretches from ear to ear here I believe you just gave me a compliment doc I suppose I did unable to resist the temptation to touch his face any longer I remove my hands from his neck and Trace the line of his prominent cheekbone his eyes deepen heightening the green as his lips take mine I meld into him as our mouths move together all of the tension from earlier gushes out and mixes with my passion for Corbin the clearing of a throat causes us to pull back my chest Falls up and down in Rapid succession as I turn to see the older crew member who helped me earlier sorry to interrupt Mr Ledger the captain would like to speak with you about the Skirmish you had earlier with the thieves of course Corbin nods reluctantly he lowers his hands from my waist and steps back I can escort you to see the captain now the man offers sure thing I'll get my manager to go to Corbin surveys the area Tat's over there talking to Jasper and skate I point Corbin waves them over that was some kiss Jasper says to me heat rushes into my cheeks I got caught up in the moment it didn't even occur to me me that Jasper and ski were watching what has gotten into me Jasper eyes Corbin star fighter or not you hurt my little sis and I'll kill you seriously I sputter you're embarrassing me bro you've got to respect a man looking out for his sister Corbin counters don't worry I won't hurt her he extends his hand to Jasper who clasps it you've got some impressive moves Corbin says he does Tad grins so much so that I might have to consider recruiting him he Strokes his chin the fireman has a nice ring to it this guy could do some real damage especially if Angel got a hold of him Jasper thrusts out his chest grinning really ski makes a face don't get any ideas I'm not having you locked away in some cage fighting people he wouldn't be locked in tat says well not exactly he laughs the captain wants to talk to us about the Skirmish Corbin says to tat it's then that I realize that there are blood splatters on Tat's t-shirt they probably came from when tat punched the guy in the nose the sight of the blood brings back all of the unpleasant pleasantness we're lucky that we came out of the situation as well as we did a prayer of gratitude goes through my mind warmth rustles through me letting me know that my prayers were answered tat straightens his shoulders as he looks at the crew member Let's Do It Corbin touches my arm I'll see you at dinner afterwards we can have that talk sounds great see you in a bit we share a smile before before he turns to leave his Li body moves with the fluid Grace of a dancer my gaze takes in the outline of his broad shoulders noting how that even with a baggy t-shirt his back tapers into his waist his legs are lean and tan aren't you something skate jeers what my cheeks flame she clucks her tongue kissing Cor been in public you're turning into quite the rebel oh hush I got caught up in the moment uhhuh you got caught up in something all right she gives me a shrewd look you like him a lot I lift my chin so what if I do isn't that what you wanted for me to meet someone on the cruise she nibbles on her lower lip yeah I just never dreamt that it would be a celebrity are you sure you're ready for that kind of life it was brutal when those reporters came around after Henry left me his money I know I was there remember Miss given gnaw at my insights and to answer your question I'm not sure what I'm ready for I admit she nods in understanding if anyone knows how it feels to fall for the wrong guy it's ski of course Jasper wasn't the wrong guy ski just had to realize how great she and Jasper could be together is that what's happening to me the big difference is that ski and Jasper were best friends who'd known each other for a lifetime I've only known Corbin for 24 hours sure he seems enticing right now but that could change with time he could be like fish fresh ious Frost for the first few days in the fridge and then it starts to stink a humorless laugh scratches my throat Corbin Ledger isn't remotely my type skate wrinkles her nose I know I wouldn't have put yall together in a million years she dips her head and yet y all do look good together her words LIF my spirits you think so I do she says decisively well on a positive note I haven't given Reed a second thought all day my words are a revelation filling me with a renewed sense of hope a large smile stretches over her face you know what I call that what progress she punches out as she links her arm through mine let's go get these horrible beads out of our ha Amen to that I told Jasper that the Braiden and massage thing wasn't going to end well Sheen lament but he said just let her braid your hair what can it hurt if I'd been there I would have put the kibos on that faster than you can blink I'm sure you would have too bad you were off gallivanting with your fighter smile for your audience skate prompts with a sugary smile as we passed by the group that was watching Corbin earlier now they're fixated on me it takes all the torque I can summon to force a tight smile which I'm sure looks more like I'm imitating the Grinch better get used to it skate Whispers in my ear you're the new it girl great I haveu I sure hope Corbin is worth all of this time will tell skate Chimes yep time will tell I say mostly to myself chapter 10 just as I feared it was brutal taking the beads out it took me over an hour to get my hair untangled and combed through my hair felt like it was breaking into pieces as I pulled each bead out I'm sure the process caused split ends I made sure to apply extra conditioner and leave it on an extra amount of time to help repair the damage it took poor ski over two hours to get her beads out and she'll have to get her hair trimmed as soon as we get back home during dinner Corbin and tat told us about their meeting with the captain he wanted a rundown of everything that happened along with detailed descriptions of the women and our attackers so he could relay the information to the authorities on the island in the hope that they could curtail anything of the like from happening to other tourists Jasper was impressed that the captain would go to such lengths to find and stop the perpetrators tat then went on to explain that since tourism is the main source of income for the island the authorities would take great pains to make sure the island is safe especially in Resort areas tat followed this up by saying that the captain has a vested interest in wanting to keep his passengers safe especially when they're VIPs Jasper added winking at Corbin Corbin squirmed in his seat and played down the comment arguing that the captain would have been equally concerned about every passenger regardless of their status I didn't have the heart to point out that the crew members were ambivalent of about our situation until realizing that the choir boy from Compton was involved the fact that Corbin is uncomfortable with his Fame makes him even more endearing I throw him a sideways glance as we share a smile an electric current jolts through me when he reaches for my hand and links his fingers through mine his knuckles are raw from the Skirmish earlier when I questioned if he was injured he played it all what kind of man remains totally unruffled after something like that if it had happened to read he'd probably be Reeling for weeks until his therapist could help him work through the trauma for Corbin the fight was everyday business there's something impressive about Corbin's old school resilience I like how his callous hand engulfs mine he makes me feel so dainty and petite Reed is tall but super slim I sometimes feel a bit thick compared to Reed especially since I have my fair share of Curves Corbin and I still haven't had our indepth conversation after dinner ski insisted that we all go as a group to watch karaoke so here we sit I'm no dummy I can see the wheels turning in Ski's crafty head she thinks she's going to talk me into performing but there's no way I'm getting up on that stage we've listened to a dozen people sing so far I'm starting to wonder how much longer we'll remain in the lounge I'm craving some alone time with Corbin I want to get to know him on a personal level to find out what makes him tick I need to know why he started fighting and what he hopes to accomplish with his life a smile touches my lips I suppose I'm guilty as charged I do want to psychoanalyze him I can't help it you know how Rumple stilt can spin straw into gold well psychology is the method I use to turn the chaos of life into order the realization presses on me like a bag of cement that every passing day of the cruise brings me closer to that dreaded moment when I'll have to part ways with Corbin whereas the prospect of spending four nights in five days on a cruise seemed painfully long to me at the beginning time is flying by at lightning speed I only have two and a half days left with Corbin and the bulk of one of those days will be taken up with him getting ready for his fight on New Year's Eve the cruise ends the following Day meaning that I probably won't get to see Corbin on Sunday for more than a few minutes right before we Dart off to the airport to catch our flights home he's planning to visit Comfort to help out with skat Center but that's not the same as having him around on a daily basis I can't help but wonder how I'm going to view Reed when I get back home will my poll to him be lessened or severed all together it's absurd to think that a few days spent with a man like Corbin could reshape my feelings for Reed which developed over an extended period of time the quote that Corbin recited rushes through my mind no man ever steps in the same river twice for it's not the same river and he's not the same man right now it's impossible for me to know how I'll feel once this is over all I know at this moment is that it boggles my mind to contemplate how alive I feel when I'm with Corbin or how he's coming to mean a great deal to me even after having known him a scarily short amount of time maybe time truly is irrelevant when it comes to Human Relationships there are some people you can be around a lifetime and yet never really know them for instance I don't understand why Reed is hot one minute then cold the next every time I come to terms with him going back to Cresta so that he can provide a stable home life for his kids he pops back into my life and then the hurt starts all over again the woman with short curly red hair on stage finishes her rendition of girls just want to have fun by Cindy laer like the other performers before her the woman has Perfect Pitch I clap along with the audience as she offers a quick curtsy before scampering off the stage the DJ a Burly guy in his early 20s goes onto the stage to announce the next performer as the DJ leaves the stage the next performer steps up to the microphone and sings something from Lionel Richie his sound is smooth and professional the man certainly knows how to perform just as those before him I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly it's not the entertainment that's the problem it's me I'm tempted to suggest to Corbin that we leave however I don't want to come across as too forward maybe it's how I was brought up but I like to be pursued by the guy rather than the other way around Corbin has enough women throwing themselves at him he doesn't need me leading his fan club my legs are getting restless something similar happened on the plane I had to get up and walk around a couple of times so I wouldn't go nuts I Bob my knee up and down to release some of the tension sensing my angst Corbin leans close and Whispers into my ear how you doing his breath is a warm tickle on my skin that rolls me in a wave of dizziness for an instant all thoughts fly right out of my brain then I realized that he asked me a question I roused myself into action my words spilling out like potatoes tumbling from a torn bag I'm good I throw him a reassuring smile for good measure he Scopes me with a shrewd gaze which I swear has the power to see into my soul did anyone ever tell you that you're a terrible liar my eyes go round as I turn to him what he makes a point of looking at my knee that's working like a sewing machine I lower my heel forcing my leg to be still are you ready to get out of here he murmurs a thrill of anticipation runs through me yes my mind shouts finally it's all I can do to keep my expression impassive as I shrug I guess we could leave if you want to he Chuckles softly how about this we'll stay for a couple more songs and then we'll sneak out what about the rest of our group I'm sure they're capable of carrying on without us I can tell from how he speaks the words and the amused expression on his chiseled face that he knows I'm chomping at the bit to leave heck he probably knows that I'm craving some alone time with him my desire to be with Reed would typically fill me with self-loathing with Corbin it's different I'm living out some sort of wish fulfillment where I can throw caution to the wind and simply be in the moment sounds great relief spritzes through me two more songs I can handle that I sit back in my seat and focus on our clasped hands savoring the warmth flowing from Corbin's skin into mine he Strokes his thumb across my skin fan in a rapturous fervor through my blood when the guy finished fines the DJ gets up to announce the next performer I'm only halfway listening mostly I'm too busy pondering over the intense attraction that Corbin elicits from me and how I can hardly wait until we're alone uh at least as alone as we can be on a crowded ship maybe we'll take a long stroll on the deck and gaze up at the stars the Romantic in me swounds at the thought an aching warmth ribbons my insides as I imagine what it would be like to kiss Corbin without anyone around to really kiss him holding nothing back the two kisses we've shared with the world watching have been incredible I can only imagine how Exquisite they will be when it's just us next up we'll have Corbin and Blakeley singing I've Had the Time of My Life The DJ announces into the microphone before crossing the stage and going back to sit down Behind the Music Booth I startle my bones nearly shaken out of my skin as my brain replays what the DJ said I turn to Corbin who's wearing a gargantuan grin what I shriek no way am I getting up there anger streak through me this has to be skates doing I withdraw my hand from Corbin and clutch the arms of my chair come on Corbin draws his Jade eyes glittering like polished emeralds he leans into my personal space wagging his eyebrows if I can do it so can you I don't do karaoke I Harum wait till I get hold of SK I'm going to ring her traitorous neck I'm sure she thinks this is so funny a knowing smile waffles over his lips that's not what ski tells me just as I thought Corbin is sitting on my right with ski on my left I whip around glaring at her what have you been saying about me I bark she offers me a sheepish grin You Love karaoke she cranes her neck to bypass me and talks directly to Corbin like I told you blakeley's the karaoke Queen she throws me a Checkmate look I've had the time of my life as one of her absolute favorites Blakeley has a huge crush on Patrick swayy had I punch out the poor man is dead ski waves a hand fine she Huffs head you know what I meant let's do this thing Corbin pumps his fist you do karaoke I croak why am I not surprised I can hold my own he says with a shrug I shake my head is there anything you can't do she's a lousy cook Tad interjects from the the other side of Corbin that's true Corbin concedes I look from one side of our group to the other my narrowed eyes landing on Skate I don't appreciate y'all talking about me behind my back I snip and just because I like doing karaoke in the privacy of my home surrounded by friends does not mean that I have any intention of getting up there and making a fool of myself my voice goes shrill as I motion to the stage you heard the people who performed I talk louder they were Flawless as if they've waited their entire lives for their one moment to get up and perform on this cruise ship since when has you not been good enough ever styed you before SK taunts remember how you lip synced to Living on a Prayer back in the day in junior high I growl it's like riding a bike Corbin says with a hint of impatience once you do it you never forget do you want me to throw you over my shoulder and carry you up The Reckless glint in his eyes lets me know that he's only partially teasing seeing our unfolding drama the DJ partially stands and peers over his Booth come on sweetie don't be shy he makes a wide Sweep with his arm get on up here his smile is friendly and encouraging don't keep everyone waiting go ski demands through gritted teeth Jasper is sitting beside ski he leans forward you should do it Sis live a little I pin him with a surly look didn't you say something to that effect earlier today when you urged skate to let the woman braid her hair look where that got us I growl poor ski is going to have to hight tail it to the hairdresser the minute we get home to have her hair trimmed he rolls his eyes this is different Corbin stands and glances around at the audience Blake Le he begins chanting as he pumps a fist Corbin I saying exasperation as I grab his arm he just laughs and chats even louder several seconds later the people sitting at the surrounding tables start chanting my name Corbin grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet red-faced I allow him to drag me up to the stage like ski said I have no problem Hamming it up in front of my friends however peering out over the expectant a ience terrifies me I thought it was bad when I had to go on stage during the auction this is a thousand times worse because I have to do something other than smile and wave I have to perform my throat is bloated and Scratchy like it has been stuffed with a fist full of cotton balls I swallow hard praying that I'll be able to sing Corbin on the other hand is perfectly at ease do you even know this song I whisper we're standing beside each other in front of the microphone attached to a stand of course I have stepsisters remember I've heard this song a gazillion times I can't help but chuckle hang on and I'll get you another mic the DJ says a second later he jogs up and hands a cordless mic to Corbin my hands trembling I remove the mic from the stand seeing several people holding up cell phones spikes my Terror to new heights are you sure you want to do this I asked Corbin in a low tone this will draw even more attention to you I have no doubt that people are recording because they realize who Corbin is people are going to video me no matter what i' might as well have a little fun he turns to me his Jade eyes eyes sparkling you ready doc there's only one way out of this to move forward in a few minutes this will all be a memory as ready as I'll ever be Corbin turns his attention to the screen hanging from the ceiling out of habit I also glance at the screen and then remind myself that I know every word by heart I could perform this song in my sleep okay then why are you freaking out my mind insists the music begins as I take in a sharp breath hoping that it will quell the butterflies in my stomach the male starts off the song Corbin comes in right on Q his voice clear and melodic while he's an adequate singer it's his delivery that steals the show and brings a hearty Round of Applause he performs with all his heart like he's a superstar musician I'm coming to learn that Corbin never does anything halfway all too soon it's time for my part I try to come in strong so that I can smooth out any Quivers in my voice watching Corbin's exuberance emboldens me by the time we get to the chorus I'm singing like I'm Seline Dion no longer am I worried about being on stage or singing in front of strangers I'm totally in the zone performing with as much Gusto as I've done countless times before our voices blend surprisingly well as the song draws to a close we end in perfect sink thunderous Applause breaks out as the audience gives us a standing ovation the glow on Corbin's face sends my heart soaring he encircles my waist with his free arm still holding the microphone then he pulls me close and plants a shivery kiss on my lips causing the crowd to go wild it's often said that life is made up of moments this is a moment I want to lock away and treasure for the rest of my life chapter 11 Corbin and I are alone finally we're on the top deck leaning against the railing and gazing at the night sky a fingernail of the Moon glows silver and the glittering stars are so large and close that I can almost Reach Out And Touch them I can tell from Corbin's body language that he's gearing up to do some heavy talking I've been waiting for this all evening now that the moment is here butterflies are revving their wings and gearing up to start their flight in my stomach I try to pinpoint what it is that I'm so afraid of maybe it's that when we dive deep we'll discover that the magic between us is only an illusion our physical attraction working overtime or maybe it's the opposite we could Forge such a strong connection that the knowled know will be hammered into my soul that he's everything I've ever wanted and more then what the cruise will end he'll go back to Compton or wherever he lives now and I'll go back to comfort we might try to have a longdistance relationship for a time but then the bond we've created in an impossibly short amount of time will weaken until it eventually dissolves the short end of the story is that either scenario IO leaves me empty and alone if Corbin could read my thoughts he would accuse me of being a pessimist maybe I am I'm mainly trying to give myself some straight talk so that I won't fall Head Over Heels only to be hurt again the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result when I got involved with I knew he'd recently gone through a divorce that Cresta had left him heartbroken with two children who depend on him in the beginning I took a hard stance against fallen for Reed but then I let my guard down I can't make that same mistake again I have to be tough to keep my heart Under Wraps I can't get Swept Away by Corbin's terrific looks and Quick Silver Charm or the fact that he Thrills me in a way I can't put into words and I'm rarely at a loss for words I don't know what all of this means only that ever since I met him I haven't been able to stop thinking about him he's taken up a permanent residence in my head and possibly my heart but I'm not ready to either acknowledge or analyze that yet resting his arm on the handrail Orbin turns to me that was some performance you weren't half bad yourself he leans close his tone going intimate as his eyes Linger on my face in an intense way that infuses me with the heat of a dozen roaring fires we make a good team his hand moves to my face as he caresses the curve of my cheek with the sides of his fingers his touch which causes my breath to come faster instinctively my lips part with anticipation of him kissing me again to my disappointment he lowers his hand it takes all the intestinal fortitude I can muster to keep from pressing my mouth against his tell me about the professor he prompts a bark of laughter Clips my throat shouldn't we work our way into into this gaze at the stars talk about how beautiful the night is I'd rather talk about your beauty the compliment warms me through to my toes you are Charming I murmur and you are stunning I love you in red thanks my lashes brush against my cheeks as I look down at my dress I opted to wear it since red is my best color and I wanted to impress Corbin that he thinks I'm beautiful is immensely gratifying he looks terrific in black slacks and a short sleeve white button-down shirt that highlights his golden tan and cut arm muscles the breeze rustling his hair adds to his appeal giving him a bold adventurous Vibe he truly is magnificent to look at several beats pass I know what's happening here he's using silence as a tactic to prompt me to open up about Reed taking in a deep breath I rest my forearms on the handrail and stare out at the dark Restless water as I collect my thoughts where should I start at the beginning he steps close and drapes an arm around my shoulder it's hard to think about my history with Reed when Corbin's nearness is driving me to distraction warmth from his strong body flows into mine making me feel secure and protected he Strokes my bare arm with the tips of his fingers Goosebumps Ripple over my flesh in a good way so his voice dissipates into the moist air which is tinged with a faint Taste of salt read and I work together he's tenured highly regarded at the college so it was a networking thing his jab stinks it's not like that I retort I'm listening I suck in another breath trying to wrap my mind around what I want to say then I just blurred out the meat of the matter Reed pursued me he sent flowers asked me out multiple times I clasped my hands together in a tight hold I resisted his attentions at first eventually he wore me down why did you initially resist going out with him because he was recently divorced with two kids I didn't want to be a rebound I push out a short laugh we started dating I fell for him supposedly he fell for me too supposedly he removes his arm and turns to face me bitterness coats my throat I thought things between Reed and me were going great then one day he came into my office and announced that he needed to go back to crester because of his kids he said he wanted to give them a stable home life with both a mom and a dad Corbin's voice takes on a hard Edge the professor should have thought about that before he wooed you his bold in yourface Outrage causes me to grin I love that everything is so black and white with Corbin it's refreshing Reed apologized profusely for breaking my heart shock registers on his face bathed in silver light his features look even more chiseled than normal seriously what a [ __ ] a half laugh escapes my throat that's exactly what skate and my other close friends said they've dubbed him professor bonee head sounds appropriate he grunts I don't blame Reed for wanting to give his kids a better life the Practical side of me asserts that's not not the issue he argues no one forced Reed to pursue you he got you where he wanted and then dumped you it was a power play thing his blunt words are a punch in the gut mostly because they contain an element of truth it's on the tip of my tongue to argue with Corbin simply for the sake of argument but then what would I say maybe Reed's actions were a power play I have no idea what to think about Reed right now here on this ship with Corbin my problems with Reed seem surprisingly distant what's the situation with you and the professor now I thought we were over I forc my tone to go light I did the right thing rather than rip his head off and tell him to go jump in a lake I told him that I understood where he was coming from you're a better man woman than me I would have busted his head a giggle rises in my throat you realize that what you just said makes no sense right he tips his head beused what do you mean I put on my professor cap as I explain it's impossible for me to be a better man than you and it's impossible for me to be a better woman than you because I'm not a woman he finishes with a glib grin no you're not I sigh Corbin Ledger is the manliest man that I've ever met he picks back up on the hard of the conversation you did the right thing and let Professor bonehead go I did you were sensible about it do I detect a note of sarcasm he scratches his head it sounds like you let him off easy maybe I did I shrug at the end of the day he was going to leave anyway would it have made any difference if I had pitched a hissy fit pitched a hissy fit he Hoots I haven't heard that expression before I slather my twang on thick stick around choir boy and I'll teach you a little something about how we do things in the South his gaze holds mine I'd like that heat simmers through me as I trace the outline of his lips I'm reminded again that we're alone and that I've been fantasizing about kissing him again all evening maybe I should do something completely out of character and take the lead after all letting Reed Take the Lead lead is what got me into such a pickle so is read history his voice is light but I detect an undercurrent of seriousness I moisten my lips I thought so but then several days before Christmas I participated in a bachelorette auction the proceeds went to help Ski's program I quickly add a large smile tips his lips you were in a bachelorette auction he lets out a low whistle wow I shove his arm it was for charity okay how does the auction connect with the professor Reed bit on me Corbin's jaw goes sharp I see we were supposed to go out the day after the auction but then he sent me a text shortly before he was due to arrive cancelling he shakes his head in disgust the guy is a loser what does it say about me that even now a part of me wants to defend Reed I resist the temptation and remain silent he studies my face is that it in a nutshell why do I feel like there's more you know for an m M ma fighter you're pretty good at reading people he lifts a corner of his mouth in a crooked grin only people that I care about thanks I say softly silence settles between us until Corbin speaks you'd might as well come out with the rest and get it over with I chuckle in Surprise okay choir boy you asked for it skate Jasper and my friends were worried about me falling back into old habits that's why skate insisted on taking me on this cruise and why she confiscated my cell phone and computer she doesn't want me to have any contact with Reed his eyes round to saucers they were that worried about you I'm afraid so I Grimace wow you had it bad for the Professor I did I admit he gives me a question and look how do you feel about the situation now I'm not sure I answer honestly he nods and disappointment and looks out at the water I touch his arm my voice lilting but you'll be happy to know that since meeting you and us spending time together I haven't given Reed a second thought that's not exactly true but mostly I've compared Reed to Corbin and he's come up short I'm not about to admit that out loud he turns to face me a pleased smile curving his lips that's a good sign I think so curiosity Kindles inside me okay I've told you my deep dark secrets it's your turn nah hey draws you don't want to hear about me my story will bore you to tears my eyebrows shoed up into my hairline oh no Buster you're not weaseling out of this we had a deal I tell you my secrets and you tell me yours I also want to know how you got into fighting it's his turn to take in a long audible breath I grew up a poor white kid in Compton he begins somberly be serious I am serious he rocks back I already told you about my dad leaving and then Mom marrying Carlos he pauses the muscles in his jaw flicking what I didn't mention was how tough it was to be a gangly white kid in a predominantly Latino Community I got picked on a lot I learned early to either get tough or Die My Heart twists thinking of all that he went through I'm sorry I say quietly as I touch his arm it means the world to me that this Fierce man is opening up to me and showing his vulnerability that takes courage probably even more than it takes for him to step into a cage and fight I came out of it okay he says with an off-handed shrug I don't try to hide my admiration you came out more than okay you did rather well thanks Doc he grins a few seconds later he turns serious Tad and I went to high school together he witnessed a fight where I got my clock cleaned he Chuckles softly a smile tipping his lips Tad took pity on me and introduced me to his brother Angel who runs a gym I learned how to fight and the rest is history as they say I wrinkle my nose trying to fill in the gaps when did you know you wanted to be an MMA fighter it kind of found me After High School school I took some night school classes and learned computer skills I took a job at a middle school keeping their computers running in the meantime I kept fighting mostly because it's my therapy and I enjoy the sense of community and friendships at the gym his voice goes husky with emotion those guys are like family to me eventually word got out about my winds a guy approached Angel asking if I wanted to do an amateur fight I did a series of them and won a few belts before going pro he Chuckles all the years I spent fighting mom kept urging me to expand my brains so I would amount to something that's why I went to night school he balls a fist and holds it up who would have thought that I'd end up fighting my way to success in the end that's cool that you went to college and learned computer skills the Neanderthal can be taught you're going to keep holding that over my head aren't you absolutely he laughs it's okay I deserve it I wait a few seconds before prompting tell me about your ex-girlfriend my words soak into the Solitude of the night I span the Splendor of the Dark rippled Water only visible because of the lights from the ship it's a bit awe inspiring to know that we're a tiny Speck in the middle of a vast sea surprisingly it's similar to your situation his words Stoke my curiosity especially considering the swift connection or understanding that ran through us yesterday when those shark reporters hounded Corbin about his breakup and the loss of his title I felt his pain as if it were my own I'm eager to hear the details really how so well sadonna pursued me she's an upand cominging model Tad wanted me to go to a party to network with some of the power players in our sport I went and met sadon jealousy pinches my gut she's a model meaning that she's probably Dro dead gorgeous if I had access to my phone or computer I would have already looked her up now I'm left to the ravages of my imagination is she blonde and skinny or is she darkhaired and curvy like me at first I was leery of sedon once I started winning women came out of the woodwork disgust coat's voice everyone wants a piece of the champ that must be so hard I purr he turns to me his expression serious it is I have no idea if a woman actually wants me or if she's simply enamored with all the hype my words fly out before my brain can fully process what I'm saying how do you know that I'm not with you for the hype the laughter that rolls from his throat is as pure and bubbly as natural spring water you don't know the first thing about fighting and you had no clue who I was when we first met true I can seeed I nudge his arm let the record state that I'm not with you for the fighting a shudder runs through me in fact it gives me the heie jeebies to think of you in a Ag and having to fight it's so primitive P Laughs Again you mean Neanderthal yes I punch out my stomach knots do you really have to do the exhibition fight on New Year's Eve it's a walk in the park I think of something as I dip my head is your opponent on the ship is he also getting hounded by the report orders no the panda is flying in the day of the fight I scrunch my nose remember in my reaction when Jasper first told me who Corbin was fighting what kind of name is the panda I'm not sure where the name came from he Muses curiosity niggling at me I direct the conversation back to the part that I'm dying to know so you were with sadonna and then what happened I sense more than see him go tense initially I was drawn to sadonna because of her striking Beauty not just Beauty but striking Beauty it's my turn to tense up what does she look like I asked making a point to keep my voice casual he turns to me a pleased smile fing his handsome face you're jealous no I'm not I scoff I'm so glad we're in semi Darkness so he won't see that my face is burning who needs Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer when you've got me in my bright red cheeks you are he taunts it's okay I get it his tone goes pouty I don't like hearing about professor wonderful a snigger sputters from my lips I would hardly call Reed Professor wonderful as I was going to say about sadonna she's beautiful but an empty shell all she can think about is her social media followers or what outfit she's going to wear to the latest party he pushes out a soft grunt you can't imagine how refreshing it is to have a real conversation about something substantial you're pretty good at holding up your end of the conversation and while we're making comparisons I find it refreshing that you don't beat around the bush I like your straightforward talk his voice is rolled with Amusement as he comes back with well that's good to know he winces I'd hate to have to cushion my tongue with some soft pillow diplomacy laughter gurgles in my throat even after knowing you for a short period of time I can safely say that it's not in your DNA to deliver anything other than plain speak hey he counters you make me sound terrible it was a compliment actually he looks surprised really yeah I sigh with Reed I was always trying to figure out his motivation I grit my teeth it drove me nuts that I could never get a clear read on him that's why I appreciate you calling things as they are thanks he says with genuine appreciation I drive the conversation back to the topic that's still picking away at me especially now that I have the image of her being strikingly beautiful seared into my brain how did you and sadonna break up he takes in another breath clamping his lips together like I said the two of us were on different wavelengths our breakup was inevitable we were both busy me with the fighting and her with her modeling his voice hardens she was pressing me to propose wow I blink she broke up with me and started going out with the hammer a week later I suspect that she was seeing him behind my back even before we called it quits he grunts in disgust it was her underhandedness that cut the most my voice goes soft and beseeching are you doing okay after the loss of your title Corbin has certainly had his share of Hard Knocks as good as I can be he rubs a hand across his forehead the kicker is that I probably wouldn't have lost to the Hammer had I not been so furious with him and sadonna he shakes his head his jaw turning razor sharp sadonna was at the title fight we caught eyes right before she threw me for a loop because you still care about her my voice sounds inestimably small in my own ears they must have been serious if sadonna expected him to propose yeah I suppose I do still care a little I nod in understanding as disappointment presses around me like a heavy coat the instant the disappointment comes I try to analyze the situation of course corpin would still care about sadonna they have a history together the two of us only just met it takes time to forge a lastin relationship I can't just snap my fingers and pretend that Corbin and I don't have baggage from previous relationships my analysis isn't working what I'm feeling instead is something raw and Primal it it cuts me to the quick to think of Corbin having romantic feelings for any woman other than me God that sounds so petty and ridiculous considering that we just met and that this is most likely just a cruise romance that will end when we reach our final port a part of me wishes that we could suspend time and stay on this ship forever he makes a face more than having residual feelings for Donna it was her betrayal that got me he barks out a short laugh it took me right back to the time when my dad left he rubs his neck there you go doc I'll cut to the Chase and do the psychoanalysis for you I have major daddy issues kudos to him for calling it out everything in me wants to put my arms around Corbin and speak soothing words to ease his pain we all deal with issues of one sort or another emotion clogs my throat look at me I'm so messed up that ski and Jasper took drastic measures to confiscate my phone and computer so I wouldn't succumb to Old Habits he turns to me his brows knitting would you really go back to that jerk you know he's just stringing you along I nibble on my lower lip yeah in my heart of hearts I do know that it gives me no pleasure to admit it out loud I hug my arms peering out at the darkness I hate that I've been so weak where Reed is concerned I punch my words out with a Vengeance that I allowed him to have so much control over me so you wouldn't go back back to him I turned to Corbin offering up the most honest answer I can give if you had asked me that question a day ago I would have answered that I would consider giving Reed another chance no now that I've met you I'm starting to view things differently a pleased smile overtakes his face that's good I guess my hands go up into the air I have no idea what will happen after the cruise is over I don't think I would be good at a longdistance relationship and I don't want to be one of those women who believes she can't find fulfillment unless she's in a romantic relationship his eyes are soft as velvet as they probe mine would it be a tragedy for us to be stronger together than we are a part I jerk as I consider his question no I suppose not but isn't it naive to think that two people on opposite sides of the continental US with completely different backgrounds could meet and then whmo just like that they float off into the sunset together and live happily ever after smooth laughter flows from his throat there you go again trying to define the relationship my girl is the DTR Queen DTR Queen I fume seriously seriously he answers with such certainty that I can't muster up the words to defend myself a second later he flashes a disarming smile that obliterates my defenses then he takes my hand before pulling me into his arms let's take it one step at a time tears press a wall against my eyes okay I squeak as I force a smile luckily I'm able to Tamp down my emotion with a couple of hard swallows he [ __ ] his head do you hear that what I strain my ears to pick up on what he's referring to music he announces with such Gusto that a real smile curls my lips you're pretty good at singing he continues how are you at dancing doc I don't hear any music I counter at that he starts humming I've had the time of my life softly into my ear there are no guarantees as to how this will end however right now I can't deny that it feels more right than anything I've felt in a very long time one great thing about Corbin is that he knows how to buff off my rough edges and put me at ease I chuckle as my apprehension slips away and dissipates into the inky Stillness of the night I can hold my own we're about to find out he takes my hand and Twirls me around chapter 12 the next morning persistent knocking at my door Rouses me out of a deep Slumber I was having the best dream Corbin and I were dancing under the Moonlight we talked until the we hours of the morning with the conversation flowing so effortlessly that it's as if we've known each other each other forever of course we had to take a few breaks to get in some breathtaking kisses that simmered heat through my bones and made me want to melt into a puddle of sheer Bliss he kept trying to talk me into going out onto the bow of the ship to act out the Titanic flying thing but I was too chicken he teased me about it until I grew so exasperated that I socked him in the gut his Rock card ABS did more damage to my Knuckles than I did to him he only laughed and teased me more oh wait it wasn't a dream a contented smile curves my lips it really happened I didn't get back to my cabin until after 2 a.m. the knocking continues I press my pillow over my ears go away I need sleep and I'd like to get back to my dream Corbin and I were just getting to the kissing part his lips were brushing against mine with a feathery persuasion that almost made me feel like I was flying The Infernal knocking is so loud that it rattles my bed I moan as I twist myself around to the nin stand fumbling for my glasses I slip them on and look at the alarm clock it's a little after 6 a.m. my eyelids are weighted in lead and I could swear I just laid my head on the pillow to go to sleep the bed is so nice and soft I could sink deep into the cushy mattress and sleep for a year or at least a couple more hours we're not heading out on an Excursion today until 11: Corbin planned to go to the gym and get a workout skate and Jasper will probably grab breakfast and do whatever suits their fancy until we're scheduled to meet up at 11: open up SK demands GH I might have known coming I Grumble as I throw back the covers and stumble to my feet raking my tangled hair out of my face I Pat over to the door and open it hey SK begins give me a once over sorry to wake you liar I Grumble Jasper and I are headed to get some breakfast want to come along her cheerful voice grats on my sleep deprived nerves do I look like I want to come along we can wait while you get ready she offers the back of my hand goes over my mouth as I suppress a yawn no than thanks I'm going to catch up on sleep all I want to do is collapse into the bed and go back to sleep she gives me a tentative look late night what time did you get in are you checking up on me my eyebrow slides up of all people I would have thought you would be jumping for joy that I'm not sitting around and boohoo and over Reed her eyes go wide I'm thrilled you met Corbin she makes a face why do you always have to be so cantankerous I'm sorry I sigh I'm just tired her eyes Zing with curiosity because you stayed out until 2: a.m. wow that's late or early I say practically depending on how you look at it she props a hand on her hip as a slow smile slides over her lips it's good to see you doing so well thanks are we still planning to go on our Excursion at 11: yep we are I'll feel more human then because of yesterday's incident on St Martin the captain insisted on hiring a personal driver to take us around St kits and presumably to keep an eye on on us to make sure we don't get into any more trouble ski knits her brows and works her jaw like there's something she wants to tell me what is it I prompt her features smooth nothing that can't wait until after you get some sleep she says breezily a tug of anxiety clutches my stomach as I search her face are you sure my biggest worry is something going wrong at home with either re or Mom and Dad without my devices I'll be the last to know what's going on yep she throws me a buoyant smile get some rest we can talk after you wake up are you sure absolutely her voice lifts hey how about this Jasper and I will coordinate with tat and Corbin we can meet you in the cafe around 10 that way you can eat something before we head out I can read between the lines you mean so that Jasper can eat before we leave Sheen laughs easily you know your brother well yesterday he complained all day that he was starving the guy is a bottomless pit he is I agree mom said her grocery bill got cut in half when Jasper moved out I believe it ski Chuckles a second later she straightens to her full height oh okay get some rest and we'll see you around 10 sounds good I give her an apologetic look sorry I'm such a bear this morning I stifle another yawn I'm just so tired too much partying with your M fighter she teases a grin tugs at my lips MMA fighter her expression goes dubious huh it's not worth explaining in I wave a hand never mind see you around 10 I close the door hurry back to bed and go back to sleep several hours later I make my way into the large Cafe where food is served buffet style from morning until 900 p.m. I go over to a station serving eggs I grab a small plate with two eggs over medium before moving to an area where I find fruit toast pastries and several breakfast meats after my plate is full I Meander through the cafe looking for skate and Jasper I find them sitting in a booth tat is with them both he and Jasper are chowing down on food ski is munching on dry toast and picking at fruit and yogurt Corbin is nowhere to be found I'm surprised at the disappointment that coils my stomach he'll be here soon I hope hope it would seem that I have it bad for Corbin Ledger I slide into the booth beside tat good morning I chimed to everyone as I unwrapped my silverware and spread the napkin over my lap good afternoon Jasper responds in a mocking tone I stick my tongue out at him in response he scrunches up his face did you get your Beauty wrist he taunts I touch my hair and bat my eyelashes can't you tell not wanting to miss out on the opportunity of getting into the pristine Caribbean water I opted to wear my glasses yesterday during dinner we kicked around the idea of going snorkeling which I'm looking forward to I look down at my plate trying to decide what I want to eat first I reach for a SL of crispy bacon and take a large bite the Savory saltiness tingles my tongue as I chew appreciatively before swallowing everyone commences eating the conversation drifts from what activities we want to do in St kids to Corbin's upcoming fight finally when I can no longer handle not knowing I ask where's Corbin tat glances around he should be here any minute a koi smile plays on his lips as he turns to me he's probably taking his time getting dressed after his workout so he can look good for his new lady my face Flames as I choke on my toast I cough to clear my throat from the crumbs that went down the wrong pipe tears rush to my eyes as I reach for a glass of water and gulp it down you got her all worked up Jasper Chuckles I place the glass down and glare at Jasper who's grinning like a goober blakeley's got a boyfriend he taunts put a sock in it I growl as I kick him under the table ouch skate Yelps why did you kick me she demands my eyes fly open wide oops that was meant for Jasper I tried to kick sideways well you didn't she hars I give her a sheepish look sorry no need to be embarrassed about being SE woman Tad counters it's a good thing I cringe inwardly at Tat's use of the word woman it's like Corbin is a cavan who has claimed his possession normally I would say something cheeky about it to put tat in his place but I get the feeling that tat meant no disrespect rather he simply speaking in the manner that he knows I turned to look at tat just as I thought he meant no harm his expression is earnest you're good for see he continues I haven't seen him this happy in ages really I squeak the idea that I make Corbin happy pleases me immensely that's exactly the same thing I've been saying about Blakeley skate chirps with a note of Pride at having been right you're much better for him than sadonna ever was the edges of Tat's eyes and mouth Harden I couldn't stand that Diva and how she wielded so much control over sea my body goes Stone Cold I've only eat eaten a few bites of my food but suddenly I'm no longer hungry what type of control I prompt clenching my jaw Tad's eyes go round as he shakes his head I'm sorry forget I said anything he turns his attention to his food he's not getting off the hook that easily what type of control I demand Jasper gives me a warning look take it down a notch sis steel slips into my voice tat brought up the subject I'm only asking him to expound on it I pinned Tad with a glare what type of control I ask a third time Tad's shoulders slump in defeat well for starters she was super needy and whiny always wanting C to drop everything and go to one of her parties his eyes narrow with resentment I tried to tell C that she didn't care about him but he was too wrapped up in her to listen sadonna only wanted access to the fame he looks at me you're different you care about my boy for you it's not about his Celebrity Status his voice quivers with fervor you're a good person thanks I say quietly touched by his sincerity his eyes Shadow with pain it's like I told C when you find a good woman you got to have enough sense to hold on to her for all its worth he reaches for his glass and shakes it around to swirl the water and ice before draining the remainder of the liquid in a few noisy gulps he sets the glass down with a clunk and wipes the water from his mouth with his hand skate and I look at one another skate has a big heart no surprise sympathy is radiating from her expression you lost someone you love skate surmises her voice gentle Tad works his jaw as he looks away the tightening of his shoulders suggests that he's trying to get a handle on his emotions a few seconds later he takes in a calmon breath his voice is coarse as he speaks me and my lady had a misunderstanding and she dumped me that's rough Jasper laments I'm sorry man pressing his lips together Tad acknowledges the comment with a Curt nod is there any way you could patch things up with her I asked I don't think so Tad answers sadly he gives me a tight smile this isn't about me it's about you and C the two of you have a good thing going he punches out his words with a breathy emphasis don't let the media or anyone else get in your way I blink the media I look at Jasper and skate whose busted Expressions let me know that something is up up my throat constricts what's going on with the media nothing that you can't handle skate assures me in a screechy tone the one she uses when she's sorely uncomfortable Jasper i bark spill it the news about you and Corbin is out Jasper spits out I fold my hands tightly in my lap okay I figured that would happen is there anything else I survey Jasper and skate what is it I growl when they remain silent tell her SK prompts touching Jasper's arm word of you and Corbin has reached Comfort mom called this morning in a frenzy wanting to know why you were sucking face with a guy you just met what I Squeak My Mind races to put the pieces together did she see the photo of Corin kissing me in front of the shop not exactly skate answers she and Jasper exchanged looks okay then what I demand skate turns and Fishes her phone out of her purse she Scrolls through the screen and hands it to me there are uh series of photos the space around me expands and contracts in a hard punch that whooshes the breath out of my lungs the pictures are of Corbin and me on the deck in several of the photos we're kissing in others we're dancing there's one where we're standing by the railen and gazing into one another's eyes H how I sputter a shaft of anger step ABS through me how dare they I fume tears rush into my eyes we were alone last night a reporter must have been lurking somewhere nearby tat mutters in disgust last night was Private special and now it has turned into a mockery unable to look at the pictures any longer I hand skat's phone back to her what did Mom say I asked hoarsely homing in on Jasper she wanted to know about Corbin my voice Rises what did you say that he's a great guy Jasper's volume matches mine geez Louise I don't know why you're getting so upset about this a reporter took a few pictures of you kissing so what something Clicks in my brain as I throw skate and accusing look this morning when you came to the door you knew about the photos I did she admits your mom couldn't sleep she got up in the wee hours of the morning got online and saw the news I throw my hands into the air why didn't you tell me her eyes pop you said you needed sleep I knew if I told you the news you'd be wide awake I do that the math Comfort is on Central time we're on Atlantic Standard Time 2 hours ahead the reporter must have uploaded the pictures to the internet shortly after taking them that's the only way they would have been posted in time for Mom to see them the internet is so spotty on this ship that I'm surprised the reporter could get anything out the shark probably has some Premium plan I ball my hand my fingernails digging into my palm is Mom okay I direct my question to Jasper he holds up a hand and speaks in the voice of reason she's fine a crooked grin splits his lips she wants to know when she's going to get to meet Corbin really startled laughter tickles my throat as I curl my hand around my neck he not what about about Dad dad's thrilled why Jasper's smile widens he's glad you're seeing a real man instead of a cream puff who goes around spouting off poetry he'd be surprised if he knew how often Corbin spouts off quotes I retort a hand rests on my shoulder spouting off what Corbin asks his voice laced with humor I whirl around how long have you been standing there my heart skips a beat at the knowledge that he's here laughter swirls in his eyes long enough to hear you throw me under the bus I wasn't throwing you under the bus I protest who says it's a bad thing that you spout off quotes he folds his arms over his chest uhhuh he draws you're digging yourself in deep duck he has on a Navy t-shirt and swim trunks with sunglasses perched in his messy hair I take in the length of him noting his Tann lean legs and thong sandals good grief even his feet are masculine a goofy grin stretches over my face suddenly I'm deliriously happy that Corbin is here our gazes meet and hold the tenderness in his golden eyes is a powerful reminder of all that we shared the night before Corbin slides into the booth beside me and drapes an arm around my shoulders the movement is as casual as it is intimate Heat fans my face I look down to try and hide my reaction but not before I see the smirk of a musement on sk's expression what I growl under my breath that reporter was right she says sweetly y'all do make a cozy picture I turned to Corbin sorry about that he winces anger comes rushing back with such a Vengeance that it bubbles acid into my throat it's not your fault it's those infernal reporters I grind my jaw I can't believe one of them was spying on us a dangerous edge seeps into Corbin's voice as his face goes a shade darker if ID realized I would have put a stop to it I heard that your parents were in an uproar I'm sorry my voice shoots up an octave when did you hear about that this morning he answers looking across the table Jasper and ski told me the Cor corners of my mouth turned down when did y'all have time to talk this morning during Jasper's first breakfast skate makes a point of looking at Jasper's plate we're on vacation Jasper counters a man should be able to eat what he wants amen tat chimes in he picks up a slice of bacon from his plate and folds the entire thing up like an accordion before shoving it into his mouth speaking of food that looks good Corbin points to my plate may I he's so darn cute that I can't help but grin of course I slide the plate over to him he reaches for the fork I was using and digs in normally I would put up a fuss about him eating after me the whole germ thing then again we've been whopping plenty of germs since we've met so him eating after me is a moot point ribbons of warmth stir through me at the thought of those knock your socks off kisses we shared last night I have to fight the urge to Fan my face my thoughts turn back to the photos as I contemplate possible ramifications that could come from the news of Corbin and me spreading like wildfire I was so focused on the pictures that I didn't even think to read the article I home in on Jasper and skate as I punch out my next words exactly what did that reporter write about Corbin and me I hate being in the dark I fume it's so frustrating to not have my phone or computer I have no idea how this will affect my standing at the college or what Reed must be thinking I adds silently you haven't gotten anything from the college SK says in the calm tone of a mediator relief spills over me that's good to know I can only imagine what my colleagues must be thinking about all the buzz I can see the headline now I spread my hand and scan it across the air as if displaying an imaginary Banner professor of psychology goes WI on Caribbean cruise skate rolls her eyes I would hardly think Sharon a few kisses can be considered going wild Jasper goes into Big Brother mode as he eyes Corbin and me that is all that's happening here right he points at Corbin Don't Make Me Hurt You choir boy I know my brother well enough to detect the layer of seriousness behind his good old boy draw an incredulous giggle rises in my throat seriously you're threatening Corbin somehow I don't think a fight between you and Corbin would end well on your behalf I don't know tat Muses the fireman is tough I'll bet he can hold his own Jasper thrusts out his chest and grins like a [ __ ] Corbin puts down his Fork his eyes sparkle with a wicked glint as he turns to me at the risk of getting pounded by your older brother should we come clean now and tell the truth my jaw drops we are telling the truth I counter as I shove his arm all we've done is kiss I give him a scorching look right that's our story and we're sticking to it he Chimes as he picks up a slice of bacon and munches on it y'all know what kind of person I am I snip my cheeks flaming like they've been lit with a match my glasses fog up I don't dare make a spectacle of Myself by taking them off to clean them they'll just have to clear up on their own tat holds up both hands in defeat grinning like a possum I'm just an innocent bander I point a finger moving it between Jasper and skate the these two know that I would never do anything to embarrass myself or my family I straighten in my seat I'm a good upstanding person I say stiffly I don't take relationships lightly and that includes kissing Corbin slips an arm around my shoulders I try to wiggle out of his grasp but he holds me fast we're just yanking your chain he utters in mind ear I whip around to him as my voice goes High why are you tormenting me a boyish grin streaks across his face because you're so quick to rise to the bait his eyes soften a smidgen and you're so dang cute when you're angry I grunt in partial Amusement as I remove his arm from my shoulders Corbin looks around the table and proclaims let the record state that all we've been doing is kissing he turns to me his eyes moving to my lips lots of long slow and thorough kissing he murmurs God now my face is on fire stop I wail this is as bad as being 13 years old and getting taunted by my first crush laughter erupts from around the table I look at ski whose hand is covering her mouth to stifle her sniggering Jasper shakes his head in admiration you're good he says to Corbin it's not often that I get to watch my Brainiac sister squirm on the hot seat hey I protest what is this the roasting Blakeley hour I jerk around to Corbin my glasses slip As I push them back up on my nose thankfully the fog cleared on its own okay funny guy there'll be no more kisses for you I jut out my chin eyes shooting daggers come on Blakeley he begins in an easy tone you don't mean that he thrusts out his lower lip in a pout giving me a puppy dog eye look you'd better believe I mean it Buster I snap he just shakes his head and laughs then he has the audacity to lean into my personal space we'll take this up later he murmurs his golden eyes deepening to a vivid Jade the Husky promise in his tone circles anticipation around my spine in your dreams I snip More Steam covers my glasses how annoying if I had known Cor was going to torment me all day I would have opted to wear my contacts even if it means that I won't be able to snorkel or Swim Corbin's cocky grin is proof that he loves getting a rise out of me he turns his attention to the group as he holds up a hand the volume of his voice going up a notch in all fairness I should clarify that I never kissed Blakeley just what is he trying to pull I give him a look that could kill he's not affected by my outrage in the least his expression remains dead pan too late to back out of that one bro Jasper draws evidence of your Deeds are all over the Internet G just what I needed to be reminded of my predicament after the fun and games of the cruise are over and done I'll have to go home and F face the towns folk Reed and my colleagues it's true Corbin counters his voice rolled in innocence I never kissed Blakeley he turns to me his eyes briming with such mert that I can't help but chuckle I can't wait to hear this one he pauses for dramatic effect before exclaiming she kissed me a CH portal slurps up my throat at the same time SK Giggles Jasper Hoots and tat Chuckles haha I say dry Corbin slides his arm around my shoulders again you know you love me he says casually I stiffen momentarily at the word love but then realize it was merely an expression after we all settle back down I motion at the remaining food on Corbin's plate you've had your fun now you need to finish eating so we can meet our driver on time yes ma'am he Clips in mock solemnity as he removes his arm and continues eating a few minutes later when the plate is clear he pushes it back and touches his stomach that hit the spot what's on the agenda for the day Tad asks we talked about finding a good about to go snorkeling I answer sounds good Corbin shrugs anyone know anything about St kits normally I would have scouted out some good areas for us to go but since someone confiscated my phone and computer I suppose we'll have to ask our driver the best places to go I make a point of looking at skate whose cheeks are stained with pink wait a minute I thought you were going to give blakelyy back her phone Corbin says this is news to me I turn and give Corbin A questioning look then I look at skate who's blinking fast like her eyelashes are trying to take flight what's going on here have y'all been talking about me behind my back I get my answer a second later when I see skat's guilty expression she reaches for her napkin and begins fiddling with it I turn to Corbin you've been trying to talk skate into giving me back my phone and computer I have he answers resolutely this is a turn of events I never would have expected why he sits back in his seat his expression turning serious because you're perfectly capable of making your own decisions about who you want to be with I can tell that Corbin firmly believes that given the Choice I'll pick him will I right this minute I would answer that with a resounding yes however the Practical side of me questions how I'll feel when I get back home the painful truth of the matter is that I'm not sure what I'll do too much is up in the air no I don't want to be Reeds fallback girl I'm sick of him using me however I don't know that that I'm ready to jump into a longdistance relationship with Corbin the chemistry between us is electric and we connect emotionally and intellectually but will our closeness wne when we are back in the real world I'm not sure how I'll navigate his Celebrity Status which includes the constant hounding of reporters maybe I'll just swear off men alt together take some time to focus on myself who am I kidding I don't want to be away from Corbin Ledger not for one minute Corbin gives me a smile of encouragement you've got strength stored away in that feisty body of yours which you haven't even begun to tap into yet thanks I utter quietly I'm not sure if Corbin is right but I certainly appreciate the vote of confidence I look at skate with a raised eyebrow did you hear that I did she answers wearily but you don't believe it I fire back of course she doesn't it's written all over her face the edges of her eyes tighten I know that Corbin means well she offers him a sympathetic smile but he doesn't know you like I do she crushes the napkin in her fist my my spine goes stiff what's that supposed to mean ski moistens her lips you're getting stronger Corbin has been great for you she pauses but I don't think you're ready to get thrown back into the fire just yet I rock back as the meaning of her words hits me Square between the eyes my voice goes razor sharp give me my phone obviously Reed has been texting or calling what sort of messages has he been leaving curiosity gnaws at my insides eyes sparkling with Defiance ski lifts her chin no we have a deal you'll get your devices back when I think you're good and ready not a moment before she Clips see what I have to put up with I mutter turning to Corbin something in his pensive expression tightens my gut what I question you really do have it bad for the professor he Muses with a wounded expression not any worse than you have it for sadonna I blurt that came out sounding Petty and jealous his face Falls where did that come from I jut my thumb at tat Corbin throws him a hard look what have you been telling her only that I didn't like how you let sadonna lead you around by the nose he mutters Corbin takes in a breath and lets it out slowly when he speaks his voice is calm and reasoning we both have a past which we have been open about I nod my agreement the muscles in his jaw flick as he continues we're moving on from our mistakes he searches my face right right he studies me with such intensity that I wonder if I'll melt under his scrutiny finally his expression relaxes okay okay I repeat grateful that the tension between us has eased it occurs to me that I've been trying so hard to get us to Define our relationship moving forward however that's not exactly Fair considering I still haven't sorted out my feelings for Reed how do I feel about Reed there are so many loose ends in my life that it's impossible for me to reach a definitive conclusion all I know is this I feel blissfully alive when I'm with Corbin and I don't want our time together to come to an end that has to count for for something right Corbin turns his attention to skate the only way that Blakeley can put closure on her past is to face it his words hold significance as he continues when the dust settles I want to know that she's with me because I'm her first choice not because you're shielding her from going back to a mistake my breath catches in my throat I turned to Corbin my eyes going moist I'm still working through my past I admit hoarsely I get that he acknowledges I'm still working through my past too disappointment coats my throat as I swallow he still has feelings for sadonna I can't exactly fault him for that go my feelings are all over the place Place one minute I'm fretting over how I might or might not feel about Reed the next I'm fretting over Corbin still being hung up on sadonna I've never considered myself to be a wishy-washy person but at this rate I might have to re-evaluate that opinion Corbin reaches for my hand and squeezes it his gaze holding mine one day at a time one day at a time I I repeat as my glasses fog up again this time I'm grateful for the barrier tomorrow is New Year's Eve and then we're entering a brand new year ironic considering that January 1st is the fateful day when I'll be forced to part ways with Corbin at least until he visits Comfort Corbin makes a good point Jasper says to ske the only way Blakeley will know her own mind is if you put the ball in her court maybe you should give her back her phone and computer I will SK Snips she eyes me with stubborn determination when she's ready chapter 13 isn't this exciting skate throws me a sidong glance sure I respond tonelessly I never thought I'd be this excited about a fight she squeals excitement is not the word I would use to describe what I'm experiencing right now snorkeling on St kits yesterday was exciting Sublime this is something entirely different my stomach is heaving like I'm trapped in the spin cycle of a washing machine and it's all I can do to hold down the dinner I just ate as worked up as I am one would think that I'm the one about to fight rather than Corbin I push out a soft grunt he's probably cool as a cucumber right now the exhibition fight is being held in an event area on the third deck of the ship as skate Jasper and I along with hordes of other people make our way down to the lower deck my stomach drops every time the boat lurches several announcements over the intercoms have warned that we're traveling in rough Seas tonight I felt the floor shift subtly under my feet a few times when I was on the upper decks however down here it's so brutal that I can hardly walk straight especially in these skyscraper heels I smooth my moist hands over my dress and remind myself to stand up straight and hold my stomach in after all I never know when one of those wretched reporters will snap a photo earlier today skate and I were lounging by the pool when we spotted a man snapping pictures Corbin assures me that things will settle down once we get off the cruise ship right now we're all they have to focus on he explained I sure hope he's right because I don't like living in a fishbowl will the reporters follow me home to comfort I shudder at the thought the floor tilts knocking me off balance I Stumble as Jasper catches my arm to steady me easy sis thanks he gets a good look at my face and gawks are you okay you're green around the gills the Rough Waters are getting to me I'm afraid ski cuts her eyes at Jasper it's not the Rough Waters she's worried that Corbin will get his clock wound in the fight a choral bubbles in my throat at the same instant Jasper doubles over laughing what skate asks perplexed Jasper encircles skat's waist with his arm I think you mean clock cleaned Hun not wound he looks at me his eyes zinging with a Amusement oh Sheen laughs hesitantly her cheeks turning red youall know what I meant she blusters we do I sigh with an affectionate smile skat's mixup helped to take the edge off I needed that you don't need to worry about Corbin Jasper assures me this is a walk in the park for him it's an exhibition fight I know that's exactly what Corbin told told me a shudder runs through me as I rub my arms still I'll be glad when it's over smile skate chirps as a smile stretches over her lips I turn in the direction skate is looking to see a woman taking pictures of us let's go I growl as we continue toward the entrance we wait our turn in line when we reach the front we show our tickets to an usher whose eyes go wide when he realizes that we have front row seats if you'll wait here I'll have someone escort you to your seats he says cordially VIP treatment Jasper draws I like it a few seconds later a girl in her mid 20s approaches gracefully she motions with her hand this way please the heat of numerous eyes ping us with interest as we follow behind the girl the ship heaves as I stagger and then quickly regain my footing I'll be so glad when the fight is over and when we can get to a higher deck it has been a long boring day without Corbin I saw him briefly this morning over breakfast before he tat and Jasper left to go to the gym Jasper was elated to be able to help Corbin get ready for the fight rather than venturing off to St Lucia on our own skate and I opted to hang out on the ship we got spa treatments and lounged by the pool soaking up Sun several times I tried to broach the topic of which texts I received but skate wouldn't even throw me a crumb she kept reiterating that I would get my phone back soon enough then she asked me something that threw me for a loop are you sure or you want your phone back of course I retorted she made a point of lowering her sunglasses and throwing me a superior look you sure about that you're enjoying spending time with Corbin once you open up your phone you'll be forced to decide what to do about Reed you should be thanking me for giving you space away from your problems I never thought about it that way no I'm not ready to sift through my feelings concerning Reed still skat's words have made Curious what in the heck has Reed been texting here we are the girl announces in a cheerful tone the sight of the octagon shaped cage made of chain link fencing coated in black vinyl churns my stomach Corbin will get into that cage and fight if someone would have told me a week ago that I'd be waiting for my quasy boyfriend to come out and fight in a cage I would have laughed hysterically and yet here I am the second I get seated the girl touches my arm ma'am I have been asked to escort you back stage me I squeak touching my chest I clasp my hands in my lap um maybe I'll just wait here go on back Sis Jasper merges with a teasing grin your man wants to see you before the fight my man seriously couldn't you just say that Corbin wants to see me what is it with guys in their tough talk he gives me a gentle shove quit your yapping and go fine I Grumble as I Rise to my feet the second I stand up the floor moves great more walk in these impossibly high heels with the ship weaving intensely conscious of people watching I follow the girl to the back she directs me down a hall to a nondescript door she knocks twice before twisting the knob and pushing the door open go on in she smiles I step into a lounge area that includes a sectional sofa Ottoman and an enormous flat screen TV Corbin and tat are sitting in folding chairs off to the side facing one another Corbin is sitting normally whereas tat has the chair turned around backwards and Is straddling the back Corbin is shirtless and wearing compression shorts he's barefooted and his hands are taped up and ready to go I can't help but gawk at his fabulous muscles even though I've seen him shirtless while we were at the beach hello Orbin begins with a smile that stretches from ear to ear hey I say softly Tad removes his legs from the chair and stands this is my cue to leave he raises a fist what's it going to be tonight guts or stupidity a little of both Corbin grins they clasp hands in a firm grip with a single forcible shake they quickly let go I get the feeling that I'm watching an of repeated routine you've got this Tad Winks he struts a few steps then pauses when he gets next to me take good care of my man I will I say even though I'm not quite sure what his statement means Corbin rises from his seat and looks me up and down with open appreciation that pumps blood faster through my veins you look great he murmurs thanks I say softly not wanting to have to wear the red dress again I went shopping at a boutique on the ship and paid an exorbitant amount for this sleek black dress that hugs my curves even Albany with all her fashion prowess would faint if she knew how much it cost having Corbin look at me this way brings home the fact that it was worth every every last scent he crosses the distance between us in quick sure strides in a swift movement he pulls me into his arms and gives me a long thorough kiss on the mouth I get lost in the rapturous demands of his lips as I rest my Palms against his hard chest muscles having his strong arms around me and being pressed against his bare skin infuses me with a sizzling energy that zigzags through my entire body all traces of the nausea have vanished leaving me rejuvenated when the kiss is over he draws back and looks down at me I take in the chiseled lines of his face taking note of the hairline scar on his chin and how his nose is slightly crooked trepidation flutters through me I don't want him to get hurt one because I care and two because it would be a shame to damage his incredible face I peer into his eyes which are greener than gold tonight his prominent brow is shadowed with a warrior-like intensity that screams Fierce his gaze is as sharp and probing as ever missing nothing how you holding up fine I force a smile but I can't stop tears from rushing to my eyes the corners of his lips turned down hey what's this his voice is so achingly tender that it melts through me as he releases my waist he raises his wrapped hands to my wet cheeks and clumsily uses his thumbs to wipe at my tears a horse cackle escapes my throat I'm sorry I say miserably you must think I'm a Nut Job this may be a walk in the park for you but it's all new to me and I'm terrified for you he blinks in Surprise and then something happens that throws me for a loop his eyes go moist he swallows his Adams apples zipping up and down wow that might just be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me I laugh through my tears now you're getting emotional aren't we the pair he gives me a meaningful look yes we are the possessive tone of his voice wraps me in silky Euphoria then I remember why we're here and what he's about to do my stomach clutches about the fight you don't need to worry about me I'll be fine a surge of anger shoots through me you don't know that you're fighting some guy named the panda in a cage Anything could happen I've got this he says emphatically as he takes hold of my arms you've got to trust me on this it's what I do a quirky grin lifts a corner of his mouth as it so happens I'm quite good at it I have no doubt I take in a quick breath to get a handle on my erratic emotions it's not just the fight that has me tied in knots it's also the knowledge that I'll have to say goodbye to Corbin tomorrow in an impossibly short period of time he has captured a very large piece of my heart and I'm not sure how I feel about that his tone goes plating how about this I'll keep the fight short and sweet I eye him with weariness what do you mean I'll end it before the first round is over how can you make that promise I Bunch my brows you're going up against an opponent and have no idea what he'll do his eyebrows shed up in Amusement it's not what he'll do but what I'll do that counts a Snicker ripples through my throat wrote you are cocky choir boy he leans close and utters in a low throaty tone sometimes it pays to be cocky it got me you didn't it I suppose it did see he flashes a smug grin Cockiness pays dividends this time I can't hold back my laughter it flows out in a long cathartic ring that makes me light enough to float Corbin laughs with me what's so funny he asks his shoulders shaking you know I'm not really sure I admit I suppose I just needed a release from all the tension his gaze lowers to my lips there are lots of ways to release tension warmth stirs through me as I give his chest a playful shove so you're going to win the fight before the end of round one sure am I'm both impressed and intrigued by his bold confidence how can you be so sure he [ __ ] his head as if collecting his thoughts I motioned toward a sectional sofa would you like to sit down no can do I've got to stay in the zone keep myself revved up grin tips his lips so I can win he takes my hand and Twirls me around before dipping me back when he lifts me up I look him in the eye I'm distracting you he doesn't skip a beat you're worth it I go back to my earlier question what makes you so sure you're going to win a peculiar light touches his eyes tell tell me I implore sensing that I'm about to uncover a nugget that will help me understand what makes Corbin Ledger tick I'm hungry to learn everything I can about him you really want to know I do okay let me see if I can explain it he motions to a folding chair do you want to sit down nah I'll Stand he begins talking with his hands it's like this there's always a point in the fight when everything comes together my vision sharpens and I see the situation clearly with no flaws for one breath of a moment a calm Assurance comes over me and I know that everything will be okay a faint self-deprecating smile touches his lips I'm sure that sounds ridiculous actually no what you're describing is a sort of paragon or Acme he makes a face really you think so you don't agree there's the slightest trace of amusement in his voice I always thought of paragon as more of a model or example of excellence and Acme is the Pinnacle of something he's right and I can tell that it Thrills him to set the doctor straight I don't mind him giving me push back in fact I rather like it it's stimulating how can he be so boyishly cute and so dang handsome at the same time the Neanderthal knows his vocabulary words impressive I call the experience finding my sweet spot he says proudly a psychology term I know well I hold up a finger it was my understanding that the term refers more to a self-actualization exercise where you find that optimal spot rather than intuition his mellow laughter Cuts me off short what I demand he holds up one hand and then the other as if balancing imaginary platters on his palms you know the saying about tomato is it tomato or tomato he finishes in an Italian accent his beautiful eyes Zing with a challenge it's my sweet spot I shake my head grinning your sweet spot huh yep I tip my head like I'm giving his words some heavy consideration okay sweet spot it is he rewards me with a bold smile I knew you'd eventually come around he taunts are you impressed by my intellect a choral Clips my throat supremely impressed the Neanderthal likes to read and dance in fluid movements he does a couple of dance moves before hopping lightly from one foot to the other okay Channing Tatum better save that energy for the ring uh cage he makes a face Channing Tatum you're comparing me to him again I roll my eyes it was a compliment Channing Tatum is a great dancer and so are you I don't risk embarrassing myself by pointing out that it's not only Corbin's similar experience which reminds me of Channing but also his raw masculinity and blunt personality his expression glow with pleasure you think I'm a good dancer don't let it go to your head he just Chuckles speaking of dancing are you still up for the New Year's Eve party tonight of course I wouldn't miss it I say softly time is trickling away I want to hold on to every second that Corbin and I have together my stomach tightens should we talk about what what happens tomorrow well I have that press conference at 10:00 a.m. his expression turns hopeful after that I was thinking that I could go with you to the airport I'd like that I say trying not to gush over how considerate it is of him to accompany me to the airport even though he doesn't fly out until the following day the moment slows as our eyes catch do I dare there bring up the topic of what happens after we part ways and go home I need something to hold on to something that will help me believe that maybe we can make a longdistance relationship work tat sticks his head in the door and circles his finger time to wrap it up my heart lurches at the same time excitement brims in Corbin's eyes wish me luck you don't need luck you've got skill right my voice matches the intensity Building inside me as I grit my teeth I need to know that you have skills right skills I have them he asserts with such bravado that I can't help but laugh a couple of Beats pass before he searches my face so are you going to cheer me on be the Adrian to my Rocky no Adrien and no Rocky I bulk but I will cheer you on a resplendant smile tips his lips that's all I needed to hear I'll make it quick first round he promises see you on the other side he touches my cheek before sauntering away with the jaunty step of a champion he pauses at the door turns back and Winks the girl who led me into the room reappears and escorts me back to my seat from the way tat acted I expected the fight to take place soon after Corbin left me however we wait 20 or so minutes before a middle-aged announcer dressed in a black suit black tie and black shirt steps into the cage holding a cordless microphone in a deep booming voice in congruent with his lanky body he says welcome to the exhibition fight between former light heavyweight Division champion Corbin Ledger the choir boy from Compton and Michael Andrew the panda they'll be fighting three five minute rounds thunderous Applause breaks out I clap along with everyone else as the announcer rattles off both Fighters height weight and fighting records ew skate scrunches her face it would be horrifying to have your weight rattled off in such a public fashion only you would be worried about that I chuckle it's Dreadful skate says with a shudder I don't think guys see it that way the lights go dim as strobe lights flash around the arena The Crowd Goes Wild with anticipation then the music starts my eyes nearly bug out of my head when I hear the wangy lyrics of the country song that has a gospel message an incredulous giggle rises in my throat as I turn to skate who's also laughing he is called the choir boy skate points out I guess it makes sense that he would choose that song I look over and spot Corbin striding up the aisle he's the picture of a confident warrior with his chiseled features and Di hard expression if I were the panda I certainly wouldn't want to go up against the choir boy from Compton attraction warms me to my toes as I soak in his tall lie frame and how his muscles move so effortlessly beneath his tanned skin it's awe inspiring to think that I know this Larger than Life celebrity intimately enough to share those long slow thorough kisses that energize my blood and curl my toes my cheeks go hot just thinking about the kiss that Corbin and I shared a short while ago in his prep room or whatever that Lounge area was called I can certainly see how people could get swept up by his Celebrity Status no wonder Corbin has a hard time deciphering which of his relationships are real while I'm impressed with this production my interest in Corbin Ledger in no way hinges on his fighting abilities in fact it would suit me just fine if Corbin never had to step into the cage again however I get that it's who Corbin is I could feel the excitement buzzing off him like a summer electrical storm when he realized it was almost time to fight I can't separate Corbin's fighting from him any more than he could separate my love of Psychology from me I suppose I'll have to take the whole package long distance and all wow he's something to behold skate murmurs in my ear no wonder you're so moonswept over him I wrinkle my nose is Moon swept even a word I haven't the foggiest I only wish albony and Pen were here to see this SK continues I nod only half listening tension crackles through me as I straighten in my seat and swallow the tightness in my throat please let Corbin come through this unscathed I pray when he steps into the cage he goes over to his corner where tat and another man I haven't seen before are waiting for him on the other side of the chain link fence light on his bare feet Cor shifts around and pumps his gloved fists while waiting for the panda to come out another song starts this one is a rap song I crane my neck to see the panda headed to the cage he's coming from the opposite direction of where Corbin made his entrance a shiver runs through me the guy is as formidable as Corbin with his taut muscled body and strong Jaws set in stone I understand at once why he's called the panda his snow white skin is a stark contrast to his closely cropped cold black hair and mustache he observes the crowd through squinted eyes that are hooded by dark bushy brows even though the panda is roughly the same height and weight as Corbin his frame is slightly larger making me wonder if he had to lose weight to be in the light heavyweight category Corbin on the other hand doesn't strike me as being concerned about his weight I would venture to say that he's naturally the size he is especially since he described himself as being gangly as a kid Corbin has simply filled out his frame now that he's an adult the panda steps into the cage and lifts a glove to the audience like he's ready to do some damage my gaze travels to Corbin to gauge his reaction to his opponent I'm startled when I realize that instead of looking at the panda he's looking at me our eyes meet as he gives that boyish grin I'm coming to love he is calm as can be a smile Quivers over my lips I laugh when he lifts his glove to me I can almost picture him shouting Adrien the announcer leaves the cage and stoutly built referee with a bald head and a salt and pepper goatee takes his place Corbin and the panda wait in their respective Corners the announcer gives the ref an introduction from where he's standing just outside the cage a few seconds later the referee looks from one fighter to the other stretching out his arms to each of them he Clips out an Abrupt let's go fight gentlemen he steps back as Corbin and the panda come forward and touch gloves in a show of good sportsmanship they dance around lightf footed as each tries to gain the advantage they punch at one another Lightly for the first several seconds as if testing the waters then in a Flash Corbin lunges forward and lands a two sequence punch to the Panda's face the panda punches back going for Corbin's face but Corbin neatly blocks his attempt around and around they go punching one another's gloves from this Viewpoint it looks as if Corbin and the panda are tapping gloves to the beat of some song that only they can hear I gasp when Corbin suddenly hauls off and kicks the panda in the head ouch skat says a few punches later the panda kicks Corbin in the shin I wins but it doesn't seem to pH Corbin the two trade blows as they dance around shifting on their feet each trying to gain the advantage the panda charges and grabs Corbin in a clinch he holds him around the waist as Corbin tries to break free all the while the two keep punching one another Corbin breaks free just when I breathe a sigh of relief the panda goes low and lunges holding Corbin around the waist he pushes him into the fence trying to take him to the ground Corbin tries to stay on his feet but the panda takes him down to the ground the two are now in an allout wrestling match the panda gets on top of Corbin and pins him down Corbin rides to get out from under the hold punching the panda in the face the entire time my stomach twists it's not looking good for Corbin he was so sure that he would win and that it would all be over by the end of round one the panda holds his position and for several long agonizing seconds Corbin is stuck in a Flash the scene changes Corbin wraps his ankles around the Panda's head he twists his body to where he's now on top of the panda somehow don't ask me how Corbin holds the panda in a headlock while using his body to pin him against the mat the panda tries to break out of the hold but Corbin is too strong he punches the panda in the face and gives him a few elbows to the mouth the Panda's face is deep red making me fear that he'll pass out his arms flail before falling down Loosely by his side as Corbin holds him fast I look at the clock overhead only 20 seconds left in the round the referee crouches down to assess the situation just when I don't see how the panda can stand the pressure any longer he Taps Corbin's arm twice Corbin releases him and Springs to his feet pumping his fists in the air thunderous Applause breaks out as the announcer yells Victory by submission goes to the choir boy from Compton the panda has Tapped Out Corbin looks at me and Winks before turning his attention to the panda who has now gotten to his feet Corbin goes over and touches the panda on the arm and says something to him the panda shakes his head and grins as he and Corbin bump fists ski whips around her voice pitching High did Corbin just wink at you he did I chuckle I look down and realize that I've been squeezing my hands so tightly that they hurt I released the tension noting the Deep Crescent imprints my fingernails left in my Palms now that the fight is over I can finally relax my shoulders ache from the dress Jasper looks over at me with a smug see what did I tell you a walk in the park yeah I'll walk in the park I repeat with a shaking laugh Heaven Help me when Corbin eventually goes up against an opponent of equal caliber in a title fight chapter 14 3 2 one happy New Year Corbin and I chant in unison as Applause breaks out across the Dance Floor he pulls me into his arms as we share a long kiss that Stokes heat through my veins okay Jasper taunts several minutes later you've given the reporters their show time to break it up before you cause too much of a Ruckus oh let them have their fun SK shushes Corbin and I pull our lips apart he keeps his arms planted firmly around my waist as I slide my hands around his neck I glance around at the people crowded onto the Dance Floor you know what I haven't given those ruthless reporters a second thought since we got to the party let them take their pictures amen Corbin pipes in Jasper yawns well folks it's past my bedtime he's afraid he's going to turn into a turnip now that it's after midnight ski teases seeing the surprised expression on Corbin's face bubbles a giggle in my throat she means pumpkin pumpkin turnip what's the difference SK argues as she Twirls her hand Jasper Chuckles this one needs some rest he places his arm around SK waist and pulls her into the curve of his shoulder I do need rest ski a GRE it has been a busy evening her hand goes over her mouth as she suppresses a yawn how about y'all are you staying out a little longer Corbin and I exchanged glances our last night together is precious and neither of us is ready for it to come to an end yeah we'll stay out of a little longer Corbin answers for us he releases my waist and takes my hand lacing his fingers through mine we turned to Face ski and Jasper that was some fight a guy says as he steps up to Corbin you're the real deal man thanks Corbin says graciously you mind if we get a selfie the guy asks sure Corbin releases my hand and allows the guy to step next to him and snap the picture thanks man the guy says as he shakes hands with Corbin that's how it has been all evening at the New Year's Eve party people offering congratulations and asking to take a selfie I suppose that's the price of Fame I'm so ready to get Corbin all to myself this ship is starting to feel impossibly small with all the reporters and F hands skate squeezes Jasper's arm as silent information passes between them a second later he reaches into his pocket and pulls out my phone my chest tightens as I look first at the phone then it skate it's like I'm seeing Pandora's Box now I'm supposed to open it with Corbin watching a large smile fills her face and she exclaims exuberantly you're finally ready am I Jasper places the phone in my palm the balls in your court now sis I turned to Corbin who's watching me carefully his expression unreadable thanks I say lightly as I curl my hand around the phone skate makes a point of looking at Corbin as she says I know you'll make the right choice good grief why does ski have to make the situation so awkward I don't dare look at Corbin right now otherwise he'll see how uncomfortable I am Jasper reaches for Corbin's hand they shake and then fist bump it has been real Jasper says I suppose we'll be seeing you in comfort in the near future You Can Count On It Corbin says heartily my head it snaps up don't say your goodbyes too soon Corbin is going with us to the airport Jasper's eyes widen as he looks at Corbin You Are I Am Corbin says with a smile that is if you don't mind waiting until after my press conference to leave sure Jasper says we can wait I guess we'll see you tomorrow he looks at me his voice tinged with authority don't stay out too late yes Daddy I say sweetly as I bite back a cheeky grin he smirks before throwing me an annoyed look I don't know how you put up with her he says to Corbin Corbin clicks his tongue it's a tough job but somebody's got to do it hey I protest Jasper takes in a deep breath all righty folks this is where we make our exit good night he yawns again good night Corbin and I say in response as they walk away Corbin turns to me and looks down at my phone a big night huh yeah I tighten my hold on the phone not liking the sudden tension that has crept up between us sk's timing is rotten why couldn't she have waited until tomorrow to give me the phone if is she trying to make things difficult between Corbin and me now he's going to expect me to check my messages my stomach twists wondering about reads texts or messages how will I react when I see them will my feelings for Reed come rushing back or will I feel disconnected from him now that Corbin is in the picture Corbin motions with his head should we go someplace quiet I nod as he places his hand on my spine and navigates me through the tight Maze of people before we can escape We're stopped several more times by Star Struck passengers asking if they can take selfies every time I have to bite my tongue and Fain politeness I don't know how Corbin Can Be So Graceful under the pressure finally we make our way up to the top deck all the while I keep my head on a swivel looking for reporters we go over to the railing it's windier tonight than it was last night and the water is choppy the Moon is chunkier and more yellow than silver stringy clouds blaze a fast Trail across the night sky the stars are countless tiny pinpoints glittering against the darkness has it only been one night since we were here so much has happened that it seems like it has been longer I'm not sure if Corbin is at a loss for words or if he thinks I need silence whatever his reasoning he doesn't say anything instead he places his hand on my bare back and rubs his hand lightly over my skin I close my eyes for a few seconds letting myself get lost in the warmth of his touch the silence between us deepens finally I open my my eyes and turned to him my voice sounds squeaky in my own ears as I ask shouldn't we be worried about photographers my skin prickles with unease as I imagine someone lurking in the shadows and snapping pictures of our every move nah Corbin responds easily I've got the situation covered I turned to him in partial Amusement how so a pleased grin slides over his lips right about now tat is holding a private Q&A session with the reporters where he's going to announce whether or not I intend to fight the hammer to regain my title I blink several times shouldn't you be there his smile widens crinkling the edges of his eyes nope I'm right where I need to be here with you the Q&A is a decoy to get the reporters off our backs impressive I murmur do you think your plan will work I glance around we appear to be alone but one can never be sure as I'm learning I lower my voice to a whisper what if a straggler is lurking somewhere nearby he shrugs can they really do any more damage than they already have I suppose not I sigh if we truly want to be alone we could go to either my cabin or yours a low chuckle rumbles in his throat don't tempt me he caresses my jaw with the backs of his fingers you know how you were freaked out about your parents and colleagues seeing us kissing yeah I say hesitantly not sure where this is going what do you think would happen if a reporter took photo of us going into a cabin together I stiffen oh I didn't think about that this is about as private as we're going to get on this ship he says sadly I relax my shoulders and turn back toward the water he slides his arm around my shoulders as I snuggle close to him when I speak my voice soaks into the dense air are you going to try and win back your title of course he answers like he can't believe I would ask such a question I figured as much even though I don't like to think about it you fought well tonight thanks he responds with a smile in his voice I push out a soft chuckle you had me worried for a few seconds there when the panda had you pinned down I was worried too he admits and then I moved into The Sweet Spot and knew everything would be fine you and your sweet spot I say with a rush of affection I peer ahead at the fathomless sea a sense of wistfulness overtaken me I wish we could stay like this forever that we didn't have to go back to our normal lives and face all the problems speaking of problems you should probably check your phone he reaches into his pocket and pulls it out not having a purse I didn't want to have to carry around my phone the rest of the night so I gave it to Corbin after we left the party my throat thickens maybe I should forgo checking any texts or messages tonight I don't want to ruin our last night together he tances are you that worried about how you'll react when you find out what the professor has sent you regardless of what Reed texted or left on a voice message it won't change anything between us he turns to me with a raised eyebrow if that's the case then what can it hurt to check it my heart begins to pound it irritates me that Corbin is putting me on the spot then again would I have expected anything less from him he's a power player from the word go fine I say flatly I'll check it he hands me the phone your hands are ice it's chilly out here actually it's not it is to me I say defensively trembles run through my hands as I slide a finger over the screen and punch in my passcode to open it I'm keenly aware that Corbin is looking over my shoulder the entire time service is spotty on the ship will the texts or messages even show up probably since they've already been loaded on my phone my heart is in my throat I check the text messages first there are a string of them from RE I get The Uncanny impression that my spirit has disconnected from my body and is floating above me watching from a distance as I scroll to start reading from the beginning I go to the text where Reed cancelled our date on the day after the auction then there was the one two days after Christmas when he tried to reschedule that was the text I wasn't able to respond to since skate confiscated my phone Blakeley are you there is everything okay where are you and why aren't you answering my texts I ran into Albany at the Piggly Wiggly she told me that you went on a cruise why didn't you tell me I miss you I wish you would respond to my texts this isn't like you why are you tormenting me this way I miss you like crazy why are you ignoring me I thought you cared I just heard the news about you and the martial arts guy Nelly Kinsey is having a field day about it in her blog is this you trying to get ready retribution if so it's working I can't eat I can't sleep I love you Blakeley and want us to start fresh going back to Cresta was a mistake I know that now don't throw away everything we have on a whim please text me back or call I'm worried sick about you for a few seconds I'm so stunned that I don't know what to think or how to feel my mind spins as my stomach roils no wonder ski didn't want to give me my phone Corbin grunts in disgust this guy is a piece of work I can't believe he's stringing you along like that not sure how to respond I remain silent Corbin turns to me his jaw hard surely you're not falling for his crap I'm not sure what to think the guy is a narcissist IST outrage Quivers in his voice he has the audacity to think that you're with me to get retribution everything is about him I'm spiraling down a black tunnel and don't know how to get out Reed has never been that forthright about his feelings before he's everything I thought I always wanted and now I can't shift gears that fast I need time to process this I need space to figure out how to proceed yes I care about Corbin not to mention the fact that I'm intensely attracted to him however I can't just up and throw away a history with a man that has been built over a long period of time a man who lives in my same town he comes from my world we share a common profession life with Reed is predictable safe Corbin looks me in the eyee his expression is agonized what are you going to do doc the last thing I want to do is hurt Corbin but I need to be truthful about how I'm feeling my insides crumble I don't know I admit his voice goes hard surely you're not falling for that driil he's trying to put a guilt trip on you questioning if you care when he's the one who went back to his ex everything Corbin says is true you're right I admit about everything Reed has a lot to answer for he should have never toyed with my affections will he stay the course this time or run back to Cresta Corbin blinks in Surprise as if he's not sure he heard me correctly good he clips you should shut him down hard right now I rock back Panic trickling through me um I don't think that's a good idea suspicion flicks over Corbin's features why not I scramble to come up with a plausible excuse it would be unnecessarily cruel to respond with a hateful text it's a complex situation I wouldn't even know what to say before I realize what's happening he grabs the phone out of my hand okay I'll do it for you no I blurt Corbin's eyes narrow you don't want to break it off with him I thrust out my chin as I hurl out my words like razor tipped arrows that's not what's Happening Here I grind my teeth this isn't some cage fight where you can Strongarm me into doing what what you want I need time to figure this out my voice gathers intensity you don't even know Reed how could you possibly know what kind of person he is he throws me a condemning look no wonder ski was so worried about giving you back your phone you still have feelings for him duh that's not news I told you as much you knew I was working through some things I raised my voice you're working through things too sadonna has as much of a hold on you as Reed has on me this isn't about me he counters it's about you and how you keep letting that loser lead you around by the nose I'm doing you a favor by ending It Here and Now anger searches Through Me Like a Torpedo as I reach for my phone he holds it above his head in an attempt to keep it out of my reach give me my phone I demand grabbing his arm cut it out he Yelps you're scratching me a short laugh Clips my throat the choir boy is complaining about getting scratched I'll do more than scratch you if you don't give me my phone I growl he may be a hundred times stronger than me but I refuse to be bullied by him I stand on my tiptoes and strain with all my I might to reach his hand I jump to get higher when I come back down my foot slips as I fall forward and knock his hand sending the phone flying backwards oh no I cry as the phone falls overboard look what you did I seee he makes a face I didn't do it you did if you hadn't attacked me it wouldn't have happened I can't believe he's taken that stance tears blur my vision as my voice goes horse you had no right to take my phone I'll buy you another phone he Roars I'll buy you a hundred phones if that's what it takes I match his tone it's not just about the phone I punch his chest with my finger you had no right to interfere with my relationship with Reed a wild look comes into his eyes your relationship with Reed seriously he barks out a hard laugh you don't have a relationship with Reed he Thunders your relationship is with me he balls his fist and beats his chest right I scoff a relationship that started a few days ago we Face Off both of us breathing hard I'm crazy about you he finally says his expression pleading something in me softens I'm crazy about you too then what's the problem I'm mixed up right now I need time to sort things out in my head a tear slips from the corner of my eye and dribbles down my cheek hastily I swipe it away why can't you understand that the muscles in his jaw flick I do understand his eyes Harden but I refuse to be a consolation prize it's like I said earlier I need to know that you're with me because you want to be I get that but don't you think you owe me the same consideration of course he spouts that goes without saying I get up in his face can you honestly say that if sadonna showed up this minute and begged you back that you wouldn't be tempted to give her a second chance hesitation clouds his features giving me the painful answer he lifts his chin in defiance no I wouldn't yes you would I hurled back I can see it on your face sodon's not trying to get me back he says stubbornly so it's a moot point my voice goes shrill but Reed is trying to get me back now do you see my quandry M looks me in the eye I want to give us a chance emotion thickens his voice what we have doesn't come along every day surely you must recognize that I do I acknowledge then what's the problem he demands brittle laughter scratches my throat around and around we go I thought you cared about me the same way I care about you he sulks I do care about you a deep weariness settles over me as I take in a long breath and let it out slowly how can I make him understand what I'm feeling when I don't even understand it myself you need to know that I'm not saying I'm going back to read he arches an eyebrow butt there's no butt about it my voice goes practical you're coming to comfort when you do we'll spend time together see how it goes a corner of my lip turns up in a slight smile we don't have to do a DTR now let's wait and see see how it goes he pushes both hands through his hair and rests his hands on his head as he assesses me with a penetrating gaze that cuts right through me he knows I'm Running Scared I don't like it my eyes fly open wide as my hand goes to my hip you don't like what he lowers his hands and plants his feet in a Battle Stance you're giving up on us this is your way of letting me down easily I clench my hands am I giving up I don't know what in the heck I'm doing I've been thrown into the ocean along with my phone and I'm Treading Water trying to stay afloat no this is my way of putting on the brakes you and I both need time to come to grips with our pasts time he grunts yes time I say in exasperation is that such a bad thing how did we even get to this point things were going so well and now it's all ripped to shreds blast skate for giving me back my wretched phone something in him shifts and I can see him withdrawing into himself his expression goes hard you want time you've got it he gives me a cold smile take all the time you want Doc he turns away from me and rests his arms on the handrail my heart twists don't be like that I hate the desperation that seeps into my voice Corbin please Stony silence even though he's right beside me he might as well be a thousand miles away completely beyond my reach I stand looking at the rigid outline of his stubborn bullheaded shoulders for a handful of seconds before turning on my heel and stalking away chapter 15 the next morning after having gotten hardly any sleep I drag myself out of bed and Scamper out of my cabin and go over to ski in Jasper's door I feel like crap my head is pounding and I don't have to look in the mirror to know that I'm a wreck I was so distraught last night uh early this morning that I didn't take off my makeup at least I had the presence of mind to remove my contacts so that I wouldn't run the risk of getting an eye infection that's the last thing I need right now it's a a little after 6:00 a.m. skate and Jasper are probably still asleep however I can't wait any longer to talk to my best friend I need her advice and I need it now I knock on the door and wait nothing I knock harder if I have to I'll pound on the door wrapping my arms around my body I wait nothing I'm just about to knock again when the door door opens hey SK slurs she's wearing a long t-shirt and her eyes are glazed with sleep what are you doing up so early a second later she gets a good look at me what happened she demands in a low urgent tone that's all it takes for tears to pull in my eyes and roll down my cheeks my nose runs like a faucet and my mouth Quivers I can't see a thing through my fogged glasses but I don't even care hey she says again this time softer it's okay she steps forward and pulls me into a hug no it's not I sang hely against her shoulder stepping back I remove my glasses and wipe at my eyes my nose keeps running I sniff a couple of times to try and control it when that doesn't work I have no alternative but to wipe my nose with my forearm and then rub my arm against my pants so gross can we talk sure she glances back into the cabin at Jasper's sleeping form beneath the covers we can go to my cabin I love my brother dearly but this is not a conversation I want to have with him around I need a woman's perspective let me leave him a note so that he won't freak out wondering where I am when he wakes up she Chuckles dryly you know how worked up Jasper can get he'll automatically assume that something terrible has happened to me if I'm not here yep his firefighter mentality as a first responder Jasper has seen more than his fair share of tragedy Even in our a date town of comfort I can understand why he takes a worst case scenario perspective to everything heck I often take that same stance and don't have near the excuse that Jasper does maybe pessimism runs in our family I grunt inwardly at the thought skate goes back into the cabin while I remain outside a few seconds later we go back to my cabin luckily I had had the presence of mine to take my key card with me I pull it from the pocket of my lounge pants and use it to open the door we go in and sit down on the bed sympathy emanating from her expression ski reaches for my hand and squeezes it let's hear it she begins gently I choke out a sob Corbin and I had a fight I slide my hand out from beneath hers and rake my hair out of my face my voice breaks as Tears start flowing again I think it's over my glasses go Misty again I pull them off and clean them with the bottom of my t-shirt I wipe my eyes and put my glasses back on hopefully I can manage to keep the tears at Bay so I can at least see ski while I'm talking to her she frowns y'all were getting along so well what happened it started with the phone I fire back not trying to hide my frustration her eyes go round as she puts a hand over her mouth I'm so sorry she shakes her head I thought you were ready and that it would be good for you and Corbin to clear the air before the end of the cruise we cleared the air all right I grunt No More Tears I order myself blinking hard I clasp my hands together in a vice grip my arms are tucked tightly into my sides I wish I could make myself small enough to disappear ski takes in a Resolute breath then touches my arm tell me everything that happened she prompts I do so in halting breaths choking back a few sobs several tears fall but I lift my glasses managing to keep the lenses clear when I get to the part about the phone going overboard Ski's eyes round in astonishment as a giggle bubbles from her lips wow talk about fireworks y'all have some energy between you we have something I smirk she [ __ ] her head looking thoughtful as she dissects everything I told her so Corbin was frustrated that you were stalling about Reed he wanted to send a text that would get Reed out of the picture with one fail Swoop a wise smile curls her lips kind of like how he took the panda out in round one yeah I haven't thought about it that way but that's what he was doing but you weren't ready no I wasn't I say reflexively her eyes cut into mine why not not confusion rolls over me like an avalanche as I throw my hands into the air that's the million dooll question I rage she lifts an eyebrow is it because you still have feelings for re I chew the inside of my cheek I don't know maybe I admit I narrow my eyes how could I not still have feelings for him I've only known Corbin for a few days a shrill Edge slips into my voice as much as I'd like to I can't just snap my fingers and pretend that all of the pieces will magically fall into place and that Corbin and I will float off into the sunset I stop short when I realize that skate is grinning what I growl do you hear yourself you want things to work out with Corbin and you want to float off into the sunset I make a face how could you possibly reach that determination from what I said because I know you she says empathetically I've seen how you look at Corbin her expression turns smug as she Wags a finger I know you Blackley Donaldson through and through your head over heels for for Corbin and it scares you to death that's what this is really about fear now you sound like Corbin I smirk if the sweater fits you mean if the shoe fits I counter you get the point she sniffs her voice gathers intensity Blakeley you are not in love with Reed Thorston contrary to what you think you never were before I can utter a word of protest she rushes on he was a standing an idea that came out of you wanting to find your significant other her words cut my insights no I shake my head that's not true I don't need a man to make me whole how could you even say that she lifts her chin because it's true you need Corbin just as he needs you think back to when you were with Reed you were never as happy and content as you are with Corbin not for one minute Reed is boring drier than Melba toast is there a grain of Truth in skat's assertion I search my mind Reed and I were happy initially weren't we granted he never lit me on fire the way Corbin do does and we don't banter back and forth I can't imagine myself ever getting into a scuffle with Reed where my phone ends up going off the side of a cruise ship an involuntary grin touches my lips when skate sees it she points a finger aha you know I'm right I shift gears okay if I'm so Gaga over Corbin then why did I panic when he threatened to send Reed a text because you're afraid of cutting ties with Reed he represents security and everything that you know ski makes a good point are you sure you haven't studied psychology I joke she gives me a superior look you don't have to teach at a college to know a little something about human nature I speak aloud as I run the words through my head so you're saying that Reed represents security and the known yep Corbin represents the unknown I push out a short chuckle he's certainly not the type of guy I would have ever imagined I'd end up with remember how I was so fixated on the idea of me and Wade Clayborn of course well this is no different your more caught up in the idea of Reed it is different I insist I jab my index finger into the mattress as I speak my next words you had a crush on Wade whereas I had an actual relationship with Reed she waves a hand okay that part is different but the principle is the same I was supposed to be with Jasper but I was afraid of taking our relationship to the next level your afraid of falling for Corbin because you don't want to get hurt again and you can't see the end from the beginning I inhale then let out the breath slowly maybe you're right I admit she grits her teeth her voice ringing with certainty I know I'm right a smile touches her lips remember how I used to be petrified of getting a pet because Trotter got hit by by a car and was killed skate is referring to her childhood pet you used to Rattle off those ridiculous stats about the millions of dogs that are killed each year and all the sad pet owners I shake my head remembering you claimed that the best way of avoiding the heartache of losing a pet was to not get one at all my eyes go wide as the ramifications of my words hit home oh my gosh Corbin was right I dig my fingernails into my hair this is about me being scared I view ski through new eyes I never equated my situation with what you and Jasper went through ski gives me a shrewd look we often can't conceive the cookie that can come from the dough because we're too busy dwelling on the mess the dough is making a cackle circles my throat that's good I say appraisingly thanks skate grins a second later her expression turns serious there's one more thing I want to point out while we're on the subject of what a bonad reed Thorston is just one more thing I joke I can't guarantee that there won't be more she sniffs okay let's hear it did you notice anything interesting about Reed's texts I think back not really according to Corbin he's a narcissist tell me something I don't know SK scoffs she gives me a meaningful look the text about him proclaiming his love didn't come until after he realized you were with Corbin had Reed not been worried about you moving on he never would have texted did those things you're probably right and she continues in a Checkmate tone Reed only texted you not once did he try to call really I didn't get around to checking the voice messages sparks fly from Ski's eyes if he truly cared he would have called to have a conversation okay reads a dud what she puts her hand behind her ear and [ __ ] her head did I hear that right yes I say emphatically as I lift my arms into the air he's a bonehead I'm done with him good it's about time now what are you going to do about Corbin despondency rushes back I messed up didn't I yeah she says simply but it's not too late to fix it my spirits lived really really she affirms I knit my brows but what about sedon what about her she asks in exasperation Corbin still has feelings for her shouldn't I be concerned about that my stomach tightens no I Flinch no no she repeats with certainty sedon is Corbin's Reed a chal gurgles in my throat Corbin's re seriously she throws me a sheepish grin what I meant to say is that sadonna is Corbin's past she hurt him the same way Reed hurt you how do you know so much about Corbin and sidon's relationship tat told me skat tone turns gossipy she treated Corbin like dirt she's even worse than Reed she'd have to be scuzzy to dump Corbin for his rival and to run around behind his back skate nods in agreement several beats later she looks me in the eye this isn't about sadonna or reek it's about you and Corbin facing your fears and moving forward is it truly possible for two people to fall for each other over the course of a few days I Muse you're living proof the quote Corbin recited rushes through my mind filling me with inexplicable warmth I repeat the words aloud no man ever steps in the same river twice for it's not the same river and he's not the same man or woman ski adds we share a smile or woman she pins me with a determined look you know what has to happen next right no but I'm sure you're going to tell me I retort her eyes brim with excitement it's time for you to make a guaranteed gesture guaranteed gesture I scrunch my nose what does that mean she talks with her hands her work words coming faster you know where you do some big thing that lets Corbin know that you're willing to lay everything on the line for him realization dings through my brain as I start laughing you mean a grand gesture she makes a face if you ask me guaranteed gesture is more appropriate why do you say that I asked intrigued a coise smile plays over her lips because when you make your guaranteed gesture Corbin won't be able to resist and then your send off into happily ever afterland is guaranteed okay time to make my guaranteed gesture anticipation spritzes through my veins I'm doing this I'm diving head first into the unknown and I have no idea how it'll turn burn out and yet I feel exquisitly alive and hopeful how should I do it skate looks me up and down let's start by getting you cleaned up and then we'll take it from there after kicking around ideas about me doing some grandiose thing I decide in the end to temper my newfound spontaneity with a lifelong regimen of practicality I'm going to the press conference and we'll talk to Corbin afterwards I'll open my heart and tell him how the thought of him not being in my life fills me with a dark depressing angst I'll follow that up with how I want him in my life regardless of the hardship that a long-distance relationship will create as he's digesting that bit of information I'll play the trump card by telling him that I ended my relationship with Reed with a short succinct text which I sent from my computer earlier this morning how are you doing skate asks as she casts me a sidelong glance petrified I admit with a tremulous smile but good you've got this she assures me as she squeezes my hand which is a block of ice my heart racing I walk beside ski and Jasper as we go to to the area where the press conference will be held as we get closer the sight of the crowd up ahead roils my stomach a few more steps and then I'll come within view of Corbin how will he react to my guaranteed gesture if only skate were right if only I could be assured of a guaranteed happily ever after I suppose this is where faith and courage come into play I force my wobble legs to keep moving forward I was too keyed up to eat this morning but now I wish I had there's nothing worse than juggling a bundle of nerves on an empty stomach in coming skate Chimes as we are ambushed by a reporter blle the man begins with a Brisk intrusive tone how do you feel about Corbin and sadon Jasper swears under his breath do you Vultures never get tired of digging up old stories everybody knows that Corbin and sadonna are ancient history ski pipes in the man pushes out a derisive snort I don't know what rock you people have been hiding under but from the lipl lock Corbin just put on sadonna I'd venture to say that the two of them are anything but ancient history blood drains from my face as the reporter's words sink into my brain somehow I managed to force the words from my throat sodon's here I croak she's here all right the man crows and immediately changes his tactic with a sadistic gleam in his eye he taunts didn't Corbin tell you that sadonna was coming to the press conference the floor shifts Jasper catches my arm to steady me buzz off he orders the reporter sure thing buddy the man says in a good-natured tone he snaps pictures of us as he backs away I'll kill him Jasper SS the veins in his neck popping like ropes assuming Jasper is referring to him the reporter nearly trips over himself as he scuttles away I know exactly who Jasper is talking about and it's not the sleazy reporter no you won't I assert with all the Moxy I can muster let's just go hot tears fill my eyes and blur my contacts now I bark all I can think about is getting off this ship and getting far away from Corbin ledger so much for the guaranteed gesture just as I've known all along there are no guarantees in life especially especially when it comes to love chapter 16 3 days later I can't believe we're back to this point ski pouts as she steps up behind me and fiddles with the sleeves of my dress I gulp down the knot in my throat and straighten my shoulders I've already cried rivers over Corbin not anymore I've buttoned up my emotions locked them away in a sturdy box where they'll never be Revisited again such is life I say turly she pushes out a long sigh and talks to me through my reflection in the fulllength mirror you could call him it's insane how affected I am by those four words Sweat Beads pop over the bridge of my nose as my breath comes faster how could you even suggest such a thing I snap corpin made his choice and that's that a tidal wave of emotion rises in my chest no more crying I vow as I tap the emotions back down calm down she urges I take in a ragged breath as I smooth my moist hands over the bodice of my dress I'm dressed to the n and even took time to curl my hair I thought it would help make me feel better it doesn't I stare at the girl in the mirror she looks Hollow and empty you don't know what choice Corbin has made I whirl around to Face ski as my voice Rises don't I no you don't she says firmly I've been scouring the web there's nothing about Corbin an sedon again Getting Back Together according to one celebrity news article that I read sedon surprised Corbin by showing up at the press conference and the writer of the article said that sadonna kissed Corbin not the other way around my hands go into the air you just don't get it do you she raises an eyebrow evidently not inlighten me Corbin still has feelings for sadonna now that she wants him back it's only a matter of time before they're back together my heart wrenches at the thought of Corbin with the Glamorous beauty that I've seen online I don't hold a candle to sadonna she's so beautiful that she's almost not real no wonder Corbin was captivated by her when they first met skate folds her arms over her chest giving me a steal look I still think you're jumping the gun here her voice goes high and going on a date with Reed what are you thinking I thought that chapter of your life was closed for good so did I but after I ended things via text Reed texted back and begged me for another chance you'll be happy to know that he even called me you checked your texts through your computer I nod she scrunches her face how did he call you you don't have a phone he called me over my computer a Furrow dense her brows I didn't even realize that was possible and no it doesn't make me happy she mutters I clench my jaw well seeing as how I'm here alone I figured that having dinner with Reed beats sitting around licking the gaping wounds that Corbin left she shakes her head in weary frustration I don't know what to do with you I Square my jaw you don't have to do anything I'm a grown woman and can make my own decisions you don't love him this has nothing to do with love I growl as I ball my fists the phone call I had with Reed was stilted Reed was so composed and careful about his manner of speech I kept wanting him to just spit out whatever it was he wanted to say I wanted him to be Corbin but he's not you love Corbin i bark out a hard laugh I hardly know Corbin I roar that's not true and you know it I'm not doing this with you I hold up my hands as I March out of the bedroom and go into the living room skate follows on my heels tat has been calling Jasper I halt in my tracks my heart skipping a beat slowly I turn around to face her what did he say an unreasonable sprig of Hope Sprouts in my breast would it be too much to ask for Corbin to come running after me like guys do in the movies why would he the two of us spoke harsh words and now it's over I have no idea what Tad wants to say her eyes Go Round And exasperation Jasper is as stubborn as you are he refuses to take Tat's call good I clip no it's not good she shrieks y'all are idiots both of you are too prideful for your own good seeing SK so worked up sends a rush of tenderness through me if she didn't care so much she wouldn't be this upset the same goes for Jasper I'm supremely grateful to have both of them in my corner I take hold of skat's arms I appreciate what you're trying to do my voice quivers as I continue however I'm a big girl and can make my own decisions she eyes me with doubt I mean it I affirm I'm just having dinner with Reed that's all a deep Furrow creases her brow you said y'all were eating here at your house that's the plan is he bringing the food I guess why is ski so worried about the Blasted food an intimate dinner here with the two of you read is up to something Amusement tickles my throat of of course he's up to something he's trying to get me back I know she growls and it ticks me off I'll be fine the doorbell rings I wonder who that could be I Muse Reed won't be here for another hour I'll get it ski rushes to the door and opens it Margie what are you doing here she asks her voice laced with open disapproval I'm catering the dinner Margie says pleasantly she looks past skate is Blakeley here I step up and offer Margie a welcom and smile hello hello Margie responds she looks down at the cardboard box she's holding do you mind if I set this down come on in do you need help getting stuff in no ma'am I've got it covered skate throws Margie a dark look Reed hired a caterer unbelievable she seeds I SWAT her arm shh it's not Margie's fault that you're ticked about Reed I say in a low tone as I glance at Margie thankfully she doesn't appear to have heard skates rant a woman on a mission Margie walks briskly past us going back outside to get more items you should go I say to skate if she stays any longer she'll be looking over Margie's shoulder and giving her pointers on how to do a better job with her food presentation fine I'll go skate Huffs she turns to me and points her eyes sparking don't do anything stupid tonight I won't I assure skate as I shoe her out several minutes later Margie comes back in carrying another BX box she goes into the kitchen and deposits it on the island I don't mind helping it seems odd for me to just stand here and watch while Margie Works in my kitchen not that I do very much cooking still nah I've got it her smile turns juicy you just need to relax and get ready for tonight Reed wants to make everything perfect her words sour my stomach maybe ski was right dinner with Reed is a bad idea I'm in no mood to deal with him tonight it's ironic that I was so worried about whether or not I still have feelings for him on the cruise right now all I can think about is Corbin and how he broke my heart of course in Corbin's defense I was wishy-washy about Reed now I'm paying the price how will I feel about Reed once he gets here I suspect the same but time will tell something shifted in me that last morning on the ship when I chose Corbin it's like my heart moved on from that point and there seems to be no going back the phone conversation with Reed was downright awkward I hope dinner will go better I'll be in my bedroom holler if you need anything I said say to Margie we'll do hun she throws me an insinuating smile you're going to love what's on the menu she CS I can hardly wait I respond trying hard to keep sarcasm from leaking into my voice since I'm already dressed I have no idea what to do with myself for the next hour I can already tell that the rest of the week is going to drag by I'm glad school starts back next week at least then I'll have something to focus on other than Corbin I really need to get a new phone maybe I'll do that tomorrow I can take a day trip to mobile that will help fill the time skate is probably slammed at the bakery and with the Outreach Center after having been gone I can see if either Albany or Penn can go with me a humorless grin tugs at my mouth as I picture my phone floating in the Caribbean Sea it has probably been eaten by a whale by now Corbin promised to buy me a new phone aund new phones and I won't even get one out of the deal I open my laptop and watch a show on Netflix 10 minutes before 7 Margie knocks on the door and informs me that she's done everything is ready for your special evening she chirs the manicotti and rolls are warming in the oven dessert is in the fridge thanks so much I offer her an appreciative smile you're welcome she responds with a magnanimous smile has Margie heard all the buzz about Corbin and me my mom stopped by this morning to check on me according to her the whole town has been jabbering about me having a whirlwind romance with a celebrity during my cruise of course Nelly Kinsey has discussed the matter at Great length in her blog Margie Must Be Wondering Why I'm having a romantic dinner with Reed when I was with Corbin a few days ago she's probably just too polite to say anything Reed hired her to cater and she's trying to be professional about the situation I can respect that I wait until I hear the front door close before going into the combination kitchen and dining room I freeze in my tracks when I see the lavish display there's a white linen tablecloth lit candles and cloth napkins Margie even went to the trouble of bringing her own table wear that boasts of milky white china adorned with Lacy blue trim a spray of red roses adds the crown and touch to the table the zesty scent of the man cotty mingled with the yeasty smell of rolls rumbles my stomach I haven't eaten much since coming home I can't believe Reed went to all of this trouble my eyes go moist thinking of how thrilled I would have been about this setup a mere week ago now now I'm curiously detached and a little sad in an ironic way that it took me falling for someone else for to finally realize my value that's what tonight is all about right read captur and the one who got away an image of Corbin flashes before my eyes the longing for him is so Fierce that it slices my insides should I call him oh the irony I have no phone I suppose I could call him over the computer no that won't work I don't know how to get in touch with him although I could make Jasper share Tat's number with me a plan begins to take shape in my head that would work wait what would I say if I called Corbin that I made the biggest mistake of my life because I was indecisive that I was scared another thought occurs to me he could be with sadonna right now maybe he's glad things didn't work out between us because it gave him an easy out my stomach balls into a hard knot wow talk about a punch in the gut Reed is finally coming around and now I'm Lovick over a man that I'll never be able to have the doorbell rings smoothing my hands over my dress I go and open it Reed is as impeccable as always dressed in a white shirt khaki pants with cre is in the center of each leg a Navy vest and matching bow tie his dark hair is perfectly gelled with a lock trailing down and covering his eyebrow did he style his hair that way on purpose it looks to be the case well it's effective no doubt about it Reed is a heartthrob in a scholarly way his brown eyes flicker over me with appreciation hello he begins in a cordial manner that borders on being stiff welcome home thanks I murmur he steps in and closes the door behind him then he moves close and gives me a peck on the cheek I catch a whiff of his spicy cologne which brings back a trove of memories his nearness is not unpleasant but it doesn't rev up my cells if anything anything I'm curiously unaffected by Reed this is certainly new something smells good he observes you pulled out all the stops everything looks and smells great it was the least I could do he says softly giving me a lingering look a few awkward beats pass before I motion to the table shall we eat we might as well get this over with he shifts his feet as if unsure of himself sure do you mind if we put on some music first something classical my throat constricts he's certainly taken great pains to set the stage we can do that I go over to my home speaker device and ask it to play classical music Corbin didn't need music to set the stage he created his own I think about how he hummed softly in my ear as we danced on the upper deck of the ship I taking a quick breath ordering myself to get a grip I can't keep pining away for Corbin I suppose I should be grateful that he finally got me over read I suppose I'm going with option three living life on my own without a significant other do we want to eat the salads first first my voice is off-kilter a dead giveaway that I'm sorely uncomfortable with this situation sure he says again grateful to have an occupation I go and retrieve the two bowls filled with crisp salad and drizzled with Italian dressing the salads are garnished with shaved Parmesan cheese and topped with crusty croutons it would seem that Margie thought of everything I place my bowl down first in the center of my plate when I go to do the same for Reed he touches my arm I'm surprised by how soft his hand is compared to Corbin's I don't think Reed has done a day worth of manual labor his entire life I've missed you he gives me an imploring look thanks I respond with a wooden smile it occurs to me that I don't feel anything from his touch not even the slightest tingle pulling away from him as gracefully as I can I go and sit down I pick up my Fork as we commence eating all the while I'm trying to figure out what to say to fill the silence how are Matthew and Laney enjoying their Christmas break he settles into his seat obviously pleased with my question they're enjoying every minute his voice takes on a note of affection Matthew got a new Nintendo switch and would play with it 24/7 if he could Laney got a new iPhone and some new clothes I let him go on about his kids and their various activities as I pick at my salad I've always felt left out when Reed talks about his kids however tonight I'm grateful because it takes me off the hot seat as I watch Reed talk I'm struck by how normal his physique is he's super thin and moderately fit however I don't remember ever hearing him mention working out he goes on the occasional hike but that's about it I must be more superficial than I thought because I miss Corbin's cut muscles and how he commands a room with his masculine bravado read is so ordinary in comparison he doesn't have much Pizzazz I feel guilty for thinking this but Albany is Right Reed is a bit of a limp noodle I'm glad your kids are doing well I say when the conversation lags more awkward silence passes he could help to fill these long awkward gaps in the conversation by chiming in with something anything I fight the the urge to roll my eyes how was your Christmas break terrible a draw smile overtakes his lips I'm sorry I respond reflexively you weren't here to share it with me the wounded criticism in his voice rubs me the wrong way as I plunk down my Fork I guess we're doing this I mutter maybe it's better this way I don't know how much more of dancing around the topic I can take he throws out the first punch with a plaintiff why didn't you tell me you were going on a cruise he places his Fork down beside his plate my eyes lasso to circles do you really have to ask he looks genuinely perplexed is he really that clueless about all the angst and hurt he has caused me an edge slips into my voice you broke up with me and went back to Cresta he holds up his hand that's not true he says in the calm voice of a seasoned Professor accustomed to enlightening his students I went back because of Matthew and Lany his expression turns pleading I made a mistake and I'm so sorry his voice catches he balls his fist and and puts it to his mouth as he coughs I never meant to hurt you well you did I fire back that's why you hurt me he counters the lines around his mouth hardening my jaw drops as my hand goes over my chest I hurt you I bark out a hard laugh seriously he wrinkles his brow then that's why you went on the cruise and had the fling with that fighter to get back at me his words take the wind out of my sails wow he is narcissistic everything is about him heat sweeps through me as my voice Rises do you actually think I would have a romantic relationship with someone just to get back at you he doesn't so much just Flinch I know that's what happened I shake my head in disbelief you need to know that it's okay I understand why you did it his lyrical voice takes on a recitative quality as he begins quoting man's love is of man's life aart it is a woman's whole existence in her first Passion a woman loves her lover in all the other all she loves is love I recognize the quote it's by Reed's favorite poet Lord Byron I can't believe he would have the audacity to spout those words to me in light of our current situation I can feel flames shooting from my eyes as I level a glare so you're saying that I'm only a part of your life but that you're my whole existence that's a bit presumptuous shame on me for letting this man control my emotions for so long I was an absolute idiot well not anymore red blotches up his neck as he adjusts his bow tie the poem is meant as a compliment he dips his head and talks with his hands like he's expounding some great truth you see you as a woman feel things more deeply than the opposite it sex I purse my lips that sounds like a blanket statement to me the blotches seep into his face what do you mean looking him in the eye I punch out every word just because you don't feel things deeply doesn't mean that all men are that way Corbin is passionate about everything he would welcome the opportunity to spar with me on this topic irritation twists over Reed's face why are you being so adversarial I'm not I retort we're simply having a conversation he draws in a breath I didn't mean to offend I was trying to give you a compliment some compliment I mutter I beg your pardon nothing blly he utters his expression pleading our time apart prompted me to do some soul searching his voice trembles with fervency I realized that I'm in love with you silence descends between us I moisten my lips searching for the right words while I'm irritated with Reed I need to remember that he's a good man in many ways he'll always be the same I'm the one who has changed he watches me expectantly waiting for me to respond I'm not sure what to say your guaranteed gesture with the Roses candles and food is touching but it's a little overwhelming to me right now considering the circumstances my voice dribbles off I'll be so glad when this awkward dinner is over big mistake for agreeing to this date a faintly condescending smile creases his lips I believe the correct term is Grand gesture laughter tickles my throat it's official skate is rubbing off on me I motion at the table you're absolutely right in this case Grand gesture is much more appropriate especially considering in that your efforts won't yield any guaranteed results frustration tightens his features I have no idea what you're talking about he speaks the words like it's my fault that he doesn't understand the reference as if he's above even wanting to know that's okay I don't expect you to understand urgency coat his voice I want us to start fresh as if he could just speak the words and deem it so my spine goes Ram rods straight fresh huh you mean until the next time Cresta snaps her fingers and wants you to do her bidding his face Falls it's not like that I narrow my eyes isn't it I taunt it feels good to get that out in the open what makes this time any different from all the rest my voice hardens you keep waffling back and forth between Cresta and me so often that it's given me Whiplash he pulls at his bow tie I was hoping to do this after we ate but here goes He scoots back his chair Rises to his feet and comes over to where I'm sitting I realize that you need proof of my intentions it'll be different this time I swear my hand goes up around my neck the tension in the room is thick enough to cut Reed is as nervous as I've ever seen him my heart skips skitters and trips over itself when he gets down on one knee he whips out a small velvet box from his pocket and peers up at me with soft hopeful eyes this is really happening my mind screams how many times have I dreamt of this moment now that it's here I can hardly breathe I'm vaguely aware of the upbeat song playing in the background seconds later it gets drowned out by the frenzied pounding of my heart the great philosopher Evelyn K Donaldson also known as my mother often said is if you think you're in love with someone but you're not sure then you're actually not in love for if you're truly in love you'll feel it clear to the Bone am I in love tears sprang to my eyes GH I told myself that I was done crying but there it is the tears are back full force yes I'm in love and it cuts me clear to the Bone just like Mom said how in the heck did it happen so quickly I guess time truly is irrelevant when it comes to relationships and especially love Blakeley Catherine Donaldson Reed says solemnly will you marry me two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler long I stood thanks Robert Frost for that highdef visual am I sorry I can't travel both heck no there's only one road I want to travel I want it with my entire heart I bring my hands together and place them over my mouth as tears Splash over my cheeks Reed Graces me with a noble Smile as if to say it took me long enough but I finally came around scratch that knowing Reed he is probably thinking it took you long enough he's right it did take me long enough to come to my senses but I'm finally there Blakeley he prompts his expression pleading I love you please give me a chance to prove it a knock sounds at the door this is followed by a persistent pounding that rattles the windows Reed looks past me in annoyance are you expecting someone I glan back over my shoulder as the door bursts open chapter 17 I hiccup out an incredulous giggle Corbin he charges into the room and marches over to me in Long confident steps what are you doing here I squeak a cocky grin slides over his lips what does it look like coming to claim my woman getting laughter flows from my lips my heart floats right out of my body and up to the ceiling he's wearing jeans Converse tennis shoes and a gray t-shirt that puts his chiseled bicep and tanned forearms on full display wow he looks good Corbin's jaw goes razor sharp as he looks at Reed who's still kneeling on the floor and holding out the ring from the looks of things it would seem that I got here in the nick of time Reed closes the box with an audible click and Rises to his feet his expression is indignant how dare you barge in here and try to lay claim to my girlfriend he fumes his girlfriend seriously the man is so caught up in his own magnificence that he's delusional my mind whirls trying to come to grips with the fact that Corbin is here he came for me after all tears fill my eyes look what you did Reed rages you made her cry tears flow down my cheeks and I start laughing at the same time yep Corbin has a tendency to do that and list it strong emotions from me I sniff as I wipe away the tears you need to leave at once Reed demands before I call the police the muscles in Corbin's jaw Flex dangerously his body pulls taut a panther about to pounce as he points at Reed shut your trap professor before I shut it for you I'm AED by the sheer power that Corbin wields Reed feels it too and is immediately quelled into silence Corbin turns his attention to me the fierce look in his Jade eyes ignites my cells even the air sizzles with excitement now that Corbin is here H how did you know where I live I blust her I might have told him I whip around to see Jasper leaning against the frame of the door his hands are stuffed into the pockets of his jeans and he's grinning like a goober skate is beside him also grinning this guy is Relentless Jasper draws motion into Corbin he shows up at the station I'm ready to bust his head and then he demands that I take him to your house I look past Jasper and ski to see not only Albany and Gavin but also pen Memphis and even Bo Pan's brother what what are y'all doing here I sputter skat's cheeks Ren I might be the one to blame when Jasper called and told me that Corbin was making his guaranteed gesture I might have jumped on the phone and called pen who then called Albany she rolls her eyes of course the guys also had to come along to watch their M hero in action MMA Bo corrects whatever skate waves a hand re smirks what is it with you people and your guaranteed gestures the correct phraseology is Grand gesture he glares at Corbin condescension dripping from his voice what kind of caveman barges into a home wearing a t-shirt and tennis shoes and says he's here to claim his woman my tone turns musing I know exactly what type of Neanderthal would have the goal to do something like that Corbin and I lock gazes as we share a smile uh what's going on here Reed demands looking from Corbin to me well Professor Reed this is what US country bumpkins like to call a guaranteed gesture skate injects with a bite in her voice you see the minute Corbin made the gesture to storm in here the outcome was guaranteed a triumphant smile fills her face in case you need me to spell it out for you that means that Corbin won Blakeley over the moment he charged through the door longing washes over Corbin's rugged face please tell me that's the case he says with such depth of emotion that another tear slips down my cheek everything in me wants to jump up this instant and fling my arms around Corbin's neck I want to kiss him until I can't breathe however I need something clarified first I PE into his eyes as everyone around us disappears what about sadonna a fair question you asked me on the ship how I would react if sadonna were to suddenly show up and want me back his jaw works I tried to give you a straight answer but you and I both knew I couldn't he gives me a meaningful look not then he steals his jaw his voice quivering with fervor now I can say without the slightest hesitation that when it comes to you and sadonna there's no competition it's you all the way he Chuckles softly from the moment we met it has only been you tears blur my vision as he continues you're my sweet spot doc oh how I love love hearing those words they fill my hungry soul and complete me in a way that I've never known I press my lips together as I try to contain my emotion Corbin searches my face what about you his voice hardens as he glances at Reed now that the professor has popped the question which will it be him or the neanderthal do you even have to ask Reed scoffs Blakeley would never be happy with someone like you Corbin balls his fist letting me know that Reed is two shakes away from getting the snot beaten out of him I Rise to my feet and wedge between them I turn to Corbin actually when it comes to you and Reed there's no competition I realize now that there never was told you Reed says smugly I look Corbin in the eye it was always you from the first moment we met my voice trembles with emotion you were right I was scared an understanding smile touches Corbin's lips I was scared too that's why I grabbed your phone and tried to shut the competition down hard I'm sorry he says softly me too I owe you a phone by the way you do a playful grin tips my lips and a workout that's right Corbin draws we never did get around to working out together his eyes deepen with a smolder as he makes a point of looking at my lips too many other tasks were commanding our attention oh are you actually choosing him Reed scoffs the astonishment in his voice Rises a dry chuckle in my throat wow you are one arrogant man amen Albany belts out Reed draws himself up his face turning purple you're making a mistake he says coldly he throws Corbin a contemptuous glare when you get bored of your caveman don't come crawling back to me Corbin swears under his breath and moves to attack but I place my palm in the center of his chest don't I say he's not worth it we lock eyes for one long minute until Corbin nods and relaxes his shoulders I turn back to read yes he's arrogant and clueless when it comes to relationships but I don't wish him any ill will go back to Cresta and your kids I encourage that's where your heart has always been for once you should make a decision and stick to it I can tell from the way Reed's eyes narrow that my words have fallen on deaf ears so be it goodbye Blakeley he Clips with stilted dignity as he turns on his heel and strides to the door when he reaches my group of friends they part like the Red Sea to let him pass so Corbin says his eyes brimming with Mischief now that our lesson on the 101 on love has officially come to a close and the professor has exited the building what should we do now I have no idea how we'll navigate the various obstacles that the future will hold but right now I don't even care one way or another we'll figure it out I need Corbin in my life as much as I need air what matters is that he's here my eyes move to his lips as heat simmers my blood you could always kiss me I utter in a quick forceful movement he encircles my waist and pulls me to him his gaze trails to my mouth as my lips par heart instinctively nah I could never kiss you he pauses a wicked glimmer in his eyes it's your job to kiss me he finishes with a cocky grin Amusement circles through me is that right I taunt yeah he swoops in and gives me a demanding kiss that leaves us both breathless a minute later ski interrupts Us by chirping smile for the camera I freeze pulling my mouth away from Corbin please tell me the reporters haven't followed you here he blinks in concern as skate giggles this is all me and these are for your photo album she holds up her camera and snaps several pictures photo album I asked dubiously yep y'all turn and face me ski directs sharing a look of amusement Corbin and I turn towards her he keeps his arm firmly planted around my waist say cheese ski prompts as she takes a picture this is the first photo of the rest of your lives together she points out that fateful evening when Corbin swooped in and made his guaranteed gesture that marked the start of y'all floating off to find your very own happily ever after I like the sound of that Corbin grins me too I agree heartily something smells good Jasper observes as he shoves his hands into his pockets and rocks forward on the balls of his feet is anyone else hungry I am bow pipes in you're always hungry ski her rums to Jasper she throw him an affectionate grin before shaking her head I can't take him anywhere she looks at BO or you either Bo holds up his hands I can't help it that Presley is out of town and I've had to fend for myself I tip my head you know what I'm sure there's plenty of manicotti for everyone are you sure pen asks hesitantly looking at the candle lit table we don't want to intrude of course we do Albany pipes in intruding is what we do best I won't argue with that I quip as Albany sticks her tongue out at me my gaze goes to my sometimes intrusive but always fiercely devoted older brother before traveling over my best friends one by one they had the torque to set me straight even when I didn't want to listen what would I ever do without them I stop at Corbin my heart overflowing with gratitude over this manly Warrior who Thrills me from head to toe I may not be able to see the end from where I'm standing at this very moment but I know that it will be an epic Thrill Ride and I'm pushing aside the fear and diving in full force more moisture prickles my eyes as I say exuberantly all joking aside I can't think of a better way to end this day than by sharing it with y'all Corbin shifts so that he can look me in the eye his expression goes Earnest is it too soon for me to say I love you my heart melts into a puddle of Goo as my tone goes ponderous H I'm sure I can find something in my gargantuan bag of quotes that talks about how human relationships aren't limited to the constraints of time smooth laughter rolls from his throat you're good he appraises I purse my lips like I'm sifting through the contents of my brain you want a quote how about we start with this one I love you I Proclaim with significance he blinks in Surprise before a large smile fills his handsome face exactly which philosopher said that Blakeley donalson and you can quote me on it I don't need to be standing on the bow of a ship to fly as high and free as Kate Winslet ever did I'm soaring so high I might never come back to earth again trust me I will he murmurs as his lips claim m once more this has been the 101 on love good girls don't come last written by Jennifer Youngblood narrated by Lori West copyright 2023 by Jennifer Youngblood production copyright by Jennifer Youngblood