Chicks With Picks Week #1: Cowboys/Browns Rams/Lions Packers/Eagles Jets/Niners

everybody Welcome to chicks with picks we are here to chat about football the NFL players we like people we hate and bag on mic a little bit so I am going to talk about the Cowboys and the Browns as you can see for my flag my jersey my name you could probably pick or decide who I'm going to pick to win this game I have my Cowboys all the way covering the spread I think they're going to go over the total because because they just kick ass and who gives a [ __ ] about the Browns so we're gonna pass this over to Mike and he's going to talk about the Lions because he became a fan for some reason last season when they started doing good but everybody knows that we won that game and he did not report H that's that all all all that she said is true uh what is also true is that we have Scarlet the Mistress of Darkness here that Kayla truly truly didn't introduce mostly because she probably can't actually see Scarlet because she doesn't have any Lighting in her room it is this terrifying dark Vis that we are looking at right now um and Scarlet Scarlet is joined by her uh sister who is the sister of the Mistress of Darkness who is in the even darker room and we can't even see her and her name on my screen is Veron which is terrifying it sounds like she's a Lord of the Rings antagonist it's Theon Von vron it's like the sister of Taron it's uh yeah all of this is accurate um so uh What uh what what Kayla is saying is true I am a Shameless Lions band Wagner for this year uh because my other option would be to be a Patriots fan which is what I am and there's no joy in Mudville for that and I don't think anyone want to listen to me spend each and every week talking about how the Patriots are going to get ruffle stomped and the other problem would be the fact that I'm at peace with it like the whole point of having a Patriots fan on a podcast would be that you get to click them all they're down because we had 4 years of us being a bunch of jerks being yeah br's GNA CR you oh we the best F expell and like if I was like a lunatic who still thought the Patriots were going to do good that would be good content because every week Kayla and Scarlet could be like he mik got the P to and I'm like shut up they're getting better maybe they'll win next week but be ride or die that's how it works ride or die Cowboys have bad Seasons they were three in 12 one year ride or die just you know have a drink during the game try and some pain away just imagining post game pod with me half in the bag just being I can't believe the G of that 33 we had them we had these JS into they got away I mean just uh think that would be a little little much um what I was gonna say also is uh I agree with Kayla on I like the Cowboys I do like the Cowboys this week I don't know that I trust uh Cleveland because desat Watson is a sex Pest and a monster and rooting for the Browns kind of makes your skin crawl because you have to support you have to support you have to support that terrible monster of a human being uh but the thing I will disagree on is I think the total of 41 this game Feels Like a Rock fight because the uh I again Watson makes it so I don't trust the Browns off def at all they don't have Nick chub he's out for a while still after like literally it looked like his leg had been taken off at the knee like last year like that injury was like literally the most gruesome knee injury of the season and somehow he was like ah just a regular T ACL I'll be fine which was when you saw it like he looked like a he looked like a horse that fell at the track you thought they were gonna put the tent over Nick chub and it was going to be all over and it was GNA be really tragic but no uh but like I just don't trust the Browns offense I do trust their defense the the Cowboys it's CD lamb and a bunch of receivers I've never really heard of so I feel like it's a rock fight I feel like the uh I feel like the Cowboys win like like 1710 17 13 I think 41's a lot of points for those two teams I don't trust them at all yes I think my guys will get at least 21 that well you to 21 then that means the Browns got to get to 20 to hit that total so get more I mean you never know we'll see yeah it's possible it's possible so uh so yeah that's how I see your game uh so now uh Scarlet is here for a simple reason you heard me talk so much and act like I know what's going on in football and what happened me and Scarlet were in a big pool pool like 120 150 people in that pool I sweated over my pck sheet every week agonizing over every play I finished seventh I won a small quantity of money the person who ran the pool was like uh VW has posted a sign reading go Browns anag antagonizing Taylor for reasons that we will professional NFL approved flag and she has a homemade like first grade gold Brown son printer paper or something with like a magic marker it was a highlighter highlighter close yeah uh but uh so again uh when it was all said and done the the people running the the pool handed me my tiny little SL uh little amount of money and compensation for my weeks of Agony Scarlet hit a button that said pick whatever you want on it just hit the button that said pick your teams click Scarlet finished fourth and received piles of money piles in the ceiling far greater and higher than mine so uh all so the whole point of this is that no one knows nothing we're all a bunch morons that's what this comes down to so basically after after Kayla and I agonize over what we think is going to happen in a game Scott's Gonna Roll some dice and divine them like tarot cards and tell us if we're right or wrong so uh Scarlet yeah uh pick one of you guys vote and tell us if the Browns or the Cowboys are gonna win or cover this game this week all right so oh we got a seven that's low that's pretty low when uh when seven Okay so uh because it goes It goes from a one to a 20 so half like a little under half yes a little under half so like a 5050 like yeah like you know take it 5050 okay aren that bad I like Kayla I like Kayla's Outlook just looking on the bright side you know taking this seven maybe it means that the Cowboys will win by seven exactly that is a great way to look at it I like that I like that out look that's what I'm going with what I what I liked about that was you said taking the seven and the Cowboys are a two and a half Point dog and when you bet the underdog you say you take the points so that again is an interpretation of that this is what's so awesome about this nonsense is you could interpret whatever you want the fact that it was a seven is a low number which means the under is probable right so again just divination like that's the point of all of this is that we are seeking out answers from the cosmic Beyond via instruments and unfortunately we can't uh sacrifice a a goat and scry through its entrails as the ancient Romans did so instead we're much more civilized than we roll dice so it really just goes show that you don't need to know like you don't need to to pour over these stats you don't need the data all you need is a button that says random or or dice yes dice that you can interpret in any which way you want exactly yeah so what what did your randomize pick of the week say for Cowboys Browns what did your randomizer generate for you my randomizer um got me let's see you see how we totally prepared for this segment just AB solid professional podcasting here folks um I remember looking at my pcks and I forgot all of them immediately um so nothing stood out then absolutely you were like absolutely nothing um my my random picks did pick the Browns um well random isn't always right no no from the beyond all from the the power from the dead of night just oh God I told you the reason why I went Browns I would normally probably go Cowboys any other game Miz so our our reasons for this our reasons for the Browns picks we have here are dice randomization of a pick pool and Von's being a fan of a wrestler yep yes reasons yeah but yeah so uh yes this this out that you're tuning into folks this is the hard-hitting NFL study that you have to look forward to all year long uh so slowly pulling this thing back on the tracks um I am your resident Lions Ben Wagner and um I do love the Lions uh this week is very interesting because this game for the Lions and the Rams was a the lions were a three and a half Point favorite all week and right before uh you listening and as you're listening right now the Chiefs Raven game is getting ready to kick off any minute now and uh Theon is now tormenting me with the fact that uh Jimmy G is the backup for the Rams Jimmy G is her future husband Scarlet's future brother-in-law uh and as a result uh I much as Kayla has earned Von's emnity by going against The Miz I have earned her emnity by picking against Jimmy garoppolo's current employer her sign just said go Jimmy G team she didn't even write the name of the team was just go whatever team any but but it also exp to how important Jimmy G is to her because the Miz The Miz didn't get go Miz team he wasn't important now I gotta edit it oh my gosh so yes uh but uh so basically um in the past few minutes uh the line has moved from three and a half to four and a half and the total on this game has gone from 50 and a half to 52 so suddenly somewhere in America people were just like we love the lions are just seling money on Detroit and they also bumped the total up which always kind of weirds me out week one because there's really no preseason anymore no one practices no one plays uh so offenses are kind of not in perfect sync all the time at the start of the Season it takes a little while to round into shape that's a nice way to put it you could just say it's a [ __ ] show like the first game and like the first few snaps you know nobody knows what they're doing they're just kind of like oh wait hold on I think we were supposed to run it you m m team however the Rams don't rate the Rams are still not on the Go Jimmy G side section of the the the Rams the Rams can go pound sand they don't they don't count they don't rap yeah yeah like it was all about the Raiders sort of Just Wind baby that's the Raiders uh but but uh I do like even I I like uh again somber football analysis guy cares about the difference between three and a half and four and a half kind of hate that that that point jumped up like that but I still think the Lions win this game I think the lions are the best team in the NFC I think that this is going to be I mean they're a wagon they're a wagon I mean they they got they got skill everywhere like they're they're gonna win the north I I can say that but the whole NFC I mean so who do you think gets the one seat in the NFC who ends up with the best record of the NFC everybody keeps talking about the Eagles I don't know about that but we'll see I think the Cowboys should actually get six or seven to then play the South because the south is going to be last everybody knows that they're disaster so it's who's the least disaster and then the Cowboys can win that game build up their confidence and then lose the next one and then that's just how it goes being a cowboy yeah I feel the agony but I'll just say it I do I I think that I don't like I don't like Philly for the one seed uh that's the that's the main thing because I think the Niners are going to come down a little bit uh the NFC South as you explained is absolute stains so there's no faith in that anyone in there doing anything and so because I don't trust Philly I don't trust Dallas I don't trust the NFC South I don't trust the ners it's the Lions by default I just think the Lions by default are going to end up with the best record in the NFC and I do think they win this game I think it probably goes under because 52 is a lot for uh a week one game but it's in a dome it's gonna be it could be a track meet it's Sunday Night Football it'd be fun if it was a high-scoring game but uh I'm not here for fun I'm here to accurately predict games and then right yeah I think it could be a shootout you never know that's possible but I I just uh I just think Lions under is my uh my my call for the game so what what what say you Carolina cowgirl what say you of the game I mean I think that the lions are gonna win I I agree there I think they have way more powerful of an offense so I think it's going to be you know a shootout for sure I don't think their defense has it all together they have some pieces but uh I don't know about them I don't think the Rams are gonna win at all so I don't know if they're gonna score 52 but to watch it'll be exciting yeah so do the four and a half are the Lions gonna cover the four and a half yeah that's okay okay yeah for sure that was that that filled my heart with gladness so you were snap yeah they in the four and a half m don't don't don't sweat your pretty little head the LI have this in the back bro so like man that that felt good agree with the whole NFC number one we're the be like that's that's a little you know exaggerated statement but I think that they will win the north I don't think the Packers you know the other person's team to the bottom I don't think well yes and again we will now turn to the Mistress of Char's tools intimidation and also who did you pick randomly for this game um this one your randomizer should have picked the right team there's there's a right and wrong answer for this my randomizer picked a team if I can find it um it's put at the bottom it's one of the last games there they are it picked the Rams oh my God so my my randomizer knew that my future brother-in-law was gonna be on the team back up or not he's still on the team what if he get traded just all shift to the they will defect from the ram so fast okay yeah so wait um Scarlet does that mean your randomizer picked the mizes team and it did my randomizer is with you gosh my sign is accurate um but just so you know Mike um my dice my dice picked a two that's not great seven is good so the two this is a this is a massively negative Omen both the randomizer and the D have said that the that the Lion's pick is going down in flames yeah this is just the Titanic yeah so um Outlook not so hot think ball and it's just like boom not great bro not great bro I I need a magic eightball to say that that would be the ultimate like thing to pop up on the magic eightball not great bro oh man yeah wow you're vicious yeah sorry to just take that knife and like twist it but again this is what it's all about we're here for this and uh so now we throw it we throw it to our expert in the I don't know occult the spirits the the the the the the world Beyond worlds uh so uh Scarlet explain why you're supporting the Green Bay Packers this year so uh I'm supporting the Green Bay Packers because I put every single n NFL team into random.org on a list and I hit random and Green Bay Packers popped up number one so the Green Bay Packers are my team they are me and I am them just for this year though not for next year no who knows I mean they could they could end up being random at the top again next year but this year I am a cheese head through and through Y and so uh for uh this week the uh cheesee heads are in Brazil to play the Philadelphia Eagles yeah uh there there someone at my work uh someone at the office uh told me that there was a claim that neither team would be wearing green in this game because green was an illegal gang color in Brazil New Jersey they're kelly green jersey green like the color of Brazil's everything flag right they're flag exactly they're I mean I think it was like the stadium in particular had a problem with green I don't know what exactly was going on uh Von is showing us her green phone it's a different shade of green but all green everything Bizarro World Eva Marie I love it uh but uh I then looked up online and it turned out that the Green Bay Packers are in fact wearing green the Eagles are wearing white this whole thing is this whole thing is a lie and I was and I looked at that I looked at that person and I told them if this green thing was true the NFL would not have sent two teams that only wear green down to Brazil to play this game it would have been the Giants and the commanders or something a team that wears red versus a team that wears blue they would not have had this they would not have had this green embargo upon them so um uh so so like are you actually going to like pick this game or are we just going with what the randomizer told you was gonna happen to your beloved team this week um so interesting story um my randomizer uh picked Philadelphia that's the right so my I mean do I do I turn against my team in the very first game of the year according to my randomizer yes I do um and you know I have to do what the randomizer tells me yes iag yeah and you I mean I'm a Cowboys fan saying I think the Eagles are going to win shouldn't that hold a lot right there come on like yeah I picked Green Bay just because it was your team Scarlet well also to be fair the game we went to and the Eagles won I kind of was like annoyed with the Eagles yeah can't do that it was the preseason Patriots versus Eagles one of my co-work ERS gave me tickets nice this year yeah I'll have to send you the pictures yeah it was front row it was insane and the Eagles fans were mean no they were they were fine oh they just beat it they just beat the Patriots by one point so well it doesn't count it's preseason it's like theam like doesn't matter okay's team okay and now your randomizer has let me down because we were in sync and now we're not I can see what my I can see what my dice tells me right well now the thing is is that the dice is going to reflect your pick of the of the of the Eagles right how does the randomizer feel how does the dice feel about the randomizer it's two random forces battling the dice um gave me a two so the dice is on the Packers as well so hey I mean the dice the dice are the perfect color for Green Bay it's like green green so I think it makes sense that the dice isic the dice is cosmically uh going with the Packers the dice are bias I like that I went to these dice are bias for GRE Bay that's awesome loaded dice did you put like a weight in these always low numbers under 10 that was two two twos in a row here really bad if we were playing D and D right now oh dead oh your character's dead oh he's they're getting absolutely absolutely smashed oh so one more thing they're not covering they're not they're we're hitting we're picking the under 40 was it 49 and a half in Brazil I they both teams have to travel down to down to South America I don't think I mean I don't think to go there than go to Europe it's like what time I don't think we're but I no I agree because of the fact that uh what Kayla Kay said so meanly earlier that like it's really terrible the first week because these teams don't know how to play offense anymore they got to learn and I was like they got to round into shape so yeah uh I I think 49's High I think 49 is high for especially a high travel game like this and there's been a lot of talk about how this has been kind of crummy for the players like some players have been saying stuff like yeah I'm not leaving my hotel room I'm in my hotel room I go to practice I go back to my hotel room basically they're like under house arrest it doesn't sound like any of the players are having a great time adventuring to Brazil so I can see this being a sort of put your head down wait till the clock hits all zeros get on the plane get out of town get out of here so yeah I can never come back we will never we will never darken San Paulo's doors again so yeah I I I'm I I don't again I think the side on this game is really tough because I think that both the Green Bay and Philly are good but I do like the under I do think the under is a robust uh decision and um I approve I approve under I have no idea what that even means so you don't even have it's fine he like a field goal each like one field goal and then it's gonna end a three three tie yes that's what I'm picking three three tie oh God you're gonna change oh that'd be so awesome that that that comes to fruition and it's just like oh man Mike Reigns The Cosmic sear of Sears how did he pick the three three tie I mean what a what an awesome awesome uh also horrible uh prediction uh so yeah um and so that that is our uh three games that we are F the the teams that we're supporting but now I will throw it over to Kayla to finish the show with the big game of the week yeah so our big game this week is the match between the Jets and the 49ers this should be very simple for people to figure out who's going to win I mean all the Jets have is Aaron Rogers and a few people that's it the 49ers who have beat the cow many times so again coming from a Cowboy fan that should hold more weight 49ers of CMC they have my guy Debo who went to the University of South Carolina so shout out he's a Gamecock I always cheer for him except when he plays my team when he's not playing my team I will cheer for him so I have the 49ers winning I think CMC is gonna blow through 90 yards it's just going to be a great game for him the Panthers are going to sit and cry and wonder why they let him go again for another year um what is the total for that 43 yeah I think they're going over that there's it's they're going to get a lot the Jets have a relatively piec meal together defense they're going to run right through him they might just run the ball the whole time maybe debos is gonna sit there and be a running back who knows we'll see yeah that is a full Fred endorsement of the ners I this is a this is an interesting game to me uh you've got the uh the ners don't have their left tackle uh iuk just came back from his contract dispute and this is it for the Jets they have to win um I they have to win this year or it's all over uh I I'm not gonna pick the Jets to win but I think the Jets cover the four and a half I think the Jets keep this in they they stay within shouting distance of the ners but they come up short I think the ners probably win this game like 2420 somewhere around there and the fact that you're getting four and a half points with the Jets makes it uh not not a bad decision because I think these are close teams I don't think I I mean if the Jets get blown out then there's there's a lot of trouble in Paradise if the Jets get run out the building in this game because they this is it this is their last season of uh Aaron Rodgers and not being absolute stains so they got to do it if they don't they're done so yeah that they rebuild the entire offensive l line to protect Aaron Rogers how much time did they even have together I mean right place four big play for fre first Achilles yeah right but I mean then they rebuilt that team they they fired some of the offensive lineman and brought in new people because they didn't want everybody running for their life remember the poor kid Zach Wilson he was out there running like there were bears chasing him or like wolves or something running around the field scrambling I felt so bad for him then he turned and tried his best so this is not a fullblown offensive line that can do their job but maybe I'll be proved wrong I don't know I think I think Aaron should hand the ball off and then that way he'll stay alive throughout the throughout the whole game and be able to play it but yeah what a what a simp uh what a culating endorsement of the uh of the jet off line yeah so yeah uh so Scarlet uh finish us up and let us know is Kayla right about this game what does the randomizer say what does the do what does the dice say what does the fox say all right so my randomizer all green everything my randomizer my randomizer did in fact pick the Jets but again it's just to cover the spread not you know yeah not not a promise Victory wi but to cover the spread um let's see let's see what the dice have to say for themselves so you think the will get within like a field goal right you think they'll keep it like three points or maybe do something stupid and you know Miss a extra point and keep it within two or one or something d So based off of the The Pick of the randomizer and the Jets um now the dice uh gave me a one so the Jets win by a million then because this is this is a role that's that's a referendum on Kayla's pick so jet money line all day a that failure we Absol critical failed oh my God it's all the Green Man green the D are green D buas for Green Bay dice are biased for the Jets these are green Dice and they know Green teams so okay so you must like the Dolphins because they're green oh they Aqua they're more Aqua than green but yeah nobody else is green doin because like dolphin yeah yeah I don't see any other Green Team so those are the only green ones you must like did you see the Chargers New Jersey they have this like wicked cool Navy Jersey that has a light on it I don't like the Chargers but I love the Seahawks the Seahawks when they wear that all green chef's kiss right there Sharpie they they bust out the Sharpies yeah I love it that is a kind of that's kind of a badass Jersey I will say that if I was a Seahawks fan that's the only one I'd get i' just get that the different players bright green the Cowboys jerseys are so Bland like all these like are coming out with new jerseys the commanders Washington whatever they have a New Jersey it's like this black one that was pretty cool during preseason we need we need some piz the commanders they've had that alternate black Jersey for a while I think once they Chang yeah once they Chang the name of the commanders they had that alternate jersey last year okay I liked it yeah it's cool it's cool and again and it tells them an ALT helmet they wear an ALT helmet when they wear that one they they got the they got the numbers the Panthers have like this like crazy black one with the blue outline like that's really cool we're just like plain like I don't they need like designer or something the cowboy the Cowboys are tradition that's just the way that is the Cowboys are tradition I like some new some new fun stuff theyd sell more and that's what everybody wants more cowboy stuff more merch yeah right more green more green I feel like I should buy you some sort of green teams like t-shirt or Jersey or something for Christmas and be like here you go green back your greenness green lady literally everything is green yeah uh well uh that covers everything we were GNA cover I do believe so um guess uh I would like to thank uh scarlet vron and Caleb for showing up being here are the inog chicks with pck pod uh hope this was a slightly less of a train wreck than it could have been uh and uh good luck everybody this weekend we'll be back next week to commiserate with all our picks going down in in in Flames except for the picks of the green dice which know everything see everything and are everything and the Cowboys and the Cowboys good luck Cowboys uh I support you everyone yell get their last words in Yay good luck everybody