[Applause] [Music] [Applause] yes yes mhm it appears there's no debate around my sex appeal happy Wednesday everyone so people are accusing last night's debate moderators of teaming up against Trump while letting comma slide true Trump was constantly under attack by the moderators so much so you'd think they were working from a slanted roof felt like an ambush you know with commin and the moderators jumping all over Trump I haven't seen a three-on-one that disturbing since I was at that Golden Girls Afterparty I just watched it's what I like to do understandably the moderators were heavily criticized for their bias but David mure seemed completely unmoved by the critiques in a biased fact check of trump M claimed crime is down using discredited data from the FBI wow David's so gullible he probably still believes those photos I took of him really were for a charity calendar jokes on you meanwhile KLA Harris referred to January 6 as the greatest attack on American democracy since the Civil War she said this the day before September 11th that's like saying you had a terrible seat at the theater to marry Todd Lincoln too soon ah some Lincoln truthers here second shooter huh despite troops in Iraq Syria and sailors in the Middle East KLA Harris claims there was not one American troop in war zones that's only true about Tim wals but less than an hour after the debate ended the Harris campaign challenged Trump to a second debate in October sober her only demands are that they add more objective moderators meanwhile kamla was noted for her exaggerated facial expressions here she is reacting to Donald Trump's comments on the Afghanistan withdrawal ah you guys like some art all right monologue so as crime remains a major issue in the presidential election American voters got to win witness yet another felony firsthand it was last night when you saw an entire network sneak up on a candidate and mug him instead of asking Trump to shake her hand at the start Harris should have asked him to hand over his wallet watch and phone but ABC's blatant assault wasn't just on trump it was also an attack on you the voter because last night an entire network decided that their own politics was more important than answering the one question every unsure voter wanted answered who the hell is kamla Harris the repulsive pair of moderators obliterated your right to know denying once again the nation a fair and honest election for our highest office it truly was the first Dei debate where different standards were enforced on Trump while Harris had none worse the moderators contempt for us is so total they didn't care who saw it but hey what's your reputation as a News Network when you got an election to sabotage they now have less credibility than M at a bar mitzvah now I could go over all the times Trump was fact checked by the moderators and Harris wasn't or how the host pressed Trump for multiple follow-ups but didn't for Harris but it's 10 p.m. and by now you've heard all that news I swear if I hear three against one one more time I'm going to cancel my group massage with Hansen it was clear that Lindsey Davis and David Mir gave KLA the easiest night she's had since Willie Brown ran out of Viagra terrible I apologize rather than a policy debate we got ABC baiting Trump and KLA piling on it was designed to make Trump look bad and avoid forcing Harris to explain why she's flipped every position like she did burgers at her makeb believe job at McDonald's she lied at will without a single fact checked even trotting out the fine people project 2025 and bloodbath hoaxes all three are provable lies but nothing nothing from M and Lindsay who might as well been wearing KLA 2024 hats Ms would have had to been a triple XXL the guy's head is like a microwave with a hairpiece but perhaps the greatest unmasked question was how KLA got to be on that stage in the first place how could the moderators not have asked her about why she hid Biden's dementia from the American people it took Trump to ask her who is actually running the country right now what's scary is she didn't have an answer for that either they didn't even bother with kamla's newly posted policy agenda cut and pasted job from Joe Biden's old campaign website wouldn't that seem relevant to a woman who kept repeating I have a plan it's clear ABC the American public they torped I would say hold your applause but I know it's hard they torpedoed the one opportunity for voters to see who Harris really was and now there's no way that you can actually judge who won or lost the debate it's like trying to guess the price of a painting once you know it's a forgery and that's what this debate was about as real as Rachel lavine's periods the Dems could say they won but the public lost this was the one chance for America to see Harris unvarnished and ABC chose to Varnish her but you also got to ask why would kamla risk trotting out all those debunked hoaxes cuz she knew the fix was in they were going to run cover for her it's kind of like me picking a fight at a bar with Tyrus by my side why worry I'll sit back and trck comp and then take credit for everything but you also got to wonder why ABC would tank its reputation and spit on the American public to prop her up they must know her campaign's in trouble and that emergency surgery but not on kamla on Trump make him look as ugly as possible so she looks better and his angry reaction is what they wanted they created an ambush to elicit his rage then they could say oh look at his anger it's like asking why are Brian kill's arms flailing as you try to drown him in a bathtub he puts up a struggle meanwhile you learn nothing of Harris as intended this is inflation is still double digits our border still doesn't exist and our inner cities are descending into unlivable hell holes you think two so-called journalists on a major Network might have noticed but expecting honesty from ABC is like expecting Integrity from Pon scum oh same thing let's welcome tonight's gu shees our favorite Tulsi cuz no one else is named Tulsi member of the Trump transition team Tulsi gabber he looks like the guy who craps on your sidewalk oh wait that is him founder of Studio tsc.com Michael Loft she's like Madonna from Michigan and 66 years old New York Elling off F contributor cat old pregnant nice job and you could go sledding on his to Nails New York Times bestselling author comedian and former NWA world champion tyus tulsy you're on Trump's transition team what did you make of last night were you surprised how the moderators heavily weighted the debate not at all yeah not at all uh I I think we it was uh what we should all have expected uh we see how these people operate you know you look at the comments that mure has made look at the comments that lindsy Davis has made their bias was baked in from the very beginning because they're not real journalists they are essentially these political operatives whose job it is to try to distract away from kamla Harris's record distract away from the serious issues that we face not a single question was raised about uh how are you going to prevent the destruction of our country and the world from nuclear war which we are closer to than ever before and on the eve of the ismus terrorist attack on 911 they did not raise a point a question or a challenge about how either of these candidates will stem the spread of this radical islamist ideology around the world and in our own country here at home and how you would prevent this threat from continuing to grow so you know they were not at all interested in in informing the American people about the truth about anything uh we can expect that they will continue to be propagandists for kamla Harris do you think Trump could have been more prepared in that Arena I mean I was caught off guard by the bias but he knows they're going to come after him could he have been could he have not taken the bait as much you think maybe you know the thing about Donald Trump is he's not a politician yeah so unlike K Harris who spent the last week rehearsing scripted lines that pollsters wrote for her um you know Donald Trump wears his heart on his sleeve and so he had three people coming at him and uh you know calling things out on him and it it was just it was a very one-sided thing I think the thing that Donald Trump did was he kept on even as he got worked up in his answers about different things he kept on bringing it back to higher cost of living under uh con Harris and Joe Biden uh tens of millions of Americans streaming across our border and the increasing crime in our communities and and those are the things that people are concerned about you know uh Loftus uh everybody knows that you're homeless and a lesbian uh and you have to typically scr for food were you offended or jealous when Trump talked about illegals eating pets did that did that I was a little jealous when I heard about cat eating I'm like what I love that uh I thought I thought Trump had an amazing night a completely amazing night like he signed up for a DAT a debate and got Fight Club instead yes against like three different people I would have left the room you you cuz you look at the the moderators who looked like they just came off the set of Dick Tracy right you had shoulders McGee and Captain nface and then Kamala laala dingdong strolls in looking like count chocula she she took like six days to prepare oh when he says something I'm going to put my hand on my chin take that and and then her big response is I have a plan yeah and no details to the plan which I I invite every body to try that in their real life when Visa calls and like hey you missed a you missed a a payment and just go I have a plan I guarantee they won't be oh okay take care I'll see you later bye-bye God what if that works I'm I'm actually going to try that when I get home cat uh were you somehow distracted by David mir's dreamy stare thought you were I thought you were going to say Dave girl's secret baby hey wait a minute INE in which case I kind of was distracted M expect expected that from literally anyone else right anyway whatever um no um I also think look I think that Republicans might have done a disservice by setting the bar so low for kamla that she formed complete sentences so it people were like wow right yeah but also the debate I think it's it doesn't really matter that much and I think that's never been clearer than fact the polling in the wake of the last debate which I mean that changed the course of everything Biden so bad did so badly they were like oh this this man stopped being a part of public life almost entirely right and I and I I saw a PLL I think Trump gained one point on him after that yeah and Biden lost two points when the debate made it so clear that he needed to you know not just like probably go to the hospital right right so I think it it's it's very interesting to view with within the context of that also that is true it's a good point I think everybody's made their decisions except really strange people yeah I I really really strange that's a nice way of calling them great I'm I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't know I'm sorry yeah I'm undecided yeah like where have you been there you unless you're in outer space that's the only thing you're infuriated as I was okay I'm going to put it in the words of my 10-year-old daughter Daddy this is some what is it was the only time she didn't get in trouble for cussing listen we know exactly who we saw who Kamala is we saw we saw exactly the choices in this country we have a person who's running as president to be president and then we have the Socialist Party which is putting their next puppet up so he went into a home he went into their home game he went into their house he sat on their couch they served him the meal it sucked the the the drinks were warm it was exactly what we thought it would do the only thing that drove me completely in Saye was when every time they stopped this is a historic you don't get to call yourself historic somebody else has to maybe on Twitter they're like wow this is the most historic attempted a debate I've ever seen in my life you should be proud of that I don't know but there was one point that I think was his greatest moment in the debate because debate was a show because he knew what it was and I'm sorry but you can only get hit so many times we start hitting back okay yeah you want to talk and you talked about his rallies he's not the one with five star acts there going on before him to get everybody in and then when they stop singing they leave that's not him ma that's you but the thing that he did was when he talked about Obamacare he said we didn't have anything better I didn't like it but I wanted to help improve it he showed he's willing to walk across lines for what's best for the American people so I I thought that was the biggest point of the debate is that he showed he can work what did she show a lot of world leaders said you're stupid and no one likes you only one question like with the oh we own guns 20 what kind I have a plan which one yeah world leaders which one none of them so again great debate in terms of seeing the fact that he's willing to go anywhere he'll play on the road to be your president and that's who you should want because she won't come to another Network and fox won't even put it in ins side they'll just call it straight down the line but that's too dangerous because goofy might come out so I think it's important to point out too that speak speaking of goofy coming out after an hour and a half long debate with three people coming at him Donald Trump walked off that stage he's like I want to go to the spin room where where the hundreds of reporters are hanging out and go talk to them and KLA Harris gotten her she her congratulations speech and screwed it up she did all right we got to move on kids up next Squall Wells having bad dreams over over cat memes if you'll be in the New York area and would like tickets to see gelt go to foxnews.com gelt and click on the link to join our studio audience hey hey hey it's video of the dayy he once dated a spy now memes make him cry Democrat Eric swell the famous farter brings us our video of the day nearly burst a blood vessel over a meme Jim Jordan retweeted showing Trump hugging a kitten and a duck at a hearing on comm's open border roll it Boris what in the hell is this the chairman tweets protect our ducks and kittens in Ohio because he goes some down goes down some crazy Rabbit Hole completely debunked that aliens are eating pets [Laughter] are you okay Mr chairman when we have victims coming here you're tweeting this nonsense I I don't know why you would do this I hope you're okay oh God I hope you're okay it's just a meme about a kitty and a duck it's not like he banged a spy for God's sake isn't this a great Loftus like you know these memes are memes are hilarious they're only hilarious for some reason from the right and the left can't do it then they just get so mad the AI is going to have him like literally exploding in front of us you know the the Trump holding and saving the kittens he can't take it Mr fangfang it's it's wild to me that they get more upset over a fake cat and duck meme than actual violence being perpetrated on people right like you can go oh this person was killed by an illegal and they go oh well what are you going to do it happens you know and you're like somebody ate a cat like what the what you better not meme about that I will fart on camera where's fangfang he's the only thing that makes it better is that he is forever associated with farting on camera and being left by a Chinese spy she left him that's how his gas was like she was trained by the Chinese government to withstand torture and no Kung Fu but she was like I got to get away from this guy when he hits the broccoli I got to I gotta go talk about a toxic relationship cat what did you think of this response I actually don't think Eric swell was outraged at all I think he was pretending to be outraged and I know this because of the way he puts his hand we have the way he puts his his hand out on his head it looks like a plan choreography like this look at that look at that he's like and a one two and then he's like back up that looks like a kid in a school play look at that that is not that is not an actually upset person when you're upset you're like and it's kind of a more fluid motion it is a very choppy motion that he clearly looked at his notes and said hand out head one two and then he lifted it up so it's even worse he's pretending to be outraged to rile people up over this he doesn't give a about this meme can we show that again uh there's that one little movie does uh maybe and this is my theory do it with show them do it do it like this you know what he's doing notes hand on hand he's getting he's trying to whiff his own fart yeah going to smell he covering his eyes you made a great Point yeah you made a great point I think I can help I think I can help out with this a little bit as that's one of my go-to moves especially when you get left and broken up would I never want to hear the reasons why so always go oh man I know it's my fault yeah oh she's still here oh that's a patented do thing grab your face so you can mask that you actually care I think the big number and the big thing is this is that 49 million. three people thought it was funny too so on behalf of all 49.3 million of us you Eric swalwell that was funny uh tulsy lus in a rare rare occurrence has made a good point that they didn't care about the illegal immigration problem until there was a meme about it the memes work yeah you know how dare you do that yeah and I mean like you know look at how cute and cuddly that picture is that's really what they can't stand but but yeah I I completely agree uh and we saw this in the debate as well uh from M instead of actually focusing on the challenges that the people of Springfield Ohio are going to their council members and complaining about saying hey you guys are so concerned about keeping these uh migrants illegal legal migrants safe and making sure that they're taking care of who's going to take care of us this woman gave such a heart-wrenching testimony saying I have to leave you have forced me to leave my home because I don't feel safe and that's something that Eric swell I mean you want to talk about dramatic I agree he definitely needs some acting lessons but but if if they actually cared they wouldn't have to pretend to act neither him nor kamla Harris around these very serious issues that people are caring about I'm sorry Greg real quick I'm surprised we let it go so I'll bring it up before they do isn't it funny that the duck was white how do they let that slide there's plenty of black ducks that can be in pictures I know like six light-skinned ones that do it it's so true that was a that was a duck whistle coin that one tradar good job I just came up with that I know you're so smart so smart that's also the name of Eric small still there got to move on up next will help from Swift give Cam a [Applause] lift cat so it was like clockwork after she posted media goes crazy she said KLA fights for the causes and the rights that she believes in I don't know what those are but how do you feel about this I feel nothing I I just one of these things I'm all swept people are all swept up in that I just can't get to be a part of it was a great statement whoever wrote it it was like I this is what I believe I believe it do your research and you can vote for whoever you want to vote for but I think she was going to do this at some point but I think she had to do it now because of Britney momes and her hugging yes which is crazy the fact that Britney Mahomes liked a a trump post and then now like the whole world melted down I have never Googled Taylor Swift to my entire life there's no I've never spoken about her except if I have to right now for work I still unescapable in terms of the algorithm I have been following this Feud that their their fans have been having with each other over the hug and I exhausted by it so I can't imagine she felt clearly she had to do something say something now but we all kind of knew this was coming right you it's weird uh tyus besides this conversation yes swifties I've I don't even know where they are I use them to clean the floor in my kitchen yes nice you clean the floor and they're phenomenal they like the place up it's amazing it's like being in a concert I don't know how many extra votes does she get being just another celebrity which is funny because she's mainly liked by white women so shouldn't she hate them because she's anti-white all the time on MSNBC so that's got to be weird for her U but I guess when it's whenever it's on your side it's okay but again she gets one vote right yeah so okay uh John Smith in uh mandaville Louisiana he's voting for Trump haha tier yeah I don't think this it's right like someone here voting for Trump we're we're up 70 votes to one Taylor Smith's vote is shiny and pretty it's got sprinkles on it and says little cute song when you hold it close to the ear but it still counts for one just like everybody else so yay write a song about it what do you say tulsy are you impressed by this Brave decis decision a billionaire feminist lady who owns private jets coming out for a Liberal Liberal presidential candidate she's going to lose some friends uh yeah no not shocked at all uh this is them trying to turn politics and these elections around serious issues into entertainment again you look at all of that attention that came from a a big-time celebrity endorsement some of couple words that popped out to me from her statement was that she's supporting she has confidence in kamla Harris because she is steady-handed and a gifted leader so I'm going to use one ex one of many examples to debunk that thesis a serious issue there are over 320,000 migrant children that kamla Harris lost in this country many of whom are likely being trafficked and used and abused today if Taylor Swift is so caring and wanting a gifted leader KLA Harris is is not her person yeah you know they really like that one to go back to the debate M if if they did as well as they thought they did they wouldn't had to bring out the big hammer yeah because this once again this should have been her night that she showed everybody that she didn't like Trump but it wasn't good enough they had to say oh oh her debate was so good Taylor Swift's going to vote for her now which is again goes back to yeah six on one hand in the other lofas speaking of in one hand uh you're also a childless cat lady uh I call it a feline cardboard challenged child uh Taylor Swift but yes this is how you know Cala lost the debate they like they looked around and they're like NOP no we are go for launch have Taylor press send now if Taylor could yeah we wrote it up it's good to go obviously she speaks for the common person and she she obviously has great judge of people it's not like she hasn't written about 600 songs about choosing the wrong dude yes so so obviously she's a great judge of character and she and Taylor knows what America's going through she's like America you're hurting it'll be $1,000 to see me sing yes so it was and the funniest part is like the picture she posted it was like her and her C right so she didn't take that in Springfield she's like uh that would have been great if if if the if the the comment below was like dinner tonight gut cat we're safe if you want your cat to be safe vote with me tayor all right we got to move on coming up will Ferell is having fits over past skits if you'll be in the new New York area and like tickets to see Gutfeld go to foxnews.com Gutfeld and click five more [Applause] words will frell regrets being funny Tyrus he expressed regret for performing in drag as Janet Reno remember her on SNL saying it's something he wouldn't do now because it hits a false note uh is this normal to look back on your previous work and I guess Harvey Corman Richard prior's soul will come out and everybody who ever played a character in a movie or a TV show has to apologize this sucks when you when somebody that you admire and you're like this guy's legendary and the the woke just get him like you've made enough movies you got enough money where's your principles like yeah I did a lot of funny stuff so every time you played a dim wet dumb feminine Dad are you going to apologize for that role making Dads look bad is the voice of Homer Simpson GNA come forward and be like I'm sorry everybody that I played a dumb dad I mean this is it's it's sad all I'm going say is it's sad cuz will faroh is a he's a he's a funny guy no one ever looked at that and said oh it's so disparaging we used to be able to be Comedians and stuff listen if it wasn't going to give you a heart attack I would do a Comm press conference bring me a wig and some I'll do it because it'd be funny people would laugh I want you to do that but I'm just saying like I'm and then 20 years later I CU I my work's slowing down you know I really regret that time that Greg made me pleas like come on man I was totally against it you know lus you notice that it's only super successful comedians who can afford to look back and then throw their material under the bus exactly his his morality is directly tied to his bank account cuz I guaranteed if he checked that sucker and there like you only have $50 left he's like give me the ran re Janet Reno dress I'm I'm going back and and it's always like this whole uh hypothetical like oh if I had to go back again I I wouldn't do it all right I'm not really worried about uh will frell's time machine and if I was like can you go back and not do that crappy Sherlock Holmes movie and give us Step Brothers Two like we wanted it's the Catalina wine mixer Step Brothers one of the great movies alltime great unless you're a man in his 40s to living at home with Mom you have to go through that tragedy of being made fun of and I regret I regret making fun of them tulsy everybody could be offended by something exactly and I just you know you guys are comedians just just imagine like how miserable all three of you how miserable I'm a learned doctor that I know um I'm the I'm realizing now I'm the only one here who doesn't do stand-up comedy I sit down though when I do it I'm getting very old how miserable do you have to be to self-censor and to voluntarily put this straight jacket on yourself to then somehow be politically correct and think that people are still going to find you funny like you do this because you love doing it and now you're trying to do this because of what this virtue signaling I I just I don't get it I don't get it you can't I bet you have something about this in your new book well that's the thing is I either I don't regret anything because either it was good or it was content every dumb thing I've done I mean there's a lot of awesome stories in my book that make my book a very entertaining read Because I did things I should not have been doing yes or things that were right yes you would have a book if it was just stuff that you were supposed to do exactly if I who would read a book that was like I woke up and I made healthy responsible choices nobody wants to read that book no was like yes I you know and then I had breakfast lunch and dinner I had no alcohol to drink I only talk to men who were good for me I have absolutely no content so bad decisions are good decisions because of the content they provide you which by the way my book is really good if you didn't pre-order sorry yeah and all content is somehow related like you can't just it's like it's like Jenga you pull out the Janet Reno thing then something else is going to take its place and you're going to have to be offended by that oh my God I literally wrote in my acknowledgements thank you to everyone I dated in my 20s I don't know where I'd be without the content you provided me yes bad stories make great good content emotional D janga emotional janga that's the title of your next book what was uh what was Flip Wilson's character who was female Gerald Gerald Gerald Dean here come the judge yes that my dad is right now laughing somewhere I was the funniest human being according to him yeah Flip Wilson was amazing why did I bring him up I don't know just kill some time I guess all right y next why science say handsome guys get the biggest cash prize whoa that's a fired up clap that's a Tony Robin H should we be concerned Is wealth a guarantee if you look like me welcome back to should we be concerned tonight women give money to hot men interesting a study I go to you Loftus why I don't know oh he knows a study found that women are more financially generous towards men who have attractive faces and voices and they show social interest in them demonstrating the beauty premium and economic decision making you know when you're panhandling do you see an increase in profits do you see an increase in profits when you bathe I have yes yes should we be concerned by this you know Greg uh this is one of those studies that like we've peaked as a civiliz we have to stop with these it's ridiculous I I I think good-look people this is why people want to be in movies it's why they want to be tele in television good-looking people have it easier people will spontaneously just give money to goodlook people it just happens it happens it happens he's making it rain $1 bill that's right she's goodl looking for two sir yeah it's my you just shorted her a dollar okay listen that's all going to come back to me because being generous makes you attractive you know tulsy uh I think that the isn't it interesting that they don't do the study in Reverse men always give money to hot women just the way he just did it yes I'm sitting here I mean I've never done that before in my life I mean I don't see strip clubs with dudes dancing and women throwing money at them it's usually other men throwing it at men although I wouldn't know you're sharing way too much information I'm not sure if I should be offended that I just had a $1 bill thrown at me and lus feels good about himself for I do hey it's a rough economy right now yeah I like nomics too attractive yeah that's probably hurting strippers in a big way it's been horrible they've been on a downward slide do you uh do you think uh being attractive cuz you're very attractive gives you advantages that other people don't have what do you think I'm not even going to go there oh you're like you're used to Fielding like that it must be hard you do with this guy every day must be so hard to be beautiful look I can happily you know being an attractive guy I I have never gotten a woman uh giving me money no woman has ever given me money I call BS on this cat no man has ever given me it's like oh hey look you look nice here's some money seconds ago that's true that's $1 that's how I understand this this what's the whole point of this study you funded a lot of your past boyfriends yes yes yes they were poor and mean to me and I was like I love you were they were any of them attractive I thought they were but other people told me no I don't know how to tell if somebody's Hot or Not yeah because I I would think they were attractive but the market place I think said no Market Place smoking like a true libertarian I feel like they just really liked having access to my inunit laundry is that what you're calling it no my literal inunit laundry literally literally the inunit laundry people at home all right Tyrus last word listen uh I I've I've had a lot of checks and and 20s and hundreds thrown my way by women throughout my career and I always find there's only one answer a man can give keep your money that's what we're for we don't we don't do that and it's it's hard sometimes they want to buy me gifts cars you name it you know my no my silver foxes do well ladies you'd break you'd break a 20 or two for an evening with Tyrus correct thank you and with that we'll wrap all right don't go away we'll be right back out a time thanks that t love this stud love you America [Music]