FREEman Friday with Amy Ryan in Conversation with Andrew Polk

[Applause] hello all the faces I know and ones that I get to know later do one quick thing before we start just there's an open seat just move down this so po here not disturb us most of you know what what these evenings are about how many you don't mind P how many of you have never been to one of these events our studio a lot great uh this is one of the reason we do it get you involved in our community and uh to get to experience these great guests we have so say I little something so we get to the guests um why we do this our studio is solely for actors for the uh nurturing of actors support of actors strengthening of actors so we have acting classes of course to do that but it's also very important to our mission that we provide free events when you don't uh have the ability to take class because your schedule or money or other considerations these things are happening so continue to meet new people see friends and take advantage of the wisdom of the peers um that's why they're important that's why we call them Freeman Fridays with the [Laughter] clever little coincidence and look if you subscribe to our newsletter you'll get the noes for these we for week sometimes there seminars and different subjects sometimes there letters we had wrap recently producing very useful to you very passion this is a s of continuation of something we used to called actors allowed again another clever uh homophone alloud and allow uh so that actors get to talk and you can hear it so that's what this is about tonight with andw pul and Ryan um I'm not going to say too much you want to get to it but Andy is on our faculty phenomal teacher he's also a phenomenal actor and what do you call yourself a producer yeah well recovering producer project with play and um he was gracious enough to do this one I I off will be the interview I said why don't you you know so many Act somebody you want just hang out with and just talk and we'll uh EOP he said yeah s people and he mentioned am Ryan I said I would be perfect why because they're both uh dedicated careers in the theater in film on television and they do them both expertly and it's a great conversation because so many of you that's what you're doing or that's what you're aspiring to do would be really wonderful to hear from their perspective what that's like um I first saw you in we just met we sort of but I first saw you in Uncle van I want to go see this production on Broadway of Uncle van been in New York that long and I don't remember the production I sorry I said who is that I kind of you on the periphery of who you were as an actor but that's when I knew who you were been watching you ever since and it's no hyperbole to say you are definitely when people ask me who what actor should I watch to be Inspire and to learn and I mentioned it thank you that's very nice very short list so this a thrill to have you here uh so I'm going there and listen I'll be back at the end okay thank [Music] you so uh so yeah so we'll just like have a we're going to chat okay and uh we've been chatting for a long time very long time and uh and um and then we'll we'll do some Q&A towards towards the end but uh maybe I should start I should start by how we met how long we've been talking for you want okay yeah uh um 1986 19 we met in 1986 and uh I was doing uh the national tour of baloy Blues now for those who aren't that old there was a time when they toured plays yeah and like big tours anyway this was a big tour and um and Amy and so we Amy came in like 6 months in straight from um LaGuardia pretty much uh high school performing arts mhm you were 18 yes and um I remember the moment because we were we were in a bus on our way to the I DC or something to you know and and if you know this play booy Blues which is the play we were doing it's about a bunch of it's about a bunch of army recruits and we're all guys with crew cuts in this bus and in comes Amy Ryan 18 years old wearing go go boots sort of up to here they were to here they okay I remember up to here okay sorry but they had Fringe and they were white and all these guys with crew cut looking out the window and I remember her father dropping her off with a very worried expression on his face I just remember he was like yeah this is not such a good idea yeah and um and then she came on the bus and we became I don't know we've been friends ever since like you know I and so I that's how we began we did the tour for a long time yeah and do you remember when we got to well in our friendship you asked me cuz you had just you had graduated toughs and you went to right uh what's the fancy schol full scholar I went to London right and I remember you were very big brother to me and you said are you going to college I said I don't think I was enrolled in NYU but I was like I don't think so I think I want to just stick with this en in my and you said yeah I was enrolled in and but I didn't I put it off for a year and you said well then here's a college reading list and he gave me a book a list a list of books to read which was amazing and then you said have you uh have you ever seen a black and white film I said no other than like it's a wonderful life like one that's being released so you took me to se Down By Law yeah I remember that and then you said have you ever had goat cheese I said no what is that and we you bought a baguette and we ate goat cheese and we went to go see d by law in Philadelphia in Philly that's right and I thought at that moment I was like oh being the youngest that has has an advantage if you pay attention to those older more experienced talented we're so old I was 22 yeah yeah yeah yeah that I remember that it was very those were my you know those were big strong years for me meeting you and and then you like met my mom and adopted her and we just like we all we all we all were yeah so we go back we go back and then and then she moved into my apartment briefly as after the tour was over and she just cleaned up and uh I remember that it was great for me but then she had to move on so yeah that's how we started and I I I I think it's really in terms of process I want to bring it back because I was thinking about this on the way here so we know each other really well we're really good friends we we you know we I I followed her now to the neighborhood we live in Brooklyn and now my my kids go to the same school that her kid goes their daughter goes to and we you know I followed her and we're still really tight but in those year I just I'm just struck by I don't know if you've had this experience where you know someone really well and then you step outside that relationship and just see what they do uh you know like you what I'm trying to say is I'm like I'm like always Blown Away by her work you know it's like watching your sister you know it's like your sister and then you're like Jesus Christ Christ he's good you know and you I've had that experience many many times in uh over the years you know and uh and and uh the the last one was you know she was in doubt I don't know if you got to see how great she was in doubt on Broadway um but that was another thing I'm like you know like and I I had a couple experiences like that one was saved do you guys know this play by Edward Bond and and so I remember having this experience like here's someone I know really well and she's I always thought she was wonderful but then she does something that is outside your experience of her um and then the the the TV and film work I'm always you know you know like even you know the the thing there's so many things but Gone Baby Gone you're like wow you know that that that's Amy so I guess I I'd like to just put that in perspective we're friends and yet you get to see someone's work and grow and be extraordinary outside your relationship I thought that was really cool um what is and oh and I may maybe never told you this but maybe we shouldn't talk about Amy has a superpow you have a superpower I do yeah you're witnessing the superpower like cuz she's 's a delightful person that's her superpower and it's not fake it's real she's really like a delightful person and I feel like I think I think that on top of everything I've just said about how great you are I think I think people just want to hang out with you you know what I mean well I think I think it I think it work that way too like things I choose like who do I want to spend time with and you know um I don't I don't really believe you have to make great art through chaos and or knocking other people down I I really believe in lifting those around you and I think especially like starting out the actresses that I was friends with auditioning for I locked into a really supportive group who was like oh by the way I just went on this audition you should go on you'd be right for it too like you're telling me about it really you know like and so that was the norm like I L you know and it was luck it was you know it's um but and I think on a set or in a play I don't see I don't see how now look there have been crazy people we've known who like they're brilliant you're like oh cuz they're mad and they're they're chaotic and they make great art and they suffer but I'm like h i I'd rather go home to see friends and family and the dog and have that healthy life and then live all the darkness and the chaos through a character I don't want it I don't want it that's I love that I can walk in somebody else's shoes and then not own it and that I feel like is given freedom to go very far and deep into something and not be afraid that I can't get out of it cuz it's not mine that's so healthy sometimes it is stealing that that's no that's great uh how are you like on set I've always wanted to know like I I'm like I'm I don't know I'm obsessed with this idea of how different actors are on set cuz I've seen and been certain different ways I've seen actors just seem to want different ways of being on set all day you know I've seen the people who are like hey man what's going on you know like those people who seem to be on all the time and like works for them it's tiring it's a long day exting you're there at 5: in the morning you're going home at p.m. yeah I've seen the guys they're like shut down completely mhm until they need to be focused yeah what is your how do you how are you what do you like have a way to be I don't have one strict way cuz it won't fit in job to job all right and I'm not fancy enough that they'll let me fit it in that job like I can't go build the house for 4 months months before I do The Crucible you know what I mean like it' be nice maybe learn carpentry and but like who has that luxury I usually get thrown in last minute replacement or or uh or you know not a replacement but it's starting in 2 weeks like there's not much prep time right so and I think I think having started in theater and been what's been ingrained to me is the play is the thing that that carries on to sets right even if it's you know an episode of Law and Order like your play is your thing I'm here to play this part for you so the pieces add up right like right I don't want it to be about me in that sense I don't want to take credit of it pooms oh I didn't write I didn't write it I did my B but um so so I I would say like and look this question is very different if you were asking the 22-year-old me on a set versus the 56y old me now on a set you know but I I will say I've always followed the lead of the director like how do you you know now sometimes they'll say like oh how do you like to work I was like fast do do you actually ask him that no I I get asked that they like like that's I feel like that's a common question like how do you like to work and I said well I come from theater so I I come prepared I know my lines right I'm happy if you only give me two takes if you want to do more that's great but I don't think I would do well in one of the like directors who do like 34 takes I get bored I really would yeah but um becomes nonsense after a while but but if that's the way they work then and if I signed up for it that's what I'm doing you like or or if they say you're doing it in one take like okay that's the way you want to work we're going to do it that's really interesting like I remember I had this recent experience where the number one person on the call sheet was um he asked to he had like a long monologue and he asked to do it he's like he's like I'm going to do it 50% they're like okay and he does it 50% I'm not going to do it 75% I you know and and he did now I'm going to do it 100% And he did it 100% and now I'm going to thr throw it away and of course that was the one yeah that they that was used and I thought I would love to be able to have the time and space to work like that but I know I'm not number one on the call sheet I and I would be afraid you know what I mean to to ask for that kind of thing you know what I mean like he clearly could do whatever the hell he wanted he can do it yeah that's the way he works it works great for him and it got him great work yeah I don't know I be I'm too shy for that you're too shy for that yeah yeah and I think like I work more I mean I I I I'll work things out obviously I'll work think of character and backstory and do you ask for other takes ever or once in a while I will yeah if something's flubbed or it's just like I like if it I feel like the body doesn't lie and and not like the head the head will always say like oh why didn't I do it better you know when it's a good oh it wasn't right yeah um but rarely rarely I'm like are you happy everybody sound happy you know camera happy then happy to move on but um but uh I think working this this number one on the call sheet you're talking about like work working out your process out loud to me I would be too shy like I would maybe do that like I have four takes okay this one I'm going to do 100% this one I'm going to do right he was just like but to to declare it and then what if you fail at it everyone's like that's 100% you know like like that's a lot of pressure isn't it like he yeah I would pretend like it just came out of nowhere like it's brilliant just keeps switching it up wow yeah oh great keep it to yourself and then people like Jesus Christ look go I mean that's great I I um so I'm Str what Scott mentioned which is like going back and forth between theater and film and TV and all the great stuff you do and I I just did I just played fider on the roof I did fider on the roof and um my someone in my class asked me did you learn anything from doing that kind of work that would help in this on camera class and I went no and and I'm like oh that's probably not right no but I mean so my I so I'm curious because you go back and forth so seamlessly do you feel like one informs the other or I mean how do you see it like more the more and more I do it me personally I feel like they're super separate like distinct art forms it feels different but I don't think that differ should scare people like I haven't done one and how am I going to do the other cuz I think being being honest is being honest is being honest and if you're not loud enough or you can't be seen someone will tell you right you know adjust yourself or adjust the mic or whatever feel like it's like but but I mean I so you mentioned out I hadn't been on stage for 7 years and it was you know it was a very stressful uh week but but um well if you guys don't know what she was asked to come in and replace someone and had a week a week to get up on Broadway in the lead rooll in doubt so but I I was I was what you know I thought I don't have my voice I haven't done I didn't do a play for seven years so it is a muscle you you use it or lose it and um you know when I'm sitting around not working and I have nothing but time like oh I should read an article out loud every day that I remember that in the back of my head like in school like they said to do that to like work on your voice and you don't do that like all these things you could you know you could keep in shape because if that call comes you're ready to go like Olivia never have done that really but I I was nervous this time around and you know like oh I might not be able to do this but well you know but fear is a great motivator well did it feel like was it were you attracted to the challenge of it like that's a challenge I mean not just getting up on stage but like putting it together in a week I didn't have much time to think about it which is helpful because I think if you had any person had more time they' be like that's insane possibly do that I think I I don't know like I I knew it was a great part I knew it was a great play I knew chances are I wouldn't really be asked to do this part in that like the the economics of Broadway you know it's you know you know I'm not that big a name to sell tickets so I'm like there was something also I'm like you all I'll show you this is what happens when you you know like so I I just thought like you I'll show you your name you know the there are actors who stay in New York and work take it seriously and go do film and TV but come back to New York like us where we stay we live here rather we never we never really left but um I just I kind of felt like this again the fear of of failing not doing it like I knew I had to push through to something other and I didn't know what it was and but also like I just felt like I wanted to stand up for New York actors like we got this you know right we'll do it they're counting on us and we'll show them that we can do this and save the theater they said we save them millions of dollars that they didn't close you know but um but right yeah right and the rest was I don't know what it was it just some luck got me through well there was a muscle in or something that that you you have you know a theater muscle I think or I I think that I think yeah I think there's a little bit like after so many years there is a little bit of riding a bike you know like you know you do it is familiar it's like oh the only thing that was weird is now everything's miked and that was very foreign to me and I didn't like it but yet with a weak voice I was happy to have it but it was I was strange Broadway theat you have do you have a body mic or floor mics body mic really like packs and up through why is that though I I don't know I asked and they said that and I said is it because the subscriber base is older they said no no but I I didn't mean that as like a as a mean thing but like no it's just people that that I don't know if I even believe this like sound quality has gotten so much better in our own home TVs and uh movies and such that we hear things differently right I don't know it's it's they did a good job because they and but then also the ambulance would go by down 43rd Street and then suddenly you hear your mic level go up so like they were the guy was on the mixing board the whole time so lines you didn't lose it was that was that was pretty cool oh my uh yeah oh but I just thought I don't know why this just popped into my head remember the Hot Dog Hitman yes I do of course we did a play at the West Bank theater downstairs with the beakman whatever is that what it is beachmen uh which is now closing sadly um um Joe de patro who went on to fame and fortune and wrote Memphis and won Tony Awards wrote this sketch about Giuliani and I don't know what about a an assassin Who Sold hot dogs and we we were we were we somehow got C into doing it and singing and dancing yeah yeah so we go back yeah we go back um so like what like because I know am Amy I know that you uh you know you don't take everything and and you are you have told me you know like i' I'd rather be with family then go up to Canada and do something that's not you know exciting to me so I'm like makes me think about like what is what would be exciting to you like do you look for a challenge in your work or do you look for like you know you know a lot of money or both or you know like what is it that drives you for that you know for that next um well when I was younger when I when I first started out I remember thinking out loud and saying to myself oh I just want to work I don't care what it is right and by luck I had like a really great first job that like kind of set the tone and the flavor of what it could be and then and then I did a bunch of regional theater which was fun and worked with great playwrights but I started thinking like oh the only Power an actor has starting out is saying no so my agents got used to sending me out on the same type of role or just regional theater for example and so and I didn't have a job and I was still living at home and I just said no oh no you know like I can't believe say no to that audition I can't believe and I didn't work for like 6 months or more and and I just said you know I want to try to do an Off Broadway play I want to be in New York I want people to see me cuz I think that's how you get another job hold on but like [Laughter] so I think it's like it's so easy to all of us all of us even the the biggest star in the world everybody gets boxed into something yeah cuz it's a creative field but it's not that creative when you can quick get the guy who does it great yeah so no one's really going to think about us any of us outside the box unless we tell them we're different and that's by saying no to the same the same the same so I that was kind of like a thread throughout and then the stakes change you know so but when I was young and I could afford to still live at home I could say no right I wasn't really paying full rent then I I slept on your futon couch so I could you know I remember I was doing an Off Broadway play you know near your house and I'd want to take the train all the way back to Queen so you let me stay with you like so but so then I started doing Off Broadway then I was like well I want to do now I want to do TV you know so it it's you know there's moments of feast or famine and learning how to live with very little money and sometimes really good money and and and save your money if you make it save it borrow your friend's clothes like I did like don't like don't buy a fancy apartment unless your Series has gone into like the fourth year that's like those were the rules like save your money so you can make artistic choices so you can do hot dog Hitman if that's your want you know and um and then now you know then the rule you know it changed again for me when I had family and I was like well getting up at 5:00 a.m. in Utah when my family's back home do I want to you know so okay well how short is the schedule how you know right so now it's really dictated by family and and again trying not to repeat myself ah and sometimes I'll repeat myself because it's a really good job in the moment or it's a good paycheck and I it's my health insurance or you know but um but what would excite me now is someone saying you've never done this yeah you know and I don't know you know I mean I have a a list of things but I you know the mo and then so you want to be challenged yeah oh yeah yeah yeah I don't want to do the same no do you no no although I've played so many doctors on television I think I could treat you that's actually a good you know skill to have I know I mean I could just do drugs and leave it's your child or something like Clark uh do you remember Clark Middleton you just maybe think of something that you remember him no I mean yes of course he's an actor who passed away recently but he had a you do you guys know this guy is wonderful he's been a lot of movies look him up and anyway he he had a uh what was it a juvenile arthritis or one of those things he was he wasn't well but he was told early on by Gerald Geraldine Fitzgerald something that you said just made me think of this he said imagine she said just imagine you're walking down a Street full of shops right and she said she said don't go in the shops don't even look at the shops just keep going down the street that always stuck with me you know what I mean like as a way to especially maybe when you're starting out this is like keeping your focus you're not getting distracted by those things maybe you can't have at the moment like which makes me uh Wonder like other than all the things I'm sure I've said to you do you have any did anybody say like anything like like good have you gotten brilliant advice from someone that stuck with you and like what well like like you said you said like learn how to say no and I remember Bill ball at act he gave he used to run act it's like a legendary figure when I was a kid and he gave a speech and his speech was just say yes yeah which is powerful yeah you know it was powerful to me I was 16 years old he was like whatever the it is you know you don't phos huh bill was one teachers yeah it's called posit yeah a whole philosophy whole philosophy and really landed with me and I I translated it to mean you know opportunities even if you don't know what they are you you should ER towards the unknown rather than saying no because that's you do know the result of that but that's maybe an early career that's goodh that's I think that's that's like for career and life right right have you ever gotten anything like you kind of similar like uh I Chris Bower you know the actor Chris bow he just said to me one day he said get out of your own way uh which was simple and you know what what do you mean what what are you talking about what do you mean I get in my way but okay yeah like just own who you are what you want to do what you're good at what you're not good at just right just get rid of all the other noise and just get out of your way um yeah you have such a range as it's just like it's amazing to me and then like I remember I remember you had done so many different things and then you did Gone Baby Gone and I'm like oh yeah so the girl from Queens showed up you know what I mean like it's hot in here um yeah thanks I think um I mean uh again going back like writing writing is the thing I feel like actors are only as good as the material they're given and that was an expertly written character like one I I feel like I knew when I read it I was like I'll never see this again it was just so good and so rich and nuanced and complicated and uh and familiar you know and um and fun like when you have a charact I feel like when you have a character who has no rules then there are no rules like you can do anything and it's truthful in the moment you know you don't have to watch your p's and q's and right you know it's there's you don't conform to any set idea so there's so much Freedom when there's a character like that right you know I mean I that's so cool but uh that was a joy yeah no that um Amy went to uh you went to uh PS 173 in Queens and I did a movie in the script it said that I was a teacher at PS 173 and I called Amy and I'm like okay this is there's a character I'm playing named Mr turl tab it says PS1 73 she's like that was my teacher I'll and then she sent me a picture of her in fifth grade with Mr turl tab it's a turtle toab who looked like who looked like he was going to have a heart and then it and he did and then it turns out he did he looked just like God damn it get me through this yeah that was that was a yeah those were those were overcrowded classrooms in New York City School System yeah 36 to 42 kids it was it was uh say it was like I I everything I needed to know about that guy I got from that so crazy I told everyone that story anyway um yeah so I don't know May we could probably open it up to Sure questions people have um yeah hi hello hi um so something we talk a lot about in class with Scott is when we're working on a character like how close you feel to the character um I'm curious in terms of characters you had a chance to work on and become which one felt the closest to you and the most accessible and which one felt the furthest and the most reach for you to get to um I always get a kick out of every once in a while just mentally in my head I I I take a like the photograph version of any character I've played or if a character I'm about to play I put them in that room I put them all in the room together and that makes me laugh like that that they you know that they would know each other um the so embarrassing I I remember when I did the office it was um my a high school friend called me and he's like oh you're finally playing yourself true nice so uh but Holly's like the best that's good thingk okay thanks um yeah I don't mind laughing at myself I I grew up making fun of my family and my family make fun of us it was a way of survival it was a way of breaking the ice and um so I I knew I I know goofiness well I feel like and um the the biggest reach um I feel like there's a I feel like there's a lot and I'm trying to think what I mean there have been challenges along the way in roles um I feel like I'm I'm blanking but that's not you know sometimes the biggest challenges are the ones that just aren't fully fleshed out and you have to fill it in and it's you usually they're the wifey poo Parts which I try not to do anymore and it's like and then what happened and how are you today and that you're like this can't be what am I doing this is terrible this is so boring or you know those feel the biggest reach because I start to I start to wander you know I get bored in those um so you know if I if I I don't know if I played the Queen of England obviously that would be the biggest reach or something you know like but it's not I don't have that I don't feel like I have that character I feel like all characters I've played something there was some kind of hook in something that made me start daydreaming about them um or or like like with doubt I was like because also I had no time I was like I know who this is in my like my family I'm going to just take what I know and go um did that answer your question okay thank you yeah TR two kind of questions one kind of of that I'm wondering if there's just any areas of the way you experience the work that you feel like are just uniquely challenging for you regardless of material somewhere you feel like you tend to get stuck or something uh and then also specifically with the office there major sort of I don't know big mind-blowing takeaways about how to approach comy and how to approach that specific kind of um well to answer in Reverse like I I I went out to LA years ago and ended up on a four camera sitcom where every third line was the joke punch line joke and that did my head in I went I went right back to Williamstown theater Festival did an Arthur Miller play I was like okay I can't do this it was so much pressure to be funny like in like like like a gymnast Landing a perfect score of a laugh that not there's no joke really like I never understood that and I had friends who were really good at it and they would try to say like no put your voice up your voice does this I was like what are you talking about and then I had a neighbor who's from Ireland and she came home one year and she said here's there's this great show that's on in London you know whatever over there it's called the office and she had the the pal version tapes whatever it was and I remember seeing that going oh that's the kind of Comedy I can do because it's through tragedy it's through like their real life situations are funny and I remember okay like I again like anything it's just playing truth playing the truth of a situation and then it's humor comes from that um so I uh just recog and in that sense like go like what was the reach the reach is doing a four camera sitcom they're foreign to me I don't get the Rhythm I I I love you know there are so so many shows I mean this is one with like the studio audience like that old format which I don't think they make those shows anymore but like that was uh just strange world and the ones who could do it did it well and hats off to them but I couldn't figure that out and um uh I'm sorry will you tell me you you had a your first question I answered it in reverse what yeah first question was sort of whether there's anything particular in your process where you feel like you get stuck whether it's I don't know I I don't know I guess you have something comes to mind I'm not sure how else [Music] yeah I think you know some I think getting stuck happens all the time in every job and then and then it's like what can you go back on that you learned in class or you learned in theater school that you know how to get yourself out of Cu you're always going to be stuck if you're shooting a scene out on the sidewalk and people are filming like this like that's good going to make you get stuck like how do you block them out or you forget your lines like you're getting older you're like I don't know this oh my God I don't know this you get stuck and then like fear Panic sets in and so like how like I I feel like again any like going back to taking care of your we were talking about this on the train right in like taking care of yourself physically I feel like I only really do that well when I'm working like I'll cut out sugar I'll cut out caffeine I'll cut out alcohol and I and I found I don't get sick I don't get sick especially doing theater um when you cut out all that crap and um so okay oh I I got stuck once I here's a story came to mind I in Gone Baby Gone there's a scene at the very end when I'm going out on a date the end of the movie and there was a little bit of business like talking to Casey Affleck and I'm putting on earrings then I have to go over here to the mirror and get the purse or something and then go back here and she's just she's gabbing away gabbing away and I I said to Ben Affleck I said uh I said can we just shoot this in one because it feels like a play to me and I have the props and I'm not good handling things so I need to do it in one run he said I don't think you should I said no let me do it I think I could do it and I and he was right I was wrong and it was and it was Friday at the end of a long week and it's like 1:00 a.m. 2: a.m. crew wants to go home and I keep tanking it I keep I can't do it in one and I'm going up on lines here and there and he came over to me and he said this isn't theater this is film and I get to take care of you in the edit room so here's what we're going to do you're going to walk over here you're going to pick up the earrings do it three times in a row and say those lines he goes you good good now we're going to move on and you're going to walk over here four times and get the bag go over there get the bag get the bag get the bag he goes now you're going to go here he goes and now we have an editor who's a pro and they are going to make it in one he said and you that's where he said you don't have to be the good girl you don't have to do you have to you have to let other experts here do their job that was that was a really good lesson that's great story that's awesome yeah back there um when you're struggling to find the truth of a character so this is building a little bit on on what you've already talked about you talked about knowingly in your body when you're there or not so are there things that you do that help you know there there's the truth of that person I have a truth that I can begin to craft or build on or um this is so so far from me however I this is something that does feel rooted or grounded so that's all I've got I think sometimes like what comes to mind when you say that I think I'm putting myself in a theater rehearsal space and I feel like so much comes from the fellow actor like if you can get them to move in terms of energy or their reaction or something they're doing and I don't mean just to provoke them into but it something drops in together and then I feel like okay we're in the same world or we're we're listening then it then it feel like again it's all I feel like it's all in you know it's not tangible but it's you both you when when there's receipt that you both feel it I think I think then I have a little more confidence I I feel like I Rely heavily on scene partners and um for that that's awesome yeah I'm just very curious about logistically schedule wise what was your week like before you went on and out oh my gosh how you manage your time I called her and said can I run lines with you and I didn't I didn't come through I'm sorry you I I was I was skiing with Jonathan but but I knew she could she was like yes I would love it um I got I I Blew Up The Arrow bed in the back bedroom and uh set the alarm at 5:00 a.m. every morning and like I cut out coffee but I was like but I could have tea right so I sit there with a cup of tea and when the script just perish I read it twice through and then I would do that trick you know going down going down going down going down going down and then uh I got to the theater at noon worked with the first three days worked with under studies cuz the other actors were performing like mat uh ran lines with whoever was around and then um left at 4: cuz then the actors were performing with the understudy that night and then I went home and did the same thing and repeat for a week and um but you know I had by the way like it was still the character sits a lot they like I don't think I could have done if it was like a null coward Breezy like you're going here and there there's lots of props but this character stayed still a lot she was behind the desk um it was 90 minutes long like I tried to reduce the play as much as possible like okay this this scene's only six pages and this one's 15 and this one's but I had the scripts on the desk for the first four shows and would turn the page when the other actor was speaking and the audience knew so there was Goodwill and I also had two monitors uh for the first couple of weeks up hanging on the balconies but it became like I realized learning lines for that became more physical than an other process because and I had to do it every show I couldn't get rid of it like if I didn't pick up the pen on that word the lines were out of my head or or if I didn't even then later with the monitors like flick my to check am I right you know I would get off so it was it was all very physical for learn for memorization which I never had to do before but I actually think it is a faster way to learn is to make it physical so I might do that in the future but it was uh but you know what it's also such an expertly written play it made it easier cuz anything I I couldn't ad Li that language it it was clunky it it didn't it was bad so you I had to say John Patrick shanley's words and that was a good rule hard rule to to stay in that's awesome yeah you said that you have a list of roles that uh you have yet to play and so I'm curious at this point in your career what are goals that you haven't played yet that exciting um well sometimes I just like make a blanket of I I I like flipping between comedy and drama and um and I I I I feel like and one always is a salv to the other you know I get I want to do I want to do comedy after I've done a drama and vice versa and um you know I used to joke I was like oh I want to wear a COR it and I like I don't it's so uncomfortable I didn't know I thinkle I had a course said it's very uncomfortable but but um I I I don't know I think it's you know sometimes I sometimes I get caught up as like or my daughter even said like are you the mom in this again I was like yeah I guess I am but you know what then I'm like hold on a second you could be a mom and you can be the president of the United States or you can be you know a mom and you can also be a doctor and you could be you know so so again it's not about not playing Moms it's about just playing like threedimensional or or or just or being the protagonist sometimes I just like I'd like to be the protagonist in in the story and what is that like to carry that weight or burden um or Joy through a project um I I've done it a few times and it's I I like it you know so um I don't know I I don't have any classic plays in mind that I'm dying to play you were the protagonist in doubt I think yeah yeah totally but I want to I I want to work with new writers so it's not like I want to play you know Lady M or you know I I just I uh I'm eager for something new I'm I'm curious if uh in a famine part of your career at any point if there was like a moment that you remember that sort of how what got you through to the other side of it uh I remember this is so like this is really dates myself I remember um I I was good at uh taking friends head shot like when was before digital and like developed film and friends who didn't have money I was like I'll take your head shot you know so I took like three or four friends and um I remember someone saying like oh you should do this you're so good at I was like yeah I should do I should do this and then I mentioned to another friend of mine may he rest in peace this comedian Jerry red Wilson I said I think I'm going to also like study photography to um you know just in case he's said what the are you doing why the would you do that like he got so mad at me he got so mad at me he's like that is the dumbest idea and it's not that it's a bad idea like obviously like we do what we can to pay the bills and whatnot but I was so grateful in that moment because really it's not that I loved photography I wanted I was happy to help my friends and help them save money but he reminded me just in that moment like his reaction like just don't lose don't lose hope don't lose Faith you've come so far you know and there there again there are Feasts famines and you know uh and look there are feasts and famines like the last like sometimes people like oh you're so busy you have so much coming out I like I did those a year and a half ago like I I have a movie coming out September I chot it a year ago the one with yeah you know it's like but it's like I so it's there's a I think keep in mind like the compare and despair it feels like everybody else is doing something and you're not and it and all for all levels all levels like we feel like oh I should be doing more we should be you know but like stay your own course stay like like you don't worry about what other people are doing like your your track is just fine like slow and steady wins the race you know did you see that piece of Richard K this morning in the New York Times there's a really beautiful profile and the last line I loved he said like he he just said I I I just work he says I just work all the time he said but my career is like a river some parts of the river are wider some are more narrow but it leads to an ocean and I just thought that was like at least to an ocean but like the working like for me I've never really wanted to be celebrity I never wanted to be a star I just wanted to right be a working actor and that is that like it's going to you're it's going to e and flow and you know as long as you can keep your head above water and again like save your money and and um yeah right and then back to the crisp hour thing of get out of your own way so like you know for me it was thinking I'll divert over here and put my attention and energy into taking head shots and that was getting in my own way really you know he's like you don't do that he's like stay this way so it's awesome I think we have time for like a couple more than uh yes um hey it's a slightly more personal question so just to the extent that you're willing to share um your experience of starting a family as an actor and um I guess maybe like where you were at in your career when you did that and how is the like reentry um I I I I I was already I had a child I was I 200 2009 it was the year after the Oscar so nomination so it was a bit of luxury that I didn't have to get a script the night before prepare an audition with a newborn I was I was now in a very kind of luxurious position of I could just be offered certain projects so um so that that was a big ease for me as a new mother you know um and um and when she was little she would come with me you know and now that she's older and in school I I try to stay local as much as possible cu no set is more interesting than school you know and um so but there's there was support and my lovely husband my mother inlaw who here so um you know uh but so yeah I had I had a good support around me you know it's doable but it's you know yeah so just get an Oscar nomination yeah the lesson there yeah I'm sorry talking earlier about how if someone asked you at 22 versus 42 like how you either protect or share your energy on set like just how you carry yourself will you expand on that on like how it was different and if you regretted the way or wish you still carried yourself in a way that you did or I think the very first time I stepped on a set I I it was was an episode of some TV show I didn't know a thing about a thing of film or TV other than I watched it and I liked it and was kind of I was star eyed about it maybe me or maybe I can pull my generation into it we didn't ask questions cuz don't ask a dumb question and I and I love that I feel like nowadays that's out the window like there there are no dumb questions and it's okay to be a beginner and it's okay not to know and so I tried luckily my agent at the time had another client in the show and he told her she's never done this before and this older woman she said that's your mark don't overlap sound don't you know she got me through this episode but you know I wish my 22-year-old self said excuse me what do I do you know I just got out of school where's what what is what's that thing on the floor or what why what do I have to do you know I feel like and and to this day too like you know I'm I just feel more emboldened yeah to ask questions like do you know am I in the way where do I stand you know but in the beginning I was so afraid to misstep because oh my God maybe they'll fire me maybe they'll think I'm inexperienced and like okay no they're they're hiring the actor not the technician you know that stuff you learn you can only learn when you do it or if you have a you know a class that has like amazing equipment and they walk you through it but um but really you learn by being you know on the spot cool and watching and and and yeah and or you know confiding into other actors that you're with and again just getting gleaning anything you can off them whether even it's theater or you know um film TV or and if it's not you if you're on a set and if it's not your scene but maybe sit on set somewhere quietly and watch something you could ask to do you can do that if you're part of the cast yeah yeah I don't have to just wait in that room down the no you you you you make friends with the production assistants and you say is there a spot I can stand that's out of the way or can I watch a monitor and and if you're in the way they'll they'll tell you you know but you're part of the company I remember there like like you know they they want you to be there you know they they chose you right they didn't make it they're not dumb right so you're part you're part of that like there are no small parts you know um or even if yeah anyone tell you about ask you what uh to do a Clean Plate before I don't know what that is you need to do that I still don't know what that is that happened to me recently and I I you made me think of like I I was embarrassed to ask but I did yeah I'm glad I did but it's a Clean Plate is it's um they they they they would say all principles leave we're going to shoot the scene again with a Clean Plate and I for 3 days I went like okay we'd leave all the extras would stay and they'd shoot the scene again they kept saying clean play clean play and I finally asked so that's what you made me think of and it turns out what it is is they can uh recreate the camera move movements precisely what it what it was during when you were there and if they want to replace you oh this is AI oh this is not well it's it is possibly AI it's something that exists already it's Marvel right and they they can literally shoot you in Australia somebody doing the same scene and drop you right in so I'm glad I asked you know no but I mean you but to your point you know like so good yes you should ask that's really good yeah I didn't know what a banana was yeah um and then we probably should yeah yeah I have a question about um when you were speaking earlier about you know sometimes you go into a job and they'll say we'll just do two takes or like one take how do you Center yourself and not be very anxious or like feel a lot of pressure when they're like we're doing one TI here like just the one take that's a good question um I think I think it's really knowing your lines MH because so so many actors use those first two takes to run lines and um I worked with two directors early on who were famous for doing one and two takes um and one one one was Sydney LT who treated everything like theater so you rehearsed like a play first which was magical and he would rehearse in order so you could you when you shot out of order you knew at least the arc emotionally what made sense cuz you felt it once like a play It's amazing then you can jump back in and peace meal it so he he said to all the actors he like it's he said I move fast it's imperative you come with your lines learned and he said I won't give you more than two takes he said because none of us are in are what did he say go No actor is that interesting that we shouldn't be home with our family that's really interesting if you get it right and and it and he said it with love like it wasn't like the fear of you know God like hand going down on you but it made um so it really is just the preparation just the preparation now I've also been on sets where the script wasn't there but we were and pages are being delivered and you're like okay so you know in that case obviously there' be more takes maybe you know some some shows like to just shoot the hell out of things too right yeah yeah um but uh you know if simple time physical thing relax your toes and the minute you like if you just check in with your body and your toes are like this and if you just open them everything starts to drop and then you can start to breathe but if you're this then your breathing's here and you're then you're like what am I doing I'm going to mess this up they're going to fire me you know and then like the minute like you have something like a good that's and even if it's just a silly mon your head like relax your toes relax your toes you know um and then but I I also I think I kind of enjoy that like Thrill Ride of like you've got two you know like the Cyclone you're going to ride the Cyclone once that's awesome no need to ride it twice but yeah yeah I think we should probably yeah that's awesome than