the gag that gagged me is like it's one thing that's Lindsay Lohan it's another thing that's Jamie Lee Cur it's another thing that on the set of a movie you see how I do my makeup for work very demure very mindful I don't come to work with a green cut crease I don't look like a clown when I go to work I don't do too much I'm very mindful while I'm at work see how I look very presentable the way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job be mindful of why they ired you here's your reality check Diva what's the name you'd like me to make it out to it's definitely been very overwhelming nothing really prepares you for like something like this and I feel like every day was like a new version of it had like like started manifesting like one day it was just like the videos going viral then it was like them going to Instagram then it was like celebrities using it and it was very overwhelming I've never had an experience where something that I've done like online like on my phone is now in like real life like I'm in the airport and I'm hearing people like say de Mir they're not even talking to me like I'm people are coming up to me like taking pictures and like I took my last flight back when I was coming back to Chicago there's like a group of young girls we're all taking pictures and like there's older people which I never really expected because I just feel like the way social media moves you kind of see things hit in waves and I feel like for example like my mom's um you know age group are like demographic I feel like they are always kind of like the last ones to the trend and she's like very like she's like her yeah my friends are saying very deir and I was like oh yeah that's my daughter and I'm like Diva like she's at the medical offices oh my God people are like H I'm over this like I'm over this trend and I mean like I just think that that's natural with anything that like comes super like viral or like that gets like a lot of attention or exposure and I think also too like when we think of like big viral moments I think that a lot of us think back to like um like the 2010s where like someone would go on like a talk show like it would be everywhere like it's on news outlets it's like on the radio and I feel like we haven't had something like that in a really long time when people are like well I'm over it like again I really do almost understand where they're coming from but I think that like this trend has only been positive for the most part like yeah you're always going to have people that are negative about anything that just comes with anything but I just feel like I see so many people like together over it and like really like you know like loving what's going on and also like everything that is going on like not to say it's going to a good cause but like it's furthering like my transition like it's only like benefiting like me and my family it's able to change me and my family's life and it's able for us to like for the first time ever be able to like have security and to like you know like make better moves and like heal some of the trauma that came with like growing up poor you know and I just think that if you keep that in mind like what really do you have to say that's negative keep it in your keep it mindful let's be mindful of how this works I've wanted these surgeries for so long but they've always felt so inaccessible to me that I didn't realize that I was going to have to like come to the fact that like these are my last two months like with this face with how I look um these are the last few months where like my older brother's going to have to work two jobs to like you know like provide for my niece and nephew this is going to be the last time that like you know my mom is going to have to like over stress herself out and like worry about like you know where my grandma's medication is going to come from and how she's going to get back and forth to like her you know doctor's appointments um you know for the first time we're going to be able to like do like family activities and vacations and it just feels like it's so weird how like everything that's happening feels so Grand but it's providing things to us that like seem so basic to other people that we've just never had access to you know we were a Puerto Rican Family growing up in Humble Park and we were always you know just trying to make ends meet and seeing just like how this is like manifesting and how it's turning into something that I never thought it was I just feel like is changing my life completely and it's in a way that like I just feel like is in the most wild like craziest way ever like it is so wild to me but it's also just like I don't know like I really just like can't believe it like I can't believe like like I'm finally going to like be able to do this like with my transition and I'm finally going to be able to like find peace in the body that like I existed I feel like there's a few of them but one of them that I really really want to mention especially because like I was a huge like Freaky Friday meet girls like Lindsay Lohan fan growing up straight hair very demure wearing a seat belt very mindful the gu gag that gaged me it's like it's one thing that's Lindsay Lohan it's another thing that's Jamie Lee Cur it's another thing that's on the set of a movie that like literally shaped me like I was that rocker girl in high school like I was always going to band stuff and I remember like idolizing Lindsay Lohan and be like well I'm a teenager that's how I'm gonna look and I'm gonna do the streaks and I'm gonna be like rebellious and I remember just watching that movie over and over and over again and to think that the person who started this movie that I adored with you know another actress that I absolutely looked up to and adored and their odd set it just like really really felt like a very like full circle moment and like it just felt like I don't know like Lindsay load might know a Crum of who I am that's crazy the one that like really really really gagged me is like JLo's team like reaching out to me growing up a Puerto Rican Family like we always like looked up to Jayla like she was our Superstar like growing up I remember thinking she was so beautiful and gorgeous and like her having like such a positive moment with the Demir Trend and people really like embracing her and just being like you know what that is our Jenny From the Black that is that orange dream I feel like really was what surprised me because like I'm just happy to like see someone that like I've looked up to as a kid just like have like a positive moment just to like take a break and like breathe I'm 100% again aware that I know that these viral moments don't last forever and one of the things that like I really don't want to turn into is like in the next three months being like Oh no guys it's OB scared like trying to like another word happen when it's like I think that what people really want from this journey is the journey like deir was you know the the Monopoly start one you know what I mean and then you know having so many people excited for my transition that's kind of what I want my next viral moment to be is documenting what happens after someone has viral moment what happens when you start running into these brand deals what does it really look like for you to come from working at a grocery store and scraping by to see a success you never thought was possible because how many how often do we see something like this so I was like growing up obsessed with reality TV and I don't know if my parents want me to say this I'm gonna say whatever so there was a show when I was a teenager called like World strictest parents or whatever and I started applying for this show but when you apply you have to provide like examples tell stories and there was a lot of things on this application that my parents just did not know about and they had to review and sign this application when I tell you the cuss out that I received over basically writing down all my darkest secrets on a piece of paper and I took that yelling cuz I said we're going to Hollywood like let's go no but I really was just like listen I'll take the scream I'll take the repercussions let me just be on TV and then fast forward um like in my my early 20s I actually had applied to be on the real world that was always like I always wanted to like be in media because I never saw people like me you know I'm black I'm Puerto Rican a plus-size I'm transgender and I never see people that look exactly like me on any kind of media you know what I mean like I feel like you can even go and look it up and your not going to see that many people that look like me and I always just wanted to you know be that representation and to like you know also just like get crazy Get Loud get you know what I mean like Jersey sure like I've always wanted to just like be an icon and like you know be like just like a you know like have people just like love me for my reactions how I am in real time rather than something that like I'm curating you know what I mean ride with this take every opportunity take everything that comes your way soak in every moment everything that comes with this look around take it every you know every scenery every everything these kinds of moments don't last forever and I think we all know that and I think that it's important to live in the moment make the most out of it that you can plan ahead and have fun you know nothing in life is permanent and you're going to look back at this one day and just think it is just such a cool moment of your life and think about how special it is and think about how important this was for you and I just think that it's like you know we always say that this person had their 15 minutes of fame but those 15 minutes are yours they're no one else's those are your 15 minutes from one minute to 15 taken every single minute [Music]