Mindy today is the greatest day of my life other than the day when Donald Trump said I was one of his favorite blacks but this is a close second because today you will become my wife and I promise to cherish you in sickness and health because this country is not a racist country it allows me to be with you even Republicans said it was okay because I was one of the good ones sickness and health richer or poor but I know you got paid a lot of money Mindy to be my wife for a period of time where additional payments will come through direct deposit if we stay married long enough so in sickness and health straightness or gayness I mean till death or violation of our agreement do we part so Mindy with this ring I the wed and if by some miracle of God we were to have children beautiful American children growing up in a non-racist country they can identify as white because we don't want any of that Cala Harris confusion that's destroying the Democrat Party so thank you Mindy I love let's get married already