Pyle, U.S.M.C.: Season 2, Episode 24: Duke Slater, Night Club Comic

Gomer Pyle USMC starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter hey here's another one guess who this is maybe maybe sweet as any name could be but you only God he gave it to my brother in a back why that's great dude Betty Grable right are you making a joke thank you Frankie that was her football guard wasn't it dude this is Jimmy Cagney Gomer well that was perfected shall we here's another one guess who this one is Homer [Music] hey Sergeant Carter Sergeant Carter you're the best sergeant of marine ever had while you're just like a mama thank you thank you Shazam oh yeah I almost forgot Shazam gosh dude you ought to be on the stage you really should knock on how you do all them things all right here here's another one this ought to be very close to your heart going all right pie you Lane brain you nitwit you knock on him I can order I give you an order now you lift that bull doesn't carry back to the multiple you hear me move it move it move it okay that's wonderful dude there's some more to me again all right no no I got a better one this is good guy walks in and oh hi Sarge what is this a lady's Garden Party do you realize what time it is you people were supposed to be in formation at 10 o'clock shot you do know what 10 o'clock looks like the little hand is on the 10 and the big hand is on the 12. all right let's go move it move it move it what are you looking at holy Sergeant I just can't get over it get over what how much you sound like dude I don't know what you're talking about and I don't care I just want you out on that street and I mean now go where are you out of your head telling Connor about Duke why what was wrong with fire oh come on Goldman if he knew I was imitating him he why he'd be flattered flattered well yes why not anybody would Grandma pod used to always say imitation is the sincere's form of flattery well Grandma Pyle isn't in our platoon come on let's go move it move it move it so I'm gone how you do that wait a minute stop no more walking wait where are we going what are we gonna do I I don't want to walk the streets all night well how about a movie there's nothing no well Frankie you don't even know what it is yet it's a Godzilla movie right how'd you know every week There's a Godzilla movie that guy must have made more movies than Doris Day well this one's about a teenage Godzilla what do we do then I hear the tall Girls Clubs having a dance at the YWCA oh no forget it the last time I went to one of their dances I got a stiff neck let's keep walking hey what's this entertainment entertainment Entertainment Tonight only opportunity tonight at the lower a dollar and a half minimum come in and have the ball how about that well if there's anything I hate it's those corny amateurs oh come on Duke will get a few laughs it's better than Godzilla I like shows like that maybe they got somebody that plays the spoons did you ever see anybody do that come on dude there's nothing else I might as well [Music] [Applause] I bet she can scratch behind her ear with the foot probably your next trick [Music] thank you great wonderful wonderful thank you very much little Alice broken fell ladies and gentlemen boy oh boy what a trooper by the way friends Alice didn't want me to tell you this but she came out here with a temperature of over a hundred and one how about that I knew there was something wrong with her I have a real treat point here's a gentleman who really doesn't belong on an amateur program because as far as I'm concerned he's a real professional right down to his fingertips and now without further Ado won't you help me at this time for our real grand Jade Club reception for Mr Seymour fariki and Harry Seymour glad to see you soon [Applause] [Music] oh come on you would too do you the Atlantis was good but I think you're better watch up on that stage and do your imitation I'll quit over here you really should try it do what have you got to lose I don't even have an act through the imitations ha ha ha ha IM I have wonderful too much [Applause] well friends I just about winds up our show unless of course we have some other talented amateur out there who would like to come up here on the stage and show us what they can do about it folks anybody else out there remember there's a 25 prize besides that the winner gets the chance to come back to appear in our regular show tomorrow night 25 bucks is practically in your pocket it sure is Sir Sir there's somebody right here who's like come up and try no how about that ladies and gentlemen we've got a shy Marine let's get him up on stage folks come on come on buddy there we go I'm right up on the stage there we go come on up here come on be afraid of we're all friends out here it's a wonderful audience do you mind telling me what your name is what do you do well uh my name is Duke Slater um why why this young fella does Impressions ladies and gentlemen wonderful there's a great audience out there there's your microphone you're on your own good luck buddy thank you well thank you uh honestly folks I don't really uh sing or dance and I don't have anything prepared it's just that uh well uh the other day I was uh fooling around the barracks doing a couple of Impressions and my good buddies over there seem to think I'm pretty good at it so uh well here I am darn it well as you can see I'm a Marine I was sentenced I mean I joined for four years I love the Marines and and one nice thing about it you get to meet a lot of nice guys like my good buddy over there Gomer Pyle hey everybody it's me Gomer surprise surprise surprise you want to make my sergeant Shazam that's another one Sergeant Carter we call him King Kong I'll never forget the first time I met him it was in basic training I was sleeping peacefully in the barracks it was pitch dark the middle of the night and all of a sudden this soft gentle voice came to us all right you nitwich you lame brain you Knuckleheads rise and shine up banana let's go and move it move it I don't know what Sergeant Carter did before he got in the Marines but I suspect he worked for a van and storage company because that's his favorite expression move it move it move [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you [Applause] this is it the moment of truth now we're going to find out who wins our 25 cash prize we do contestants Connie come up on the stage please move it move it move it now first of all our first contestant is George Toomey who played the spoons [Applause] little Alice birkenfeld [Applause] private Duke Slater yeah the winner is private Duke Slater William I'm sorry for little Alice though I hope she gets over a cold gives me a great deal of pleasure this time to present you with this check 25 and also an invitation to come back to appear in our regular show tomorrow night gee thanks a lot my pleasure more I guess they want to hear more you want to hear more about my sergeant oh come on come on well okay okay I never really did describe him to you did I well uh picture of very ugly Bulldog well he's he's not quite that cute not too bad Carter missed this he'd have enjoyed it I'll bet you still can tomorrow night you're gonna tell him why not [Laughter] sergeant as you know every six months the base rates its non-commissioned officers and the current ratings have just come out I thought you'd like to know who the top rated surgeon on the space is right now sir for outstanding leadership for earning the respect and confidence of his men Sergeant Vincent Carter that's very nice there'll be a formal presentation sometime next week but I thought you'd like a little Advanced word on this well yes thank you sir it's a great honor congratulations Sergeant as far as I am concerned I think the committee picked the right man thank you sir good afternoon Sergeant good afternoon foreign [Applause] well you know the semi-annual NCO Awards guess who won you well not you not you and not you that's really great Vince would you have to buy off to get it and if you guys said you had something to tell me what was it oh it wasn't too much fence except the boys and I saw this great comic down at the Jade club we thought you might get a big kick out of them yeah yeah with your sense of humor events you'll really enjoy it the Jade Club huh well by writes I ought to do a little celebrating tonight maybe I'll do my celebrating right there good idea it's just a thing an award-winning Sergeant would enjoy it yeah right boys right right well so long loses I gotta go see my men they just love me don't forget the Jade Club [Music] well you know someday you're gonna be a sergeant so you might as well know the secret I'm tough all right I'm plenty tough but I'm fair I'm tough and I'm fair and I'm understanding and you're modest right that's why my men love me Sergeant Carter oh Pyle well even you can't spoil my day pile come in come in what can I do for you oh you sure sing me the good mood Sergey Telly Boyle you want me to sure tell him well Paul it is not for publication yet but your sergeant here was just given the semi-annual sergeants award rated the best Sergeant on this base no oh for gosh sakes what do you think that's right Bob for outstanding leadership and for earning the respect and confidence of my men well forgot our Sykes I can't tell you how happy I am Sergeant congratulations congratulations congratulations now what's on your mind I just want to know if you've done anything special tonight tonight uh I've already been spoken for you should have asked me sooner that's funny Sergeant you know you sure got a good sense of humor yeah everybody says that what a woman to say though is that if you're not doing anything special tonight you ought to go down to the Jade Club you see last night they had this opportunity contest and Duke won first prize and he's going to be there again tonight and Sergeant Carter he's the funniest comedian you've ever seen Duke Slater yeah and he's funny funny funny you know somebody else was telling me about a comic down at the Jade Club but I didn't know it was Slater well it is and he is funny funny funny yeah you told me well I might just drive down there well you'll sure be thrilled Sergeant because he is funny funny I won't tell Duke you're coming I just let it all be a big surprise well okay all right Paul maybe I'll drive down there well good sergeant and Sergeant best wishes on your award again congratulations congratulations congratulations yeah you know there's a buck 50 minimum at the Jade Club so this is no night to count pennies this is the night to hell what's about 50. is that a person or a couple or person search well so what this is a night to celebrate our pickup bunny we'll have dinner and drinks and some of that Napa Valley champagne don't worry we'll get our three dollars hi Vince hi Yvonne hey uh what are you doing in slacks what am I doing in slacks I always have my stockings on those stools down at hamburger pizza oh it gets pretty cold at the beach you know beach what beach we're not going to hamburger pizza but I'm hungry and you promised me dinner fins and those sandwiches are only 30 cents I don't see why wait a minute baby I know that's what we usually do but tonight is different tonight is special tonight we're really gonna go big yeah we are going to the Jade Club the Jade Club well that's a dollar minimum when are you talking about a dollar it's a dollar and a half but that's okay baby because little Vince has really got something to celebrate tonight oh yeah what is what is it well sweetheart you are looking at the top rated Sergeant on the entire base the NCO Awards came out today and guess who won oh that's wonderful I'm real happy for you yeah so dressing the old baby Bell cause we're really gonna swing tonight I'm so happy and proud of you even if we did have hamburgers tonight I'd still be thrilled yeah well then maybe we ought to just have hamburgers tonight come on baby move it we don't want to miss the show we're gonna have fun fun fun [Laughter] [Music] why do you keep looking out there are you expecting something as a matter of fact I am I got a big surprise for Duke yeah what well I invited Sergeant Carter to come down you what told me you didn't Lisa did he said he'd come what's wrong Frankie what's wrong why he'll blow his top Sergeant Carter why would he do that oh come on because Duke is doing that imitation of him well that's reason I invite them down oh boy coming you really oh I gotta warn him he's going on next morning about what oh Gomer don't you understand [Music] all right oh no it's too late Carter isn't here yet maybe he'll miss him still don't know why that upset you some we discovered a very funny funny comedian so we've asked him to come back this evening to appear for you ladies and gentlemen so won't you help me at this time for the real solid Jade Club reception for private Duke Slater [Applause] [Music] welcome back later hey we're just in time they're introducing him now oh good good gosh I never knew I had so many relatives oh no it's Carter this is it this is the end well thank you thank you very much uh last night I told the folks about some of the fellas in my platoon and it seemed to go over pretty well so I thought I I might as well do the same thing tonight that is if you want me to I thought it'd be pretty good okay well first of all there's my good buddy Gomer Pyle Gomer Pyle [Music] hex likes and Shazam these guys and then there's our sweet gentle Sergeant with this soft tender little voice wakes us up in the morning with the voice of a nightingale is gonna do you yeah all right shoe nitwich move it move it move it move it you're not something is now your Marines m-a-r-u H m-a-r-e Marie does he look like he's enjoying it what is this is this his act and you know the sarge has this terrible problem with his ears every time he gives us an honor we usually say yes sergeant and he says I can't hear you and we say yes sergeant and he says I can't hear you and we say yes sergeant and he still says I can't hear you I think his mother forgot to take off his earmuff in come on Vince he's just kidding me the people think he's funny well I don't come on let's get out of here and we got to do something we're like What well I don't know but we gotta do something and this is the way Sergeant Carter counts Cadence [Music] what are you doing I'm on I'm on what are you doing I'm sorry dude but there's something I gotta say excuse me for interrupting folks but my name's Gomer pie [Applause] I just want y'all to know how pleased that was that the way Duke here was imitating me and there's another fella here that Duke took off on and I wouldn't want him to get out of here before you meet him and that fella is Sergeant Carter and he's standing right over there by the door in addition to being a good Sergeant he's also a real good sport because all the time that you always liking it the way Duke here was imitating him they're wanting nobody enjoying it any more than Sergeant Carter his self he's got a wonderful sense of humor for you and there's something else I want y'all to know about Sergeant Carter he's one of the best sergeants on our base as a matter of fact he won an award just today for that very reason being the best Sergeant on our base now wouldn't you all like to meet this fella who knows how to take a joke on his sale good morning [Applause] yes indeed thank you welcome to the Jade Club Sergeant Carter uh would you mind saying a few words for us please uh you know uh private slate is pretty good but well he really doesn't do me right I mean when I say move it move it move it but I mean move it move it move it right [Applause] well that's what it winds up our show but before we do it I was just wondering Sergeant Carter what about you is there anything you can do for us you have any hidden talent oh no no I can't do anything why don't you sing a song Sergeant he's got a real fine boy really is that true Sergeant no not really how about a song well come on little buddy what'll it be well does the band know for me and my gal of course I know for me or my dog hello fellas [Music] are singing for me my gal [Music] everybody's been knowing to a wedding [Music] and for weeks they've been sewing every Tuesday [Music] for me and my girl and someday we're gonna build all along [Music] foreign [Music] thank you