if you found someone and she's everything I never was why can't you let me in a little bit and just Mom be be a co-parent to you feel exid same way like I've been in your shoes at this point I said to Jim we are going to be at every big Monumental moment in the life like at some point you have to have a conversation with him when you see like him and the kids and it's just them and you're not in that picture like does that hurt you like you just been a race like that your family and all of a sudden you like you've been cut off yeah I think that's the hard part after my divorce I lost my daughter I don't understand God because why would you take my child away from me I'm going to be your strength right now God please just uh lift Tamera up right now and just um uh fill her with all of your love and your peace the last time I saw Sydney was at Sophia's graduation last year it was so nice to just talk to her and then I thought oh my God here we are we're on the up and up and no I I would text her afterwards and she just wouldn't return my text messages well thank you for sharing no here we go again I'm sorry eat your [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] sausage are we playing pickle ball I don't think I don't know if I've ever played pickle ball oh my God it's so fun I love it I'm more of a tennis kind of girl but where are you supposed to just be in this the little Court the little Court the little Court yeah and then what you just you know what there's a lot of rules but I've only done it I only do it with the [Music] trainer oh I got to run a lot I guess all the hours that Emily spends at the gym doesn't quite translate into um athleticism [Music] I apologize for getting up but that's what I'm learning if I'm upset I just got to go take a breath okay it's like I'm digging myself out of a hole and I feel like you are the one of the people that just trying to push me back in there let me tell you what I'm doing right now is I'm focusing on myself you should I have kept a very small circle of people around me and I have received so much overwhelming support I've never had this much support in my life so the 10 years that I was there for you as a friend and talked to you all the time about every issue you've had I wasn't there for you yeah that's pretty hurtful I came here to try to make things better and all you've done has been defensive and yelling at me the entire time I'm not yelling at you I've been screaming at me okay oh for once Tamara judge is calm for once you're calm do you know how off the rails you were the other night at Gina's dinner and then you like start backing up Alexa Bolino making allegations towards me it's like stick in your lane Alexis oh about the money that you owe John I don't owe him money I never signed a promisory note that I owe him money I paid for everything the first two years of our relationship so now what I have to do and spend my time in doing is going through and reliving how stupid I was to stay is he suing you yeah he is he's suing you and my lawyer made a settlement offer today I don't know him anything and they sorry just been a bad day I'm sorry he I'm sorry he said I won't accept one penny under $75,000 he said that if you don't come up with a payment plan to pay him $75,000 they're filing on Friday so I am not making monthly payments to John jackon it's not going to happen