Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

More than 400,000 people clicked over to the voter registration link swift provided in the 24 hours after that post went live taylor swift is like a nuclear arsenal i don't think something this powerful should exist but since it does i'm glad she's on our side hello everybody wow welcome to love it... Read more

Category: Entertainment

You pay attention to the polls i mean oh i i love the polls i i but i don't pay attention if i'm losing or lagging i' never mention it believe me only one i'm yeah Read more

Category: People & Blogs

There we go we should talk about the debates a little bit uh they were excited so taylor you didn't watch kyle you didn't watch clips of it but like age mythology rules i've been having fun with that it is hard to do better than i got space marine too i was playing that oh brother's trying to get me... Read more

Category: Comedy

No there you go there you go hey don't forget to smash the subscribe smash the bell and come on over to the pc.com get your ministerial certificate so you can perform marriages yeah perform weddings yeah and you'll get your free ministerial wallet license and you'll get a free degree yeah hey and if... Read more

Category: Entertainment

A it's m hey mickey yo mikey hey m hey guys what's going down get your foot off the table m yeah what's going down guys what's the matter with you guys come on what's the matter what is this a nuclear saturday or something come on guys this is our last weekend together last goony weekend we got to be... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[music] what are you crazy they're here they're here they're here they're here quiet right down there guys this way out this way this way come on you guys right through here let's go follow me come on don't fall behind let's go come [music] on [music] god what is this keep going guys look like m something... Read more

Category: Comedy

Hello and welcome to pandering hour deal with it never do this never ever not a good idea don't do this way better want top 10 killer cucks if you like putting stuff in your butt that is your right and don't worry about straight or gay it's not about that it's about your own satisfaction for you for... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Hello i'm benito mussolini and i endorse kamala harris as president of the united states of america kamala harris is a great woman she's been the vice president for many years as a matter of fact we could say that she's been more of a president than a vice president whenever joe biden was sleeping... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

They're eating dogs they're eating dogs and cats they're barbecuing parakeets they're barbecuing parakeets it's very bad you got a lot of immigrants these immigrants coming in he didn't say anything about the ukrainian immigrants but a lot of brown immigrants coming around they're rapists they're drug... Read more

Category: News & Politics

We got no food we got no jobs our pet's heads are falling off Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Most people say what's the best for i look i used to deliver the new york times when i was a kid and i did it it wasn't even that profitable i delivered the boston globe was my main newspaper that i delivered and then i delivered the boston herald as well and then i got a new york times route and i... Read more

Category: Entertainment

President of the united states joseph r bid i can't believe they let the penguin out after 8:00 p.m. again so how do you think this speech went welcome back to another uncle joe's greatest hits joe spoke at the phoenix awards dinner in dc tonight and if you can't tell from the opening clip it was pretty... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I want to get the war settled i know zalinski very well and i know putin very well they respect me i will get it settled before i even become president but we have a president mr that doesn't know he's alive donald trump says that this war would be over within 24 hours is because he would just give... Read more

Category: Entertainment

What we need to do to bring down the cost of housing my proposal includes what would be a tax credit of $25,000 for first-time home buyers you don't need to be responsible and save let mommy take care of you mommy's going to make all the pain go away Read more

Category: Comedy

Reporting live from hyper clubhouse in atlanta for comedy hype news i'm symphony thompson well sha diddy colmes has been ordered to pay a100 million in a default civil suit judgment for an alleged assault that took place in 1997 back in june a man named derek lee cardello smith filed a civil suit against... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[音楽] あ [音楽] あ y Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] hi i'm john goodman grizzled show business veteran and you're listening to smartless smart [applause] l smart bl smart bl i was almost just a little bit late today because i i may have just had like one of my one of my first sessions definitely um first half dozen can't count them on one hand... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] [music] oh dear there too many years behind the des mayday [music] mayday i d you did it you called me d [music] bary you [music] lad what am i going to do i got to think of [music] something no [music] wake up uncle help help save me save me from this mad mba don't worry i'll take care of him... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

[music] so i want to return back to the debate that took place between kamla harris and donald trump and there was one woman voter and i saw this even get retweeted out by good friend the show uh uh jamal green all right because uh this woman here this voter says that kamla harris has no plan for black... Read more

Category: Comedy

Breaking news today out of riviera texas vice president kamla harris was on a hunting trip with former vice president dick cheney when she was shot in the face in what appears to have been a freak hunting accident this comes just days after vice president harris was endorsed by cheney in her current... Read more