Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

This video was made in a request from now abandoned enjoy the show i want to watchy i want to watchie tom will you just shut up we are not watching barney you are too old for barney you are driving me crazy just sit down and shut up no i will not i hate you you stupid piece of [ __ ] get out of this... Read more

Category: Comedy

बचपन में मैंने सोचा था जो होगा देख लूंगा लेकिन अब जो हो रहा है देख ही नहीं पा रहा क्यों ऐसा क्या हो रहा है जो आप देख नहीं पा रहे कल गली में लड़ाई हो गई बताओ किसकी मैं सो रहा था ना देख ही नहीं पाया Read more

Category: Comedy

सुहाग रात वाले दिन अगर मेरी बीबी ने जोर से चिल्ला दिया तो मेरे घर वाले क्या ही सोचेंगे मेरे बारे में कि कैसा जानवर लड़का पाल रखा है और अगर वह नहीं चिल्लाई तो फिर मैं क्या सोचूं अपनी बीवी के बारे में कि मेरे स्टेडियम का पहला खिलाड़ी मैं ही नहीं था बात तो सही है स्वा Read more

Category: Comedy

Two nights ago donald trump and i had our first debate and i believe we owe it to the voters to have another debate so what do you think huh do you think there should be a second debate huh do you huh oh oh yeah you know lacy right oh a cop knocked on my door a few minutes ago and he said lacy's been... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Look at what happened to danab bash l about the palestinian people she l calling out danab bash's bias coverage danab bash's colleague at cnn jake tapper said protesters target dana because she's jewish there is nothing about her coverage of the israel hamas war that is different from most other news... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our first guest tonight is a legend she is a two-time oscar winner and a frequently arrested champion of human rights please say hello to the one and only jaye [applause] [music] fonda guess what what i've got big news what happened taylor swift just endorsed kamala that's true right that really happened... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[music] so there is no doubt that the momentum is on kla harris's side right now but i've been talking to a lot of pollsters and i just i and i know how we feel about the polls they say this we live in such an era of polarization that she's running a flawless campaign she could ride out a pegasus with... Read more

Category: Entertainment

welcome. welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world. to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. make no mistake. we are live right now! coming to you from the ed sullivan theater after the first presidential debate. harris v. trump. kamala versus the trauma-la. donald versus... Read more

Category: Comedy

In springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live there Read more

Category: Comedy

Jimmy kimmel no talent now he wouldn't do a show i guy's terrible jimmy kimmel show's practically dead nobody will watch jimmy kimmel every night his ratings are terrible he's not a talented guy i thought he was our lousy host jimmy kimel live tonight on abc the worst network is abc i think abc is a... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

And i'm going to actually do something really unusual and i'm going to invite you to attend one of donald trump's rallies cuz it's a really interesting thing to watch people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom people don't go to her rallies there's no reason to go and the people... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Donald trump posted on truth social that he will not be debating kamala again no more he said when a prize fighter loses a fight the first words out of his mouth are i want a rematch polls clearly show that i won the debate against comrade kamla harris the democrats radical left candidate on tuesday... Read more

Category: Gaming

What was the flavor you asked red spinny the flavor is red okay but what is red cherry right oh man women you know y'all got to break down the specifics huh it's certainly not cotton candy what an interesting cotton candy what an interesting choice excuse me and sure ain cen candy Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I want to begin tonight with the issue that voters repeatedly say is their number one issue and that is the economy and the cost of living in this country vice president harris you and president trump were elected four years ago and your opponent on the stage here tonight often asks his supporters are... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

They're eating dogs they're eating dogs and cats they're barbecuing parakeets they're barbecuing parakeets it's very bad you got a lot of immigrants these immigrants coming in he didn't say anything about the ukrainian immigrants but a lot of brown immigrants coming around they're rapists they're drug... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Mr president how do you feel about the night what is your review of your of your performance well i looked at the poll numbers i'm just going to use a scientific term and that is that the vice president crushed donald trump all right so how did the vice president how much did she crush him by look at... Read more

Category: Comedy

No there you go there you go hey don't forget to smash the subscribe smash the bell and come on over to the pc.com get your ministerial certificate so you can perform marriages yeah perform weddings yeah and you'll get your free ministerial wallet license and you'll get a free degree yeah hey and if... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[applaudissements] le 11 le 1 animal qui vit parmi nous étranger je sais pour qui vous avez voté à la présidentielle non non mais c'est le seul mot qui met guillaume mais vous faites ce que vous voulez Read more

Category: Gaming

Dem of the oh v with the squishy what a demo into the save drop down pass back oh my god the drop down pass is beautiful they have no boost holy excuse me right now two games are all that the falcons have dropped throughout the entirety of the world championship 20 seconds into this fal taking on carman... Read more

Category: Entertainment

A it's m hey mickey yo mikey hey m hey guys what's going down get your foot off the table m yeah what's going down guys what's the matter with you guys come on what's the matter what is this a nuclear saturday or something come on guys this is our last weekend together last goony weekend we got to be... Read more