we've basically got a tied race the candidates are doing everything they can do to ramp up the excitement kamla is speaking to voters in Pennsylvania in spice stores Trump is speaking to voters encased in bulletproof glass and JD Vance is trying to counter accusations that he's weird by swimming in the pool with his shirt on I'm starting to feel bad for this guy I mean this time around Trump may hang his VP out of Mercy although if you ask me this might be the most relatable thing JD Vance has ever done don't worry JD I'm with you and so are millions of other men with pepperoni nipples I see you I see you I see you now while JD Vance appeals to the self-conscious middle schooler vote Donald Trump has secured the endorsement of RFK Jr Tulsi gabard and Elon Musk three people who will help Trump reach voters who are undecided about what shape the Earth is it's good to know that Trump is getting into the nitty-gritty of policy because you want a president who's up to speed on the nuances of the issues and isn't just pulling stuff out of his ass commona support States being able to take minor children and perform sex change operation can you imagine you're a parent and your son leaves the house and you say Jimmy I love you so much go have a good day in school and your son comes back with a brutal operation can you can you even imagine this no no no I can't imagine this because it's an insane thing you just made up do you do you really do you really think a kid goes to school one day and comes back with a full sex change operation that's ridiculous Americans getting free healthc care not happening as per tradition in American politics the first question is always asked by the most handsome person in a 10 to 15 mile radius when it comes to the economy do you believe Americans are better off than they were four years ago ooh first [Applause] yaza oh yeah second answer question Mr Vice President I imagine and have actually a plan to build what I call an opportunity economy my plan is to give a $5,000 tax deduction to Startup small businesses I intend on extending a tax cut for those families of $6,000 holy we're all millionaires oh my God Donald your response to the question is the economy better now than it was four years ago we have millions of people pouring into our country from prisons and jails from mental institutions and insane asylums they're dangerous they're at the highest level of criminality they are taking over the towns they're taking over buildings they're going in violently ladies and gentlemen I just want to say after surviving the PTSD of the last presidential debate how unbelievably refreshing it is to go back to the same old nobody's going to answer any questions but we're in into a rhythm here nice back and forth I got to give it to Trump he's sticking to his guns and he's not letting KLA Harris get under his skin I actually think she's not going to be able to needle them I'm going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump's rallies he will talk about windmills cause cancer and what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom oh just going to start taking off his earrings and be like that's it let's go folks the eagle has landed she has attacked what is Donald Trump's most cherished family member his rally crowds Donald remember your training the question is about why you killed the bipartisan immigration bill you don't don't need to think about the other first let me respond is to the rallies she said people start leaving people don't go to her rallies son of a people don't leave my rallies we have the biggest rallies the most incredible rallies in the history of politics our country is being lost we're a failing nation in Springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live there but maybe the best way you know Trump lost the debate is that he repeatedly insisted he won I think it was the best debate I've ever personally that I've had we're getting polls that show 92 to6 88 to to 11 every single poll last night had me winning like 90 to 10 we had uh uh cpan at one point was at 80 to 20 we looked at one poll it was 92 to7 we had a 92% rating in one poll we had an 86% rating and another we had 77% 90% 60% 72% 71% and 89% wow those certainly were numbers I mean just listen to his response after Taylor Swift announced she is endorsing kamla Harris well I actually like uh Mrs uh I actually like Mrs momes much better if you want to know the she's a she's a big Trump fan I was not a Taylor Swift fan oh really really Donald you prefer Britney Mahomes what's your top five Britney momes songs is this really his angle well I I don't care Taylor because I like your boyfriend's co-worker's wife better I sent Ronnie changen Undercover to Springfield to find out if illegal migrants are really gobbling up our small town cats let's go live to him now Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie how how how is the investigation going well Jordan I'm in Ohio in a cat costume trying to get migrants to eat me so it's not great also it's not working okay I even tenderized myself with a jerk rub and went around saying meow meow I'm so tasty nothing okay yeah well obviously you're not going to fool anyone with a half-ass meow like that you need to commit to the role Ronnie okay hey hey don't tell me how to commit all right how many Marvel movies are you in okay trust me trust me okay I've tried everything I in a box I batter around some Yan I play with a dead mouse I found nothing have you been licking your butthole I can't reach my butthole did you try to did you try to reach your butthole try to reach my butthole okay I can't it's impossible on the Democratic side KLA Harris is Basking in the endorsement of Taylor Swift who posted her support to her 283 million Instagram followers this week which I'm sure the conservatives are taking it well I'm allowed to criticize Taylor Swift and I don't give a sh who gets upset this is disgusting she she wants to vote har walls she can do it all she wants but to say the reason she's doing it is because of Tim walls' stance on lgbtq F Taylor [Applause] Swift I guess I'll find someone else to go with me to the ARs tour huh you know what maybe I'll just rip them up who cares Joe Biden was at an event honoring the First Responders on September 11th and several people at the event were wearing Trump shirts which frankly is a cool thing about America I mean nobody in Russia is meeting Vladimir Putin with wearing a naldi shirt you know if they do they're not leaving through the door so Joe Biden not only didn't throw anybody out a window he approached a man wearing a trump hat and the two of them kind of hit it off presidential hat presidential seal on it you an autographer oh sure I'll aut remember your name I don't remember my name I'm SL you're old you're an old part yeah I know man I'm an old guy and you're old I know you would know about that what old oh I know okay see that's sort of a nice moment two old men from opposite sides coming together to share a laugh while neither of them run for presidents and then it got even better there you go man I got I need I need that hat you want My Autograph hell no my name come on I ain't going that far yeah do filthy there is [Applause]