Browse Transcripts

Category: Entertainment

[applause] welcome one and all in here out there all around the world to the late show i'm your host steven colar and ladies and gentlemen we are coming to you live is what i'll be saying next week when kla harris and donald trump face off in their first presidential debate i'll be right here after... Read more

Category: Sports

If you don't like politics but still crave drama then buckle up for this meltdown of epic proportions so the first presidential debate between trump and biden happened and let's just say it was a spectacle trump fresh off what many called a disastrous performance couldn't handle the heat instead of... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Introduction opening hook describe the electrifying atmosphere of the debate and the high stakes for both candidates thesis statement explore how john stewart precisely identified the pivotal moment in the debate when camala harris effectively challenged donald trump marking a turning point in the discussion... Read more

Category: Comedy

Jordan klepper recaps the presidential debate last night kamla harris and donald trump took to the debate stage to make their cases to tailor allison swift and whoever else happened to be watching it was not a good night for trump in terms of personal tragedies for him i'd put it somewhere between losing... Read more

Category: News & Politics

[music] the much anticipated debate between former president donald trump and vice president kamla harris took place on september 10th 2024 and it lived up to the hype with election day fast approaching both candidates were eager to make their case to the american public held at the national constitution... Read more

Category: Comedy

City parking it's a hell for those who choose to live in urban areas but in philadelphia the eating in public capital of america if you're not keeping up with parking rules they'll move your car for you isn't that great it's called courtesy towing and philadelphians love it my car was moved from a legal... Read more

Category: Comedy

Trump commemorated 9/11 with a 9/11 conspiracy theorist we are now just 53 days away from the election, and the candidates are pulling out all the stops to build out their coalitions. on the republican side, donald trump has been flying around the country with far right internet troll, laura loomer,... Read more

Category: Comedy

Welcome to the daily show! my name is jon stewart. the second presidential debate has just wrapped up. we are live. well, technically, technically, i guess this is the second presidential debate. the first presidential debate of this match up. i can't wait to see who the winner will take on next i think.... Read more

Category: News & Politics

So because we've done two debates and because they were successful there will be no third debate as everyone saw two nights ago we had a monumental victory over comrade camala harris in the presidential dep in a significant development ahead of the november 5th election republican presidential candidate... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I actually created ivf i will personally inseminate any woman with sperm that wants it that's how much i believe in [music] ivf hey everybody welcome to the weekly show podcast with me john stewart we are back we are back with britney mmedic lauren walker our a wild producers we have been away for months... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome sasheer zamata. [applause] n/a n/a n/a sasheer. - jordan. oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. - oh my gosh. oh my gosh. i see this-- is it witch season already? it's been witch season. it's spooky time. it is. it comes earlier every year. is that because of, like, dark magic? - money. - it's money.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody? [cheering, applause] it's john leguizamo here. look, in two short months, america is going to be deciding whether to let kamala harris, its first woman, or donald trump, its grossest man. and i'm here because you know how every time they say that a bell rings an... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The daily show debate wrap up a hilarious take on the political circus welcome to the daily show john stewart with his signature wit delivers a comedic analysis of the second presidential debate in a way only he can john begins by humorously emphasizing that while this may be the second debate it feels... Read more

Category: Comedy

Cas you're not watching it you got to turn it to a different channel i will just go ahead and tell you the details what's going on in this debate okay i'm going be like the announcer of golf you know somebody's get ready to hold them morning and have somebody you can hear his voice in the background... Read more

Category: Comedy

Uh what do you call a dude that's running around the hood shooting people in the butt with a super soaker b day day Read more

Category: Comedy

Introduction and nate bergazzi's holiday special karoga shark media hello i'm johnny mack with your daily comedy news nate burgatti will host a holiday special for cbs put that in your back pocket it's produced by lauren michaels the press release tells us the show will shine a spotlight on the heart... Read more

Category: Comedy

[theme music] we just witnessed a debate between president joseph robinette biden versus former president donald robinette trump. [laughter] it was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it. the first biden trump debate a little over one month away right here on cnn.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Lived in new york and i remember that they stopped do you remember this they stopped all flights in boston and new york they stopped all rides to the airport uh in private cars you could only take a taxi yeah because what better way of stemming the flow of muslims than only allowing taxis to drive to... Read more

Category: Comedy

In springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating the pets of the people that live there they're eating dogs and cats and hamsters i saw it on tv they took my dog cooked it barbecue i saw it they ate lassie rentin tin they've eaten benji they've eaten... Read more

Category: Entertainment

They're in the park grabbing up ducks by their neck and cutting their head off and walking off with them are running into trash cans they're running into buildings they're running into they flipping cars in the middle of the street and i don't know how like this is a dude that is against haans so i... Read more