Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

[music] schools on the march can you imagine you're a parent and your son leaves the house and you say jimmy i love you so much go have a good day in school and your son comes back with a brutal operation can you imagine your child goes to school and they don't even call you and they change the sex... Read more

Category: Comedy

Pre show/intro [music] and we live shout out shat radio on the beat we're going to get to it in a couple minutes like to try not to go too hard in the beginning not to scare off the algorithm don't be scared you know once we get going it's very unlikely the algorithm will love us so we're going to get... Read more

Category: Sports

Am i the only one that didn't know just how intense this election season is buckle up folks with only 52 days until the big decision the race is tighter than ever last night on msnbc we saw some jaw-dropping moments first up the latest poll numbers are in candidate a is leading by a razor thin margin... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-guys, we are moving on. here at "late night," every night i deliver a monologue made up of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver, but we don't think that should stop... Read more

Category: News & Politics

-hey, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is our live "closer look" election special. we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. well, the first presidential debate was last night, and the bar was pretty low for former president donald trump. all he had to do was... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-earlier this week, several prominent republicans, including ohio senator and vice presidential nominee j. d. vance, promoted a false claim that haitian immigrants in ohio are kidnapping and eating family pets. here to respond is one of my writers, jeff wright. -thank you, seth. thank you. [ cheers... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-our next guest is a tony-winning, oscar-nominated actor you know from movies like "brazil" and "the two popes," as well as "game of thrones." he received two emmy nominations this year for his work in "the crown" and "slow horses." new episodes of "slow horses" premiere wednesdays on apple tv+. let's... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news. tuesday night's debate between vice president kamala harris and former president trump was watched by a reported 67 million people and then rewatched by at least... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actress you know from the movies "step brothers," "glass onion," and "bad moms," and shows like "wandavision," "mrs. fletcher," and "tiny beautiful things." she stars in "agatha all along," which premieres september 18th on disney+. let's take a look. -come... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-welcome back! we're here with kathryn hahn. i know your kids are teenagers, so it's probably very hard to impress them and make you think you're cool. but you were in the "spider-verse" movies when -- i guess the first one came out when they were a little bit younger. -yeah. -did they care about this?... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-our next guest is a talented director, writer, and actor you know from movies like "clerks," "jay and silent bob strike back," and "dogma." his latest film, "the 4:30 movie," is in theaters september 13th. let's take a look. -and all i want to do is [inhales deeply] -- is watch movies with you. [ soft... Read more

Category: News & Politics

(transcribed by turboscribe.ai. go unlimited to remove this message.) vladimir putin just endorsed kamala harris. so vladimir putin was on this interview and he was asked on his support for the us presidential election and it goes on and on how he supports kamala harris. literally this man was even... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Intro oh my god whoa grapefruit is beside passion of the fruit himself i'm bored whoa who's that what do you have hey watch the merchandise buddy wa oh hey how's it going uh hey i'm an orange um uh uh are you okay okay you're beautiful no i'm just a passion fruit more like passion cute uh that's passion... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Focusing on okay john in illinois supporting president biden right john uh yes yes i am and tell us why what did you hear from him that you liked well it wasn't so much uh what i heard uh from the president uh that i liked it's more what he didn't say what i mean by that is you know i'm i'm counting... Read more

Category: Comedy

-donald trump fled to his fox news safe space wednesday for a meandering town hall with sean hannity, where he insisted he's not weird, told the audience they had to vote for him even if they don't like him, and complained about mosquitoes running around his head. for more on this, it's time for "a... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. vice president kamala harris and former president trump faced off tonight in their first and only scheduled presidential debate. and if it went anything like the... Read more

Category: News & Politics

They going to say i'm racist but they call everybody racist i guess that mean nobody is racist now it doesn't mean much when you say it when you say it they going to say you racist racist hey everyone it's andrew claven with this week's interview with matt walsh and justin folk justin folk is the director... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-let's get to the news. in a new interview with podcaster lex fridman, former president trump acknowledged that he lost the 2020 election "by a whisker." luckily for trump, nobody heard it, because it was on lex fridman's podcast. [ laughter ] in a new interview, hillary clinton gave vice-president... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Now if you thought that our future peak at the debate was a bombshell waiting until you see these poll numbers we're looking at a surge a tital wave a political tsunami that has the entire democrat establishment shaking in their boots donald trump isn't just leading he is dominating in ways that we... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Ladies and gentlemen we've seen some political scandals in our time but this one takes the cake or should i say it takes the earring we're talking about earring gate and during the debate between donald trump and cala harris eagle-eyed viewers noticed something odd about cala harris pearl earrings tiffany's... Read more